Moira Wry ~ PG-13 *Complete* Chapters 1 - 30
What if Edward was unable to control the monster in him? What if he did attack Bella that first day? What would that mean for Bella, Edward and their future? This fan-fic takes over after the first chapter of Twilight, First Sight.
Disclaimer. ** All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer **
WARNING: **There is direct text from Stephenie Meyers Twilight Saga**
*It is not my intention to steal anything from Stephenie Meyer*
**Please forgive the grammatical errors**
Chapter 1: First Sight (a refresher of the last few paragraphs)The final bell rang at last. I walked slowly to the office to return my
paperwork. The rain had drifted away, but the wind was strong, and
colder. I wrapped my arms around myself.
When I walked into the warm office, I almost turned around and walked
Edward Cullen stood at the desk in front of me. I recognized again that
tousled bronze hair. He didn't appear to notice the sound of my entrance.
I stood pressed against the back wall, waiting for the receptionist to be
He was arguing with her in a low, attractive voice. I quickly picked up
the gist of the argument. He was trying to trade from sixth-hour Biology
to another time — any other time.
I just couldn't believe that this was about me. It had to be something
else, something that happened before I entered the Biology room. The look
on his face must have been about another aggravation entirely. It was
impossible that this stranger could take such a sudden, intense dislike
The door opened again, and the cold wind suddenly gusted through the
room, rustling the papers on the desk, swirling my hair around my face.
The girl who came in merely stepped to the desk, placed a note in the
wire basket, and walked out again. But Edward Cullen's back stiffened,
and he turned slowly to glare at me — his face was absurdly handsome —
with piercing, hate-filled eyes. For an instant, I felt a thrill of
genuine fear, raising the hair on my arms. The look only lasted a second,
but it chilled me more than the freezing wind. He turned back to the
"Never mind, then," he said hastily in a voice like velvet. "I can see
that it's impossible. Thank you so much for your help." And he turned on
his heel without another look at me, and disappeared out the door.
I went meekly to the desk, my face white for once instead of red, and
handed her the signed slip.
"How did your first day go, dear?" the receptionist asked maternally.
"Fine," I lied, my voice weak. She didn't look convinced.
When I got to the truck, it was almost the last car in the lot. It seemed
like a haven, already the closest thing to home I had in this damp green
hole. I sat inside for a while, just staring out the windshield blankly.
But soon I was cold enough to need the heater, so I turned the key and
the engine roared to life. I headed back to Charlie's house, fighting
tears the whole way there.
***********************************Chapter 2 : Phenomenon
I parked in front of the house, letting the truck idle and the heat blast out of the vents. I closed my eyes and pretended that the warmth I was feeling was from the phoenix sun, and ignoring the sound of wind and rain, I imagined that my eyelids were aglow on a bright day. I breathed in slowly, acting that the heat was dry, hot desert air. I pushed up my sleeves letting the warmth settle on my skin. Still fighting back tears, I tried to calm myself, pushing back the last few hours. But the thought of Edward Cullen and his bizarre glares wouldn’t go away. It was ridiculous, and egotistical, to think that I could affect anyone that strongly. But I couldn’t stop worrying that it was true. He was so mean; it wasn’t fair. I opened my eyes, and let out a sigh. It had to be something else, something that happened before our class together. I just couldn’t believe that his reaction was about me. I didn’t even know him, it was impossible to think he could have taken such a sudden, and intense dislike to me. I shook my head, trying to get rid of the thought, and shut off my truck. I turned to grab my things and thought I saw something from my peripheral, but when I looked up, there was nothing there.
Hmm, must be my imagination again.
I opened the door, cold air rushing in, taking all my warmth with it. I stepped out of the truck, and shut the door behind me. I turned to walk away and then something hit me; hard. I dropped all my books and my bag, I felt something solid and cold crushing me. I couldn’t breathe, the wind had been knocked out of me. And for a moment I lost my sight, everything went black.
What is this? What’s going on?
