The Twilight Saga

Edward left Bella in New Moon and never came back. Now Bella has a plan for moving on with her life



Disclaimer. ** All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer **
WARNING: **There is direct text from Stephenie Meyers Twilight Saga**
*It is not my intention to steal anything from Stephenie Meyer*



New Horizon



You could run from someone you feared, you could try to fight someone you hated. All my reactions were geared toward this - the monsters, the enemies.

But how could you run, how could you fight, when doing so would hurt that beloved one?

How could you, if it was someone you truly loved?





Newhorizoncover.jpg picture by idnarval



Chapter 1: Goodbye Forks


“Happy Birthday Bella” Jacob said towering over me as he stood in my doorway. He was holding a pink frosted cupcake in the palm of his hand, lit with a single candle. I smiled up at him, this was the perfect gift -no party, no celebration -just my best friend, a cupcake and a quiet evening in, on my last day in Forks.


“Make a wish -preferably before the wax completely covers the thing!” he said teasing.


I quickly blew it out, and then stepped aside, letting him in my tiny apartment “Jake, I’m a little old for making wishes. But thank you.” I reached up around his neck, giving him a peck on the check.

“Your only twenty Bella, and your never too old to make a wish!” He answered me, rolling his eyes at the same time.


He walked into the kitchen and went to the cupboard where I normally kept my plates, when he opened the door and had a brief moment of shock and then looked around, finding the boxes.

“You already packed up the kitchen?” he sounded a little confused.


“Jake, I’ve already packed up the whole apartment” I answered him, fanning out my hand towards the empty space.


“Oh” he nodded, slowly dropping his head.




“I know, I know. I just thought maybe you would have changed your mind” He cut me off, knowing I would just repeat the same thing that I have been telling him for almost a year now.


“Well, I haven’t and I’m sorry”


“Don’t be sorry Bella, I’ll just miss you that’s all” he smiled a weak smile at me, trying his best to hid his disappointment.


“It’s only college Jake, it’s not like you’ll never see me again” I lied.


“Yeah, college in Britain!” he scoffed.


“Whatever Jake!” I rolled my eyes and smiled at him, lightly punching him on the shoulder -which still managed to hurt a little.


I remembered back to a summer not that long ago when he kissed me without my permission. I unthinkingly punched him in the face and broke my wrist, after that I only had to fight him off for a couple more months before he got over the ridiculous idea of us being together.


Thinking about that made me chuckle, so I shook my hand like it really hurt -he remembered too and laughed back, shoving me very lightly on my shoulder, just enough to make me stumble back and laugh a little louder.


We split the cupcake and spent the remainder of the night on my tiny sofa talking and watching bad TV.




The next morning Jake and I drove over to my dad and Sue’s -my step-mom’s house, so the three of them could drive me to the airport to see me off.


About a year after Harry Clearwater passed away, Charlie and Sue where married. They both had loved Harry so much, that when he died they ended up spending a lot of time together, and eventually falling in love. They made each other happy and seemed to be perfect for each other, which allowed everyone to accept it so easily, no one looked at it as wrong or in a judging way.

I really like my new step-siblings too, we all got along really well. We were like the brady bunch -minus three.


After the long drive to the Seattle airport I had just enough time to check in and say goodbye to my family and best friend.


“I love you guys, thank you for driving me” I said to all three of them.


“We love you too sweetheart” Sue smiled, holding out her arms for me to hug her. We exchanged a quick hug and a kiss on the check before I let her go.


“I love you Bells, I’m really gonna miss you” Charlie grabbed me into a tight hug, his voice was horse as he fought back tears. Hearing him like this broke my self control and I began to weep.

“I love you too dad and I’ll miss you very much” I choked out between breaths. We stood there holding each other for a few minutes, neither of us moving to let go, Jake finally spoke up.

“Bella, your going to miss your plane” he said quietly.


“K” I whispered back, moving to let go of my dad. He still held on for a few tight more seconds then let me go, but not before kissing me on the check. “I love you, you call me as soon as you get there” he said sternly, looking me square in the eyes.


“K dad, I will. Promise” I tried to smile under he hands that surrounded my face. He bent down and kissed me one last time on the forehead before letting me go.


As soon as his hands were off my face Jake picked me up in a bear hug, squeezing me so tight I could barely breath “Jake…can’t….breath….” I managed to get out.


