The Twilight Saga

Join Me In Death (new moon but what if bella took it differently)- PG

 

 

Chapter One Death I wanted to die i really did. I knew i couldnt live through the, the hurt, the pain and humiliation. Why did life have to be so hard? And why couldnt anyone awnser my question. I knew i wasnt much but i deserved better then this stabbing pain that constantly made my heart beat with pain. I need a reason for life a reson that will make me stay here with Charlie. But even thinking of Charlie and Renee wasnt enough. My reason was Edward but that was gone now. He made it clear he didnt want me, he left me, he left me! after promising he never would. How dare he twist his words. I loved him, and where did that get me? Ill tell you it got me to the middle of this forest laying on the ground wishing i could feel nothing instead i had hate, pain, humiliation, despair, and hurt running through me every two minutes. I felt pathetic, why couldnt i get up and forget about him? why couldnt i? He could, he told me goodbye and left, but he had the power to do so. I could but it would involve my heart to stop beating and my lungs to stop breathing. That could be the only thing to get me off this floor, the thought of the physical pain easing my emotional pain. I wanted that feeling, to feel something that wasnt about him, something that if he came back he could see what he had done to me. I still loved him and i knew if he came and found me here right now and asked me to take him back i would, no doubt about it. I didnt want that, i didnt want him to have control over my life he walked out on. He made me promise to keep myself safe but why should i? Why should he care? You know what Edward i can break promises too. He had stolen my future and my identity, i could never be known as his girl friend ever again, i would now be known as the pathetic girl who wasted her time with Edward Cullen. The girls will laugh saying no wonder as if she was good enough for him but they didnt need to say it i already knew it too well, it never made sense for him to choose me i knew that. But i didnt question it, why would i? He said he loved me, that i was the only girl for him, maybe he wanted to just use me, maybe he was planning to kill me but the publicity got to much and how would he handle that. Everyone knew i was his, just not to the extent of it. I wanted my life to end because for me this was the end, the end of my sad life. Edward was all i had and with that gone, what was left to hold on to? I realised i had my bag with me and inside my craft knife. I didnt want anymore pain i wanted it to be over. Dying was the only thing that would bring me back to him because dying meant forever sleeping and my dreams were always about him, my god, my love. He ruined it but in death i would find him loving me once again and with that i put the knife to my left wrist, and started one of many cuts that would surely end my life. With my last breath i said "I love you Edward, Goodbye" Chapter Two Reborn The pain was worse then i could ever imagine. I felt like i was a marshmellow on a stick, with some kid holding it in the flames. Life was painful why was death as well? And then i realised this wasnt dying this was transforming into something that i never wanted to be since he left. I didnt want to live without him! I didnt scream though what was the point, maybe i deserved this pain, so why not take it with dignity. I could feel something holding my hand but i couldnt care less. The pain was nothing i had ever felt even when james snapped my leg i would take it over and over and still be smiling, this was different it made every part of my bodyfeel excruciating pain. Why couldnt God just let me die, i wanted to dream of him forever. Now i could search for him but what would be the point in that? All i asked for was death, to die. i didnt think it was that much to ask. The time passed slowly, eventually leaving me with my hands and feet pain free but the fire contiuned to burn me alive every where else. Everynow and then i would black out but then i realised i had to push through it to see who did this to me, why would they? Usually when someone commits suicide im pretty sure its because they wanted no more pain. But no they give me more pain, pain i could barely deal with. But atleast the burning went faster now, leaving me with everything pain free except for my heart. My stupid heart, but it kept beating when i wanted it to stop, i couldnt believe it was still in my chest. Then my heart slowed heading towards what could only be the last heart beat i would ever feel.

