Chapter 18: http://login.fanfiction.net/story/story_preview.php?storyid=5619827...
Ok do NOT ask me why i put it in two parts i just did! lol I feel like its two stories in one and i don't want to make another chapter with part 2 so its Chapter 19: Part 1 and 2. lol so enjoy, its about 7 pages on word :)
Phasing Moon Chapter 19: Unraveling secrets
Edward drove us through the darkness of the sleeping Forks. My hands fisted in front of me and more tears ran down my face. I tried to be as silent as possible; Edward doesn’t deserve to hear my pathetic weeps of my sorrow heart. All I heard from him was sharp intake of breath, obviously annoyed with me.
“Just say it and get it over with, Edward” I choked through my sobs. He might as well just rip my heart out right now. I sniffled as quietly as possible but still so loud inside the silent car.
He took another deep breath. “Let me just start from the beginning.”
I looked wide-eyed at him. I wasn’t expecting this.
Edward kept his eyes on the road as he spoke. “I’ve always been afraid to tell you this, it may frighten you” Tears glided down my cheeks as my eyebrows furrowed. What had he meant? There was nothing about Edward that could ever frighten me. “You know how our family has told you of how vampires thirst for human blood?” I nodded slowly. “Well...when I met you...your blood was...different” his voice became strained.
“I...don’t understand” I said, my voice raw.
“Of course you don’t” he sighed. “Long ago when I first met you, I never realized how hard it was...to be near...you” Edward choked at the end and tightened his hands on the steering wheel. “Your scent...it was the most....delicious...I’d ever smelled...you made other human blood look so bland” he sped up at the end, and then he couldn’t stop. “I ran away, fast. Alice saw you dead....in my arms. I ran as fast as I possibly could, out of state. I ran to protect you. The instinct to go back and take your life was almost irresistible-” I winced but he continued his fast monologue. “I stayed over the night at a little place, thinking of what I would do. I didn’t know I could be near you without hurting you myself. The thought of you dead because of me was impossible, I wasn’t going to kill you, or at least I didn’t want to. Alice found me later and convinced me to come back, you were going to be part of the family, I was beyond furious with her. I didn’t want you in my family if it meant I had to deal with your scent. She fought with me then, defending you, making me come with her. We made it back to the house and I met you formally for the first time. I was so afraid of hurting you, but I kneeled down, you stared at me and unbelievable smiled. You were precious to me then, you’re precious to me now. You don’t realize how fragile you are, I could mean to touch your face and then crush your jaw my hand” He winced while I stared at him, wide-eyed. I was causing him pain...
“Does it...hurt for you to be with me...now?” I asked slowly
“It’s not as hard as it used to be” Edward picked out his words carefully. We remained quite in the car. I had been causing Edward so much pain, and I hadn’t even realized it. Each embrace, each kiss, was hurting him. My heart fell into pieces for my love.
“Edward” My voice was thick with agony, “I’m so sorry...” New tears formed, not for my pain, but for his.
Each and every time he would see me, he’d feel like he would be burning alive.
His head shot in my direction. “You’re
sorry? For what
?” his voice was furious.
“For hurting you....” I said, confused.
“Bella” he shook his head in frustration. “Honestly, what are you thinking?” Then my thoughts were just a wave of confusion inside my head. He didn’t turn me down? He didn’t say he’d rather die than love me? He didn’t even accuse me of loving him? What was going on? He was acting like himself, a little agitated, but still same old Edward.
“..I’m just confused...I mean I don’t understand to why you’re so...angry....with me...” I trailed off. Why would he be angry with me for concerning his pain?
“I’m not angry with you
” I looked at him incredulously. Sometimes, he never made sense. What was he angry for? I stared at him with a faint fury growing inside. He saw my look and smirked. “How could I ever
be angry with you? It’s Impossible. I’m not angry Bella, I’m frustrated
. I don’t know how your mind works. It’s still so foreign to me, to not know what you’re thinking” He stared at me with his deep gold eyes.
I looked at him and lost my thoughts once again tonight. Then I realized he wasn’t looking at the road. “Keep your eyes on the road!” I yelled with shakiness in my voice.
