The Twilight Saga


Edward returns to Forks to fight for a hurt and angry Bella. Not such an easy thing to do in this story. This is set after the Cullens have been away for quite a few months but before Bella makes the decision to cliff dive. I hope you enjoy the differences. A huge thankyou to Shellym127 and Wyldfyre for my wonderful banners.

Cheers
Michelle 
 Chapter One (BPOV)                 Chapter Two (BPOV)  
Chapter Three ( BPOV)               Chapter Four ( APOV)  
Chapter Five (EPOV)                  Chapter Six (EPOV)  
Chapter Seven (EPOV)               Chapter Eight (BPOV)  
Chapter Nine (APOV)                 Chapter Ten (EPOV)  
Chapter Thirty One (APOV) - Page 50 Chapter Thirty Two (BPOV) - Page 53 Chapter Thirty Three (EPOV) - Page 57 Chapter Thirty Four (BPOV) - Page 60
Chapter Thirty Five (EPOV) - Page 65
Chapter Thirty Six (EPOV) - Page 68
Chapter Thirty Seven (BPOV) - Page 71
Chapter Thirty Eight (APOV) - Page 74


Chapter One
The small pockets of warmth and hope that had been slowly finding their way into my damaged soul were threatening to disappear and it left me with a feeling of despair. Just when I thought that I had found some kind of reasonable existence – even a small tinge of happiness – I could feel that it was slipping away. Why did Jacob, my loving, fun, happy source of sunshine have to confuse our friendship for something more? Why couldn’t we just keep being friends and continue healing the broken pieces of my soul one small piece at a time through the warmth he had managed to bring to my life. Selfish, selfish. I knew it for what it was. I was being remarkably selfish to put him through this. To make him keep his distance at the same time as trying to pull his warmth into my very being. I was being unfair. He was being accepting. I should leave him alone but I really wasn’t sure that I could. I needed him to get me through this. It was only with him that I felt even remotely like myself – a shadow for sure but at least it was something beyond that awful place I was at when the other one left. I started to see the other’s face but I pulled myself away from that image and concentrated on Jacob, a different type of pain but somehow something less confronting. What choice was I going to make here? Neither choice would help. I would never love Jacob the way he wanted. Who am I kidding, I would never love anyone the way I should. I was damaged in that respect. I had known love and it had been ripped away. The darkness threatened to engulf me again. Concentrate - we are not thinking about that appalling time. Jacob. Yes Jacob. He knew that I couldn’t love him that way but he felt it might happen in time if I just let it. My choices could lead to even more heartache for him and I knew what that was like. Was I willing to put him through the emotional void I had experienced just so I could start to feel better myself? I had never been a selfish person. I had always been the one to look after others but……. I needed help and he was the only one who could give it.

“Bella. Are you home?” The front door slammed as Charlie entered the house. I quickly studied myself in the mirror. Not that I really cared what I looked like but I didn’t want Charlie to see that I had been crying again. It would break his heart if he thought that I was returning to that awful place I was at a few months ago. He was happy that I had finally managed to pull myself out of that hole and I was pretty sure that he was thanking Jacob for that in his own head. He knew I had a long way to go but I didn’t want to give him even an inkling that I could fall back into that abyss with the slightest provocation. It would hurt him. I sighed. There was always someone for me to hurt.

“Here dad”. I called as I made my way downstairs.
“ How was your day? Did you have fun with Jacob?” he enquired while he studied my face.
I pulled my face into a calm mask and answered the way I knew he wanted. “ Sure, we always have a good time together. We just hung out. You know how it is dad.”
“ When are you seeing him again?” Subtle Charlie. Why don’t you just ask me when are we going to get married and have kids so that you can be sure that I won’t completely lose it again.
“ Um. Not so sure. We are both pretty busy from here on in. You know school going back and all. I am sure it will be soon though” I added because I saw his face show a small sign of panic. “ Have to go dad the grocery store is calling or we won’t have any food. See ya.” I made a dash for the door before he could continue with the discussion and lead me to confess that not all was right between Jacob and I. It wasn’t something that I wanted to face.


Chapter Two
Life was full of mundane everyday routines and this was one of them. Grocery shopping. Thank goodness for the mundane. It let me look like I was functioning without really having to think about what was going on in all the other parts of my life. It made people think that I was surviving when all I wanted to really do was curl up into a ball and……. Not an option I told myself firmly. You are not the only person that is impacted by your choices. Charlie, Renee, Jacob, Angela. All people I loved and wanted to protect. One step in front of the other. Slowly but surely things would get better.

