The Twilight Saga

Maybe it is all my fault (Please read)

Hello everyone first off I have no Idea why I am writing this...maybe im confused or maybe I just want others opinions maybe I just dont care anymore or maybe im completely hopeless...I'll let u decided

 

 Well I guess I should go ahead and start writing what I came her to write well her we go....

 Once upon a time there was a little girl she loved her mom and her family and she had big dreams. She wanted to be a princess like all the other little girls and her fav animal was elephants. She loved to learn but she never had many friends.This little girl was 10. She was in the 5th grade. Many would think well whats so bad about the 5th grade? The wouldnt know that that is where this little girls problems began. The little girl had a secret a secret she would never tell a secret that she will never be proud of. This little girl was quiet and only had 1 friend she wanted to belong so bad but never did. She wanted to be liked but she wasnt and eventually she lost the one friend she thought she had. This little girl was made fun of and was in a lot of physical fights, She tried to hide her pain and that wasn't good. Soon she found out about sex now keep in mine shes only 10. This little girl was a virgin of course but she couldnt help but wonder.....

 This little girl is in 6th grade now she is 11. Her body is developing and the boys notice. She like the attention but still she is a virgin.She starts to have boyfriends though shes not supposed to and her mom would be mad....she doesnt care. She gets her old friend back and is staying over her house for the weekend this little girl sleeps with her friends older brother. She goes to school and everyone knows this little girl is called a h**. She cries in the bathroom when no ones around she wont  let them see her she wont make a sound.

 She is now 12 and in the 7th grade she still has her secrets that hasn't changed. Shes gotten her period and has bigger boobs. She changes her attitude she not so quiet but she still crys. She watches porn and curses she steals and she has experimented with drugs.She feels bad and guilty so she stops most of it but not much changes. She gets suspended for the first time for defending a friend in a fight she doesnt care she feels she was right. This little girl has problems at home she and her mom fight. Her mom doesnt like that her grades are slipping and she doesnt listen. Shes sad that the girl she once knew is missing.

 The girl is now 13 and her secrets are getting even bigger.She cuts and is always sad theres not one day that she isnt mad. She hates her life and her mom and sister. She hates her father cuz he isnt with her. She and her mom fight even more now . The girls is sad but here is why she has decided she doesnt only like guys. Yes she likes girls too and shes scared will people still love her will they hate her now? She tells no one at first and keep it to herself until she meet a girl named Autumn. Autumn treats the girl like a sister and the girl loves Autumn more than anyone else. She tells Autumn everything and Autumn doesnt run away. The girl finds happiness in Autumn and she stops cutting ...for a while. Then one day she and Autumn get in a fight the girl says something Autumn didnt like. Now Autumn wont talk to her and she cuts again the girl heat hurts she has no one else. The girl gets a girlfriend and she things shes in love it is long distance but she doesnt care. Her mom finds out and she is mad. She yells at the girl and says mean things the girls wants to die she hates herself.

 The girls is me and I am broken I cant tell my secrets they are left unspoken. This is not my full story some things I wont say. But maybe you'll learn some other day. I like the color black and hate the color pink. I hate when people lie to me. I cry everyday Im crying right now. I cant tell you everything I should tell you this after all it is personal business. I fight with my mom and I dont have friends. The ones I thought I did I cannot trust. So I am alone. Everyone always finds something wrong with me but they never find faults in themselves. So its all my fault im stupid im ugly. I bring everything on myself. I just want to be happy but im not and its because of the secrets Ive got. I want to tell you but im scared what will happen so I wont. This is one of the things me and my mom fight about  she hates I wont talk to her but I'll talk to a stranger. But I dont trust her and I feel better talking to someone I wont every see because then I wont have to look at their face. Im comfortable writing this and its not really much ive been through a lot and this doesnt even cover.My dad isnt around hes to busy with his new girlfriend and her kids. I havent seen 6 out of 7 of my siblings in 4 or more years and 3 ive never met. So this is the end tell me what you think.

And to all of my readers im so very sorry that I havent been updating stories in like months but as you can see im going through stuff. And maybe you may not think my problems are big but they're big to me.

