Chapter 2 (READ IF YOU HAVEN'T READ IT!) : http://www.thetwilightsaga.com/group/fanfiction/forum/topics/phasin...
Sorry I've been really busy with school and all lately but yeah I have a week off next week so yeah more time to write! This is all from EPOV. This is Edward's pain after leaving the house in chapter 2. -Sigh- it was hard writting his pain but it had to be done so don't kill me! I love Edward! I just had to do it! but dw it'll be better :) Feedback is very much appreciated so yeah read and comment! thanks! :)
The last song is more of an Alice song lol
Chapter 3: agony
Everything kept passing my perpetual vision. Little animals scurried or flew away from my furious form. I was surprisingly jealous of those creatures, at least they could get away from their fears just like that, and I had to have it complicated. Twigs and large tree branches snapped loudly as I ran them over in my fast, straight path.
I have to keep going,
I thought to myself. So long as everyone else is safe, especially that baby. As soon as I thought of her I saw that blanket and the scent –still in my head as if she was right here- made my throat burst to flames again. It only made me run faster from Forks; From home; From family.
I knew someone would come and look for me, Carlisle or Alice most likely. I didn’t have a chance to talk about it with Carlisle though he had a pretty good idea to why I was about to pounce.
I only crouch like that while I’m hunting a mountain lion; only this creature was much, much more appealing. The lion was water, the baby was the alcohol, and I was the drinker.
Carlisle didn’t see this coming and Alice didn’t have time to tell him, my mind was made up, if it weren’t for Carlisle, it would have been too late for that girl. I winced at the thought of ending her life and shivered at how her blood would taste...
I ran impossibly faster than before, even humans could probably see my straight path through the forest. I may have set some leaves on fire from friction but the rain would douse the small flames.
I ran until the sun was off the western horizon. I was looking out to a river; my straight path was in the direction east, so I must be Idaho somewhere. The lake was probably Coeur d’Alene. I sighed. The river sparkled as the moon crept through the clouds. I pulled my legs up and wrapped my arms around them and rested my chin on my knee, looked out into the vast, black water.
I felt like a weak fool. How could I let one little human creature drive me away from my home. I already knew the answer to that, she smelled so luscious. The memory of the smell made my throat burn so much my white hands clawed into my arm, almost making them hurt. I had to resist from getting up and running back to Forks.
I was in my own personal hell, writhing in pain. All I could see was that little girl, dead in my arms. I dug my nails harder into my skin so much it hurt and growled under my breath.
I stayed there for hours, swimming in the pain I was in. I felt like I was going to drown and give up, go to Forks, and kill her. Several times I had to stop myself from getting up and running. I would squeeze my eyes shut and I would see the blanket, the scent would hit me and then I would open my eyes and resist again. My growls became louder and my breathing became ragged. If my eyes could tear, they would. I couldn’t let this creature allow me to be away from my life.
I clenched my teeth together at how weak I was. I should be able to resist. I cannot take the life of the child. But her blood...
The monster inside me grumbled. I must resist The more noble side of me growled back. I moved one of my hands to hair and pulled at it, then rain my fingers through it, then sighed.
Rapid, small footsteps approached, I jumped up and crouched.
“Relax, Edward, it’s just me” Alice’s chirpy voice said.
As soon as she spoke, her scent floated up my nose. I usually would be prepared when I heard her thoughts, I was too distracted though. Then, the child’s scent was mixed with Alice’s scent. I held my breath. Resist I commanded of myself.
“Sorry, Alice, I didn’t hear your approach.”
“Obviously” She mumbled as she stepped out of the bushes.
She examined me for a moment and her guarded eyes turned to concern. The image of the girl popped into her head, I ignored the scent the best I could and studied her. She had long dark brown hair with a hint of a red tint in it. Her cheeks were flushed red with a small smile showing her white teeth. Although, her eyes are what caught my full attention, they were big, brown and bewildered. I feel like I could stare deep into them forever, they just seemed to go on and on. I wouldn’t lie, she was adorable. A small smile played on my lips despite the pain.
sorry. I didn’t really have time to think about it” Alice said dropping her eyes to the ground.