I had finished the shopping and was heading out to the carpark. I looked up to see that the shadows were deepening and that twilight was upon us. Twilight was his favourite time. I shuddered and deliberately made my thoughts wander from that potentially destructive course of images. When would this stop. I sighed for the umpteenth time and started to put the groceries in the boot of the car.

“ Bella”. I closed my eyes tightly. Why on earth was I hearing his voice. I was putting groceries in the car for god’s sake. I wasn’t doing anything dangerous that could lead me to hearing his voice. I wasn’t trying to be reckless on one of the motorbikes that Jacob had fixed for me. I wasn’t putting myself into any danger by talking to strange men in the middle of a quiet Port Angeles street. There wasn’t anything remotely threatening in what I was doing at all. I chose to ignore it and kept packing.

“ Ah excuse me Bella”. Now I know I am going mad. His voice was never pleasant when he spoke to me in my mind. He was always angry at me for what I was doing. What a joke. My mind obviously wanted to believe that he cared when I put myself in danger even though I knew that there was nothing further from the truth. This was different though. This was that beautiful sing song voice that I had cast from my mind when he had told me he didn’t love me anymore. When he had told me that he no longer existed. Why on earth was I hearing it now?

I slowly turned around to see what was going on. I gasped and instantly felt a fierce joy overcome me. It was instantly rebuffed however as my mind began to register what was happening in front of me. This could not be real. Edward stood about two metres in front of me, flanked by his family. Every single one of them. How could that be? Why on earth were they all here in front of me in a carpark of all places. Edward looked nervous. Alice looked elated. Jasper was worried. Emmett was smirking. Rosalie looked bored. Carlisle and Esme stood a little behind. It seemed like ages before anyone spoke. I couldn’t even grasp if this was reality or some sick fantasy. I had pushed all these people to the bottom of my subconscious in the hope of gaining some semblance of normality. Yet here they were looking as real as uniquely beautiful people can look.

I felt my hands reach across my stomach as if to protect myself. I hugged myself fiercely. This was not happening. This could not happen now. Please, please leave me alone I yelled to myself silently.

“ Bella. we were um….. that is Bella we were hoping……..” His voice trailed off as I stared at him coldly. I watched as he slumped slightly and turned to Alice for help.

Alice placed her hand on his arm and turned to me smiling. “ Hi Bella. We are so happy to see you”
Was she joking? What were they doing? Happy to see me? I had never heard anything so absurd in my life.
Alice came towards me. ‘She is going to hug you.’ my inner voice yelled at me and I reflexively placed my hands up to ward her off. I saw her stricken face as she quickly moved back to her spot next to Edward without touching me at all. Jasper grasped her hand and I knew that he was using his gift to help her. I didn’t care. I was beginning to spiral out of control. I could feel it. I needed to get out of here.

I turned back to the car and slammed the boot closed with as much ferocity as I could manage. My mind was still yelling at me to get out of there. I moved towards the car door. I still had not said a single word and I could still feel seven pairs of eyes staring uncertainly at my back.

“ Please Bella. Don’t go”. His voice was pleading. There was something there but I couldn’t quite get what it was. I was too full of my own anguish that I didn’t want to see what he was trying to do. “ I am so sorry Bella. I truly am…
“ You. Are. Sorry.” I spat out at him. He looked like I had slapped him across the face but he remained calm and tried again.
“ Yes Bella. I am sorry. I should never have left you like that. I have been….”

I could feel the red hot emotion of anger come over me. I couldn’t think straight. All I knew was that the one that had hurt me the most , the one that had ripped my heart out and left me to fend for myself was standing in front of me saying that he was sorry. What did he want from me? Hadn’t he hurt me enough?
“ You left me Edward. You made me think that you loved me and then you just decided that I wasn’t good enough for you and you…. left…. me. Do you think I care that you are SORRY. I DO NOT CARE” I yelled at him furiously and then realized where I was. The carpark. I made my voice softer but kept the anger in it. There was way too much pain involved to just let this go. “ You made your choice Edward. You made my choice for me. Not only did you take yourself away from me… you took everyone.” I glared at the whole family. Oh god how I had loved this family but now all I felt for them was anger. “ Not one of you cared enough about me to check that I was alright. Not one of you tried to keep contact”. I looked at Alice as I said this and I saw her cringe and Jaspers hand tighten on hers.