He laughed and set me down and then pulled me back into a hug, this time light enough that I could return his affection. I buried my face in his chest as I began to cry again. He was my rock, the one I counted on most in my life and I would miss him terribly. He bent down and kissed me on the top of my head, then resting his check there for a while, until I caught my breath.


He pulled me in tightly when I started to pull away, then let me go after giving me another kiss on the head. “Love you Bells”


“Love you too Jake” I replied, my breath hitching on the words.


I was holding Jakes hand when I started to walk away, neither of us letting go, until we had to when the slack ran out, both our arms falling heavily to our sides when our fingers slipped from each other. I walked threw the gate and turned to look at them one last time whispering the words ‘I love you’, I knew Jake would have heard me, but to my dad and Sue it would have looked like I only mouthed them.


I turned and continued to my boarding gate, leaving them and Forks behind me.



Once I reached London, I did as I promised and called Charlie to let him know that I had made it safe. We talked for a few minutes before I called to talk to Jake, he sounded happy to hear me but still had sadness in his voice.


When I hung up with them I went to the desk to check in for my other flight, the one that would lead out of the UK.





Chapter 2: Volterra


Once the plane landed at my final destination, I grabbed my two small bags and headed out of the airport to find a cab. Between the drive and my search it had taken me three hours until I found the place that I had always intended to come.


I was scared and nervous, but completely accepting in anything that was to come. I had decided on my fate long ago, it was a decision I had made, and had been planning and intended to keep. So as I walked up to the guards, not letting the hammering in my chest detour me, I confidently walked up to one of the men, looked him square in the eye and said


“I am here to speak with Aro”


It was just after dusk, dark enough for a vampire to be out in the open, but there were very little people on the street. He looked down at me, with amusement, confusion and shock fleeting across his cold face, then he squinted his eyes at me ever so slightly before answering “Excuse me?”


“Please, I must speak with Aro, your master. I have come a very long way, and with the information I hold, I’m sure he would like to speak with me as well.” I said, trying my best to sound confident, as if I actually had something he would want.


He continued to look at me with a bewildered expression on his face before looking up at his partner and nodding towards the door. The other vampire gave him a nod in return and went into the castle.

I took in a ragged breath, trying to calm myself. I never really expected it to go this far, I had hoped but didn’t think it would, a new wave of butterfly nervous erupted in my stomach as I tried to keep my breathing and my heartbeat under control.


Several minutes had passed, long enough for my nerves to die down, only to be replaced with despair. They were not going to let me in, and I would have to find another way to get what I wanted. All this time and planning was now wasted, and I had no back up plan.


The vampire guard must have noticed my change in demeanor, he chuckled softly with a grin “What’s your name?”


“Bella” I answered him softly, all hope and confidence from my voice “My name’s Bella” I looked down, trying to squish the urge to run away and cry.


He didn’t say anything else, we just stood there continuing to wait, in the dark and silence for someone to return with any news.


Finally after what seemed like an hour the other vampire came back out, he walked up to me, looking at the other guard and then telling me “Follow me”


I stood there, I was confused, I had been waiting out here for such a long time that I was sure I would be sent home, and when he said ‘Follow me’ it didn’t make sense. After a few seconds of both of them looking at me like I was a crazy lunatic, the guard who had been standing with me finally spoke again.


“Bella. Aro will see you now” he said slowly, as though I were a child who needed specific directions to understand, which was apparently the case.


“Oh, right. Ok” I mumbled out.


They looked at each other and shrugged before walking, one in front of me the other behind. We walked into the castle through the massive wooden doors and down several different halls, making our way deeper and deeper into the castle. After several minutes of walking we finally reached a room, I was shocked to find a human women at the reception desk. She smiled a gentle smile at me and then giggled at the vampire who walked behind me.


We walked through the last set of doors before reaching a room. It was round with three large chairs set up in the middle of the room. I recognized the men in them immediately as the vampires from a painted portrait that I once saw.


The two guards I had walked with, took me to the center of the room facing the three vampires, one standing on either side of me.


The vampire in the middle smiled a kind smile and stood up walking towards me “What is your name dear?” his voice was velvety like all the other’s I had heard, but raspy having an old sound to it.


“Bella” I said timidly, tipping my head towards him as if he were royalty.


“And why have you come here Bella?”


“I..uh..I” I shook my head, I had no idea what to say to him. I knew why I had come, and I knew what I wanted from them, but I had no idea how to explain myself or ask for what I wanted.


