Sometimes love just can't be denied - no matter how untimely it hits us. Sparks fly between Edward and Bella the very first time they meet; problem is that Bella is already committed to another. See how the two of them deal with their unspoken attraction and how a tragedy could bring them closer together or push them further apart.
This story is being worked on by both myself and AnahyR whose ideas are the basis for all chapters. We hope you enjoy it and would love to hear your opinions through your comments. AnahyR will also be doing this story in Spanish so for those of you who are Spanish speaking you will also have access to this at some stage. I will put the link here once it is done.
Previous stories of mine you might be interested in:
The Heart is a Bloom: Is fame worth it? A different take on the characters of Twilight and how they met. Edward is a famous musician who has a past demon that is about to catch up with him. Unfortunately it is just as he has met the woman of his dreams.
No Choice: Edward returns to Forks to fight for a hurt and angry Bella. Not such an easy thing to do in this story. This is set after the Cullens have been away for quite a few months but before Bella makes the decision to cliff dive.
Thanks to Sasha for this gorgeous banner - We can't thank you enough.
And thanks to Manda for this one too!! Love it.
EPOV - Accusations
Everywhere around me, softness.
Soft skin to tantalise my fingertips.
Soft hair to run my hands through.
Soft lips to meld with mine.
Soft whimpers to tell me that Bella wanted this; wanted me and then ………withdrawal.
Interruptions seemed to be inevitable any time the two of us got closer together. I made one last ditch effort to make her ignore the banging on the door, already knowing that she would not heed my plea. We quickly straightened up and headed to the door and as I walked, and my mind was no longer reduced to mindless lust only, I began to get concerned about who would be banging on Bella’s door at this time of the evening.
Bella’s reaction when she peered through the peephole did nothing to calm my uneasiness. Her face paled and she looked like she wanted to throw up. She didn’t answer me when I asked her who it was and what was wrong and I very nearly threw myself at her to stop her from answering it whilst I demanded not to open the door. I was too late. The door opened and the reason behind Bella’s horror stricken look was revealed.
“I knew it. It wasn’t a lie. What the hell do you think you are doing Bella? How could you?” Rick Woods stood gaping at both Bella and I and his face had turned a horrible purple colour that showed his absolute anger in finding Bella with another man.
“I……um…..I’m not sure……. ah……..” Bella stammered and I watched with trepidation as she shrank in on herself once again. Her transformation in the past few months had been slow but it had been working; she had become stronger within herself and she had begun to flower in other ways as well. Rick’s visit had reduced her to that guilt ridden and grief stricken woman we had all been fighting to help her overcome. All within five seconds of her opening the door.
No. No. No. He could not do this to her.
I had halted my movement towards her when I realized who was at the door but now I continued it so that I stood beside Bella, without touching her. I dared not make anything worse by taking her hand in mine or placing a supportive arm around her shoulder to show her she wasn’t alone. Such actions would not go down well with either of them but it was impossible for me not to give her some sort of encouragement regardless. I stood straight and ready for whatever Rick threw at me because I was not going to let him destroy her with his own grief.
“Hello Rick. Is there something we can help you with?” I held my hand out to offer him our normal greeting of a handshake but he violently flicked it aside and strode past the two of us into the lounge area. Bella gasped and gave me a heavy look of appeal; whether she was begging me to stay out of it or help her I was unsure. She followed Rick’s path into the lounge room where Rick was wildly gesticulating; his words directed at me.
“We can not help me at all Edward.” He emphasized the ‘we’ in his sentence. “ In fact your presence here is making me sick to my stomach. What I want is for Bella to explain to me how she can care so little about my son that she now has someone else sharing her bed.”
“Just wait one moment. You have no right to come in here and accuse Bella of …….”
“No right,” Rick bellowed, his face becoming even more distorted in his anger. “Peter has been gone for mere months and Bella, who professed to have loved him and was willing to share the rest of her life with him has already chosen to have someone else warm her bed. Don’t tell me I have no right to be angry about that.”
The movement of Bella sinking into the sofa caught my eye and was the only thing that stopped me from tearing into Rick Woods at that moment. Her hands were covering her face and she looked entirely wretched. His words had hit their mark. She wasn’t going to defend herself at all. We had just taken ten steps backwards and I knew it would take a lot of work to get her back to the point we had been at this evening; a carefree Bella who was finally seeing that she had the right to be happy. My yelling at Rick would only make things worse for her and it was not something I was willing to do to her in this fragile state.