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but it was nescery common think about it, we are talking about edward cullen leaving you i mean come on what would you do if edward cullen said he loved you and left not leaving any trace?
i will :) but not right now
please post more soon :)
amazing keep writeing update me asap
Chapter Three
Hell

It was over, the burning was gone. I felt strong and i could feel the blood lust in me ready to kill whoever did this, they wouldnt get away with it. But even still i couldnt force myself to open my eyes because everytime they were shut i could see him, Edward. It hurt to think about him and now with my new brain i had enough space to hate him extremely and love him passionately, but i didnt want to feel either. I could still feel someones hand on mine but i couldnt hear a heat beat, so it was another vampire. My throat was hurting but i couldnt care less, i didnt know what to do next. Eventually i decided it was time to open my eyes, my eyes that would now be bright red.
I hesistantly opened my eyes and saw anxious eyes looking back.

"Bella are you okay?"
"Who are you?" i awnsered back but then i was overwhelmed at the sound of my new voice
"Im Demetri" He looked about twenty and he was massive bigger then Emmett
"Why did you do this to me!"
"I didnt Aro did"
"Whos Aro?"
"The leader of the Volturi, our king in a way"
"Well what bit of me wanting to die did yous not get?"
"But you had such great potential ofcourse i would rather have eaten you, but Aro said no" and he frowned in depression
"Oh what a shame" i spat back
"What where am I?" i said to fast
"Your in Volterra, in the Volturis castle"
"Great well i want to leave"
"But why? Also its the middle of the day you cant leave right now" and i flashed back to Edward in the sun, the diamonds that reflected of his skin
"Fine ill what till night then"
"Aro was actually hoping you would join us"
"Well i hope he enjoys disapointment"
"Ill go tell him then"
"Good" i spat i was to angry to talk small talk i wanted out of here, surely Alice would have seen this? Wouldnt she? I didnt know any more, i didnt want to be on this earth and how was a vampire suppose to kill themself? It would be helpful if people started answering my questions.
It felt like ages that i had been laying on this bed that i had woken up on, but i desided it was about time i had, once i had sat up i realised it was a massive mistake. In front of me was a mirror, and i knew that the person looking back at me couldnt really be me, although it was.

sorry for how short it is, i will be updating again tomorrow and it will be longer so please check back :)
Chapter Three Part Two
Hell

Looking at me was a beautiful creature and in every way was perfect, except for the bright glowing red eyes. I decided i would avoid mirrors in everyway possible from now on, for the reason it scared me too much. The room i was inwas magnificent, double doored wardrobe, a bright red canopy over the bed, the floor and walls were made from ancient concrete bricks. It was beautiful but i refused to stay here, if i knew anything about vampires it was about what they ate, and i knew these vampires would be traditional, feasting on nothing but humans, the thought made me sick. Although i knew i wasnt a cullen i was positive on keeping with their diet.
An hour later this so called "Aro" walked in.

"My dearest Bella..."
"You dont know me so dont call me your "Dearest""
"Stroppy arent we"
"Yes actually, i was finally getting what i wanted, death and you took it away from me"
"But you had such potential Bella cant you see, you were born for this life"
"Even if that was so i couldnt care less, if your not going to kill me then im leaving"
"Okay but remember Bella, you have a home here, with family"
"Thank you Aro but i best be leaving"
"If you wish" and he lead me to the door

"You know where to find us" he said while i walked into the night
"Yes i do" and i left, walking as slow as a human would, i had no where to be, i had no where to go, i was deserted on this world, i couldnt even go back to Charlie. My throat hurt worse as i walked past humans on the street, but i had to not kill them, i wasnt going to kill an innocent human. But why shouldnt i? Oh thats right because the ones that left me would be disapointed, but why would they care, they were the ones that left.
I carried on walking when i saw the gates of Volterra, i couldnt walk back home, i was in italy. But i was dead to all humans now, i decided to steal a car instead. I stole a nice black car, that was the best i could describe it as, i was never good with cars. I hoped in and speed off down the road. All the times i questioned Edwards abilitys i now realised there was no need, i was going 100 miles per hour and i felt like i was going slow.
The next day i had gotten as far as i could drive and i knew i would have to swim the rest, luckily today was cloudy. I hoped out of the car and dived off the pier into the sea, and i swam as fast as could. The water didnt make me feel cold, in a way it made me feel warm. Swimming was fast, i didnt need air and with my strength i got through the water incredibly fast. Once i got back to land i ran the rest of the way since it was night. The next morning i was standing in Edwards meadow. I decided that here was where i would lay waitingtoperish away. I thought maybe if i didnt hunt or do anything i would disapear, maybe disolve into my surroundings. I layed down and closed my eyes hoping it would come soon, the way out of this world i wanted so much.
this is phenomenal...love it..
thank you :)
So sad!
POST MORE
Chapter Four
Nothing

