The Twilight Saga


**STORY NOW ON INDEFINITE HIATUS** This is the story of Edward's life after transformation/pre Bella, from his POV. I sort of wrote it for myself at first, as an exercise, but then I decided to share it. It may be a little boring. There isn't really much action yet, it's mostly Carlisle explaining things to him and helping him with his new life. I hope you enjoy it! Please let me know what you think! **all characters property of the wonderful Stephenie Meyer**

Posts are on pages 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 7, 9, 10, 11, 14, 15, 17, 19 and 20 with pages 2 and 3 containing 2 posts. (Thanks, Lestat for reminding me to add this little guide!)

Thud… thud… thud. Silence.

The relief I felt once the fire had finally ceased didn’t last. I opened my eyes, and the world was not as I remembered.

I could see, hear and feel everything around me… It was frightening, but I couldn’t help but feel fascinated. I looked around the room. I could see each brushstroke in the painting across from me… I could hear the sound of burrowing outside… termites, I assumed, as I could also smell the woody scent of sawdust… and I could feel every stitch of fabric in the sheet that I lay on. I didn’t recognize my surroundings, and before I could think about what I was doing, I leapt out of my bed and across the room at a speed that didn’t seem possible. I spun around and was automatically in a crouch. What was happening?

There was a man sitting next to the bed I had been lying in less than a second ago. I recognized him. This had been my doctor at the hospital, I was sure of it. I watched him carefully. I could hear him saying “I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry. I cannot believe I did this.” But he wasn’t moving his lips…

And then all of a sudden the doctor was gone and I was looking at a younger man, standing across the room from me. He had very pale skin… and bronze hair… He looked like me, but different, too. I flinched when I saw his bright red eyes. His features were more chiseled and defined than mine were, and he looked more muscular…

“What is happening? What did you do to me?” I said in a whisper. Upon hearing my own voice, I cocked my head in confusion. It did not sound like my own.

“Edward, I know that this is very confusing, but please, you must listen,” he said aloud. And then, without moving his lips, he added, I need to get him outside… he must be in a terrible thirst.

Then it happened again, something took over my body and it acted without my mind telling it to. My throat burst into wild flames and I threw myself out the door and directly toward the moist, beating sound I could hear nearby. I could sense the man following me, but I wasn’t able to turn away. I ran toward the sound faster than lightening. I needed something, anything, to quench this fire in my throat. I took hold of the first thing I reached. Not even realizing what it was, or what I was doing, I buried my teeth into its neck and bled it dry. I threw it aside and did it again and again, until I felt like my body couldn’t hold anything more. The taste in my mouth was terrible, but at least my throat had quieted.

All the while, the man stood back, watching me. Once I had finished, I realized that there were dead animals all around me. I was too shocked to speak. I looked at the man pleadingly for some kind of explanation. Never in my wildest dreams was I prepared for what he said next.

“Edward, my name is Dr. Carlisle Cullen, and I need to explain what has happened to you. Do you remember being in the hospital?” He asked in a slow, wavering voice.

I nodded, unable to speak.

“Both you and your parents had been brought to the hospital to die. Pardon me for being so blunt, but it is true. You were all infected with the Influenza, and there was nothing that could medically be done to help any of you. You already knew that your father had passed away, and soon after, your mother died as well. I check-”

“My mother is dead?” I interrupted, horrified. I gasped, even more horrified when I saw my mother’s pale, drawn face in my mind. Had I seen her before she died, and didn’t remember? Where did this image come from?

Carlisle looked confused by my actions. “I am afraid so, Edward. The Influenza is a horrible illness. Very few have been able to survive it. I checked on the two of you as often as I could, and the last time I saw your mother alive, she looked at me as if she knew what I was, that I was something… else, and begged me to save you. I knew it was most likely the fever speaking, but she looked at me with such clarity in that moment, that I could not believe her to be delusional. I told her that I would do whatever I could. She had used up all of her strength, and she dropped into unconsciousness and passed quickly,” he said, looking at me with pity in his eyes.

He walked slowly toward me with his hands up. I let him approach, unable to move. He placed his hand on my shoulder before speaking.

“I am so very sorry for your loss, Edward. Please try to take comfort in the fact that she did pass quickly. She loved you very, very much. I could see it in her eyes,” he said, before continuing his story.

“I looked at you in the bed next to her. You were so close to death, Edward. In a mere hour or two, it would have been too late. I took care of your mother, and then I covered you with a sheet and wheeled you to the back entrance. The hospital was in utter chaos with so many patients, so I knew that your absence would not be noticed. I carried you here, to my home and tried to make you as comfortable as possible, before beginning the process.”