I blinked, trying to focus my eyes but saw nothing but a blur of green rushing past me.
Did I get hit by a bus?
I tried to move, to feel for the ground, but I couldn’t, I was stuck.
I didn’t think I could feel the ground moving under me, it felt as though I was flying. My feet were dangling, and I could feel the wind rushing past my face, and the whistle of it in my ears.
I tried again to focus my eyes but still saw nothing but a blur of green, How could this be?
Was I being drug by the bus and the driver didn’t know?
I tried to wave my arms, to get the drivers attention. But again I couldn’t move.
Is this really happening, or did I fall asleep in the truck? I’ve had dreams like this before, not being able to move or speak. But I didn’t feel like I was sleeping? I told myself to wake up anyway, just in case.
Wake up…Wake up…. Wake up Bella!!
Hmm, nothing. Maybe I wasn’t asleep, maybe it was a delusion. Just some weird day dream that I couldn’t snap out of. I knew forks would drive me crazy, I just hadn’t expected it to happen so soon!
Just then I came to an abrupt stop, the crushing ceased, and I hit the ground knocking the wind out of me.
I knew I was on the ground now, and I knew I wasn’t dreaming or having a delusion. The fall had hurt and I could feel the wet grass under me as I tried pulling myself up to catch my breath. I was dizzy, the world around me spinning, I tried to focus through the blur. I couldn’t, so I closed my eyes letting myself fall back to try and catch my breath. It was so cold here, my whole backside wet from my head down to my legs. My whole body was in pain, was it from the fall, what had hit me, or what had been crushing me? I sat up and opened my eyes, still trying to focus, and there he was.
Down, a few feet back, and crouched over. His teeth bared and his hands clenched into fists. He was glaring down at me, his eyes black and full of revulsion. He had the strangest expression on his face - it was hostile, furious. I flinched and stared blankly at him. I felt a thrill of genuine fear, raising the hair on my arms and the back of my neck. Now able to breathe I felt a wave of panic as my heart began to race.
What is was going on? Why was Edward here? Where is here and how did I get here? What is he doing?
If looks could kill - I thought.
I started to scoot myself back away from his hate-filled eyes. The ground was wet with rain, my hands and feet slipping over the mud and grass. I fell back on my elbows, causing my head to jerk back. I hurried up again, making little progress. With every inch I gained, Edward stepped forward, taking it back.
What is wrong with him, why is he doing this?
I tried to find my voice, but nothing came out. I wanted to ask him what his problem was, what he wanted from me, but my throat was so dry I couldn’t speak. I decided to run, not caring that much, I just need to get out of here. I turned over to stand up, hoping I wouldn’t trip, and as I pushed myself up a sharp stabbing pain pierced through the palm of my hand. I fell back to the ground. Grabbing my hand, I looked down at the sharp dirty stick, the skin bulging white and purple where it was ripped and stretched , pooling with blood. Acting on instinct I pulled
the stick out of my hand. In that moment I’d found my voice and I let out a wail. The huge gash began to bleed, pulsing with pain. And then something hard hit me, again.
****************************************************Chapter 3 : The Hunt
My head slammed into the ground and I was pinned by the same cold crushing restriction that had had me confined no more than a few moments ago.
In an instant, everything began moving in slow motion, my mind became unimpeded, sharp - focused. The synapses in my brain, firing and connecting a thousand times faster than ever before, allowing my mind to process several things at once with absolute lucidity. The rush of adrenaline coursing through my body, suppressing any fear that in elseways would have engulfed me, the cause and reason for allowing this to happen.
My vision was crystal clear, bright and vibrant. I could see everything around me with perfect clarity and great detail, things that I would have otherwise never noticed. The cold gray sky pained my eyes, while I looked up watching the earth slowly rotating by. The moisture blanketing the air around me, hovering like fog but clear and wet. The air as it circled and carried the small drops of rain, pushing and moving them to its will.
