The Twilight Saga

" Purgatory". Where did he go after he left her? What did he do? What was he thinking? Edwar´s perspective after he left Bella in New Moon

" Purgatory"
Preface:

This time I was to late, this time there was nothing that could save her. This was the end of my existence. I could live my life knowing that she will be well, because I was no where near her. That
she could move on eventually and be happy, have a human life, be with someone that deserves her.

But now the world was missing something.
The hole in my chest was something beyond imaginable, the guilt was flowing all over me. I could not help thinking that this was something that could have being avoided, by me.
My life holds no propos, no goal. Not anymore, there is nothing I could protect her from now. No
quest for the enemy, nor hope or daydreams to be fulfilled. There is only the void that she left behind.
The boys words where the last confirmation:
“Charlie is at the funeral.”
I was going to join her in the after life. But even when I knew for sure that she was gone, that the
world had lost all appealing to me, I have a strange felling that we may find ourselves again…
Will we? Is there, after all, heaven for someone like me?

Chapter 1: "The Beginning of the End"

New!!! Chapter 2: Sometimes the second option is the better one.


Also for those of you who don´t know I have another FanFic, I started it before this one, so If you want here are the links to the chapters....

"Full Moon"
Chapter 1: Renesmee´s Birthday

Chaper 2: Plans Part One

Chaper 2: Plans Part Two

Chapter 2: Plans Part Three

Chapter 2: "Plans Part Four"

New!!!!! Chapter 2: Plans Part Five

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Thanks :) Im glad you like it!
i want it to keep going its really great
keep on writing.i like your story.
it sounds great add me plz!!!
more please
sounds really great. keep going!
Hey guys...The post day for me will always be tomorrow, but do to special circumstances(Varadero Beach vacations for me againg!!!!!!) I´ll post more today. So. I hope you all enjot it and sorry for the shortness of the chapter. Aparently being inside Edward´s head is not as easy as it sounds.... Lol Dont worry, I´ll manage to find ispiration and all the wonderfull comments that all of you left me.
Next time it will be better and i´ll post as soon as posible the continuation of this chapter, well with that said. Here it is. Enjoy!!!!!!!
Chapter 1: The beginning of the end.

As I left, walked away from the one I love, my dead heart was in more pain that it will be if it where able to function. I had to leave; this was the only solution at this point. I will not be a selfish person, not anymore. All there was for me now was to endure the pain and forever remember that once in my existence, luck smiled to me. I knew what meant to be loved, I knew that someone had loved me and did not care for what I was. I´ll remember that beautiful girl that became my life and propos.

That was all I´ll ever be able to do, remember…

I tried to walk at a human speed, I tried to make a gentleman’s exit, but I knew that if I kept this pace I will turn around and looked for just a second into those beautiful, meaningful eyes… No, from now on I will not let myself think about those eyes or anything that will remember me of her. I had done enough damage already. Bella was from now on off limits.
The moment her name register in my brain was the most painful, it was like I understood for the first time since last night was I was doing. I was leaving her, I was saying good bye for good, for her own good. I was taking myself out of the picture because I wanted her to have a life.
A life where dead was something that she will have to face, but that will come eventually, not every single day of her short life. A life were vampires where a distant memory of something that may have happened in her life, a mythical creature that may have crossed her path once upon a time. Not something she will face daily, and finally a life were she will find in one of the many males that have a very strong interest in her, and he will be able to give her all the love that she deserved, not what I gave her, not something that was half of what she deserved.

I was running now. The trees where just a green blur in my way, to what will be from now on, my eternal, Purgatory.

I ran as fast as I could, the grass was something I was vaguely aware of. I wanted to get away. To be able to do right by her and stop thinking about the void that filled my body with every mile that I put between us. I remembered something that almost shattered my will.
” No, wait!” She had shouted after me as I flew away from the forest. I came to an abrupt stop in that moment. All muscles tense like the strings in a piano. She wanted me to stay, even when her life was in danger, even when she had seen more than once what we where capable of doing, even when she was herself the victim over and over again, she wanted me to stay with her. I looked back to where I supposed she was minutes ago and now all I could see was the darkness ahead of me -I´m not referring to the fact that it was night time already, but to the darkness that I saw- the darkness that came over me the moment I set myself into doing the moust painful thing I´ve ever done, and then I saw her face in my mind so clearly that I almost thought I was there with her and not here, getting far away from the love of my existence.
So much for the happy ending and me being delusional enough to make a poor imitation of the Vampire/Guardian Angel, but even when I know that was something completely irrational, I can´t make myself regret the best days of my life, I treasure those days like a pirate his map to the unknown waters of the sea monster.

Now there was no way of going back, it will take more than Bella´s goodness to forgive and forget what I did to her this afternoon, I left her, but not only that, I lied, I said the moust vicious lie of my entire life and existence, of the both combined actually. No one, not even Bella will be able to get past that…

My mind was like a train rack at the moment. Too many thought crossing it at this point, too many questions that will remain unanswered, too much pain… and too many memories of those glorious months we spend together. My time with Bella was without a doubt the moust amazing, beautiful… There was no way to describe it and do justice by telling it, telling the story of the girl/women that loved a vampire unconditionally, she will be the hero in that book, not me, I will be the bad guy that prevented her of living her life as it was supposed to be, as it was meant to be, but in this story the girl was stubborn- so Bella- and brave, nothing but goodness and love in her heart. Yes, that love was epic, a love to remember and treasure for many life times, until the line was too thick to cross it. Until it felt wrong to take the her life away, until the vampire felt guilty and responsible for her- how ironic-, for being the bad luck that hunted her like and evil spirit.
I hoped in that moment, with all my strength, that me, leaving her, will only set things the way it should be. That the natural order of life and nature will be rearranged for her. I only could hope that she will be safe from now on, I knew she will keep her promise, as well as I knew that I will struggle the moust to keep mine. Even now, hours from where she was, I was struggling not to come back, to take her in my arms and breath her scent until the appealing will make my mind feel like the a dizzy human about to pass out for the intensity of it, or to have her in my iron arms and feel the hot of her skin that emanates from her worm sensible, breakable body, I will give anything, my own life willingly just to be able to see her and beg her for forgiveness. It was taking all my restrain not to go back.

I was in need of something. Something to get my mind occupied, to be able to think in something else than the women I loved, the women that not long ago I thought I will spend the rest of her life with.

At this point I had lost track of where I was, was I in another city, or another country already? I knew I was running fast enough to be in Alaska by now.
Alaska… the land where I isolated myself for the greater good, Bella´s own well being.
WOW I mean it W-O-W that was amazing i cant believe it seriosly OMG! YAY! Im first to comment!!!
dang..... that was .... what .... that was AWESOME !!!!!!!
Thanks so much.... and here I was thinkig no one like it.... Thanks so much!!!!!
Tanya
dont said no one like it.i like it..it is good especially from Edward POV.send me more.keep writing!

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