“Rick I think we need to calm down here. Bella hasn’t done anything wrong and I think if you took the time to think about it you would know that.”
“How about you shut your mouth Cullen and let Bella speak for herself.” I forced myself to keep my lips tightly clamped so that I didn’t lash out at him in retaliation. Rick Woods was hurting too and I was going to have to be the better man in this scenario if we were all going to come out of it with any kind of understanding and pride intact.
But that didn’t mean I would sit here and allow him to throw insults at the woman I loved.
“Bella. Did you ever love my son?” Rick’s voice had lowered and he was watching for Bella’s response with pleading eyes. Bella’s head came up instantly and I saw a glimpse of fire behind those eyes of hers.
Oh thank god.
“Of course I did. How can you even ask that? Peter was my best friend. The love I have for him did not just stop because he died, Rick.”
A slight shudder went through Rick as he listened to her entreaty and for a moment I thought he was wavering in his reasons for being here tonight and then he took another look at me and all the ire came back into his face.
“So even though you profess to love him you’ve still made the decision to be with someone else, is that it?” Rick’s words made me grip the back of the sofa with fidgety hands. How could Bella answer this question honestly when it was something we had been skirting around for weeks or months even? Bella spared me a quick glance and then averted her eyes into her lap.
“Please Rick. I loved Peter.”
“Not enough to mourn him properly apparently,” Rick stated with derision.
“I have been mourning him. I think about him every single day. I miss him every single day. I hurt every single day.”
And I was trying so hard to help her through it.
“But you still think that it’s okay to have a relationship with Edward; to sleep with him and let him make you forget about my son.”
Soft sobs were now coming from Bella’s mouth and I had had enough. He was hurting her with every word he uttered in her direction and it was beyond unfair. I struggled to rein in my absolute fury at Rick and made my next words come out with as much calm conviction as possible.
“That’s enough! Bella and my relationship is none of your business Rick but I will tell you this; we’re not sleeping together and the accusations you are throwing at the girl you’ve always professed to love as a daughter are beyond detestable. Bella has never once done anything to indicate to those of us around her that she has forgotten Peter or is trying to replace him. You owe her an apology.”
Could a man’s face get any redder than this? “I will apologize when Bella can look me in the face and tell me that nothing is going on between the two of you.”
Bella didn’t budge and she kept her eyes down as if she couldn’t bear to see the disappointment and despair on Peter’s dads face. I needed to go to her; every nerve ending in my body was calling out to ease her pain but I was stuck in place by the furious man whose grief had made him irrational.
“You can’t, can you Bella? Don’t think I haven’t noticed how much time you two spend together and the way Edward is always ensuring you’re looked after. There’s more going on here than you’re willing to admit because you know what you’re doing is wrong.”
Bella was shaking with suppressed sobs now and I quickly placed myself between the two of them to stop his attention from being entirely on her. He would not do this to her. I would not allow it.
“I didn’t realize it was a crime to care about your friends Rick. All of us have been trying to help get Bella through this hard time.”
Rick’s red eyes narrowed in on me and it was apparent that he knew what I was doing; trying to deflect him from Bella. “It’s your manner of helping her that is in question here Edward. I’ve been around for years and I know the look of two people who have just been caught in the act. You two had that written all over yourselves when you answered the door tonight.”
My mind was starting to reel with the effort of staying calm and not just kicking him out of the apartment altogether. I had nothing I could say back to him because he wasn’t too far from the truth. If he hadn‘t interrupted, Bella and I would most probably be sharing a whole different experience right now. Bella stiffened in the chair behind me but Rick’s fury was now completely on me so he didn’t notice her guilty reaction.
“I repeat Rick, that Bella and I are friends and we are all trying to help her heal. If you cared at all for her you would not be doing this to her. Please leave her alone. Can’t you see what you’re doing?” I stepped aside slightly so that he could see how she had made herself as small as possible on the chair. Rick was not generally a bad person and his grief was all that was propelling him forwards with his need to hurt and get answers. Surely if he could see the damage he was doing to Bella he would stop. I really needed him to stop before I did something I would regret.