I could hear the softest of sounds, from far away, to as close as in my own body. My blood pumping through my veins, the thumping sound pulsing in my ears. My breath forcing out of me, my teeth lightly clanking together. The earth bending and pushing under my weight. Further away, the soft breeze wisping through the trees, ruffling the branches and leaves. Music from the creatures in the forest, crickets harmonizing with the songs of the birds.
My sense of smell was so heightened I could taste the sweet smell that was beside me. The clean crisp air that held a faint hint of salt. Wet muddy grass, pine cones and evergreens.
And I could feel everything, from painful to pleasant. The soft wet grass bowing under my body, my shape imprinting in the soft earth. The cold wet air wafting over my skin, the humidity holding there refusing to let go, like an invisible barrier.
The uncomfortable stretching of my neck as my head thudded with stopped force against the ground. The cold hard stone pressing against me. My ribs cracking and crushing against my lungs. My abdomen collapsing in toward my spine, the wrenching in my hip and pelvic bones. My thighs and legs flounder, falling and not able to move. The cold from his body soaking into me as his weight barred down. His quick graceful and impatient movements that manipulated my frame under his rapture.
His icy hand that slowly ran up the right side of my neck, winding around the back of my head. His frigid fingers sliding in through my hair, wrapping around the silky strands, grabbing a hand full with draw. His other hand, as he wound his stony fingers around my wrist like a vise. Pushing my forearm deeper into the soil, I could feel my carpal bones protest in pain.
The cold pressure on my torso increase slightly, as I felt my head tug back, and my throat stretch out. Tilting to the right he pulled my head down towards my shoulder leaving the left side unprotected. As the cool air touched the freshly exposed skin, I could feel goose bumps rush down the nap of my neck and shiver through my spine.
I could feel his breath in my ear, a low growl escaping past his lips. The cold was pouring from his face as he slowly and deliberately breathed in, down my neck and stopping just before reaching my shoulder.
He lingered there, inhaling the scent of my skin. His mouth slowly parting as he huffed out, in what sounded like pain. His cool lips pressing against my throat, and soon following razor sharp teeth.
I heard my skin tearing as he swept across my neck. I could feel my blood brimming to the surface, just before the pain. Like the blade of a master surgeon the cut was deep and precise. His mouth pressed tightly over the wound as the pull of blood began, the warmth leaving my body. If it hadn’t been so painful I would have thought he was kissing my neck.
I wanted to cry out, but I couldn’t find my voice. I opened my mouth but nothing came. I tried to push him away to run, and even though I was using all the strength I had, I didn’t move -not even an inch. I was stuck there, trapped, at the mercy of my attacker. I exhaled a deep breath, his weight to much for my lungs to bare. And as he moaned, out of pleasure I was sure, I knew what he was.
Edward Cullen was a vampire.
How could I not believe that when he was quite literally sucking the life out of me. It was as clear to me as the sky above, so obvious now. His odd behavior towards me today, the way he reacted to me when I walked into the room. The coal black color of his eyes, the purple circles around them. The pale, translucent appearance of his skin.
Of course he was a vampire.
As I thought about that, I could feel myself slipping. Invisible walls that I had put up to protect myself, crumbling down, like a sigh or an exhale of deep breath. And as my heart slowed and stammered for a beat I noticed I could no longer feel my legs, numb from the loss of blood. My hand and arms began to tingle, like they were falling asleep. My breathing was shallow and slow, my lungs burned in protest from the lack of oxygen. I knew my body was adapting to the pain, as it slowly started to fade.
I began to feel a sense of peace, calm flowed over me as I relaxed, letting myself sink deeper into the earth.
And as I inhaled through my nose, pulling in the sweetest smell again, I realized I wasn’t angry with the boy who was killing me. In a weird way I suppose I was almost happy to help, I had obviously caused him pain and discomfort.
That soon would be over for both of us.
I wasn’t sure how or why, but I knew my blood was something he couldn’t resist. Before today he had to be in control, he went to school and lived in forks for several years before I came. There has be something different about me, because he couldn’t stop himself from this. I was always a magnetic attraction for danger, clumsy as I stumbled through life. This being an extreme, no doubt, but not a surprise.