“Don’t be afraid dear Bella. My name is Aro, you asked for me by name. Now there must be something I can do for you, it’s not everyday a young human girl come’s knocking on the Volturi’s door asking to speak with one of the leaders.” He was still speaking softly, his words kind and curious.


“I..I’m sorry…I don’t…know what to say…where to begin….I” I couldn’t form a coherent thought let-alone a sentence.


“Why don’t you start by telling me how you’ve come to know my name and where to find me” He smiled a gentle smile.


“I knew a family, who had spoke of you and your coven.” I told him, flinching on the word family, hoping he would not ask me any names.


“Family? What family do you speak of?” he looked confused, and my chest began to writhe in pain. I had yet to speak any of their names aloud, not even a last name, and my body instinctively began to react on the impending doom, so taking the natural precaution, one that I had become very used to, I tightly wrapped my arms around my chest -in a hopeless effort to hold in and prevent the burn.


“Cullen” I whispered out as quickly as I could, wincing at the sound of the word, then tightly clenching my jaw.


“Ah, Carlisle. My dear old friend, how is he doing?” He asked apparently oblivious to my pain.


“I wouldn’t know, I haven’t seen them in two years.” I told him as calmly as I could, closing my eyes, forcing away the pain and then opening them again to look at Aro’s face.


“Ah, I see. And are they why you have come here today?”


“No.” I told him flatly -and in complete truth. They were not the reason I had come.


“And how’s that?” he asked curiously again.


“They are the reason that I know, but not the reason I have come. I came for me.” I was gaining some of my confidence back, remembering why I had come in the first place.


“You came for you? And what can we do for you, Bella”


“I want you to change me”





This is a work in progress, but while you wait you can read my other completed fan-fic here:

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awesome chapter. please keep writing. hoping for an update soon
Eve thank you for the update.......I had to read it first I didn't get it........Is Bella  telling us what happen with her when Edward left?.................interesting.........until you post again

great chapter but im sooo lost lol what happens after she reconizes emmet please update soon:)



Chapter 22: Theory

It was weird, the way his touch affected me. Even him touching my shield sent a shiver of electricity down my spine.

It's been just over a day that I started blocking everyone away from me. After what happened with Emmett I needed time alone to think.

I still don't know how I knew his name or knew who he was, but I remember him. It doesn't make any sense.

I can't recall knowing him from my past, but I recognize his face. I knew who he was by the sound of his voice though we've never had a conversation. I feel like I know him, like he's important to me, but I have nothing to draw on.

However, I have a theory.

Emmett reminds me of Felix. Almost immediately I accepted that. They are both big – in life and in size, and in very different ways look alike. Their skill is their strength and they are intensely loyal to both their friends and their family. They are big goofs who like to joke around and have a good time, and take very little do I know that? Because of Alice.

Alice, in all her yammering over the last week spent a lot of time talking about everything; including her family members. Emmett came up quite often. I know from her that 'Emmett is a big man child' and the he and Rosalie are together. His favorite game to hunt is bear and that a bear is why he is a vampire. Emmett loves sports and games and he spends a 'dumb inducing amount of time' playing his Playstation.

I know all of this and much more because of Alice. That has to be why he was so familiar to me, add that with the fact that he reminds me of Felix and voila' – Emmett equals someone I recognize.

Of course that's what I keep telling myself anyway. It all makes perfect sense. So it must be.

I knew he was still out there, I could feel him brushing up against my shield as he paced the ground, and I could hear him talking.

The land surrounding my house was wild and uneven, so even though I wasn't shielding very far out, I knew no one would be able to see my home or me as I spent the last several hours going over everything in my head, but they wouldn't know how far out they were.

I quietly left the walls of my home to walk around my property. I had to see him.

After having spent so much time with Demitri I've learned a thing or two about tracking, and even as quiet as our kind is, there are still ways to be even more so.

When I found where he was, I scaled a tree to perch on as I waited and watched his movements.

He looked distraught and unsettled as he paced the bracken floor. Every so often he would stop and look in the direction of my house, and then his shoulders would sag as he shook his head and began pacing again.

His expressions changed often too, I wished I could know the thoughts that went along with them. There were times he would look so angry; his jaw would clench as his fists balled up, I could see the dangerous vampire lurking within. While other times he was solemn and statuesque; strikingly beautiful in his affliction, a vulnerability that I've seen so rarely in our kind.

The hardest times to watch him were when he was sad. Sad – that doesn't accurately describe the look on his face; it was devastating, agonizing and empty.