A week later and i was still laying in Edwards meadow. I still hadnt hunted and my throat was constantly burning, but my open spaced mind had enough room to take in my throat and still feel overwhelmed with grief. I never blinked, i didnt breathe, i didnt do anything except lay there. But the more i waited the more i expected to feel weak but i never did. I would watch the day turn into night, i would watch the rain falling on me, and i watched time pass me by hoping that tomorow would be the day that i could disapear.
My surroundings changed around me and i watched. I found beauty in this meadow but not the peace it once held for me. In the back of my mind i kept thinking of the Volturi, maybe i could live with them, rebuild a life for myself. But i didnt want that, i didnt want to live that way, i didnt want to live at all. I knew the only way vampires could be killed, and that was ripping them apart and burning the pieces, but i had no one to hel me with that.
Two weeks later i was still in the meadow thinking, i still hadnt hunted and with everyday my throat got more painful. Everyday i thought of the Volturi, of Edward, of getting up off the ground but i never did.
I was watching and it crossed my mind that this day would never end, i could sit here forever watching the twilight and my day would never have ended. I wanted the day to end, i needed to have the escape of sleeping but i would never for the rest of my eternity have an escape.
when the sun rose so did i, i wasnt going to perish away as much as i wanted to i knew it wouldnt happen. So i got up and went hunting to stop the incredible ache in my throat. I started running feeling the wind in my hair. I could smell prey so i went for it. It was a deer, i lunged right for its throat, feeling the life drain from its body. As soon as i was done i dived at the next one then the next one. After four i felt done, i was sloshy on the inside but the ache in my throat was less, not gone but not overwhelming either.
It was a cloudy day, and i missed everyone i ever loved. I decided i wasnt going to live with out Charlie, so i ran to my house. I had lost everyone else and i refused to let go of my dad. Once i had got into the actual town of forks i ran at a normal human speed, i didnt need everyone knowing what had happened to me. I had finally got to my front door and i decided to knock. I could hear someone get up to answer the door i was standing at.

"Dad!" i was suprised at my enthusiasm and i ran into him for a hug
"Bella?"
"Its me, i know ive changed but i need you"

He took me into the lounge and sat there starring at me. I could see he was scared by my cold touch, my red eyes, my changed voice and my changed body. But i was happy, for the first time since the end i was content at being where i was.

"Dad are you okay?"
"Bella what happened to you? You disapeared and then come back like this"
"Edward and his family left and i got upset, i still am but i cant tell you what happened to me, and you cant tell people about me, i just really needed someone, ill leave if you want me to i would understand"
"No this is your home Bells"
"Are you sure?" Charlie still looked shocked but i could see he wanted me to stay and i was thankful
"Yes, of course just dont leave me like that ever again"
"I wont Dad i promise"
"Well then do you want lunch?"
"Um no thanks i ate before i came" I knew Charlie would figure it out eventually but for the mean time i was safe and i could keep him safe

Later that night when Charlie had gone off to bed i decided to stay up and watch tv so i could fill my head with useless information rather then painful reminders. I watched movie after movie when the light switch got flicked on.

"Bella its six in the morning why arent you sleeping?" Charlie caught me
"Um i wasnt tired"
"But youve been up all night?"
"Yeah but im fine"
"Aw okay then" and Charlie went back to his bedroom, suprising for him going back to bed at six. Usually he was up and out the door at half past but i let it drop realising it was a sunday morning. Charlie didnt smell like food and for that i was happy, he smelled good yet not appetising. But i now had some where i could be without having to worry about anything. Ofcourse i didnt have to worry but i still did,i would wonder as well, wonder what Edward and the rest of the cullens were up to. And the pain would hit me once again, leaving me with my hands keeping my body from not falling to pieces.
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