Edward left Bella in New Moon and never came back. Now Bella has a plan for moving on with her life
Disclaimer. ** All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer **
WARNING: **There is direct text from Stephenie Meyers Twilight Saga**
*It is not my intention to steal anything from Stephenie Meyer*
You could run from someone you feared, you could try to fight someone you hated. All my reactions were geared toward this - the monsters, the enemies.
But how could you run, how could you fight, when doing so would hurt that beloved one?
How could you, if it was someone you truly loved?
Chapter 1: Goodbye Forks
“Happy Birthday Bella” Jacob said towering over me as he stood in my doorway. He was holding a pink frosted cupcake in the palm of his hand, lit with a single candle. I smiled up at him, this was the perfect gift -no party, no celebration -just my best friend, a cupcake and a quiet evening in, on my last day in Forks.
“Make a wish -preferably before the wax completely covers the thing!” he said teasing.
I quickly blew it out, and then stepped aside, letting him in my tiny apartment “Jake, I’m a little old for making wishes. But thank you.” I reached up around his neck, giving him a peck on the check.
“Your only twenty Bella, and your never too old to make a wish!” He answered me, rolling his eyes at the same time.
He walked into the kitchen and went to the cupboard where I normally kept my plates, when he opened the door and had a brief moment of shock and then looked around, finding the boxes.
“You already packed up the kitchen?” he sounded a little confused.
“Jake, I’ve already packed up the whole apartment” I answered him, fanning out my hand towards the empty space.
“Oh” he nodded, slowly dropping his head.
“I know, I know. I just thought maybe you would have changed your mind” He cut me off, knowing I would just repeat the same thing that I have been telling him for almost a year now.
“Well, I haven’t and I’m sorry”
“Don’t be sorry Bella, I’ll just miss you that’s all” he smiled a weak smile at me, trying his best to hid his disappointment.
“It’s only college Jake, it’s not like you’ll never see me again” I lied.
“Yeah, college in Britain!” he scoffed.
“Whatever Jake!” I rolled my eyes and smiled at him, lightly punching him on the shoulder -which still managed to hurt a little.
I remembered back to a summer not that long ago when he kissed me without my permission. I unthinkingly punched him in the face and broke my wrist, after that I only had to fight him off for a couple more months before he got over the ridiculous idea of us being together.
Thinking about that made me chuckle, so I shook my hand like it really hurt -he remembered too and laughed back, shoving me very lightly on my shoulder, just enough to make me stumble back and laugh a little louder.
We split the cupcake and spent the remainder of the night on my tiny sofa talking and watching bad TV.
The next morning Jake and I drove over to my dad and Sue’s -my step-mom’s house, so the three of them could drive me to the airport to see me off.
About a year after Harry Clearwater passed away, Charlie and Sue where married. They both had loved Harry so much, that when he died they ended up spending a lot of time together, and eventually falling in love. They made each other happy and seemed to be perfect for each other, which allowed everyone to accept it so easily, no one looked at it as wrong or in a judging way.
I really like my new step-siblings too, we all got along really well. We were like the brady bunch -minus three.
After the long drive to the Seattle airport I had just enough time to check in and say goodbye to my family and best friend.
“I love you guys, thank you for driving me” I said to all three of them.
“We love you too sweetheart” Sue smiled, holding out her arms for me to hug her. We exchanged a quick hug and a kiss on the check before I let her go.
“I love you Bells, I’m really gonna miss you” Charlie grabbed me into a tight hug, his voice was horse as he fought back tears. Hearing him like this broke my self control and I began to weep.
“I love you too dad and I’ll miss you very much” I choked out between breaths. We stood there holding each other for a few minutes, neither of us moving to let go, Jake finally spoke up.
“Bella, your going to miss your plane” he said quietly.
“K” I whispered back, moving to let go of my dad. He still held on for a few tight more seconds then let me go, but not before kissing me on the check. “I love you, you call me as soon as you get there” he said sternly, looking me square in the eyes.
“K dad, I will. Promise” I tried to smile under he hands that surrounded my face. He bent down and kissed me one last time on the forehead before letting me go.
As soon as his hands were off my face Jake picked me up in a bear hug, squeezing me so tight I could barely breath “Jake…can’t….breath….” I managed to get out.
He laughed and set me down and then pulled me back into a hug, this time light enough that I could return his affection. I buried my face in his chest as I began to cry again. He was my rock, the one I counted on most in my life and I would miss him terribly. He bent down and kissed me on the top of my head, then resting his check there for a while, until I caught my breath.
He pulled me in tightly when I started to pull away, then let me go after giving me another kiss on the head. “Love you Bells”
“Love you too Jake” I replied, my breath hitching on the words.