“The… process?” I choked out. This was utterly ludicrous! If I had been so close to death, how was I not dead, as my parents were?

“Yes. I know this is going to be hard to hear, and I apologize again, but I believe that it is very important that you understand. The process began when I administered venom into your body. Over the course of three days, the venom took over your system in a very painful transformation. I know that it was torturous. I am very sorry for that, but as of yet I have heard of no way to lessen the pain. At the end of the third day, your human heart stopped beating and the transformation was complete.”

I winced sharply when he reminded me of my transformation, as he called it. That was something I never wanted to remember, but doubted I would ever forget. His entire explanation was insane, but one phrase stood out to me. “Human heart?” I asked.

“Yes, Edward. This will be very shocking, so please, brace yourself. It was the only way that I could fulfill my promise to your mother and save you.” He waited until I nodded again. This entire story sounded like the plot of a horror novel. What was going to come out of his mouth next?

“You are now a vampire.”

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Replies to This Discussion

Lestat . . . thanks for your reply . . . except . . . since Esme doesn't really know Edward, HOW would she be "in love" with him??? That's the part that had me a little confused . . .
OOOOHHHH . . . now I understand!!!! NOT that they were in love with Edward, but that they were in love with EACH OTHER!!!! DUH . . . WHEW, glad you cleared that up for me . . . again, DUH!!!! (How sad for Edward as the "third party"!!!!)
Thanks for the explanation, Lestat! You got it just right. And thanks for the compliment Connie! You are always so animated with your posts, haha!
Thanks Tami!! That means a lot to me, and it was nice to hear certain passages that you especially liked! I am so glad you all like this story!
a very long eternity indeed!

VANQUISH! I MISSED YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

you really are doing a very good job in capturing Edward's voice. i love it.

this is sad. but i love it.

it helps understand more about Carlisle and Esme.

can't wait for more! i hope your cured. =p
OMG i was so excited when I saw that you had wrote more. It was amazing as all of your writing. Please post more soon. I feel so bad for Esme, but i guess things to work out in the long run.
I glad you posted and that your feeling better. Great chapter feel bad for Edward though now feeling like a third wheel. : (
I was so glad to see your email, Vanquish! I've missed your posts!

I really loved this one - the beginning of Edward's life as a third, then fifth, then seventh wheel... I could really feel his sadness, his isolation.

Excellent job!
Beautiful yet again. I love seeing your interpretation of their story. Poor Edward, already thinking of himself as a third wheel.

I'm sorry to hear you were under the weather. Hope you're feeling better.

Looking forward to more!
wowww that was such a good chapter!
its deffinatly been worth the wait!

i was reading some of your earlier chapters, and i realised that youve actually done alot of research for this story!
i came across afew interviews with stephanie meyer.. and originally i thought you had made a few things up just to fill in the gaps.. but you hadnt! that makes me even more impressed and amazed at how fantastic you are!
I was brought to this particular fanfic by another; Actors Hooked on Fan Fiction, by Erica. I loved her stories and thought that since she was referencing your story in one of hers it would be worthwhile. I was right. Your story is absolutely wonderful. You have an amazing writing ability and a true connection to Edward's character. Too often I start a fanfic and get disgruntled because I could never see the characters doing the things they were. You not only stayed true to Edward, you also write incredibly. I am thoroughly impressed and anxiously awaiting the next installment. Thank you for sharing your talent.

PS. Your other story, The Wedding, was also astounding. ^.^ I look forward to see what you write next.


Hey guys, I know it's been a while, but this is a big one and it took a while for me to get right. I hope you enjoy it.

When the sun was about to break over the horizon, I headed back to the farm. I listened from a distance, making sure I wouldn’t be interrupting anything. I could hear Carlisle answering questions Esme posed to him about vampire life, but that seemed to be all, so I deemed it safe to return.

When I cautiously walked in, they both smiled at me.

“Edward, I am so sorry to have taken up so much of Carlisle’s time. He told me that he and you have been companions since he… created you,” she said, a little shyly.

“Please, there is no need to apologize,” I said sheepishly.

“Edward, could I speak to you privately for a moment?” Carlisle asked.

I nodded and we left the house for the edge of the forest. If we spoke quietly, it was far enough out that Esme wouldn’t be in hearing range.

“Edward, I do apologize for making you feel as if you needed to leave last night. I would never consciously try to make you feel uncomfortable. I know how strange this is going to sound. It’s just… in the nearly two centuries I have walked this earth, I have never felt this way before. Ever since I met Esme and then left her, I’ve felt as if a large piece of myself had gone missing. But now, I feel whole again. And that she feels the same way… it’s more than I could have ever asked for. I need to be with her, Edward, there is simply no other way for me. But I do not want you to leave, and I feel that that is a concern of yours. Would you want to stay with us? I very much want you to, as does Esme. I do hope you will say yes.” He truly meant what he said, but how could I do that to them?