“Bella. All you have to do is tell me that James was lying and that nothing is going on between you and Edward.” Rick’s voice had taken on a hysterical edge and it fully matched my own thoughts as I realized the culprit behind these allegations. Rick had been fed lies from James and unfortunately they paralleled too closely with the half truths that were now being spoken.
Red rimmed, wide eyes now looked up at us both showing the depths of her pain. “I….I can’t…….. I’m so sorry……..” Her stuttering appeal hit me hard and before I knew what she was doing she was fleeing from the room as if some distance between us all would help her raging hurt and guilt. Rick took steps to go after her and I grabbed him by the shirt to pull him back towards me. We found ourselves chin to chin, both edgy in our anger and neither one of us willing to back down.
“You need to back off. She can’t handle any more of this.” I snarled at him, completely incensed that he could have treated Bella so carelessly and hurtfully. His fists clenched tighter as he raised them to push me away but I was having nothing of it; he needed to understand that I would not let him hurt Bella any more.
“Edward, let go of him,” A small voice of reason clashed with my internal musings and I turned my head a little to see the source of it. Alice stood beside Jasper at the doorway looking completely confused as to what was going on. “Both of you let go of each other.”
“What on earth are you thinking Edward? Rick are you okay?” Jasper asked as he stepped further into the room and made his way over to us. I pushed Rick away from me none to gently and he quickly gathered his wits about him to cast a scathing look my way.
“I’m stopping him from hurting Bella anymore than he already has tonight.” I answered and everyone froze with my words.
“What? How could Rick possibly hurt Bella? He loves her Edward. You must have misunderstood.” Alice appealed as she looked between the two of us, still glaring at one another.
“James has been spouting off lies about Bella and me and Rick thought it was a good idea to come over here and find out for himself what is going on. Instead of being adult about it he came in with blazing guns, accusing Bella of not loving Peter and trying to replace him with me by us sleeping together,” My breath was coming in agitated gasps now as I continued to try and control how angry I was that Bella was forced to escape and be somewhere on her own hurting. “….and we all know that accusing Bella of not loving Peter is a ridiculous statement.”
“James? You believed James?” Alice challenged Rick as she drew closer. “The same James that Peter had requested not come to his wedding because he found out that James had been inappropriately hassling Bella? The same James that continuously suggests to Bella that she should be with him and tried to take advantage of the times when Bella’s grief lead her to do things she wouldn’t normally do?”
“What? No way,” Rick held up his hands to ward off the words Alice was speaking. “James said that Peter had found out that Edward and Bella were sleeping together and had asked for Edward not to be at the wedding. He said that Bella and Edward had been together ever since and that if I came here tonight I would get my proof.”
“And you actually thought that Bella would do that? Cheat on Peter when she was about to marry him?” Alice was now incredulous. “You’ve known her for years Rick. You know what kind of person she is. You know that she is not capable of hurting someone else like that. How could you even start to think it could be true?”
“I…….he said……..” Rick shook his head violently to try and clear his thoughts.
“James is a moron who is obsessed with making Bella’s life difficult. You’ve just achieved his goal for him,” I wanted to be patient but my quota had all been used up. This man was meant to know Bella and he had fallen for the lies regardless. “Alice, I really think one of us needs to be with Bella. She’s incredibly distraught.” I wanted to be the one to go to her but that would have given Rick more ammunition to hurt Bella with, so I held back.
Alice gave one last disheartened look at Rick and silently left the room to be with her sister. Jasper and I stood before Rick not knowing how to proceed with this discussion.
“How could you condone this?” Rick suddenly threw at Jasper and we both startled with the shock of how the attention had moved from me to him. “Peter was your best friend. How could you have allowed Peter’s memory to be so tarnished with what’s going on here?”
Jasper took a deep breath and exhaled to calm himself. “Look Rick. I know you are going through the worst kind of hurt there is. Losing your son is not something anyone should have to experience. We all loved Peter and we all miss him but throwing accusations around like this is not helping. In fact it is going to do so much harm, you can’t even imagine. Yes Peter was my best friend. I would have done anything for him and I know that one of the things he would have been counting on was that I helped Bella heal and move on with her life. That is exactly what I am doing; that is what we are all doing. Edward is not the enemy here.”
“He’s the one enjoying my son’s life while my son lies in a grave,” Rick spat and his ferocity hit me with its force. “He gets to spend time with the woman that my son loved. How is that in anyway fair? You tell me Jasper because I would love to know.”