I was holding Jakes hand when I started to walk away, neither of us letting go, until we had to when the slack ran out, both our arms falling heavily to our sides when our fingers slipped from each other. I walked threw the gate and turned to look at them one last time whispering the words ‘I love you’, I knew Jake would have heard me, but to my dad and Sue it would have looked like I only mouthed them.
I turned and continued to my boarding gate, leaving them and Forks behind me.
Once I reached London, I did as I promised and called Charlie to let him know that I had made it safe. We talked for a few minutes before I called to talk to Jake, he sounded happy to hear me but still had sadness in his voice.
When I hung up with them I went to the desk to check in for my other flight, the one that would lead out of the UK.
Chapter 2: Volterra
Once the plane landed at my final destination, I grabbed my two small bags and headed out of the airport to find a cab. Between the drive and my search it had taken me three hours until I found the place that I had always intended to come.
I was scared and nervous, but completely accepting in anything that was to come. I had decided on my fate long ago, it was a decision I had made, and had been planning and intended to keep. So as I walked up to the guards, not letting the hammering in my chest detour me, I confidently walked up to one of the men, looked him square in the eye and said
“I am here to speak with Aro”
It was just after dusk, dark enough for a vampire to be out in the open, but there were very little people on the street. He looked down at me, with amusement, confusion and shock fleeting across his cold face, then he squinted his eyes at me ever so slightly before answering “Excuse me?”
“Please, I must speak with Aro, your master. I have come a very long way, and with the information I hold, I’m sure he would like to speak with me as well.” I said, trying my best to sound confident, as if I actually had something he would want.
He continued to look at me with a bewildered expression on his face before looking up at his partner and nodding towards the door. The other vampire gave him a nod in return and went into the castle.
I took in a ragged breath, trying to calm myself. I never really expected it to go this far, I had hoped but didn’t think it would, a new wave of butterfly nervous erupted in my stomach as I tried to keep my breathing and my heartbeat under control.
Several minutes had passed, long enough for my nerves to die down, only to be replaced with despair. They were not going to let me in, and I would have to find another way to get what I wanted. All this time and planning was now wasted, and I had no back up plan.
The vampire guard must have noticed my change in demeanor, he chuckled softly with a grin “What’s your name?”
“Bella” I answered him softly, all hope and confidence from my voice “My name’s Bella” I looked down, trying to squish the urge to run away and cry.
He didn’t say anything else, we just stood there continuing to wait, in the dark and silence for someone to return with any news.
Finally after what seemed like an hour the other vampire came back out, he walked up to me, looking at the other guard and then telling me “Follow me”
I stood there, I was confused, I had been waiting out here for such a long time that I was sure I would be sent home, and when he said ‘Follow me’ it didn’t make sense. After a few seconds of both of them looking at me like I was a crazy lunatic, the guard who had been standing with me finally spoke again.
“Bella. Aro will see you now” he said slowly, as though I were a child who needed specific directions to understand, which was apparently the case.
“Oh, right. Ok” I mumbled out.
They looked at each other and shrugged before walking, one in front of me the other behind. We walked into the castle through the massive wooden doors and down several different halls, making our way deeper and deeper into the castle. After several minutes of walking we finally reached a room, I was shocked to find a human women at the reception desk. She smiled a gentle smile at me and then giggled at the vampire who walked behind me.
We walked through the last set of doors before reaching a room. It was round with three large chairs set up in the middle of the room. I recognized the men in them immediately as the vampires from a painted portrait that I once saw.
The two guards I had walked with, took me to the center of the room facing the three vampires, one standing on either side of me.
The vampire in the middle smiled a kind smile and stood up walking towards me “What is your name dear?” his voice was velvety like all the other’s I had heard, but raspy having an old sound to it.
“Bella” I said timidly, tipping my head towards him as if he were royalty.
“And why have you come here Bella?”
“I..uh..I” I shook my head, I had no idea what to say to him. I knew why I had come, and I knew what I wanted from them, but I had no idea how to explain myself or ask for what I wanted.
“Don’t be afraid dear Bella. My name is Aro, you asked for me by name. Now there must be something I can do for you, it’s not everyday a young human girl come’s knocking on the Volturi’s door asking to speak with one of the leaders.” He was still speaking softly, his words kind and curious.
“I..I’m sorry…I don’t…know what to say…where to begin….I” I couldn’t form a coherent thought let-alone a sentence.
“Why don’t you start by telling me how you’ve come to know my name and where to find me” He smiled a gentle smile.
“I knew a family, who had spoke of you and your coven.” I told him, flinching on the word family, hoping he would not ask me any names.
“Family? What family do you speak of?” he looked confused, and my chest began to writhe in pain. I had yet to speak any of their names aloud, not even a last name, and my body instinctively began to react on the impending doom, so taking the natural precaution, one that I had become very used to, I tightly wrapped my arms around my chest -in a hopeless effort to hold in and prevent the burn.