“But… how, Carlisle? I would do nothing but burden the two of you,” I mumbled, toeing a rock on the ground. I knew I wasn’t the most pleasant person to be around, and I didn’t want to be a thorn in their sides.

“You would never be a burden to me, son. Please, think about it,” he said, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder. “Last night I came to a solution about how to handle the issue regarding Esme’s missing remains, as well as some other matters. I wanted to tell you my thoughts before making any decisions. Is that all right?” I nodded for him to continue.

“Firstly, being as no family members know Esme’s whereabouts, it should be fairly simple to clean up this mess I’ve made,” he said, smiling apologetically. “I will go to the hospital and falsify the documents regarding the discharge of her body, stating that the remains were released to the cousin from Milwaukee she had mentioned. I’ll forge the signature of the head of the department. He signs hundreds of the same document every year, therefore I don’t believe even he will question its authenticity. Unfortunately, I do not think it is prudent for us to remain in Ashland. I was considering a move to Minneapolis, perhaps? I would resign from my position at the hospital here, with the excuse that I am going back to England to care for my ailing relative. What do you think?”

It sounded like a sound plan, and though I felt terrible for Esme’s situation, the fact that she had no contact with her family certainly made things easier. But I was unsure about living with them... But what else could I do? I didn’t want to be on my own in this life, and Carlisle was all I knew. I suppose I could try it, at least temporarily. What about Esme’s status as a newborn? Would we have to put off my being part of the human world again, until she were ready also?

“It’s a good plan, but Carlisle, what about Esme being a newborn? And are you planning to work at a hospital in Minneapolis right away?” I tried to sidestep my deeper concern of not wanting to have all the work I had done desensitizing myself to human blood wasted, but he saw through me.

“As for Esme being a newborn, we will find a way to balance out her need of supervision with your desire to be out in the human world again. And I believe I will eventually go back to medicine, but it is more important to spend time acclimating Esme to this life, as I did with you. And I would greatly appreciate your help with that, should you choose to stay with us, and of course if you wouldn’t mind? Please don’t worry, son. It will take some time and some figuring out, but we can make this work. Can you trust me?”

I was about to argue again about my being an encumbrance to them, but how could I possibly say no his request? I didn’t want to trouble them, but I had no desire, at all, to be alone. And of course I trusted Carlisle; he had never given me a reason to doubt him.

“I do trust you, Carlisle. And I have my reservations, but I would like to try,” I laughed just a bit at the end of my sentence as his face and thoughts gave away his relief. He really did want me to stay.

“Well, I will go to the hospital this evening and tie off all the loose ends there, then. And of course I’ll have to telephone Minneapolis to find a place for us... We should be set to head out in a few days. While I am away this evening, would you mind staying with Esme? I won’t be gone long.”

“Not at all,” I smiled. If I were going to be living with the two of them, I may as well take this time to try to get to know Esme a bit better.

“Thank you, Edward. I truly appreciate it. Come on, let’s go back inside,” he said, clapping me gently on the back.

We spent the rest of the daylight hours immersed in our own activities. I played my piano that I would surely miss leaving behind. I’d have to get another in Minneapolis. I didn’t want to be without one again. I was actually becoming fairly good, though I suppose anyone would when they had endless time to practice.

Carlisle and Esme talked quietly in the kitchen for a while, and then he took her out hunting. I had fed the night before, so I didn’t join them. I did however halt my playing as I listened for Esme’s reaction to seeing her new skin in the light. I heard her gasp, but her thoughts indicated that she found the eight-color spectrums she and Carlisle were casting to be very beautiful. I had to admit it was an… interesting effect… but I could not agree with her assessment. We were killers, and I could not see our freakish skin and other traits as beautiful.

And then, as if on cue with my own thoughts, the unspeakable happened. My eyes bulged and my throat caught fire. Human blood. I could smell it through her mind. Of course, Carlisle and I were able to resist, but not Esme… not yet. Her instincts took over immediately and I saw her tear into the woods with a stunned Carlisle trying to catch up. He wouldn’t be able to stop her in time. I was faster, I had to try. I leapt out of the house, running faster than I ever had. I flew past Carlisle, but even I wasn’t able to make it in time. The human had been too close.

“NO!” I roared. I reached Esme just as she was sinking her teeth into a human’s neck. A bloodcurdling scream burst from his mouth. It felt like it went on forever, but in reality it had stopped within two seconds of her bite. I dropped to my knees, holding my breath, trying not to smell the spilt blood. Carlisle reached us then.