“ I’m sorry Bella” Alice moaned “ I know it seems like we didn’t care but of course we did. We just had to do the right thing”
“ The right thing, the right thing. Are you serious. You were my best friend. I loved you like a sister. I would never EVER TURN MY BACK on you” I was becoming hysterical. “ You are as bad as him. You LEFT me”
“ We did it to protect you Bella” Alice stammered. “ We were thinking of you”
“ How could going away possibly protect me Alice. How could leaving me to face the others possibly help me. Laurent, Victoria and any other blood drinking mythical creature that feels that I am their personal magnet. It’s neverending. Every sound, every shadow. Constant fear and NOONE to protect me. “ My breathing was becoming quicker and I could feel the shock oozing out of every one of them. I didn’t care. “ How was leaving the right thing to do when I couldn’t feel or breath for god knows how long?”
I caught the significant look that Alice gave Jasper and I turned on him ferociously. “ DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT CALMING ME DOWN. You have no right. Let me be. Let me feel what I am feeling Not what you want me to feel. You owe me that Jasper” Another stab in the heart for someone I had once cared for. He would never forgive himself for what he had done that helped lead us to this moment and I had just driven it home even more. He stopped though. I didn’t feel any calm just the red hot anger. It made me keep the poisoned arrows hurling at the Cullen family. “ and you Emmett. Have you come back to tease me more. Bored, are you, without the silly human to entertain you – obviously I wasn’t entertaining enough to keep around hey even though I thought of you as the big brother I had never had?”
I turned to Rosalie as she hissed at me. No one insults Emmet without earning her wrath. What could I say to her? She had never professed to care so what had she done wrong? “ At least you never pretended to care Rosalie. At least when you left you didn’t make a mockery of a friendship. There never was one between us”
I turned to attack the two remaining Cullens and felt the wind come out of my sail. I had had enough. What could I possibly say to two of the most amazing people I know. I couldn’t inflict any more hurt tonight.
“ Please stop Bella. This is not my family’s fault. They only left because I forced them to…..”

“ Do you know what Edward, I am finished. When you left me you told me to forget that you or any of your family ever existed. Well you have got what you wanted. As far as I am concerned none of you exist. Go away and leave me alone.” I turned away from all of their shocked faces and numbly placed myself in the car as I whispered “I don’t need ANY vampires in my life – NONE”

Views: 11698

Replies to This Discussion

This is good. Write more.
Thanks for the feedback guys. It's good to know that it isn't complete garbage. Here is the next chapter.

Chapter Three
It is amazing how a person can continue to walk, breath and talk even when they are putting absolutely no thought into it. Some survival instinct must kick in, allowing us to function and follow the normal course of events even though inside something mammoth is taking place, causing confusion and angst. I managed to get myself home without harming myself or others. I managed to talk to Charlie while I packed away the groceries and he didn’t appear to know anything was wrong. I even managed to shower and change before I stopped replaying the words “ This is not real, this is not real” in my head to divert my attention from the pain I knew was coming.

The quietness of my room meant I could no longer hide from myself. What on earth had just happened? Why were the Cullens back? Did they honestly think that they could come waltzing back into town and into my life or was it pure coincidence that we ran into each other in the carpark. Were they going to attempt to come back without acknowledging me at all and they were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. I tried to think about what they had with them during our discussion but I truly couldn’t think beyond their faces. Maybe they were keeping up appearances and pretending to shop. Did that mean they were back for good? Oh god what did that mean for me? Surely they wouldn’t stay now after all the horrible things I had just said. Would it make me happy when they left again? I tried to push away my initial response to seeing Edward – that fierce joy that he was actually in front of me. There was no way that joy could manifest. There was no way I was going to lose myself to him again. It just couldn’t happen!

The tap at the door made me jump. “ Hey Bells – phone for you” I had been so engrossed in my own thoughts that I hadn’t even heard it ringing. As the door opened and Charlie passed the phone through to me he must have noticed my panicked expression because he frowned. “ What’s wrong. Do you want me to tell Jacob to call back later?”

It was Jacob. A moment of relief – it wasn’t the Cullens…. but then another round of panic. What was I going to say to Jacob. Hadn’t we already been through this whole thing earlier today? I didn’t think I could handle another confrontation.