I was just getting ready to leave; unable to watch any longer, when before I could he broke again. This time was the worst as I watched his face shatter in pain; I couldn't breath.

“Oh Bella.” He mourned the words. Then once again; as they had several times before, he sagged his shoulders – an invisible weight barring down on him, bowing his head and letting it fall against my barrier.

I could feel him against me, pushing on my heart as I held him up; supporting him so he wouldn't fall. It was heartbreaking.

I had to leave after that, I couldn't watch him any longer.

I slide down the tree and began to walk away and back to my house, pulling my shield with me. I felt the loss as soon as I was no longer in contact with Edward, and like I knew he would, it didn't take him but a breaths notice to start following me.

I didn't acknowledge him and he didn't say anything to me until we were at my front porch “Edward” I said before turning around.

Upon me speaking his name he took a step forward and brought up his arm to reach out for me. I put up my hand to stop him “Please, just let me say this.” He dropped his arm back down and nodded to me without saying a word.

“I know you and your family are going to try and turn this into something that it's not, and at first I was questioning it myself. But I need you to believe me when I say, I don't remember him or you or any of you, we've been over this.” I said to him, still holding out my hand so that he wouldn't speak. “I have now meet all of your family, they were all there except for Emmett. I knew who he was out of process of elimination, that's it.”

“No, Bella...”

“Please, just let me finish.” I cut him off before he could say anything more. “Alice has spent an exhausting amount of time talking during our class together, she has spoke about each and every one of you repeatedly. When I saw Rosalie, I knew Emmett wasn't far behind. He had to be close, they never go anywhere without each other, at least not for long periods of time.” I told him and then began to walk the porch in a pace.

“From everything that Alice has said about Emmett, he reminds me of Felix, both of which are pretty hard not to like.” I smiled and then turned back around to Edward to finish what I was saying. “Through Alice, I've gotten a pretty good idea about who Emmett is, and when he wasn't there with the rest of them, but showed up and addressed me the way that he had ,of course I knew it was him, who else could it have been? You all keep insisting that you know me, and that's fine, you probably did, so it's not unexpected for him, and the way he is, to reintroduce and make himself known like that.” I finished saying, and then added, “That's it. There is no other explanation.”

When I finished talking he looked at me and then started shaking his head. “You're still so stubborn Bella.” He stated while looking at me; searching my face.

I was a little shocked by his examination of me, I had been told similar things for years and knew it to be true myself, but hearing it from him was a little befuddling.

“You really believe that that's all there is to it don't you?” He again stated, but in the form of a question.

“Of course I do.” I told him, squaring off my shoulders at the challenge.

“Well, you're wrong.”

“Excuse me?” I huffed at him.

“You're wrong.” He said straightening himself. “You are so willing to accept a lie but not the truth, why? Why can't you believe what you know to be true, you know us Bella, we are familiar to you...” I started shaking my head; silently arguing with him, as he continued to talk. “I saw you, I saw the look on your face – you recognized him Bella.”

“No Edward...”

“Yes you did.” He argued back, cutting me off. “I've tried to be patient with you, hoping that you would remember on your own, hoping that you would give us a chance and let us talk to you; tell you what we know, but you keep insisting that there isn't anything.” He paused for a moment.

“That couldn't be further from the truth Bella, we love you....I..” He stopped talking, and then whipped his head towards the back of my house. The look on his face was fierce and I was momentarily confused by his sudden change in attitude, before hearing for myself the rustling as someone approached my home.

“Damn it.” Edward hissed in the direction of the sound and then grabbed a hand full of his hair and tugged on it, I've seen him do this before and now realize it is something he does out of frustration.

A second later I heard my back door open “Bella...” Demitri cooed as he came through the door. I was surprised that he was here and looked in the direction of Demitri's voice in confusion, before turning back to Edward.

His face had taken up his familiar solemn look, now etched hard while looking angry as he was looked down at me, searching my face. I couldn't look away from him, he was so intense.

I was standing in front of the big window that was in my living room when Demitri saw me “Hey, there you are, what are you doing out there....” He said and then trailed off once he opened the door and saw Edward standing in front of me. “What the hell are you doing here?” He yelled angrily.

“Back off.” Edward seethed, but didn't take his eyes off of me.

Demitri took a few steps forward and then stopped when we heard the rustling of six pairs of feet coming towards us. I broke eye contact with Edward to look towards the on coming sound and found that the rest of the Cullen's were approaching my house.