It wasn’t fair. Nothing about this was fair. It wasn’t fair that Peter had lost his life. It wasn’t fair that I had fallen in love with a girl who would always have the ghost of Peter riding on her shoulder. It wasn’t fair that if anything was to happen between myself and Bella it would hurt other people that we cared about. No, fairness was nowhere in sight.
“You know I can’t answer that Rick. All I can say is that everyone is doing the best that they can.”
“Just like the two of you did the best that you could to save my son? It’s pretty convenient that Edward obviously has a thing for Bella and then you too couldn’t manage to save Peter. Get Peter out of the way and you’re home and hosed. Perfect.”
“Rick!” A gasp from across the room immediately echoed around us. Grace Woods stood there frozen in tortured stillness with her hands up covering her mouth. Alice stood next to her and her face was a picture of fury that I had never seen before. Turning back I saw Jasper’s ashen face and knew that he had taken Rick’s words to heart. Rick had no idea how this very thing was what haunted Jasper all the time; that much of his counseling sessions revolved around the fact that we could not save Peter from dying. I had often joined those particular sessions because in all honesty I felt the same way. I would never forgive myself for letting Peter down and not being able to help him that day. I still recalled the whole incident with deep clarity during my unsettled dreams at night.
“How dare you,” Alice seethed with suppressed emotion as she hurtled towards Rick. “Jasper and Edward did everything possible to save Peter. They hurt themselves in the process and they have had to have counseling to help them through the emotional aspects of what happened. You can’t come in here and tell them that they didn’t try.”
“Well at least they are here to have some kind of counseling. Peter didn’t get that choice.”
The loud sound of Alice’s hand connecting with Rick’s face rattled through the air. “Get out of my home Rick Woods. I don’t care how badly you are hurting, you don’t get to do this to any of us. Get out!”
Jasper quickly grabbed Alice around her waist to pull her back from laying another slap to Rick’s face and dragged her, panting with ire, out of the lounge area, whispering words to try and calm her down. That left me alone with Rick and Grace.
“Oh Rick, what have you done?” Grace asked as she wrung her hands together in defeat. “I’m so sorry Edward. I can only imagine what has happened here tonight. As soon as I realized that he was gone I came over but obviously too late. James had way too much to say at dinner tonight and Rick reacted before I had time to talk to him calmly about it.”
“You shouldn’t be apologizing for me Grace…..”
Grace cut him off. “No I shouldn’t have to Rick but apparently I do. How could you have done this Rick? Haven’t you seen that Bella is finally healing a little bit each day? Don’t you know her well enough to know that she will never do anything to hurt the memory of our son? Don’t you believe she deserves some kind of happiness?”
“Peter doesn’t get any of that,” Dejectedness laced his words. I couldn’t look away even though the grief was so potent and discernible within his whole demeanor.
“Peter’s gone, Rick. We’ve lost one member of our family. Are we willing to lose Bella too because you chose to believe something she is not capable of? That you’re not willing to let her live because Peter didn’t?” Grace spoke softly to her husband but he didn’t have any come back to her question, although his shoulders slumped and he started to rub his eyes. He cast me an unreadable look and headed towards the front door. She sighed and returned her attention to me. “Edward, I don’t know what is going on between you and Bella now but I do know that she would never have cheated on Peter. I also know that Esme and Carlisle would never have raised a son who would do that either. If you are the one to help Bella have some happiness in this life than I want you to do that. Peter would have wanted that too, I know. My husband is not himself right now and I really hope that after a little bit of time that you find it in your heart to forgive him and realize that it was the grief speaking, not actually what he believes.”
“Thank you Grace,” I spoke, completely humbled by her belief and support. I wondered briefly how someone who had experienced the biggest loss of their life could still have room to be forgiving and giving. She nodded at me and went to follow her husband out before stopping.
“Please let Bella know that I am sincerely sorry and that I will speak to her in a few days when everything has calmed down a little. I can’t imagine she wants me barging in there now to talk. Tell her I love her and that I believe in her.”
“I will,” I agreed and one last thought assaulted my mind and before I was willing to let them leave I had to voice it.
“Grace. I need to know that James will stop harassing Bella otherwise I am going to have to do something and quite frankly I am sure that is not a good idea.”
A sad smile lifted Grace’s mouth. “I’ll sort it out Edward. James won’t bug Bella again, I can guarantee it.”