“Cullen” I whispered out as quickly as I could, wincing at the sound of the word, then tightly clenching my jaw.
“Ah, Carlisle. My dear old friend, how is he doing?” He asked apparently oblivious to my pain.
“I wouldn’t know, I haven’t seen them in two years.” I told him as calmly as I could, closing my eyes, forcing away the pain and then opening them again to look at Aro’s face.
“Ah, I see. And are they why you have come here today?”
“No.” I told him flatly -and in complete truth. They were not the reason I had come.
“And how’s that?” he asked curiously again.
“They are the reason that I know, but not the reason I have come. I came for me.” I was gaining some of my confidence back, remembering why I had come in the first place.
“You came for you? And what can we do for you, Bella”
“I want you to change me”
This is a work in progress, but while you wait you can read my other completed fan-fic here:
please update soon this is one of the best stories i love it ur doing great pretty please with cherries on top
A/N: The way this chapter is written might be a little confusing. It jumps around a lot in past conversation, and thought...my suggestion is to re-read, at the very least, the last several paragraphs of Chapter 19, if not the whole thing.
Many thanks to those of you who responded, it really is very much appreciated and I can not tell you enough how much I not only enjoy writing, but hearing from you all!
Chapter 20: EPOV: My Beautiful Bella
She ran. I tried to talk to her, tried to follow her, but unless she wanted you around it was impossible.
Over the last week I thought we were at the beginning of a break through with her, but with what happened with Emmett, I am more worried now than ever they she'll withdraw completely.
I have been pacing around her shield for the last several hours, hoping that she'll finally let me through so we can talk about what happened. I need to talk to her, I don't understand myself how or why she would remember Emmett – and not me; but it doesn't matter, just at long as she is remembering. This could be a break through, something that I've dared to dream and hope for since the moment I first saw her, since the second I realized she didn't remember me; this could really be the start of getting my Bella back, my love.
"Please Bella" I pleaded with her again, placing my hand on her shield. I doubted she could hear me, from the point at which she was blocking me to her home was too far for me to see, perhaps if it was level ground that would be different, but I can't know for sure. I can't hear her thoughts and she hasn't responded to me once.
She knows I'm here though, and that's something. Whenever I touch the barrier, she's either pulled back or pushed me away. At least she knows I'm here. The first time I was in contact with her shield was in Laden Fields during the meeting, and the second was just over a week ago in our English class.
After leaving the Volturi; having been rejected by my request to join them, I was despondent trying to figure out how I would be able to get in contact with her. Luckily for me not all of the Volturi were aware of exactly how my ability works, and thanks to Jane, I obtained all the information I needed.
Leaving her that day, I already knew what I was going to do, and no sooner than I expected Alice called and told me she was going to join me. The rest of my family was hesitant and decided to stay back and wait to see how or what Bella would do in response to us joining her at the University.
Bella was more perfect than I could have ever possibly imagined, and achingly beautiful when she was angry.
"What are you doing here?" She fumed, pushing me into the wall with her shield.
I was so in awe with her and her ability I couldn't help the grin that swept across my face as I answered her in a teasing tone. "I'm here for class Bella, same as you."
She argued with me for a bit, staring at me with her golden eyes; eyes still as rich and deep brimming over with secrets as they ever were. My beautiful Bella, how I wish you would remember me.
She released me as I told her of my visit with Professor Hardwick, slowly I began walking around the room – to better see her from every angle, as I made my way to the seat Alice had told me would provide the best view.
As soon as I sat she moved toward me as if to throw me out, unaware that students would soon be coming through the door at any moment. I smiled at the knowledge; I could still distract her, even if she didn't realize that that's what was happening.
I watched as realization flitted across her perfect features and winked at her to hide my true feelings for her. She glared at me; while I smiled in return, before she turned around to greet the students, and I settled in, preparing to watch her every move for the next hour.
"You're supposed to be here to learn something and pay attention to the teacher – not stare at me." She said angrily.
"I can do both." I chuckled at her, trying to keep it light and realizing that I needed to try harder to keep my affection for her in check.
"Are you trying to irritate me to death?" She glared at me again, not appreciating my humor. I remembered a similar question in a different time, her anger towards me still just as entertaining.
She ignored me for the rest of class, leaving me to watch her; leaving me to again memorize every perfect detail about this girl; – the only girl in the world, the only girl that I will ever love; to reacquaint myself with every aspect of her being. – The way her silky hair rests softly behind her while the ends lightly hang just at the small of her back. The cross of her legs and the gentle rhythmic bounce of her slender foot. The smooth and elegant strokes of her pen as she puts it to paper. The way she draws in her full bottom lip between her teeth, just as she had when she was human, –she still takes my breath away.
