When life takes a turn for the worst... love heal old wounds?
During New Moon.
Give it a chance.
I own nothing
I shrieked as his razor-sharp teeth sunk through my skin.
We had lost. He had me.
My throat was burning with his venom. First warm, warmer still, way too warm. I was burning hotter that I could ever remember. I could remember tripping over a hot coal by the fireplace, accidentally running my fingers through the flame on a candle, but that was simply Luke-warm compared to this.
I heard a low-pitched growl. Keening. Screaming. Cursing?
Why wasn’t I dead yet? Laurent had gotten me and I should be dead. I WANTED to be dead. The fire raged inside of me as I shrieked and writhed but there was worse pain still. Edward.
Edward, Edward, Edward.
I cried out, not for the burning inferno this time, but for him. My love, my soul, my heart, my everything. He was gone, gone, gone. He didn’t want me. He left me here and now I was dying.
WHY WASN”T I DEAD YET???
I’m done with this. I’m done with this empty life. I’m done.
I stared into the night.
I saw nothing.
Nothing but her.
I had been here for the last three months. Staring. Remembering. Sobbing without tears. More staring.
Life was gone. Done. Nothing.
I was about to break down again when my phone buzzed.
The 17th time in 3 minutes.
It might be something important.
I numbly took out my phone.
It was Alice.
I felt the first spark of emotion I had felt in months.
Not much but it was better than nothing.
“Alice? Is everything alright?” I couldn’t help how flat, bored my voice sounded. Even to me.
“Edward.” she sounded relieved. Strange.
“What Alice? What’s wrong?” Something was wrong, I could tell by her tone. Why would Alice be concerned with me? She knew I would be staring at nothing for the next eternity. That’s all I planned on doing.
“Edward, it’s Bella.”
Her name stabbed strait through my cold heart. I couldn’t understand at first why my breath was ragged, my throat was burning, my eyes were pricking, my heart…. Shattering.
“Bella?” I whispered.
“Yes, Edward. She’s……. she’s…..” she hesitated. Not long but long enough to ignite my irritation.
“SHE’S WHAT, ALICE?!?!” I sprang to my feet, my emotions raging in a wild storm.
“She’s becoming a vampire, Edward. One of us.” She spluttered out.
Oh. My. God.
I couldn’t let her words into mind. My Bella, her soul gone.
No no no no no. Not possible. Right?
But if it’s already done…..
I fought back the rising hope in my chest.
“How, Alice?” I barely whispered it.
“Laurent.” Alice responded, she was saying little, letting me soak it in.
I couldn’t keep back the next question.
“Forks. Um…. Your meadow, more specifically.”
I hung up the phone with a flick of my fingers.
I stood there, staring again.
I remembered my decision. So long ago sitting on a rotting log I had decided to leave her. My life. My love. My Bella.
What had my intentions resulted in?
The exact thing I had most feared.
My worst nightmare.
Without my solid argument for staying away, I was wavering. There was no reason for me to stay away. She would need help through her newborn year. I knew she didn’t want to be a monster. I would protect her from herself.
Unless, of course, she didn’t want me back.
I couldn’t blame her if she screamed and ran as soon as she saw me because I was truly a monster who didn’t deserve her anyhow. Either way, I was not going to stand here like an imbecile and never find out.
I shrieked, writhed, and shook as the fire engulfed my body.
WHY ON GOD’S GREEN EARTH AM I STILL LIVING?!?!
I should be dead and I wanted it.
“Please.” I panted to no one in particular. The pain was so intense.
“Bella?” a husky voice called “Oh my god, Bella. Please, no!”
Jacob? Was that Jacob? What was he doing here? Oh but thank heavens he was.
I frantically searched around me.
“JACOB!” I screamed.
“Bella I’m here. I’m right here.” his soothing voice was strained with emotion.
Where? Where was he?
It was only then that I realized my eyes were shut tight. I felt his hand on mine.
I pulled my eyelids open and grabbed him by the collar.
“Kill me, Jacob please.” I begged. “Make it stop!”
I growled and shrieked in the pain.
He ripped my fingers off his shirt and stumbled back a few feet.
“Bella.” He only mouthed my name, staring at me with the weirdest expression. He was terrified, completely horrified by me. He back away a few more feet, stumbling.
I reached for him, still screaming. I needed him to kill me, end this torture.
But, as I did, he turned and sprinted away. Not looking back.
Just then, like a gift from above, the pain began to subside.
I was running faster that I had in my entire life. I was running for my entire life. For Bella.
I ran wildly through Seattle, the forest, Forks.
Now, running towards her, my life felt almost….. Right. Like my soul had been needing this to be complete. Needing her.
I tore through the forest, closing in the last few miles.
And the I heard it.
The frantic beating followed by an ear piercing, bloodcurdling, heartbreaking scream.
I skidded to a stop, listening to her tortured cries.
Something inside of me clicked into place a I heard her voice, as horrible as the situation was.
I smiled wider than I had in so long.
I was sobered again by another shriek. My smile faded.
My Bella. In agony.
I raced forward and stepped into the meadow.
My mouth fell open and I dropped to my knees.
There she was, my angel, writhing in utter agony.
She lay in a circle of barren nothing for she had ripped all the foliage from around her in her frantic wails.
I slowly approached her, crawling. She took my breath away .
Her eyes were shut tight as she jerked and panted.
Something snapped. Probably my heart.