He chuckled, leaving me in the dust of his outrageous mood swings again. “As if I would let anything
happen to you, Bella” My heart skipped a beat. He didn’t want anything to happen to me. He was silent for a few minutes. I felt the mood in the air dropped to a forlorn state. “But it doesn’t execute the fact that I
could hurt you. I’m but safe for you, Bella. I’m not good
for you, Bella.” His voice was a dead monotone.
My heart dropped inside my chest, and then I couldn’t find it. My hand automatically found my torso. Pain washed away all the happy feelings I once had for such a short second. Then I couldn’t stop the new tears of anguish from washing my face. I shook my head slowly, mechanically, not understanding what he is saying.
“You’re...wrong” I said, fighting my uncontrollable cries. My fist rubbed hard into my eyes, fighting the constant pain that filled me and spilled over my cheeks. “I don’t care if you’re dangerous...it doesn’t matter to me.” Every single syllable that came from my mouth was nothing but the purest truth from my heart, as pure as water, as pure as light, as pure as the tears in my eyes.
The car then accelerated, so much my back was pressed against the leather seat so hard I couldn’t move. Edward began growling and sped us East, away from my rainy hometown. He didn’t say another word after my statement. He can’t do anything to make me not love him, even fury only made him more beautiful.
My mind wandered into Shakespeare’s world of Romeo and Juliet
. I wondered if Juliet would ever have to worry about Romeo’s feelings for her. Throughout the play, there was no doubt of their undeniable love and devotion for each other but what if it wasn’t so easy for them? What if they couldn’t just say their feelings for each other? What if Romeo wanted Juliet to be safe and not tell her he loves her for their families’ sake? What would Juliet do then? She wouldn’t give up, I know that well enough. If she couldn’t convince Romeo that it was okay, what would she do? I knew the answer: it could never happen in my fantasy world of Romeo and Juliet.
Juliet didn’t have to deal with problems of her love such as safety or not even being sure. It seemed like my favorite play couldn’t help me now.
Within twenty minutes, we were in Port Angeles. Why were we in Port Angeles? I looked over my furious Romeo. He kept his eyes on the streets until he came near a dark area of the road. He screeched the car to a stop at the curb, making my heart jump into my throat.
All I could hear were his angry growls but there was something else, a hint of another emotion. His face started breaking into a mask of agonizing fury. Realization hit me that he was growling and crying at the same time. My love...was hurting... His tears replaced mine and oozed down my face. I couldn’t hold back now as I let out a loud whimper. I put my hands against my face, letting the pain take over my system, all I could see what darkness of my empty chest. The electricity around Edward and I that usually immersed was now out, I felt nothing but the rising agony within me.
Edward’s growls began to cut off as I continue to weep miserably. After a few minutes, his icy hand found of mine from my face. I tried my hardest to keep him from taking it but he did and held it in both of his. After a moment, my hand was free and he was opening my door. I looked up from my teary hands. His face was just as agonized as mine.
“Bella” he said as I hiccupped my tears. “I need to show you something” He held out his hand and I ignored it and wrapped my arms around his neck. I could care less if he’d try to pull me away, all I needed for comfort was him. I sniffled in his scent and it immediately started calming me down. His careful hands took my arms and untangled me as hurt filled my empty chest. He looked at me in the eyes; his usual gold warm eyes were now empty, endless pits. More tears for him filled my eyes. His head leaned into my face and my breathing sped up. He ever so lightly pressed his lips against where my tears were. The red in my cheeks would cool when his glass lips would touch it. He laid his forehead against mine; all I could feel from him was pain and anguish. I would do anything to wipe that look off his face. “Come” he told me, his voice full of dread.
He slid an arm around my waist and held me protectively to his side. I let my head drift onto his chest as he walked us into the city lights of Port Angeles. A few strangers who passed by would stare at my face and try not to grimace. I wondered what my face looked like. I rubbed my hands over my eyes and only then I saw black on them. Ugh, really, Alice?
Edward walked us down the streets quietly until we came to a stop at the end of the road. He took my hand and put it against his cheek, one of my greatest desires was granted. His face was smooth as satin over glass on my finger tips and cold faint sparks rose from his cheek.