I watched her walk out of class early that day, a smug smile playing at the edge of her lips.
"We need to pull back" Alice told me after having class with Bella herself. "Both of us."
I watched her mixture of visions as Bella debated again with herself about contacting the Volturi.
"We're coming on too strong." She showed me that Bella would in fact contact them if we didn't let up on her over the next couple of days, and that she wouldn't if we gave her some space.
"Alright." I agreed reluctantly, I wanted to keep up my teasing with Bella, it was always the best way to get a reaction out of her and it didn't seem to be any different now, but I didn't want her to contact them, I didn't want them to intrude and take her away from me again before I had a chance to get her to remember me, I at least had to try.
Either way, I was here to fight for my girl
The rest of the week was a blur of small conversations and long glances. When I wasn't with her I was watching her, through the minds of those around her or with my own eyes. I had taken up spying on her again, just as I had before when I would sneak into her room late at night and watch her sleep.
I didn't dare get to close to her home, not knowing whether or not she put up her shield, but I would get close; close enough that I could hear her talk and watch her as she moved about the house.
When she was in the comfort of her own home was when I was rewarded with seeing all of Bella, the new Bella that was still my Bella.
She had changed, I was sad to admit, but not enough that she was a completely different person, no, she was still in there, even if she couldn't remember herself.
She was graceful in her movements, I would say even more so than Alice – and that was saying something.
She looked happy too, and I couldn't decide if that made me upset or not. I was happy that she was happy, but sad that it wasn't because of me or with me.
The hardest part of watching her was when she was talking to them. Any of them really, but more specifically him; Demitri.
I had quietly broken several branches during my watching hours of her. The look she would get on her face when she saw that it was him calling, or the way she would sit herself on the couch to talk to him, taking a strand of her soft hair in between her fingers to play with while she did. The laughter she exuded when he would say something she found funny, or the lustrous way she spoke to him as they were getting off the phone together, saying goodnight.
It was the second hardest thing I've ever had to do; sit there and watch, listen to her speak that way with another. I wanted to kill him each time her phone would ring. I wanted to run to the Volturi and risk my life just to have the chance to rip him apart – limb from limb.
I wanted to break through her door, take the phone way from her and crush it in the palm of my hand.
I wanted to lift her from the couch and tell her that I loved her; that I've always loved her and that there was nothing she could ever say or do that would ever change that; she was, is and always will be my life. That she was mine and that she belonged to me – that she belonged with me.
I wanted to place both my hands on the sides of her face and say these things to her while looking in her beautiful eyes, and after I would bring her mouth to mine and kiss her. Kiss her like she's never been kissed before – by anyone, and then show her how I truly felt about her – all of her – worship her like the goddess she is; crush her against me while making her gasp for air and call out my name.
I wanted to hold her to me; fitting her slender body tightly against mine – where she belongs, and tell her again how I love her; in all the ways that I love her while planting tender kisses all over her precious skin.
I want her to accept my love, remember my love and return my love, in every way, and everyday of forever.
"Oh Bella." I whimpered, bowing my head and placing my fore head against her shield. I couldn't think about what I wanted to do, it was hard enough to think about what I needed to do and what was already being done.
"Bella! There you are." Alice chimed, once again cutting in at the perfect time. Bella was about to ask me some questions that I couldn't answer just yet, no matter how badly I wanted too, she just wasn't ready for the truth.
"Hi Alice." She replied, stepping back away from me.
While we were talking after class the following week, I had walked up to her, wanting to look in her eyes as I apologized for her witnessing me chastising Alice for her slip about Jasper. I didn't want her to think that it was a habit of mine to yell at my sister, or my normal behavior to act like such a jerk.
"I don't want you to get the wrong impression of me, I was concerned about something she had done, and Alice is right, I do have a tendency to overreact." I told her looking down at her intently, trying to convey my sincerity.
"OK." She replied to me in a breathy tone, acceptance laced in the word. I was so lost in her eyes and her presence that my simple "OK." was all I could muster in return.
I couldn't stop myself, I had to touch her. She was so close to me – the closest she has been to me in over eleven years, I couldn't not touch her in this moment. Slowly, I raised my hand up to her face; giving her the time to move away if she chose too – and gently brushed a wayward strand of hair from around her eye and check bone. Even as I tenderly let my fingers rest on her smooth skin, caressing the soft sheath, it was over all to quickly and I reluctantly moved my hand away.
Just as it had in the past, my skin tingled from her touch, the familiar electricity coursing through me, reminding me of our connection.
Bella walked up to Alice and together they exited the door, where unbeknownst to her my family was waiting. After not seeing her for eleven years and knowing we had been with her for over a week without incident they couldn't find a reason to stay away.