I took the phone off Charlie and sighed into the phone. “ Hi Jacob. What’s up?” I listened as my dad’s footsteps made their way back downstairs and back into the loungeroom - his favourite place in the world – and then I made myself center all my attention on my best friend.
“ Hi Bella. I was just checking that everything was ok with you. I know it got a bit intense today between us but I really don’t want to ruin our friendship. Please don’t think that you have to stay away to make me feel better. I would rather have a little bit of you rather than you taking yourself away completely.” Jacob was obviously nervous as all his words came out in a rambling mess and he wasn’t giving me time to respond.

“ Jake. I was just trying to be honest with you today. I love your company. I love you but just not in the way you want. I don’t think I can hang around you knowing that you are always going to want more and I JUST CAN’T GIVE IT!” Oh god I was getting hysterical again. This day was just getting better and better.
“ You can. Nothing needs to change. We are friends. Let’s just remain so. I am happy with that as long as you don’t leave me. I know this is all about him and I know that you are hurt but he is gone and I am not. Our friendship is important” Jacob sounded sincere. His words made me think of all the accusations I had just hurled at the Cullens. Hadn’t I just blasted them about exactly the same thing as I was now contemplating doing to Jake – my best friend, the one who had got me through. I couldn’t leave my friend. It was unfair. I was going to have to think of another way around this.

“ Ok Jake. Let’s agree to friendship. You are too important to me to lose too you know”
I felt his smirk on the other end of the line even though I couldn’t see it. “ Look Jake. I am really tired. It has been a long day and I need to sleep. I’ll talk to you later ok”
“ No probs Belles I will see you soon. Don’t forget – friendship above all else ok?”
“ Deal” I said as I hung up the phone.

I swore at myself. What kind of deal had I made with Jake. Could I honour it? Why didn’t I tell him about my meeting with Edward today? Too raw, too hard. I was fast slipping back into that terrible hole of darkness that I had been in not so long ago. It appeared that not even Jacob’s love and support were going to get me through this. I was going to hurt him. I could feel it. Also the Cullen’s were back. There was a possibility that they were not just passing through and that I would have to see Edward every day at school. I would have to look at him and know that he had left me because I wasn’t worth anything to him. That he didn’t love me. I had to accept that I could possibly lose myself again in his appeal and then have him leave me whenever he wanted. No! That could not happen. I needed to escape. I needed to try and ignore all the holes that had all of a sudden appeared again in my mind, in my chest, in my very being. All the hard work that Jacob had done to heal me had been undone within the space of a short few minutes of meeting the Cullens. I had a feeling that this time it would be even harder to climb out of that dark abyss that I was certain to fall into. I closed my eyes and allowed myself to be consumed. What was the point in fighting anymore. There were too many reasons not too and the darkness would seem so much more appealing than the pain that was sure to come in the following days.
Loved it!
Thanks Rebecca. I appreciate that you are reading it.
Chapter 4
APOV
The house was almost back to the way we had had it before we had left Forks months ago. It had been nice to be home – that is what this place feels like above all others and we had had enough homes to make a comparison with. Things had changed now and my feeling of returning home was tarnished. Bella had been so angry and rightfully so but I had never ever thought that I would see the day when loving, compassionate Bella would reject us all so wholeheartedly. Everyone had been affected and we now all stood in the dining room trying to sort through the pieces of information we had so that we could make a decision. There were so many nuances and decisions being made in everyone’s minds around me that I couldn’t pinpoint any future. It kept changing. Moving away from Forks again, staying and riding this out, the Volturi…..

“ Edward don’t even think about the Volturi.” I heard the collective gasps around me but ignored them so I could concentrate on him. “ You are not leaving us again and certainly that is not the answer to our problem here.”

Edward just looked at me bleakly. Oh, would I never see his happiness return. “ You saw her Alice. You saw her pain. You saw what I have done to her. How can I live with myself when I know that I have done this to her and to all of you? I shouldn’t exist at all. It would be better if I didn’t”
Esme was the first to Edwards side “ Edward please don’t think like that. Bella was just shocked. She wasn’t expecting us. Let’s face it we weren’t expecting her so we really didn’t go about this the right way. Things will work out. I know they will. We need to give her time. Please, please don’t threaten us with you leaving to visit the Volturi. I couldn’t cope if I lost another child” Esme was crying tearless sobs and Edward turned to put his arms around her but I knew that he was not entirely convinced. Bella meant more to him than anything, even all of us, his family, and it was going to take a lot to make him stray from the path that he was thinking of for himself. I needed to do something but what?