Views: 15

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Takyra on May 14, 2011 at 8:18pm
i know how you feel. i never went through that but my dad mulasted me. i was in depression but my mom never notice. i dont trust the men that are close to me because of my dad. i do have friends but sometimes i feel like im lonely and no one understands me or trys to understand me. but now you have a friend i dont care wat happen to you i will still be here. though i dont know you it seems like your one of my best friends already. i dnt care if ur bi im not going to judge you on that. i am going to pray for you. if u ever want to talk just add me as a friend on the twilight saga page.
Permalink Reply by Lex on May 14, 2011 at 9:44pm

I dont know you but I think you are braver them you think I tried doing this once to just get some stuff out by posting it but i could never admit to myself nevermind anyone else that I had a problem. I get the part about parents who dont understand gayness or bi ppl I keep a secret for my brother because he's scared our dad will kick him out for being bi. I keep a lot of secrets for a lot of ppl. Ones i never even want to hear some that kill me to keep. It becomes too much and You should be proud your strong enough to talk about it even just a little bit.

Permalink Reply by Mrs.SarahRoseMellark on May 15, 2011 at 12:07am
Wow...... You're are so much more brave than anyone I've ever met. I'm sorry that you've had to go through all of this. If you ever need anyone to talk to, you can message me. I might not answer right away, but eventually I will (I'm not always on here but I get on at least every other day). Stay strong(:
Permalink Reply by Dakota on May 15, 2011 at 12:11am
I know what its like. I am depressed, i cut my self and my mom hasnt noticed, i put on my happy face and cry inside. Im gonna be there for you. bi or not, it really doesnt matter to me. you are great and you have people who care. ill cuss with you. i would sneak out with you. i feel like we should know each other. plz dont go away, you rock. girly you are so awesome,
Permalink Reply by MRS TWILIGHT on May 15, 2011 at 12:14am
Aww thank you everyone I really appreciate it Love you all. And Dakota dear I no im on to talk but you shouldnt cut trust me its a hard habit to break and I wish I never started but I love you and I miss talking to you
Permalink Reply by Dakota on May 15, 2011 at 12:17am
i know how hard it is to break, long time going, just found out my friend has for over a year, just like me. it seems the people you were ment to know r just like you know i have you and my friend emy and cat
Permalink Reply by MRS TWILIGHT on May 15, 2011 at 12:35am
Silly rabbit..time for bed
Permalink Reply by Kala alice culen on May 15, 2011 at 1:03am

your the stronest person ive evere  met i only had one friend who under stod my problums and then she was sort of taken from me she listend to me and we had ben best frinds sence kindere garden it was me hevre and this guy tell 2 grade then he moved then in 6th grade she was verey popular and i just got pushed a way my gardes droped and we tryed be ing bestes agen but its hard shes canged ur brave for posting but u got some relise from it evan if it wasent enoghf actuly as soon as my grades droped my mom blamed it on to much twilight readin and i wasent going any warere alot on weekend and i will stay up  tell 6 in the morning then sleep for 10 mins and get redy for school no the problome ur problems are biger and some one needs to now what ur going throug ps sory its so long

Permalink Reply by MRS TWILIGHT on May 15, 2011 at 1:16am
its cool and I know exactly what you mean about you mom blaming Twilight cuz my mom did to
Permalink Reply by Kala alice culen on May 15, 2011 at 2:53am
its wered cuz relly how do u blame a sireis pluse my littel sis rated me out for dinkig monster i mean come on its monter how can u get grownded  for that at least i have my laptop i mean its a seris come on
Permalink Reply by Dakota on May 17, 2011 at 7:12am
my moms done before, we were on vaca and kept reading in the top bunk un me and my bros room. The only time i could read was the four hour plane ride home the drive to where we were going and the drive to get back and the plane to vacation.
Permalink Reply by MRS TWILIGHT on May 15, 2011 at 2:19pm
I totally understand about the emo thing I dont consider myself emo now but I used to I mean I very well could be but im not. And people yell at me about my arms to and my teacher even grabbed my arm during class and like made a scene about it. I was mortified I wanted to keep my scars to myself and she put them on display

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