Kill me softly, and kiss me goodbye

Chapter one : WHO AM I TO SAY ? - HOPE (SONG)



THE RAIN BEAT DOWN the window pain as I sat in complete silence. The thundering and flashes of lightening lit up the sky with a fierce glare. Letting little flickers of light peep in the dark room.


                                                                                I was staring blankly at the purple bruise on my arm . I remember. the rain beat faster. I remember. her breath caught. I remember how this all started. her heart rate accelerated.







                                                                              lets go back there ,shall we?




                                                                                          ~1995~




THE LITTLE HOUSE ON PRINCE EDWARD ROAD WAS QUIET, for a while nothing but the heartbeats of the tiny family was the only sound that occupied the air.

                                                                      E * S * M * E * pov

Everything was quiet. The sound of my own breath was all I heard . But , then it woke up. It tossed and turned. Even with my practically death hearing I could hear her through the shallow walls. Then , she laid down again. Charles got up without giving me a second glance.


                                                   And stepped out of the room . My heart sped up from my anxiety levels I new what was sure to come. I new the date. But , my mind couldn’t help but wonder. is he punishing me ? Is he getting rid of it ? Does he know secretly of my wants for her demise?


                                                                                                                                                             My thoughts were cut short by the sound of a little girl laughing . my little girl. I though with much distaste.




                           B * E * L * L * A pov


                                                                                           Daddy picked me up and twirled me around I laughed soo hard I thought I was going to start crying ! “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” he screamed in to my ear as I dissolved into giggles.


Then he said that I have to stay here with mommy today so he could go get my present. I said okay.


                                                                   ~L ATER THAT DAY~

I WAS JUST FINISHED PICKING ROSES FROM THE GARDEN they would look lovely , and then mommy would love me too right?


                                                          I shook my head . I guess I ‘ll find out.







                                                                                      E * S * M * E * pov



I walked in to the kitchen and sat down in the nearest chair. I put my head in my had as slow quiet tears trailed down my cheek smooth like a pen over paper.


                                                                                Why couldn’t I just have a boy? Why couldn’t I just have a little Edward or Jacob (oh my Carlisle ! I just had to put that in there!) or a little cocky jace or will ( Cassandra clare plz forgive me I coulmyself! He he ;)) dn’t help

No I get a tom girl . I prayed and prayed for a little boy but what do I get ? A tom girl.


                                                      Every problem in my life would have been solved I f I would have had a little boy. But I get the little creature that even has my horrible monster of a husband under he spell.




                                                                                                                             Sure she pretty , but nothing compared to how my Edward would have looked (gorgeous!) sure she nice but not as kind as my Edward would have been!




                                                                                            It . Is . All . Of . Her. Fault.





And the dreams of suffocating her stuffing her like a dog. And many others were sinful. But I am proud of them .


                                                                                             It is all her -



                                                  I screamed at what I saw . She was all muddy drinking a juice box and holding flowers . From . My . Garden. And sitting on my white couch. Oh no she is not getting away with this one!


                                                                                                                                                     I grabbed her hand and yanked her off the couch. She fell hard on the floor . She looked up at me shocked. She quickly scrambled to her feet a heart breaking expression on her little , heart shaped ,porcelain face .


                                                         I hit her in the gut when everything seemed to go in slow motion. I then slapped her across the face. Hard. She had a large hand shaped bruise on her face and her eyes welled with tears. Then I looked up into the very large, angry , shocked eyes of Charles.



                                             I was floating. I didn’t care . That felt great . I finally released the pain inside.




                                                                       Can someone release me ?






                                                                                    B * E * L * L * A pov



DADDY TOOK ME AND GAVE ME A BATH .
But it just hurt soo much . Why couldn’t she just love me?


                                                                                                                 I thought daddy would come and give me my birthday surprise but he didn’t . when I stepped out of the room I was pierced with a gut wrenched sob . It belonged to




                                                                           Daddy. “ why…. (sob) .. Can’t you …. (sob) .. Just love her!” he screamed then her was a breaking sound.



                                                                          “ I hate her.” she whispered .



Silent tears ran down my cheeks. I ran to the kitchen till I saw a brown bag . Since I was short I knocked it over they were three cupcakes a , crown , and a lighter with candles to match.


                                                             I took the crown , the match , a cupcake, and a candle I ran back to my room put the candle in the cupcake put the crown on and lit the candle before putting the match up.



                                                I took a deep breath an blew out the candles I wish she would love me.







                                                                           Happy birthday to me.