Even Rosalie wanted to see her again.
It was many years after I had left Bella and during one of my infrequent trips home that she apologized to me for how she treated Bella and how she acted about our relationship. After watching me suffer from the loss of my love, and having to endure the aftermath of my decision she realized how unfair she had been and truly felt sorry for everything she had done.
Rosalie was hoping for a second chance with Bella, even though she knew she didn't remember any of us.
"Bella, this is Jasper." Alice said, officially introducing Bella to Jasper.
A mixture of emotions were emanating from both of them. Jasper's were still and currently too much for me to focus on, especially with Bella right here, but I was instantly tuned in to Jasper, my first real read on Bella since that fateful night in Forks.
"Hello Jasper, it's nice to see you again." She said to him politely, recognition in her voice as she held out her hand to shake his. She didn't indicate anything but slight embarrassment and an uncomfortable feeling, which I assumed was situational and not because of any one person.
"Hi Bella, it's a pleasure to see you as well." He said to her affectionately. He was feeling a lot of guilt and responsibility for everything, past, present and future.
Bella looked past him and smiled at Carlisle and Esme, while Alice continued to talk and introduced her to Rosalie.
"Bella, this is Rosalie." She said, Bella turned and smiled at my sister while holding out her hand in the same gesture she extended to Jasper.
"Hi Bella." Rose stepped forward and gently took Bella's hand into hers. 'Oh god Edward, she really doesn't know any of us does she? I'm so sorry.' She told me. She was hurt, for me, for my family and for her too.
"Hello, it's nice to meet you." Bella's indifference to Rosalie was what made her facade crack, she tried to collect herself and replied quietly "It's nice to meet you too."
Rosalie turned to meet my gaze for a moment, the anguish in her eyes told me all I needed to know about how I must have looked each time I thought of Bella before finding her again and since. Rosalie would never do anything in the way of coming between love ever again. She hurriedly turned away and went to stand next to Esme', trying still to keep her composure and looking for comfort from our mother.
Bella took a last look around the small group giving everyone another smile while readjusting her bag, the same way she always did when she was getting ready to run.
I didn't want her to go, and neither did any of my family. They wanted her to come back to the house we were renting and talk to her.
Alice had brought pictures of all of us together in hopes that she would be able to show them to Bella someday soon.
Esme' wanted to talk to her and get to know her again, ask her about everything that she has been doing since becoming a vampire.
Carlisle wanted to know her and get the answers to all these same questions, while at the same time wanting to examine her, ask her questions about her amnesia, he had hopes he could find a way to help her.
We all wanted something more to do with her, more to say to her, more time to spend with her.
"There she is!" Emmett bellowed as he rounded the corner, he was in such a hurry to get here to see her that he didn't think to edit what he would say. He had missed Bella in the same way everyone else had, but more closely to how Alice felt about her. He truly loved her and considered her a sister, he always had.
Emmett's greeting smile was so genuine and affectionate it would have been hard for anyone to deny him a returning gesture and when Bella saw him and smiled back, I was rewarded with my first Demitri free expression making it's way across her face.
What I wasn't expecting, – what none of us were expecting was her greeting to him. "Hi Emmett." She chuckled back at him, exuding recognition and comfort towards him through her feelings.
The silence was audible.
To say we were all shocked would be an understatement.
That was goood! please write more i want to know what happens next really bad! lol its great 8)
A/N: Thank you to the Vampire Diaries for 'lending' me their best.
Chapter 21: Journal: Someone Else
June 2nd 2006
I met someone.
Jacob and I went to a party last night out at first beach. I probably had too much to drink, but I had fun (I usually do with Jake) but last night was different.
His name is Damon. He's not anything like you or Jacob in that special way that you two are, not that I'm aware of anyway … and Jake said he didn't stink, so that has to be a something? Right?
But, more importantly, he's nothing like you.
I knew instantly that he wouldn't remind me of you in anyway, he was forward and brash, unapologetic, – almost to the point of being rude... and, I liked it. I felt new around him, and for whatever reason he wanted to spend time with me, so I let him.
He has a bike, which you know I have a soft spot for ever since Jake and I fixed up those two a couple of years ago. It was stupid and dangerous, but he offered me a ride and I accepted.
Jacob and his girlfriend Liz were to preoccupied to notice, otherwise I would have never been able to get away with something so reckless, but I did, and it was exhilarating.
He took me around on the old back roads where we eventually ended up at the top of a cliff looking over the water.
He kissed me.
He didn't ask, he didn't take it slow and he didn't hesitate. He walked up to me, wrapped his arm around my waist, held the back of my head and kissed me, long, deep and hard.