“Esme, no!” he yelled out in anguish. Pressing his hands to his head. This is my fault! I didn’t check the woods first. All my fault! What have I done?

But Esme didn’t look up. I could hear her thoughts, incoherent with bloodlust. She drained the human dry as we watched, dumbfounded. She dropped the lifeless corpse and stood up, sniffing at the air, trying to find another trail. I was too shocked to breathe, but as her thoughts gained lucidity, I could tell that there was no other human’s blood in the air. This human had been alone.

She looked toward us, the confusion in her eyes changing to terror as she followed our gaze downward.

“Oh!” she yelped, jumping back and covering her eyes. “What have I done? I didn’t know what was happening! It was so fast! I couldn’t stop!” she wailed into her trembling hands. She fell to the ground; her entire body quaking with tearless sobs.

Carlisle darted to her side, pulling her head into his chest. “It was my fault, Esme. I didn’t check the forest before we left the house… it’s all my fault. I don’t know why I didn’t think to check first! I always checked for Edward…” His mind was churning with worry. I need to protect my family… who was he?... WHY was he on our farm? What should I do with the body?... Poor Esme! What will this do to her?... And to Edward?…

I don’t know why I was so shocked. After all, this is what we were supposed to be… what we were meant to do. But I was shocked… and for two very different reasons. The majority of my brain was disgusted by the sight that lie before me, but there was a another part, the monster in me, that snarled and growled in jealousy that I hadn’t been the one to drink from the human.

I hated this! This was not supposed to be my life! If I hadn’t gotten sick, I wouldn’t be here! The war was over. I would be at a university, or working, or possibly even married! I would be living a natural human existence, not sitting here in the woods in my perpetually seventeen-year-old body thinking about drinking human blood!

Wait, wait, wait. I shook my head, trying to clear it. I couldn’t do this, not now. I had to help my family. My hands shook with the effort it took to push both the growling, bloodthirsty monster and my own self-loathing back down into the depths of my vast vampiric mind.

Only half a second had passed since Carlisle had reached Esme’s side.

“Carlisle, we have to get rid of the body. What should we do? Bury it?” I had used all of the breath in my lungs. I would have to breathe in again if I wanted to speak.

“Esme, it’s all right, it’s all right. It’s my fault. I’m so sorry. Come on, let’s get you back to the house. Edward and I will take care of everything.” I watched as he picked her up gently in his arms and carried her into the house. She was shaking from head to foot, her thoughts filled with grief for what she had just done.

When Carlisle was in the house, I took the opportunity to breathe. I watched the body on the ground as I inhaled. There was very little blood after Esme’s attack, but there was enough left at the wound site on his neck to set my throat aflame. I repressed the evil thoughts of how delicious human blood smelled compared to that of animals as I searched, as respectfully as possible, through the man’s clothing.

I came across nothing but a small hunting knife. Perhaps he was a wanderer? His clothing was tattered and dirty, and his hair and beard were unkempt. He had a few scars on his face and arms.

Without my permission, my mind began to rationalize his death. I hated myself for thinking it, but what if he had been alone in this life? At least then he wouldn’t have had a family that would mourn for him. Or perhaps he had been a convict… on the run after escaping from prison? The state of his clothing and his scars steered my mind to this possibility. If he were a bad person, then maybe Esme had done the world a good deed?

Carlisle returned after a few minutes; his mind focused on what to do with the body.

“How is Esme?”

He shook his head. “Very distraught. I can’t believe I was so irresponsible! I was able to settle her down a little, but she is very upset with herself. Is that a knife? Did you find that in his clothing?”

I nodded, handing it to him. He examined it, looking for a name or some other indicator of who the man was, but found nothing.

“That was all I found,” I said.

“The poor man. I hope he didn’t suffer,” Carlisle whispered, bowing his head. Though he knew from the man’s scream as Esme sunk her teeth into his neck that he had. He tried to push the memory from his mind and focus on the task at hand. He picked the man up gingerly in his arms.

“We should go a little further into the woods to bury him,” he said, indicating the direction we should head.

We walked into the center of the forest on our property when Carlisle stopped and placed the body on the ground.

“Edward, would you help me dig? I’d like to go down about twelve feet. That should take care of it.”

I ripped a large wedge of grass out of the ground and set it aside. We dug into the earth with our bare hands, reaching Carlisle’s goal of twelve feet in under a minute. I sprang out of the hole and gently lowered the unnamed man to Carlisle. We covered his body and flattened the earth over him. I replaced the grass, and to human eyes it would appear as if the ground had never been disturbed.

I said a silent prayer for the man’s soul before we headed back to the house. Whether he were a good person or not, he was human, and still had the possibility of going to heaven. Unlike myself.

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