“ And Grace. Jasper and I…….we did everything we could to get Peter out. We didn’t just give up on him. I hope you know that.”
“I never doubted it for a minute.” and then she was gone.
Bella was sitting up against the headboard of her bed when I finally got to go in and check on her, staring listlessly into space. I wasn’t sure how to approach her. This night had not ended in the manner that I had wanted for her. She had lost the happiness that had been radiating through her only a couple of hours ago and my greatest fear was that she would now turn away from me in grief again.
“Grace turned up.” I sat gingerly on the bed but she refused to look my way.
“I heard her,”
“So you heard that she sends her love and will talk to you soon.”
All I got in response was a nod of her head.
“And she wanted me to tell you that she believes in you.”
“Well that’s not something I deserve, is it?” Bella muttered and my heart sank. I was going to lose her I could feel it.
“Bella, everything he said was wrong. You know that. You would never have cheated on Peter and we all know that you have been mourning his death. You and I have not been sleeping together. He was hurting and he took it out on you because he misses his son. That’s all.”
“I don’t blame him Edward. Rick had every right to be angry with me. I haven’t done the right thing by his son and we all know it.”
“That’s not true.”
“Yes it is. I should have known that I didn’t deserve to be happy when Rick and Grace are still grieving their loss. I should never have thought it was okay to get closer to you when I should still be mourning.”
“Please don’t do this Bella. We have done nothing wrong. Peter wanted you to be happy.”
Suddenly Bella turned her eyes on me and the depths of her anguish spilled from them so that I almost had to look away. “We would have had sex tonight Edward. If he hadn’t turned up we would have taken that step and it would have been so wrong. I don’t know what I was thinking.”
The twist to my gut was lethal as she spoke those words to me and looked at me with such reproach. I had never wanted to see her soul so tortured ever again and here we were, with it happening all over again. This was my fault for believing that we could move forward when she obviously was not ready for it. I had believed I could make her happy; that by taking my time and being patient I would get her to see that we could have a future together. I was wrong. I reached out to her and she flinched which just confirmed what I already knew. I was going to have to let her go so that she could regain what she had lost tonight with Rick’s accusations.
“You regret what happened between us tonight?” Anger was seeping into my tone because it was already evident how this was all going to end and I wasn’t ready for that. “You don’t want me around anymore?”
“I…..no….yes. Oh god Edward I have no idea how to feel. All I know is that what we are doing is hurting others and I can’t be responsible for that. I think it might be better if we cool it down a bit. You shouldn’t have to deal with aggression and attacks because you choose to help me.” Tears were swimming in her eyes now as she looked at me imploringly.
“Do you think that all I am doing here is trying to help Bella? Are you serious? Do you not understand how much I care about you? I would take anyone’s aggression a million times over if it meant I could see you be happy. I want…..no I need you to be happy.”
Pain, always pain behind the smile as Bella agreed with me. “I know and you keep giving and giving and I keep taking and taking and I don’t think I can do that anymore. I’ve been selfish. You need to find someone who is not broken; there is always going to be a reason for me not to be happy. You deserve better than that. I can’t just ignore what Rick said tonight because some of it was true and that’s not the person I am. I’m sorry Edward. No matter how much I want it, I just can’t be the woman you want me to be.”
Red, hot, blinding anger coursed through my body and I gripped the bed beside me so that I could relieve myself of it before I spoke again.
“You already are; you just choose not to see it.” I whispered with regret and Bella’s face indicated that she was fighting to retain her own composure. I was going to have to be harsh in order for this to be sorted one way or another and my mind was trying to resist me saying the words. “But I get it now and you’re right; I do deserve more than a half hearted relationship with a girl who feels guilty every time she gets closer to me and is willing to believe the first person who comes along to tell her that what she has with me is wrong. I’ll give you what you’re asking for Bella.”
I stood up from the bed and forced myself to move away from her because right now all I wanted to do was take her in my arms and tell her that I was lying; that I would never just turn my back on her and walk away. But this is what she had requested and Rick’s confrontation had sealed our fate; she didn’t believe in us at all and I could no longer bear the thought that that would always be the way it was. She had to move ahead without me as her crutch so that she would eventually be willing to give herself freely to whoever she chose. Time and space was the only way that could happen.
“So friendship it is Bella but no more of the extras. When it comes to me you won’t ever have to feel guilty again.”