“That makes two of us” My eyes narrowed. “Well, it’ll end eventually when we find her a family-“Alice’s eyes grew wide and I saw her memory as she slipped what she was hiding from me. Everyone was smiling and agreeing to keep
the child. Keep
that human that was causing me so much pain. It just made that monster keep
I growled at her menacingly
Her head shot up and her expression turned to anger with a hint of something else. “It’s too late, Edward” Her vision hit me the same time she explained. “She’s part of the family. We can’t give her up.” I identified the unknown expression as it became more distinct on her face. It was protective. She was protecting
. My teeth clenched together so hard it could cut through granite.
I growled louder than I had all night.
“You have to understand” Alice eyes turned to pleading “I...” she hesitated “I already love her....everyone does...” She choked. “and...” She looked me straight in the eye with confidence. “You’re going to love her too” The vision was the entire family closed up on Bella in her sixteen or seventeen year old form. I was in corner but smiling a little and looking at her with compassion in my eyes, I could tell.
“The Volturi?” I growled the name of the Italian rulers who made the rules for vampires. “They’ll kill her” I groaned, half disappointed not to have her blood, half because she doesn’t deserve such a death at such a young age even from me.
“If they come, we’ll change her right away. It’s the only way. I’ll know when they’re coming though, I’ll see them.” She said, determined.
“I can’t believe this” I hid my face in my hands. I couldn’t stand for this child to be part of my life, she deserved better; a normal human family. Why would they make such a decision!
“You can do it Edward” Alice encouraged. “That vision will
come true. You’re the strongest of us all, you survived so much and you can face this problem. I know you can.” She smiled a little, but it didn’t reach her eyes.
I shook my head slowly. “I could kill her” I choked. I fisted my hands in my hair. “The very whiff of her scent makes me want to...” I left the sentence unfinished.
“You can do it.” She said again. “You can face this problem head on, and solve it safely and have Bella part of your life”
So that was her name now? They already named
her. I groaned.
“Yes, she has a name, everyone does” She said, teasingly annoyed. She could tell by my expression by what I groaned about.
“You’re not weak, Edward.” She looked frustrated and annoyed. “You’re determination always overrules your weaknesses including this one.”
This made me want to start breathing again, and run with Alice back home, to protect the girl, to have her apart of my family., to spend her life with her, supporting her, helping her. I wanted this so much. This feeling was determination. I didn’t even think about the scent, the feeling overruled it. Alice was right.
I sighed; this was going to be painful. “Alright Alice”
A smile broke across her face
I held up one finger. “But if it’s too much. I’ll leave. For the child’s sake”
sake” She corrected holding one finger, imitating me.
I shook my head and smiled a little. Alice held out her hand. “Let’s go” Her eyes glowed light gold. I took it and we shot through the forest as the sun rose over the horizon, indicating a new day. It was a new day, a new change to my life. The sun rose as my destiny approached closer and closer.
* * *
By afternoon, we were back at the house. I hesitated on the step. I took in one last gulp of air, I wouldn’t really get to talk much but I couldn’t breathe in that scent. Alice grabbed my wrist and tugged me forward. She looked straight at me
“You can do this,”
She reminded me and dragged me to the house with little effort. I would let out a sigh but I needed the air.
Everyone was waiting for us. I scanned for the girl but she didn’t come up, I could hear a little beating heart though, from behind Rosalie.
Esme thought in relief, she darted over and wrapped her arms around me. She didn’t want the family to break apart. I kept my eyes on where the sound was coming from as I returned the embrace. Esme looked up at her “please be careful”
She thought, her eyes were terrified. I saw in her mind, myself running after the child. I winced. “Sorry, dear”
she patted my arm. I smiled a little.
I maneuvered out of the embrace and started to walk –slowly- towards the heartbeat. Once Rosalie realized what I was doing, Rosalie snarled at me.
“I mean no harm, Rose” I put my hands up, palms out.
She just snarled again in response
“He can do it, Rose” Alice said, glaring at her.
“Humph” Rosalie grumbled and flipped her hair. I rolled my eyes.