He closed his eyes as he spoke. “I can’t be warm...” and put his other hand on top of mine on his cheek. The veins in my hand froze. “I can’t be soft...” He pressed his hand against mine, it was hard as stone. Then he took my head and laid it against his quite heart. “I can’t be...” he released my hair. “...human...” his voice had a hint of anguish in it. I looked up and he looked down at me with grave eyes.
He slid his arm around my waist again and led us down the street once again. We stopped in front of an Italian restaurant, “La Bella Italia” and looked through the window.
He led his white finger touch the glass and showed an old couple sitting together, looking at each other lovingly. “I can’t grow old with you, Bella.” He whispered in my ear. His cold hand moved across the scene to a couple. A young man and woman, the woman cradling her basketball belly. The man put his hand atop of hers and lightly kissed her lips. “I can’t have a family with you” his cold breath wept against my neck, making me shiver. The guy caressed the girl’s cheek carelessly, she smiled in warmth. He squeezed her cheekbones for a second then let go as she giggled. “I ...can’t touch you like that...”
Edward let go of my waist, and looped off to the street. He wasn’t running away from me. Fury soon took over my empty pain as I followed him, tripping a few times. “Now you listen to me, Edward Cullen” I called to him and he stopped so I could catch up to him. He turned his anguished face to me, left over light from the restaurant rested on half his face. His golden eyes glinted a strange glow from the light. “It doesn’t matter to me.” I didn’t let him walk away from me, so I kept speaking. “I’m willing to give up all of that for you. I don’t need that if I have you.” I just practically declared love to him and he strode toward me, his hand lightly stroked my cheek, small sparks evaporating from his fingertips.
“So is that what you dream about? You want to be with a monster?” His eyes searched mine. “It should
matter to you; you should
worry about your safety”
I shook my head against his palm. “It doesn’t matter. I’m not afraid of you.” I told him, looking at him passionately in the eyes.
be. A normal human being should
be.” He told me, frustrated.
“I’m not normal, I was raised by vampires” I told him raising my eyebrows. He should know I’m beyond normal.
“Bella, I could hurt you” He whispered brokenly to me, hopelessly trying to convince me to not love him.
“No...You only fear that but in truth, you can’t. It would hurt you too much for me to be hurt” I told him what I’ve seen. His face when I had my appendicitis, when he thought I was going to be gone. He only fears
of hurting me, but he couldn’t. “..and you’re not a monster. You’re the exact opposite.” I told him, carefully putting my shaky hand on his cheek.
He looked me, his eyes changing to a calmer mask. “You’re willing to risk your life to be with me?” he asked me softly
“Yes” I said right away. “There’s nothing more I want.” I told him; unbelievably close to saying I loved him. I already said I wanted him for god sakes! But I had to make sure he was happy, and I still had my doubts. “I understand if you don’t want me”
Fury glowed in his golden eyes. “How could you possibly
Have my ears been cut off? Or am I just hearing things? “W-what?” I asked of him.
He sighed; His hand moved to my hair and pulled me into his chest. “Isabella Marie Swan, that’s the most absurd
thing you’ve said yet
. How could you assume my feelings for you?”
“What are you talking about, Edward? I don’t understand” I shook my head and looked up at him.
He rolled his eyes down at me. “How hard
is it for you to see how much you mean to me? Honestly, how hard
? How could you not see how important you are to me? How much it would hurt me to see you hurt?” He asked of me. “Really, Bella, what are you thinking?”
Both his hands caught my face and held it to his.
“Bella” He shook his head gently against mine. “How could such an absurd beautiful creature like you not see how I feel?” my cheeks burst into flames. My heart stuttered in anticipation. “Isabella,” His musical voice caressed my name like feathers. “You are the most important thing to me in this world. I cannot live in a world where you don’t exist, it’s not possible.
Did Edward just declare himself to me? Something warmed inside my chest and thumped heavily. My heart had found its way back to me. My legs felt like butter and I clutched to him for support. My breathing turned into short breaths of incredibility. Tears of love fell from my cheeks. He loved me. That was all my thoughts were. Edward loved me.
“I can’t either...you mean everything to me. I’d rather die...than stay away from you.” And it was true, if I couldn’t be with Edward than you might as well just kill me. I don’t need my life without him.