Demitri very deliberately came towards us and put himself in between Edward and I. “Bella.” He ordered he – he wasn't asking; he was telling me to put up my shield, ordering me as a Volturi guard and not my boyfriend.

I stepped around him, putting myself in between the two of them. “They aren't going to hurt me Demitri.”

Demitri's responding glare was almost enough to make me shrink back from him, but I didn't, I stood my ground and very calmly looked at Edward. “Edward here was just leaving when you showed up, weren't you Edward.”

“No, I wasn't as a matter of fact.” He spoke politely to me while he stared down Demitri.

“Bella, somebody better tell me why the hell they are here, and you better tell me why the hell you didn't notify us of their presence.” Demitri clipped out on a tight jaw.

“Demitri...” I started to say.

“Do not speak to her that way.” Edward seethed taking a step forward towards him.

Demitri smirked before saying “It's none of your business and I'll speak to her however I choose.” He barked back standing himself up a bit straighter.

“Not in my presence and I'm making it my business.” Edward told him, grinding his teeth together as his fists balled up by his side.

“Bring it. I've been itching for a reason to take you down.”

“You have no idea.”

“ENOUGH!” I yelled at both of them. “What is the matter with you two?! You have no reason to be acting like this.” I turned to look at Demitri “I will explain everything later, if you will let me.” He pulled his eyes off Edward and looked at me, then gave me a single nod and took a step back.

I turned to Edward next. “You need to go, I've already said everything I needed to say to you.”

“I haven't said everything I need to say to you.”

“I'm asking you to leave.”


“Please Edward, just go.”

He looked at me with hurt in his eyes, then he too nodded in compliance. Edward had turned and took two steps before coming to a halt and spinning back around to look at Demitri.

“Not a chance.” He said to him.

I hadn't heard Demitri say anything, but by the look on his face I knew they were having their own conversation, one that I could only hear half of.

“I'll be fighting for her too. You should know that.”

I looked back over to Edward, confused by the words he was saying. There was a short pause as Edwards facial expressions shifted around before he continued.

“I'm not taking anything for granted, and I'll be fighting twice as hard as you will.”

“Good.” Demitri finally spoke out loud, pushing himself off of the railing that he had casually been leaning against. “It's no fun beating someone who forfeits.”

“I didn't say I would fight fair.”

“Neither did I.”

“Best of luck.” Edward finished, with a smirk. He looked down at me, giving me a polite smile and a goodbye nod. “Bella.” He said and then turned around to leave with his family.

I watched after them for a moment before turning to Demitri. “What the hell was that all about?”

“That's what I'd like to know Bella, what the hell was all that about? Why are they here? How long have they been here and why the hell haven't you said anything to me about it?!!” He yelled at me.

“I was trying to figure out what they want, and I didn't want any interference.”

“Interference? Is that was you think this is? That I'm interfering!” He growled.

“That's not what I said.” I yelled back at him.

“That's exactly what you said Bella!”

“It's not what I meant! Of course you're not interfering! I just didn't want to have the guard hovering around, I wanted to find out what they wanted by myself.”

“It's not up to you to decide who should be involved or not. It's your job to notify the guard with anything like this.” He said through clenched teeth. “And you should have told me.”

With that he walked past me, angrily going into the house. I followed him not wanting him to leave.

“Where are you going?” I questioned. “Don't leave.”

“I'm not going anywhere. Unlike you, I don't hide.”

It might as well have been a slap to the face the way his words hit me, I flinched back away from him and then in a quiet and wounded voice told him “I'm not hiding anything from you.”

“You keep telling yourself that Bella.”


love it
Eve thanks for the update!!!Edward is ready to fight for Bella.........Demtri better watch his back!!!....until you post again

amazing ur the best loved it cant wait for more :)


loved it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

A/N: I've been questioned a lot about these types of chapters, so I feel the need to explain, just a little. It will be obvious why I am sticking these in here, but for now just know that they are 'flash backs' in time, and you are reading what Bella wrote in a journal and experiencing some of her past.

Chapter 21: Journal: Not you

September 16th 2006

It's been awhile since I wrote to you. I felt like I needed to give Damon a fair chance, and all my focus and attention, and writing to you wasn't allowing me to accomplish that.

These past few months have went by pretty quickly. I guess somewhere between the last time I wrote and now Damon and I got pretty serious. I'm not really sure how it happened, but it did.