“ The worth of your existence is not entirely reliant on Bella, Edward. We love you too you know. I am proud to call you my son and to know that you have lived beyond the temptations and hardships that the years have thrown your way. We are going to get through this the way we always do. As a family! Bella loves us. She will return to us when she is ready. I have every faith.

Carlisles faith is what kept us all together. I just hoped that it would come through for Edward this time. Who was I kidding. I hoped it came through for all of us this time.

“ Well that was an interesting turn of events. Who knew that Bella had an inner demon inside her hey” Emmett tried to joke but no one was laughing.
“ We are going to have to leave again. I am so sorry everyone…” Edward started but he was quickly drowned out by Rosalie’s hissing and yelling.
“ She is not going to drive us out of here again. I didn’t want to leave the first time and I am certainly not leaving this time.”
Emmett put his hand on her shoulder and she glanced at him but didn’t relax.
“ You heard her Rose, she doesn’t want us here. She said that we didn’t exist for her” The pain was raw for Edward and it was written all over his face.

“ I don’t think we can leave”. That was Jasper. I thought he would be the first one to want to leave again. He felt so responsible for both Edward and Bella’s pain due to his moment of bloodlust and I knew that it had been eating away at him. I had been worried about coming back here for that reason but the thought of seeing Bella again had over ruled my concerns. I had missed her so much and Jasper was willing to try for me. He always was. How lucky was I to have such a soul mate.

Everyone was staring at Jasper waiting for his explanation. “ We can’t leave her unprotected. You heard what she said. Laurent and Victoria have been here. I felt her emotions tonight and I can tell you that anger was not the only feeling she was experiencing. She is living in fear for her life and for the life of her father. She needs our help. She needs our protection”

“ Oh my god I forgot about that. Another thing I have brought upon her. Why didn’t I just leave her alone when I first saw her? Why did I have to ruin her life by bringing vampires into it?”

“ You know why you did it Edward and none of us blame you for that. You love her and so do we. We are going to have to think of a way to help her, even though she doesn’t want us around.”

Edward continued to look dejected. He was always going to take this hard but we had hoped for a different outcome when we had decided to return to Forks. When Edward had finally come to us and said that he couldn’t stand it anymore, that he had to be with Bella, we had all jumped at the opportunity to return to Forks and we were ecstatic that he had finally come to his senses. Edward had been away from us for so long and we were all missing him and worried for him. It felt like he had just disappeared from all our lives. Any kind of future I saw for him was bleak as he wasn’t making any kind of decision that involved us. He was so intent on hunting Victoria that he had become obsessed. Every thought he had was about getting at her and maybe making amends for the decision he had made to leave Bella. He had thought that this was the least he could do for her. How ironic that the whole time he was hunting Victoria she was really back here in Forks trying to get at Bella. I wonder why she hadn’t succeeded yet. I was eternally grateful that she hadn’t but it was a huge mystery as to why Victoria would even have to slow down when it came to killing a human. She was quick, strong and vindictive. As far as I knew there wasn’t anything in Forks to stop her clear path to Bella. She had left her run too late now - we were back. There was no way any of us would let her anywhere near Bella. Bella didn’t realize it yet but she would now have round the clock care – I had no doubt about that.

“ You are not wrong there Alice” Edward responded to my unspoken thoughts “ That animal is not going to get anywhere near Bella. I will tear her head off myself before she touches even a hair on Bella’s head” He headed for the door. I imagine he was first on the roster. He was off to Bella’s house to be on patrol. Each of us would take our turn.

I grinned to myself. That was my Edward. His protective nature was coming out in force. He might be upset about Bella’s rejection and anger but there was no way we would be leaving now and there was no way he was going to leave to visit the Volturi when he had Bella to look after. Relief ran through me at this thought but it was quickly followed by my own feelings of rejection. How was I going to get Bella to forgive me. It was pretty obvious to all of us that she was really hurting. She had looked shocking, like she hadn’t taken care of herself, like there was no point. I had to find a way to get my best friend back but I knew it wasn’t going to be easy. Nothing worth it ever was.
Loved it!
Am trying but I am not overly good at this so it is taking a while. Hopefully soon Cheers
I luved it totally!!!!!!!! plez keep me updated. i knw its alot of work cause im doin 1 too.
wow love it
wow this is really good can u aDD ME N UPDATE ME WHEN U WRITE MORE PLZ
LOVE IT SOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH
love it

RSS

© 2014   Created by Hachette Book Group.

Report an Issue | Guidelines  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service