He said he liked me. Just like that, no romantic twist, no games.
I like you.
He said to me as he continued to hold me firmly against him, and then before I could answer or reply with anything he kissed me again, and then told me we were leaving and got back on his bike.
It was, sexy. The way he just took control of me and the situation, and it was exciting.
I can't wait to see him again.
10 Years Ago...
“Oh, teens today and their underage drinking. Tragic.” The guy next to me stated, startling me by leaning down while speaking into my ear.
“Excuse me?” I asked him, turning around and taking a step back from his close proximity.
“I'm Damon” He said sticking out his hand “and you are Bella Swan.”
“I am.” I confirmed to him skeptically, bringing my hand up to meet his.
“A pleasure.” He said with a glint in his eye as he took my hand in his, curling my fingers around his own while bringing my hand up to his lips; placing a light kiss against my knuckles.
He smiled at me as he let my hand go, walking past me towards the beach he asked “Are you here with anyone?” he spoke to me while looking out at the water.
“Yes.” I told him, beginning to feel mildly defensive about his attitude.
“Other than your friend Jacob and his girlfriend Lizzie.” He turned toward me with a squint and a smirk.
“How did you...” I trailed off, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of catching me off guard. Straightening my shoulders I said to him “I know a lot of people here. Most of them actually.”
“Of course you do.” He turned fully toward me with a smile. “But, you're not here with any -one of them are you?” He stated rather than questioned.
“Come on,let me get you another drink.” He told me; wrapping his arm around my shoulders, without allowing me to answer, reply or accept his offer.
“You're kind a demanding for someone I don't even know.” I told him as I stumbled my way over the rocks.
“Yeah.” He said, humored and unaffected by my statement.
Damon ushered me over to the beer coolers keeping his hand on my back as he gently guided us to our destination. Once there he went over to one of the coolers and reached in, grabbing out a beer and cracking it open before handing it to me.
Once the beer was in my hand, he went over to another cooler and pulled out a bottle of water.
“Thanks.” I said to him, but it sounded more like a question.
“You're welcome.” He said back to me, coming over to cheers me with his bottle.
“You're not drinking?”
“Why not?” I asked a little miffed.
He chuckled at me before answering “I'm not some drunk sorority chick Bella.” He said giving me a wink. “You can't roofie me.”
“What?” The word came out a little breathy from my confusion.
He laughed at me and my obvious fluster before telling me “I don't drink and drive B.”
He shoved off the car he had been leaning on and started walking down the row of vehicles. “Or ride as it where tonight.” He said, pointing at a black and silver bike.
“Is that yours?” I asked, instantly more excited about my new friend.
I walked over to the bike and began running my hand over the metal frame and leather seats. Damon followed, watching me as I circled and inspected the motorcycle. I thought of mine and Jacobs bikes that were locked up in his dads garage under a tarp. We used to have so much fun riding those old things, even though we haven't done it in quite a while. Thinking back on it made me smile.
“Do you want to go for a ride?”
I looked up at him without answering, and then began searching the grounds around us, looking to see if Jacob was in sight.
“They don't have to know.” He told me conspiratorially, walking around me and gently brushing up against me as he took the helmet off the back of the bike. “We'll be gone and back before anyone has time to notice that you were gone.”
“O.K.” I agreed, totally convinced by him. I don't know if it was the beer or Damon himself, but I felt comfortable enough with him to get on the back of his bike without a second thought.
I hurriedly finished what was left of my beer and shoved the helmet on my head.
Damon didn't wait for me to do either; he climbed on the motorcycle and kick started the engine before the helmet was fully pressed on my head. My hands were a little shaky as I climbed on behind him and gingerly wrapped my arms around his torso.
Suddenly he let go of the handle bars and grabbed both of my hands. “I won't let you fall Bella, but you have to hold on.” He said to me fervently while tightening my hold around him.
We rode around for awhile before finally coming to the top of a wide, open cliff with a great view of the ocean. There was a soft warm breeze as we looked out on to the moon sheathed water, the gentle rhythmic waves crashing bellow as the only sound in the night.
I turned toward him to thank him for bringing me here when the look on his face stopped me from speaking. Damon took the few shorts steps between us, effectively putting our bodies tightly against each other. He wrapped one arm strongly around the back of my waist, while bringing the other up around my should to grasp the back of my head as he brought his mouth against mine.
The kiss was so intense I melted into it, letting his need and my own take over my body and my reactions. I wrapped both my arms around his neck and pulled myself closer into him, my body tingling from head to toe from its intensity.
Damon's kiss was strong and passionate, taking everything he wanted but giving me more in return – I didn't want it to end.
June 10th 2006
I'm seeing Damon again tonight. I haven't seen him since that first night at the beach. We've only talked once on the phone, so I'm a little nervous but still excited.