I can't accurately describe how that makes me feel. I really enjoy spending time with him, even if we really don't spend that much time together. I usually only see him a few times a week, and those are the times when he comes down and stays with me.

When he's not around, I don't want him to leave, I absolutely and completely enjoy his company.

But when he's not around, I can't complain. I don't know how to explain the way I feel about him, I think he may feel more for me than I do for him. In fact, I'm almost certain of it.

I'm happy when he's around, but when he's not. I miss you.

October 9th 2006

Jake and Liz broke up, and I don't know why but that caused Damon and I to fight. We've fought before, lately, pretty often in fact, but he was so angry.

I think he might be jealous of Jacob, and now that he's not with Liz it's coming out.

Anyway, it caused a huge rift between the two of them, Damon doesn't care what people think about him, it was one of the things that first drew me to him. His take charge and 'just be' attitude, but now that same thing has caused this fight.

He didn't wait for Jacob to leave when we starting fighting about it, so Jacob being Jacob didn't take too kindly to what was being said, especially in front of him … ugh. It's such a mess.

Is it supposed to be this complicated?

I don't want to have to chose between the two of them, it's not really even a choice, I just don't want to be put in that situation.

Sometimes I wish Damon was a little more like you.

10 years ago...

Jake and I were sitting on the couch together, his head in my lap, while I ran my fingers through his hair. We hadn't done much more than watch movies and eat junk food for the better part of the day. Jake and Liz have been broken up for over a week now, and he was taking it pretty hard, he cared about Lizzie more than even I knew.

Damon came in through the door and into the living room “What's going on?” he looked at our position on the couch with a squint in his eye.

“Not a lot.” I told Damon with a sad smile, “we've sorta just been hanging out all day.”

“There's some pizza on the table if you want, it's cold by now but I'm sure it's still good.” Jake told him while rolling himself off me to sit up on the couch.

“No thanks.” Damon deadpanned.

“There's some beer in the fridge too if you want.”

“I said no thanks.” Damon clipped out the words.

Jacob must not have been paying much attention or he wouldn't have looked so unconcerned by the tone in Damon voice, I on the other hand immediately picked up on it.

“Are you alright?” I asked him.

“Great Bella. Walking on sunshine, thanks for asking.”

I looked at him skeptically, there was something wrong, he wasn't usually this brash, not with me anyway.

Jacob yawned loudly and then got up from the couch “I'm going to bed, this has been a long day.”

“K, night Jake.”

“Night Bells.” He said and bent down to kiss the top of my head. “Night man.” He nodded to Damon and then went back to his room.

As soon as he closed the door Damon asked. “What's going on Bella?”

“What do you mean?”

“With you and Jacob, what was all that that I walked in on?”

“What are you talking about Damon, we were sitting on the couch.”

“No, you were sitting on the couch with Jacob buried in your lap while you played with his hair.”

“Whoa. Where is all this coming from?”

“Jacob and Liz broke up right?”

“Yes?” I told him questioningly, not sure what that had to do with anything at the moment.

“So he's single now, and free to move on to you.”


“Oh don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about Bella.”

“I'm not acting like anything, I don't know what you're talking about. Jacob is my best friend, he has been for years.” I told him defensively. “You know that.”

“It's more than that, friends don't act the way the two of you do together. I don't act that way with any of my friends.”

“Act what way Damon? What way was so different tonight than it has been any other time, and if it bothered you so much why didn't you bring it up before. You know there is nothing going on between Jake and I.”

“Right! Bella. I know that's what you tell me. Why's he always here anyway? Doesn't he have a home? Or clothes.”

“Hey man, if you have a problem with me, then take it up with me. Stop badgering Bella about nonexistent things.”

Jacob had spoke before I realized he was out of his room, this was getting out of hand. “Alright, this is ridiculous. Jake you go back to bed, and Damon and I will talk about this quietly in my room.”

“No Bella, it's cool. Damon here has something to say to me, then lets let him say it.” Jacob drawled casually with his arms folded across his chest.

“Fine Jacob, you want to do this then lets do it.” Damon said, squaring his shoulders. “You've been taking advantage of your breakup with Liz and using it to move in on Bella. This last week you've done nothing but occupy her time and every day I walk in here or see you two together you're all wound up in on each other. What's your game Jacob?”

“I don't know what you think you are seeing, but Bella and I are just friends, she's being supportive right now, like she always is. Don't put your insecurities on me.”