What would happen to my body? Obviously I would be dead after this, and he would have to get rid of the body. I allowed my mind to wander with this thought,
not having anything better to do.
Would he bury me somewhere here deep in the forest, never to be found. Take me to the ocean and throw me in, letting the current ferry me out to sea. Burn me to ash, crushing the bones and spreading them out over the earth. Or disregard me here, out in the open and let the wildlife take care of it for him?
Maybe he would stage an accident, leaving my body so no questions were raised. A perfectly acceptable and easily explained occurrence that had the proof of a body. A hit and run, abandoning me in the street, battered and bruised. A single motor vehicle accident, a rollover, causing severe head trauma, killing me instantly. Whatever it was my neck would be gashed, to cover up his track marks. Having no blood left in me to spill, I’m sure he would come up with something convincing.
No body would be easier. Having one would raise less questions.
*********************************************************************************************************************Chapter 4 : Goodbyes
The thought of them hurt worse than what was happening to me now. I had been so lost in my callous train of thought, that I didn’t think about what really mattered.
Would they ever have peace? Would they ever get an explanation to my strange and sudden disappearance? Or would they suffer with questions they would never get answered for the rest of their lives? Them never knowing and suffering because of me.
Renee, my loving, erratic, harebrained mother. She would be devastated, she didn’t want me to move to forks in the first place. If I would have stayed with her, this wouldn’t be happening.
I wouldn’t be causing both of my parents so much pain.
And Charlie, poor Charlie, being the chief of police in forks he would have to investigate the disappearance or death of his own daughter. I was never really good at expressing my feelings with Charlie, I regret that now.
I wish I could have at least said goodbye to them. Told them that I loved them, given them one last hug. I just want one more moment, one more minute, just to hold them and tell them they mean everything to me. One minute to tell them that I love them, thank them for the time I had with them. I need it, I know they know, but I need it, I need it for me, to tell them from me.
I want to go in peace, with no anger or regret. Leave this life with as much closure as possible.
I forgive you Edward.
I knew he couldn’t hear me, but I wanted to say it anyway. In this instant, I wasn’t angry with him, I didn’t know why, but I wasn’t angry. I was sad for my parents, for the loss they would feel, but I forgave him for taking me away.
And as the blackness started to creep in around the edges of consciousness, I knew it would be over soon. I was no longer cold and the pain had long faded. I didn’t want to fight anymore. What was the point? And I was content, I’d made my peace.
I let my eyelids close and briefly thought of the clichés about how you were suppose to see your life flash before your eyes. I was so much luckier. Who wanted to see a rerun anyway?
I focused my thoughts on Charlie and Renee, I would leave this life looking at the people I loved the most. I imagined the sound of their laughter, the warmth of their embrace. Charlie’s musky smell, and the prickle of his facial hair against my check. Renee’s floral scent, and how soft her hands were when she held mine. I would miss them, terribly.
And in a last effort of emotion from my body, a welled up tear rolled out of my eye and slowly down my check. I stared into the eyes of my loving parents, I love you and I smiled at them … everything went black.
*********************************************************************************************************************Chapter 5: The Angel
As I drifted, I dreamed.
Blackness, dark empty unfeeling blackness.
Like being under in the darkest water, during the blackest night. Being pushed and pulled down at the same time. Rushed to the surface, teasing, and drug down again.
This in not what I was expecting, they lied on the brochure.
Where’s the white light and warmth?
The pressure was so heavy, if I could feel anything I’m sure it would hurt. Like a ton of concrete resting on my chest, and the vacuum pull of a black hole sucking me away.
And the rush to the surface, so accelerated it should have given me whiplash. Like jumping off a cliff, but falling up instead of down.
At the surface there was ringing in my ears. So I focused on that, and with it was a pain. Nothing uncomfortable, just enough to let me know that it was there.
Was I still on the ground? I felt dead, but was I dead?