It's so stupid that I feel like I'm cheating on you, in just a few short months you'll have been gone for two years.
I should get over you right? I mean, you've moved on, so what's my problem?
I'm really going to try with Damon, he's so different from you that it might be possible.
All of the other dates I've been on have been a disaster. They either try to hard or say something too soon that reminds me of you. It might have been too soon for me anyway.
I'm really excited about the possibility that, for even just awhile, with Damon, I'll be able to focus on someone other than you.
Even if it only lasts, for just a little while.
10 years ago...
*Knock. Knock. Knock.*
“Jake will you get that please!” I hollered from the bathroom. I was finishing combing through my hair when the door knocked, I figured it would be Damon coming to pick me up.
“Hey.” Jake said opening the door.
“You're here early.” Jake said to him, being Jake. I had to roll my eyes, was he seriously trying doing the whole 'man of the house' thing again! “What's up.”
“I've come to eat cotton candy and steal your girl.” Damon told him coming into the apartment.
“hmm. Good luck with that.” Jake replied to him with humor in his voice as he closed the door.
“I don't need luck. I'm me.” Damon replied with a smirk.
“Cocky much?” I asked walking into the room to stand in between the two of them.
“Very much.” Damon replied scandalously.
Jacob looked at me as he gaffed in response, while I turned red as a tomato. Wow.
“T.M.I. Dude.” Jacob said to him, and then was serious “And Bella here is a lady. All joking aside, I expect you to treat her as such.”
“Jacob!” I chided him, but it didn't matter, him and Damon were having there own conversation.
“Of course.” Damon told him seriously.
“I'm glad we agree.” Jake said to him stoically, and then stuck his hand out.
They both shook hands as if they had just made some sort of deal or transaction, while I watched, feeling a little put-out, embarrassed and annoyed.
“You know Jacob.” Damon said once they let each others hand go, “I look at you and I see myself.”
“Really?” Jake asked him sarcastically with a smirk.
“A less dashing, less intelligent version.” Damon returned the smirk.
Jacob just chuckled at him before coming over to kiss the top of my head. “Have fun tonight Bells.” He said and then turned for the door, “And take care of my girl.” He told Damon before leaving the apartment.
I turned to look at Damon; once Jake had closed the door ,to ask him what that was all about but didn't get the chance.
“Protective of you isn't he?” Damon questioned me, and then just like the first time we met, he didn't let me finish, he walked up to me and pulled me in for a kiss. 'God, that's hot' I thought as I pulled him closer.
June 16th 2006
I'm having a really great month. I just wanted you to know.
June 20th 2006
June 30th 2006
Well, it's been a month and Damon and I are still seeing each other. My little apartment is full. Jake has always been a permanent fixture around here, only going home once or twice a week, and since he stays here Liz usually stays with him a couple of nights, and as of lately Damon's been staying over too. It's kind of nice, I always liked being alone, it never really bothered me, but I didn't realize that I would enjoy having a house full of people either.
Keeps me busy and my mind off of you that's for sure. The apartment is too small to really hide anywhere, not that I want to, but if I did it wouldn't last for long.
Damon is taking me to Seattle for the weekend, he won't tell me what we are doing but I'm hoping it has something to do with Death Cab for Cutie, I'm so excited!!
I really think you would have liked Damon. I know Emmett would have, they have that whole sports thing in common.
For right now, I'm having fun with this. I'm just letting myself go … and on the nights that I'm alone, I try not to think of you, so that I can continue to enjoy right now.
10 years ago...
Damon and I have been in Seattle for a whole day and he still won't tell me what we are doing. He took me out to dinner last night to The Waterfront Seafood Grill. It's right on the peir looking out at Puget Sound. It was amazing, and the food was good too.
We did all the touristy things, we went to the Aquarium and Pike's Place, we walked around downtown and finally went to the Space Needle to look out at the city. It was a really great night, ending at the hotel.
We were just finishing lunch at Denny Park when he stood, pulling me up with him.
“Are we finally going?” I asked him excitedly.
“Almost.” He said mischievously. He then took a bandana from his back pocket and walked around me.
“Hold still.” He told me, and then started to cover my eyes with the cloth.
“What are you doing?”
He didn't answer me immediately, he finished tying the blindfold and then said “Now we are going.”
“Damon...I can't go anywhere like this, I can't see!”
“I'll lead you, don't you trust me?”
“Come Bella.” He said ignoring me, he wrapped his arm around my back and placed his other hand on my shoulder that was next to him, sort of steering me.
He lead me over to his bike, where he helped me get on.
“This is kidnapping.” I huffed.
“That's a little melodramatic, don't you think?”
I didn't reply, I just held on a little tighter. We rode around for what felt like hours, but was probably only about fifteen minutes.