Or torn and conflicted.
Or in pain.
Bella’s face contorted into a grotesque mask of distress as she took in my words. Her mouth opened and closed silently and I pleaded in my mind for her to say something that would make me take back what I had said so that we could give it another try but it never happened. She shut her eyes against the pain and then reopened them to show me a blank expression. My fingers found my hair and tugged at it to remind me that my body needed to move; that I needed to get out of here quickly before she would see my traitorous tears that I could feel coming at any moment for her unwillingness to fight. When I was almost at the door I turned back to see her fiddling with the hem of her shirt and decided she needed to know one last thing.
“Bella, you might believe that what happened tonight was purely about attraction and that it would have led to sex but it would have been so much more to me than that. I would have given you my everything.”
Without acknowledging her reaction to my words I strode out of her bedroom and down the hallway to try and escape. Alice and Jasper were waiting in the lounge area and without breaking my stride I muttered the words that I knew would break my heart once and for all.
“She needs you Alice. I can’t be that for her anymore.”
And I left in a swirl of emotions that threatened to bring me down to the lowest point of my life.
But I like this.
Hope you get to update this soon.
Thanks for your support even when it is sad.
Sorry about the tears but thanks for letting the story mean that much to you! It is very sad for everyone but kind of to be expected that there would be so many emotions floating around after the death of someone we love. James is despicable and has used Rick's obvious grief to get back at Bella and Edward. He is a coward and this was his way of doing it rather than dealing with an irate Edward or Emmett.
Hopefully this is a wake up call for Bella and she will see that Edward means so much more to her and she can't let him go. We will have to see.
Thanks again for reading
I am a little surprised Peter's dad would show up at all. Months since Peter's death and not seeing Bella for practically the entire time so he had no idea of the grieving she had done or seen the healing that had been taking place. Also to accuse Edward and Jasper of not really trying to save his son when he should have known from the accident reports that he was pinned in the car--or what it took to finally extricate his body. I half expected either Edward or Jasper to inform Rick that Edward was following Peter's last request in looking after Bella and making her happy.
Everyone grieves differently though, so maybe Peter's dad didn't really care or love Bella at all or he would have found comfort in her taking baby steps into moving forward with her own life. His reaction was selfish. He lost a son, but still had the love of his life beside him. Bella had lost her entire future. And at such a young age that it wouldn't be fair for Rick to expect her to never find a new future.
Also I am surprised he would be so willing to believe the spin James put on Edward and Bella's relationship. He has known them both for such a long time, I'd have thought he would have understood that James was bitter about something and had a grudge. Hopefully Peter's mother will put things right for Bella and she'll have the courage to mend this broken fence before Edward takes off to Paris.
Talk about throwing a monkey wrench into things. I sure hope James didn't do all this to get Edward out of the way so he can force himself on Bella without Edward's protection!
I'll be gnawing my fingernails off waiting to get this mess straightened out!!!
Thanks again Michelle :()
Bella is very close to the Woods so has seen them alot over the course of the months since Peter's death but I realise I haven't really shown that in my writing. At the christmas party there was some indication that Rick wasn't dealing very well and that he had his eye on Bella and Edward. Everything he said was grief talking and his inability to see that the others were moving on - not nice but I have actually seen it happen myself. I have to admit that I almost had Jasper blurt out that Peter's last wish was for Edward to look after Bella but I have kept it for a different reason. Rick definitely cares for Bella and will feel very badly about what he did when he is forced to look at his actions by his wife. Grace will definitely be the voice of reason because she is more than aware how hard this all is for Bella and wants her to have a happy life.
Rick believing James was a case of him finding an outlet for his emotions and not actually thinking about it. He is mad with the world and then James tells him that there has been something going on between Bella and Edward and rather than go ' I know these two, I know they are not capable of it' he lashed out without putting any thought into it. Bad reaction I know!
James will not be a nuisance anymore now that Grace and Rick are aware of what he has been doing.
Edward's our concern now - I think he has been pushed to his limits.
Thanks for reading
So so so sad. And now, I hate Rick, well, I know he is suffering and sad and everything, but... If you know one person for that much amount of time, you just don't believe that they could be a bad person. And... I can't even tell you how badly I wish that Edward and Bella would be together again, but... not as friends, as lovers.
As always, can't wait to read more,