I tried to listen past the ringing, to hear something, anything that would help me understand what this was. Muffled noises, but nothing else.
I listened harder, and then I heard it. Thump.
It sounded as if it were coming from inside of my head, I felt the pain again, but this time in my chest. Was I still alive?
I waited and listened again, it seemed like forever, but there it was…thump. My heart, it was still beating. Granted not well, not strong and not often. But it was still beating.
I drew in as deep a breath I could, filling my lungs with the agonizing air. As I
exhaled I felt myself sink deeper into the water, heavier than before. It wasn’t that I was alive, not really, I just wasn’t completely dead yet either. Another thump this one lighter, weaker, not painful.
I heard again from under water the muffling of noises. Maybe even closer than before but I couldn’t understand it. It sounded like voices, so I tried to listen harder.
And then from where I floated, under the dark water, I heard it. The most beautiful sound. My angel. And then I knew I was dead. Through the heavy water, the angel was calling my name.
“ Bella!” the most beautifully musical voice said. Finally, my
angel had come.
“oh, Bella… no” she said softly, and gently took my hand in hers.
What did she mean by she’s dying, isn’t that the point of her being here?
I could feel myself being sucked in and out by the blackness, with every faint
painful beat of my heart I fell back and forth in between consciousness.
“ I don’t care Edward, I love her!” my angel yelled. Why is my angel
yelling? There’s no reason for her to be mad or upset.
“Alice I can hardly feel her anymore, she’ll be gone soon” a quite voice
said, it sounded far away.
The dark was so heavy, the pressure pushing me into obscurity. I wanted to stay
with my angel, I tried to fight the black…
“Look at what you’ve done, see what you have lost!” Broken sobs, my angel
was yelling again, but this time through tears.
The angel shouldn’t weep, it was wrong.
“ooh…” another pained whimper, in a voice I hadn’t heard before.
“…please, just …wait…”
“There’s no time to wait… she’s out of time… your out of time” My angel
whispered, sitting next to me. I could feel her brushing my hair away from my face, still holding my hand. My hand was so cold, It was making my hers feel cold too.
It was relentless, this dark, never giving up pushing me down faster now. It
was harder to find the voice again, harder to pull away to find my angel…
I felt myself being swept up into a cold embrace, “ I’m so sorry bella” I
felt cool lips lightly kiss my forehead and I was laid softly back to the cold
And then, just like before, I felt the sharp slashing pain down my throat…
*********************************************************************************************************************Chapter 6: Burning
The pain was bewildering.
Exactly that - I was bewildered.
I couldn’t understand, couldn’t make sense of what was happening.
Once he heard that my heart was still beating, he came back for more. Finish me off, take the last of my blood. Why not, I wont need it where I’m going.
But this time was different, not like the last, last time was a relaxing sunny day at the beach. I could hear the tearing of my skin again, and again. He must have thought I was dead, and decided to cut me and burn the body. But I wasn’t dead, I was alive, burning alive -with no hope of death insight. I felt the thumping of my heart again, raging with the fire that was in my chest. I wished I hadn’t found it now, wish that I could have continued to slip into the blackness, let myself continue to sink deeper and deeper into the ground and under the water until it completely covered me, and never let go. I wanted to lift my arms and claw my chest open, ripping my heart out anything to get rid of this torture. But this burning isn’t stopping, the never ending fire is only getting stronger and hotter and hotter and stronger.STOP!
I wanted to scream, I’m not dead, I’m alive!
But nothing worked, not my eyes, not my body, not my voice. I was frozen and stuck here in the fiery pits of hell. My body tried to reject the pain, but I was sucked again and again into the blackness. Whole seconds, even minutes cut out, making the agony of return that much harder. Returning to the red.
Red was the painful reality. The one that lasted the longest and hurt the most. So much so it had to be real. Non-reality was the black emptiness that didn’t hurt so much.
I tried to separate them.