And so he chuckled. “How ironic isn’t it? The lion fell in love with the lamb” He smiled down at me.
I smirked through my tears. “What a stupid lamb”
He laughed, catching my tears as they fell. “What a sick, masochistic lion”
We smiled at each other. The dark and grave look from his eyes had been replaced with love and happiness. I felt my face reflect his.
“Let’s go home” He said, He pulled my to his hard chest and his cold breath washed over my hair. Home:
I liked the idea of that. Then Edward winced.
I looked up at him, confused. “What?” he had a insultingly beautiful smirk painted on his face.
“Yes, we should get you home” He grinned as he dramatically pinched his nose with his index and thumb finger.
I laughed and slapped his chest. Ouch. It was like hitting a rock. “Ow”
Edward anxiously took my hand and examined it, while I rolled my eyes at him. He put my hand against his icy lips. Shocks overtook my hand as he held it to his face. He was so much more comfortable with touching me. But was I more comfortable with touching him. I slowly took his unused hand and held it to my face and it sent sparks through my cheek. My eyes fluttered closed and I laid my face in his palm. He let go of my hand only to put his other against my face. His breath caressed my face as he kissed my forehead... the bridge and tip of my nose...flashbacks of my dream flashed behind my eyelids...his breath tingled on my lips. It was almost impossible to resist pressing my lips against his but I held completely still. His lips moved to my chin, then down my jaw. I let out a shaky breath of lost anticipation.
He quickly released me but keeping his hand in mine.
“Too much?” I asked him, hiding my hurt feelings
“I just needed a moment. It’s a lot to take in” he grinned at me showing his sharp teeth.
He pulled us silently to the car. His mood swings always left me dazed, so many tonight than there had been in my seventeen years of life. How was it possible for Edward to love me? Why was I so interesting? He helped me into the car and was opening his door after he closed mine.
Then, before I knew it, we were speeding off into a bright fate.
I sat back in the leather seat, dazed. This is not what I was expecting: Edward to love me back. Maybe I was dreaming. Yeah, that’s it, I’m dreaming. It was ironic how I expect Edward to be a dream but he’s so real at the same time. Was he? As I contemplated this, Edward reached over and twined our hands together. Shocks I couldn’t possibly make up burst through my body. I sucked in a sharp breath. Yes, he was definitely real.
More silence filled the car except for the purr of the engine. I let out a soft breath and let myself drown in content. Edward’s hand squeezed mine and he groaned. “Honestly
Bella, what are you thinking? It’s driving me mad” He moaned.
I blushed, loving the way he said my name. “I’m trying to believe this is real. I’m trying to wrap my head around the fact that you could love me” I blurted out the truth without even realizing it. I looked away, biting my lip.
To my surprise, he chuckled. “I’m trying to wrap my head around the fact you
could love me
” He said, chuckling again and I looked over to see him shaking his head in disbelief.
” I demanded of him. “What part
of me could possibly hold your interest?” Now I was frustrated.
He let his eyes roll to me, his eyebrows rising. “Really, Bella? You realize you don’t see yourself clearly, correct?” he laughed again
“That makes two of us” I muttered to him.
I saw him smile at the road. His hand slid up my arm, leaving a warm tingly trail in its path, and to my shoulder, resting it on my cheek. “I could make a whole list of how you hold interest to me and it still
wouldn’t be enough for me to explain.” A flame was drawn upon his hand where it rested.
“So could I” my hand moved to his and pressed it to my cheek. I drew a deep breathing, gorging myself in his wonderful smell.
“Let’s face it Bella, neither of us are going to win this argument” he smirked at me.
My heart burst in my chest. “True” I breathed. His hand slid back to my, twisting our fingers together once again.
We began voyaging through the forest, dark vines snaking through the night. In minutes we were arriving at our big white home. We pulled into the dark garage and I became blind. The engine turned off, Edward’s hand left mine, only to be opening my door in seconds, and helping me out again. I felt through the darkness and wrapped my arms around him. The door slammed and he put both his arms on me as well and walked us into the house.
Chapter 19 part 2: http://www.thetwilightsaga.com/group/fanfiction/forum/topics/phasin...