I continued my slow walk. As I approached, the child behind Rosalie let one side of her face come out from behind Rose’s leg. She put her hand below Rosalie’s knee. Rose patted her head in response. For the first time I’ve seen this child, I noticed I couldn’t read her thoughts; all I got from her head was silence. From children her age, I could usually see just what they were seeing but brighter colors and simple thoughts; happy ones. I didn’t see anything. I’ve never experienced anything like it. I felt my eyebrows furrow in concentration, trying to read her mind. I bent down on one knee and leaned my elbow my kneeled knee. Everybody reacted and hovered over the child. Emmett put one strong hand my shoulder and Carlisle had my other.
“Guys, he can handle it, trust me” Alice said.
When Alice spoke, the toddler looked at her and a smile broke across her face. Alice grinned back and the child giggled. It was like a soft little bell. It was a sweet sound.
Her big chocolate brown eyes turned back to me, they did not look frightened or scared, they merely looked...curious? I felt my face reflect mine. What
is going through her mind? I didn’t care if it was simple, I wanted to know. Her eyes narrowed and she made her whole face visible. She was even more adorable in person I had to admit. Her cheeks were flushed and looked like rose petals with a natural dent of concentration in her forehead, but it was, like in Alice’s memory, her eyes that held me there. They were so big and deep, it felt like I could stare into them for miles. She stared back at me with curiosity.
Her head cocked to the side. I let out a low chuckle, as soon as I did I released I breathed in her scent. It was so sweet and delicious, venom filled my mouth. I tensed underneath Emmett and Carlisle’s hands. My hand turned into a claw on my knee. Alice gasped and the girl was out of my site. No!
I wasn’t done yet, I had to figure out what was going on inside that head!
“No” I managed, my voice sounded rough, strained. “Its okay.” I looked at Rosalie who had the child in her arms now. “I promise, Rosalie” I stood up and their hands moved along with my body movements.
I didn’t know what I was doing but I wanted to as I held out my hands for the girl. Rosalie growled menacingly at me. Alice looked at me. “Can you handle it?”
her eyes were terrified. I nodded once. Please
I wanted to say I can do it
. Some feeling inside me made me want to hold her, to have her close to me, to protect her. The girl looked at Rosalie and Alice, confused, still not frightened. I held my hands out longer.
Rosalie glared furiously at me. She had never had a child before nor could she ever have it and if I killed the girl, she would probably bite my head off.
Alice sighed; “Do it” she looked at Rosalie. Rosalie growled at her and held the child out to me carefully. She looked so fragile. I heard her heart start beat twice as much. Her eyes got impossibly bigger, still
not frightened, just some kind of uplift feeling...excitement? This child was so strange. I, very carefully, slid my hands under her warm arms. Her heart fluttered. I smiled slightly.
I held her against my body but not completely, I was already so terrified of hurting her. As she gazed at me, I looked back and wondered to myself how I could loathe her. She was so innocent and warm and fragile. My face crumpled in pain, she shouldn’t be hated, not just by me but everyone, she should be loved. She looked at me bewildered for a moment and then suddenly her face brightened into a smile like the sun rising in the morning. It was so beautiful.
My breath hitched breathing in her sweet scent. I tensed myself, resisting. I would not kill her. If she was going to be part of my family, I would have to get used to her scent, desensitize myself with it. So I did something that made everyone gasp, I gently hid my face in her hair and breathed in her smell; my throat burst into flames, I struggled resisting with the thought of her dying because of me. She leaned into my face, and I think I heard a little sigh. I smiled.
“its okay” I heard Esme whisper to someone. She sounded passionate and proud.
“Yes” I spoke softly into her hair “it is” I looked up. I looked into Bella’s deep eyes, “Welcome to the Family, Bella” I whispered to her and smiled. Her smile turned into a grin and she giggled. I promised myself then, she was going to be part of me no doubt, I would protect her, keep her safe, no body would hurt her, if it were it would be I. I winced but vowed to keep my promise.
Chapter 4: http://www.thetwilightsaga.com/group/fanfiction/forum/topics/phasin...