Reality red felt like my bones had been replaced with branding irons fresh from the flames. My veins, boiling with acid rather than blood. The muscle and skin pan-fried in scolding hot grease. And my body as a whole, being dipped over and over again into the sun’s molten rock. All at the same time without any break or reprieve.
-And all this would have still been a walk in the park.
The burning grew- rose and peaked and rose and peaked until it surpassed anything I’d ever felt. I wanted to scream, beg for someone to kill me, to not live one more second in this pain. But my lips wouldn’t move. It all seemed like a hideous joke. If I couldn’t scream, how could I tell them to kill me? All I wanted was to die. To have never been born.
Kill me now. Let me die, let me die, let me die.
And for a never ending space, it was there, the fiery torture, my soundless shrieks, pleading for death to come. Nothing else. Not even time. So that made it infinite, with no beginning and no end.
One infinite moment of pain.
*********************************************************************************************************************Chapter 7: Waking Up
It could have been days, weeks, months or years. Maybe even minutes or mere seconds, I wouldn’t know and it didn’t matter. The pain never wavered, never faltered in its lashings. It stayed constant, growing and ripping its way through my body. I didn’t move, I didn’t dare open my eyes, and never unclenched my jaw. To anyone looking at me, I would have appeared sleeping. I wouldn’t give in to this pain, to the torture that was now my existence. I wouldn’t let him see any weakness, or get pleasure from my suffering.
So I endured, silently...
I could hear them around me, muffled at first. But as time went by, through the fever, I began to get stronger. Instead of giving the fire my undivided attention, I divided it. There was so much room here in my mind now, that I could easily shove it to the back, to a corner. It didn’t quiet the misery, but I could ignore it more easily there. I started to listen to my surroundings, to the people that were around me. I could hear things, from far away, things that I shouldn’t possibly be able to distinguish. And the subtle difference between their footsteps.
The one thing they’d kept repeating, was that the burning would end. I’d hoped, but I did not believe them. Why should I after all? They were all strangers to me, strangers and his
family. Not that I would hold that against them, if in fact this torment were to end, I would listen. I had to. What other choice did I have?
So I lay here, waiting…listening..
Then, the pain changed. It started fading, slowly, from my fingers and toes. This had to be it, the end they had talked about, the pain was on its way out…
My heartbeat, already too fast, picked up. The fire drove its rhythm to a new frantic pace, it had retreated from my palms, leaving them blissfully cool and pain-free, but took up new residence in my heart -raging and blazing more furious than ever before.
“Carlisle” a low, clear voice called out.
The loudest sound in the room was my frenzied heart, pounding to the rhythm of the fire.
“Ah,” Carlisle said “Its almost over”
My relief at his words was overshadowed by the excruciating pain in my heart. My wrists and ankles were free though, the fire was totally extinguished there.
“Soon” Alice agreed. “I’ll get the others”
The fire ripped hotter through my chest, draining in from my elbows and knees.
And then -oh!
My heart took off, beating like helicopter blades, the sound almost a single sustained note; it felt like it would grind through my ribs. The fire flared up in the center of my chest, sucking the last remnants of the flames from the rest of my body to fuel the most scorching blaze yet. The pain was enough to stun me, my fingers twitched, breaking through my perfect façade. My back arched, bowed as if the fire was dragging me upward by my heart.
I allowed no other piece of my body to break rank as my torso slumped back to the table.
It became a battle inside me-my sprinting heart racing against the attacking fire. Both were losing. The fire was doomed having consumed everything that was combustible; my heart galloped toward its last beat.
The room was silent besides the jack-hammering of my heart.
The fire constricted, concentrating inside my heart with a final, unbearable surge. The surge was answered by a deep, hollow-sounding thud. My heart stuttered twice, and then thudded quietly again just once more.
Then there was no sound. No breathing, not even mine.
For a moment, the absence of pain was all I could comprehend. They had been right, the fire went away, and it was euphoric. After being tortured and burned for god knows how long, and then to end up here, completely and totally pain free -as if it had never happened. Words fail to describe the feeling.
And so, I opened my eyes…