When we finally stopped I could hear people around me; a lot of people.
“Where are we?” I asked, – again not receiving a response, instead he just took up the same position and began leading me further into the sound.
We stopped once and one of his hands left my body, and then he was gently pushing me through something that made a clicking sound.
Not long after that and bumping into a ton of people along the way, he finally stopped and whispered in my ear.
“We're here.” And then he took off my blind fold.
July 5th 2006
It was Death Cab for Cutie, and it was awesome! I had so much fun, … I really have fun with him, he's great. The whole weekend with him was amazing.
I feel bad for saying that to you, but he really is . I can't describe him, but he's great.
I really like this guy.
July 18th 2006
I'm not going to feel guilty about being with him anymore. I'm happy and I want to enjoy it. You left me. Not the other way around.
July 29th 2006
Damon surprised me again today. You know how I hate surprises, but this wasn't bad, not that last time was bad, it wasn't at all. I guess he's figured me out a little more. There wasn't anyone around, no embarrassing group gatherings, blindfolds or anything, just him and me.
He cooked me dinner. It was awful.
But truly one of the sweetest things, and with a little red it was one of the best nights I've spent in my apartment.
10 Years ago...
“Bell!” Damon bellowed as he came through the door, I had just gotten out of the shower so I quickly wrapped a towel around myself before stepping out the door.
“I have a surprise...” He was saying and then stopped once he saw me.
I blushed; rethinking my attire as I made myself known, but ignored both our reactions and decided to tease him instead. “A surprise Damon? You know I don't really like surprises.” I said to him and then pulled my hair over to one side, trying to shield myself with it.
“But I do.” He said cocking up one of his eyebrows.
We looked at each other for a few tense moments before he told me “Get dressed and come out when you're ready.” And with that he turned away and began shuffling whatever is was that he brought with him.
I hurried back into the bathroom to dry off , get dressed and comb through my hair, once I was finished I went back out to where he had been making a lot of noise and sporadically cussing.
“What are you doing?” I asked with a laugh as I walked into my kitchen. He had what seemed like every pan and dish I owned scattered all over the kitchen, with bags of groceries mixed in.
“I'm making you dinner.” He told me without turning around.
“Is that what you call this?” I teased him.
With that he finally turned around to smile at me, coming over to sneak in a kiss.
“Cute pj's” He said appraising me.
Two hours later Damon had managed to put together what looked like red sauce and noodle blob, but was supposed to be chicken parmesan.
He wouldn't let me help him with dinner, no matter how many times I tried or asked. In the end we had a batch of both over cooked and under cooked noodles, burnt chicken and watery spaghetti sauce with chunks.
“This is garbage.” he told me when it was all done.
“Let me try it. You went through all this trouble, I at least get to try it.” I didn't want to, but he looked kind of pitiful right at the moment.
He looked at me skeptically and then shook his head. I rolled my eyes at him and gently pushed him out of my way to grab a plate and put some of 'it' on.
He copied me and we both sat down across from each other at the small table in the next room. It was like a stand off, the way we both looked at each other, daring the other with our eyes to try it first.
“Come on,” I said to him “it can't be that bad.” I faked nonchalance.
Looking down at my plate I couldn't decided where I didn't want to begin, so I just picked the middle, stuck my fork in and cut through what was there - actually I sawed through what was there, but that's not the point.
When I had a bite sized amount cut up I stuck my fork in it and popped it into my mouth.
The flavor on contact wasn't bad, but once I swiped it over to the side of my mouth to chew I was treated to the full effect, and as I crunched down on whatever it was that I had stuck in my mouth I smiled at him through the rough biting.
“How is it?” He asked warily.
“mmm.” Was my genius reply while nodding and continuing to chew.
With that he took his fork and cut through his pile and put a huge bite in his mouth, chewed twice and spit it out.
“BLAH! That's disgusting!” He said wiping his mouth and grabbing for his glass of wine. “Bella spit it out!” he ordered and then took a long pull off his glass.
I couldn't help the laugh that finally bubbled over and out through the food that was in my mouth, I managed to choke down the bite that I had before reaching for my own glass to swish my mouth with.
Damon didn't hesitate to grab both our plates and toss the food in the garbage. When he had everything thrown away, he tied up the bag and stomped out of the house to throw it in the dump.
When he came back in I handed him his refilled glass of wine and turned to look at the mess in the kitchen. The laughter that followed from both of us set the mood for the rest of the evening.
July 30th 2006
It was one of the greatest nights, but an even better morning...and afternoon.
I won't be writing for awhile. After last night I realized I've been splitting my focus with Damon.
I can't think about you while being with him. That's not fair to him, and I want it to be.
I'm with someone else, and you can't be here.