She was in agony. Agony I could remember to extreme detail and all I could do was stand here and watch. My head fell into my hands. Oh God please, please give me her pain! I’ll take it a billion times over.
She shrieked again.
Automatically, stupidly, I reached over to take her hand.
My skin burned and tingled where our skin met, though she was more my temperature now.
Simultaneously, her eyes shot open and she gazed right at me.
My chocolate pools of questions were gone, replaced by a shocking ruby.
She stared at me with wide eyes, wide beautiful eyes, still jerking and writhing. No screaming.
“Bella.” I spoke to the one person on this planet I swore I never would again.
She couldn’t respond, I knew that. She continued to stare as the last few beats of her heart raged on. She grimaced, writhed, and choked but did not scream.
My brave girl.
My girl was burning as my heart was breaking. Watching her in this agony was beyond painful. Beyond the changing flame. Beyond these last few months.
This was the definition of excruciating.
I felt so useless as I sat here, stroking her hand. Her fingers. Her wrists. My same temperature now.
“Ed--- ward?” she grunted before shrieking to a volume not known to man.
Her heart stuttered and faltered.
She was still.
The fire jerked and pushed me against the ground, growing hotter in my chest. I was slowly able to fell my fingers and toes though the fire just collected in my heart, growing unbearably hot.
I shrieked again.
Suddenly, unexpectedly, something shocked my fingers.
My eyes flew open, surprised at the tingling, almost burning sensation against my new, marble skin.
The world stopped, everything halted, as my eyes grazed across the one thing on this planet I truly wanted more than anything else.
My burning heart swelled and despite the clawing pain that raged within me, I was free, painless, as I looked into his topaz eyes I had been missing so much.
I was quite aware of the fire thrashing me about, but I couldn’t feel it. I felt no pain as he stroked my hand, eyes broken and sorry.
He came back. For me.
He realized he really did want me forever.
Or he heard about this, this nightmare I was living and thought it was his fault he didn’t protect me against this.
No, no. My heart argued with my head. My heart was loosing for my brain was much more powerful now, more room to think. To think of why he came back.
My heart’s defense crumbled under the heavy thoughts.
“Ed--- ward?” I choked out.
As soon as I said his name I knew my head was right and the pain returned, spearing through me with pain past this horrid fire. This pain combined with the flames was absolutely staggering.
I shrieked one last time with everything I had before I heard my heart stutter and fall silent.
She lay there completely still and silent, eyes closed as I knelt beside her.
“Bella?” I whispered softly. “Bella, can you hear me?”
I knew I should be cautious, newborn vampires were extremely dangerous. However, if she were to hurt me, I would deserve it. Look what had come of my efforts to keep her human.
Her eyes slowly fluttered open as she woke from her torture.
She lifted her hand from mine and cautiously brushed her finger against my cheek, eyes confused.
“It’s me, love.” I held her sweet hand to my face. Her scent no longer burned my throat in the need of her blood. It did, however, burn deep inside me, smoldering in my heart.
Her rich ruby eyes were not happy as she gazed into my eyes. Had she moved on? Did she hate me now?
“Bella, I’m so sorry.” I apologized, she sat up next to me, our faces only inches apart. She was breathtaking.
She said nothing, just gazing into my eyes the most heartbreaking expression.
“Bella,” I took her other hand, “You have to understand why I left.”
Her face immediately became broken, coming to the wrong conclusion.
Yet she didn’t flinch away.
Why couldn’t I read her mind now? She was one of my kind.
I hurried to explain.
“No, no. I left, Bella, to let you have a normal, happy, human life. I could see what I was doing, dragging my shadowy reality into your life where it didn’t belong. You deserve so much more than me. So much better.”
“I didn’t want to leave you here, unprotected. I thought it was going to kill me to say goodbye to you. My everything.” I squeezed her hands.
“But, then you,” I flinched, forcing out the words, “you believed me so quickly. In less than one heartbeat I could see you really, truly thought I didn’t want you anymore.”
“As if there were any way for me to exist without needing you.”
I grinned half-heartedly at her.
“Now, if you have found a way to exist without me, as I intended, you are completely free to be on your way. But, know I will always love you and you have a place in my family if you want it.”
I stabbed deep inside me to tell her she could go free. I wanted to scoop her in my arms and kiss her with a passion I was unable to when she was human. But I couldn’t, she just stared at me, deep in thought. I couldn’t wait. I simply had to ask.
“Bella?” she refocused on my face, her beautiful head cocking to the side as I lifted her chin to gaze into her eyes. “I have to know, after all of the horrible things I’ve put you through, can you still love me?”
Her eyebrows pulled together in confusion before intuition flashed in her eyes. A slow smile lit her face.
In less than one-tenth of a second, her lips were pressed against mine, so sweetly yet so forcefully. Happiness flooded every part of my body so potently I wasn’t sure I’d live through it. My hands weaved into her hair as I let all the pent up passion for her flow into our kiss. All the months I had to contain myself to keep her safe. The last few months of torture as I kept myself away from her. She wasn’t breakable anymore. I kissed her with a passion I had never felt in my entire century of life. Or whatever this was.
And she kissed me back.
She poured her entire soul into this kiss. Her lips were holding their own with no fear of my hesitation and no weakness of needing air. She kissed me, matching my own passion.
However, as a newborn, her emotions and reactions were wildly out of check. She accidentally pushed me back, tackling me, and landing on top of my chest.
A silver sound that rang victoriously in my ears.
She move her lips from my mouth to my ear.
“I love you.”
Three words that meant the world.