“You are the insecurity Jacob, why don't you keep your hands off my girlfriend.”

“I'm not going to change the way I am with Bella or start treating her differently because of some misguided delusion on your part.”

“Your trying to weasel in Jacob, I see it.

“Your seeing what you want to see.”

“I don't want you around anymore.”

“That's not your decision to make. I'm going to tell you this one time. I'm not going anywhere. You have no idea what the two of us have been through together or who you are dealing with.” Jacob stood up straight, no longer casual, and took a step forward so he and Damon were standing directly in front of each other. Damon had to look up to see Jacobs face.

“My advice to you is for you to figure out what your real problem is, and deal with it, cuz it isn't me. And just like I told you before, you better treat her right – or I will become your problem.” He stood staring at Damon for a second before adding. “You feel me?”

“I was shaking. You've made your point.” Damon told him flippantly.

“Good.” With that Jacob went back to him room and shut the door.

“Damon, what is going on?”

“You just heard what is going on. I don't like him.”

I didn't know what to say to that, this was all news to me. I thought Damon and Jacob were getting along fine. Not once did I think my relationship with Jake was a concern for Damon.

“I'm sorry you feel that way.”

“That's it. That's all you have to say to me?”

“What else do you want me to say?”

“I want you to tell him to get the hell out of here.”

“I can't do that.”

“Why not?!”

“He's my family. If you can't handle that...then...I don't know Damon.”

There was a pause while Damon and I stared at each other.

“You decide Bella.” He told me after a moment, and then walked out the door.


October 22nd 2006

It's been two weeks since Jacob told me he'd stay at his dads for a few days. He said he'd give Damon space and hope that he figured out that one; he wasn't a threat and two; that he'd always be in my life. I guess our relationship was tricky for Liz too, but she never said anything to me, or to Jacob until the end.

I don't see what Jacob and I have as a problem, I've tried to see it from their perspective, but I don't see what they see, I don't get it? Maybe it's because I'm biased.

Damon's been better since Jake hasn't been around, he apologized for the way he acted. I hope that this break Jake is giving him will be enough to show him that we really are just friends.

I won't give up Jacob, or keep him away. He's the only thing that has made sense to me since you left, if I lost him too... I don't know what I'd do.

I don't think I could handle it, right now, I barely do as it is.

November 15th 2006

Damon found my journal. What a nightmare.

10 Years ago...

“Damon.” I called out as I walked through the door. I was just getting off from work and had gone to the store before coming home, Damon was here for a couple of days staying with me.

I went into the kitchen and put the bags of groceries on the counter and started putting them away. When I was finished I still hadn't heard anything from Damon so I called out quietly again, thinking maybe he had fallen asleep in my room.

I took my shoes off and padded down the hall to my room “Damon?” I questioned quietly as I pushed open my bedroom door.

There, sitting in my reading chair and holding my journal was Damon. I stopped dead in my tracks, unable to decide which emotion was more prevalent at the moment. I went with anger.

“What are you doing!” I hollered and went over to him and ripped my journal out of his hands.

“Just some light reading.”

“This is my personal journal, how could you read this?”

“Easy, I picked it up and opened it. Pretty heavy stuff.”

“How dare you!” I felt my anger peaking, while I desperately tried to hold myself together, my traitorous tears threatening to spill over.

“How dare I?! Are you kidding me Bella, how dare you! Have you read what you wrote in that thing? What you wrote about me?! I can't believe you write to your ex-boyfriend in your journal like this. What the hell!” He yelled at me.

“You had no right!” I cried out, the tears spilling over as I clutched the hardback to my chest.

“How do you think that makes me feel? Reading that crap about him and me and 'Jake' “ He sneered the last word. “What did you think was going to happen, that I'd be happy about it and not take offense.”

“You weren't ever supposed to read it Damon! It's my personal thoughts! You were never intended to know ANY of what I wrote in this book! I can't believe you.”

“But, you intended for Edward to read them!” He fumed “Didn't you?”

He paused waiting for me to answer and when I didn't he asked me again. “You did, didn't you. Has he already read them? What Bella?”

Another pause. “Your silence is deafening.”

“No! ok, No, He hasn't read them and he never will.”

“Then why do you write to him? What's the point?”

“I don't know” I flopped myself in the vacant chair that he had been sitting in.

“You don't know.” He snorted and rolled his eyes “Right, and I'm supposed to believe you and be ok with the fact that you're writing your ex-boyfriend and comparing me to him. That's just great Bella.”

“That's not what I'm doing.” I hiccuped the words.

“Then what is it? And skip the teen drama and just get to it” He scowled.

“I don't know what you want me to say Damon, he left me, I've never seen him again and it hurt, so I started writing about it and haven't stopped. That's it.” I said wiping angrily at my tears.

“Don't give me that goody goody crap. You're still in love with him. Its pretty obvious on those pages that you're holding onto so desperately. And you've made it pretty clear where I stand in all this too, you'd choose both Jacob and this Edward over me if it came down to it.”

“I didn't mean for this to hurt you Damon.”

“Of course not Bella, you never do.” He said, leaving me alone and crying in my room.

November 19th 2006

He knows about you now, not all of you, but he knows of you. These last few days have been horrible. He wanted to know everything, so I told him all that I could.

I haven't had to relive any of this for such a long time, it was painful. I hated it. Each time.

Having to repeat what he already knew again and again just so that he would feel comfortable with it, it wasn't fair.

And I miss Jake.

He and Damon made up, sort of, but he still doesn't come over like he used too, not when Damon's in town anyway.

He finally left today. I've never been so happy to be alone since my very first day in Forks.

I'm so angry with him for making me tell him about you, for him reading my personal thoughts with no consideration for me or my feeling whatsoever AND then to get angry with me over it?!

I don't know if I can keep doing this with him.

I've known for awhile now, for a long while, that it wasn't working. I just wanted to try, I wanted it to work, not forever. I have other plans for my forever, but for awhile at least, just so that I didn't have to be alone.

December 7th 2006

I can't do this anymore with him. I'm done.

All we do is fight. Fight about you, about Jake, about what to watch or where to go, about everything.

The thing is, is he's not a bad guy. He really isn't. He's smart and funny and sweet. He's still demanding and take charge, but I always liked that about him, I still do. He treats me great, when were not fighting that is, and he's fun. I have so much fun with him, and he's beautiful, and he thinks that I'm beautiful. He's really truly wonderful.

He's just not you.

10 years ago...

I had invited Damon over so that we could talk. We originally had plans to go out, but I can't, I can't do this anymore. He's still angry about the journal and even though him and Jacob are speaking civilly to each other, I know he still doesn't like him and it causes tension.

He came in through the door, “I'm in here.” I told him quietly from the living room. I have been pacing the apartment for the last hour trying to figure out exactly how I was going to approach this. I like Damon, I just can't be with him anymore, but I don't think we can be friends either.

“Hey.” He said coming in the room, looking at me with knowing eyes.

“Hi.” I said to him, giving him a weak smile. I couldn't look at him, so instead I looked down at my hands as I continued to ring them together.

“So, this is it then?” He said to me, making me look up in surprise.”You're finally going to do it.”

“What?” I breathed out.

“Break up with.” He laughed without humor. “I knew it was coming.”

“Damon, I...”

“Don't bother Bella. Like I said, I knew this was coming.”

“I'm sorry, I just can't do this anymore.”

“Wow. Your search for life's purpose is as obvious as it is tragic.”

“Don't be mean, I never meant to hurt you.”

“I know Bella, I really do know that.” He sat down and put his head in his hands. “I love you though. Did you know that?” He looked up at me “Probably not since I never told you.”

“Damon.” I said, sitting down on the couch next to him, tears trailing down my checks. “I'm so sorry.”

“Don't be Bell. I don't regret any of the time we've spent together.”

“Neither do I.” I told him sincerely, reaching out and putting my hands around his face. “I really do care about you.”

“I know.” He said sadly, looking into my eyes as he put a hand around the back of my head. He looked at me for a moment, and with his other hand wiped away a tear before leaning in to give me a last kiss before saying, “It's just not enough.”


I sent out a link and chapter update for New Horizon the other day. The link isn't working because the chapter isn't there.

I post on several other websites, and forgot to edit the post for this website. For whatever reason it wasn't enough for them to just take down the ONE post, or block out the ONE word, so they instead took down several of them that were very cleary NOT in violation.

I am highly frustrated with this, so until I find the time or want to re-post them, updating will not be happening on this site. This, for now is temporary, I however can not say that that will always be the case. It all depends on their response to my response about the situtation.

If you have any desire or are currently a member, you can find me on

I apologize if this has caused you any inconvience, as it has me.

Thank you always for reading and I look forward to your continued support.



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