The Twilight Saga

" Purgatory". Where did he go after he left her? What did he do? What was he thinking? Edwar´s perspective after he left Bella in New Moon

" Purgatory"
Preface:

This time I was to late, this time there was nothing that could save her. This was the end of my existence. I could live my life knowing that she will be well, because I was no where near her. That
she could move on eventually and be happy, have a human life, be with someone that deserves her.

But now the world was missing something.
The hole in my chest was something beyond imaginable, the guilt was flowing all over me. I could not help thinking that this was something that could have being avoided, by me.
My life holds no propos, no goal. Not anymore, there is nothing I could protect her from now. No
quest for the enemy, nor hope or daydreams to be fulfilled. There is only the void that she left behind.
The boys words where the last confirmation:
“Charlie is at the funeral.”
I was going to join her in the after life. But even when I knew for sure that she was gone, that the
world had lost all appealing to me, I have a strange felling that we may find ourselves again…
Will we? Is there, after all, heaven for someone like me?

Chapter 1: "The Beginning of the End"

New!!! Chapter 2: Sometimes the second option is the better one.


Also for those of you who don´t know I have another FanFic, I started it before this one, so If you want here are the links to the chapters....

"Full Moon"
Chapter 1: Renesmee´s Birthday

Chaper 2: Plans Part One

Chaper 2: Plans Part Two

Chapter 2: Plans Part Three

Chapter 2: "Plans Part Four"

New!!!!! Chapter 2: Plans Part Five

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OMG U HAVE TO WRITE MORE!
more please.
this is a good story it is really descriptive i love it it describes edward very well hoe he would feel like when he was away from bell in new moon
Thank you all. I really Hope to get more comments in the days that are left before Update Day!!!

I love all that you guys said about it and I´m looking foward to see if it will stay like that in the future... I´ll post more as long as you guys keep soporting the story with your wonderfull comments. Thank you all.
Tanya
Wow this is great. Thanks for sharing.
Chapter 3: No progress

I came to a stop once I could bring myself to separate the thoughts around me, I knew well where I was going, I lived here once…
In the murmur that was the thought in my head I heard all the minds that I was naturally attuned to... My family.
All waiting for me to arrive, all waiting for me to make real what I stayed behind to do… leave the love of my existence to be a better man, or a better creature for that matter.
It was a good thing that I was the one that could read minds in this moment; I was getting near to where my entire family was waiting for me. Waiting and maybe hoping that I will never arrive. I never stop to think how much Bella meant to them until now. Their minds were all in the same place, waiting to get the confirmation that apparently most of them were hoping never to get. Until Alice gave them the news right before I walked into the porch at the Denali´s home.
“No, he really did it” I heard her whisper the words out loud for everyone when I was near the door.
Did she really saw it just now? Did the course of my existence was still being decided? Was my mind still trying to figure how to go on from here? Well at least I had an answer for that last question, at least that one wasn´t unanswered. Yes!
I didn’t wanted to get in, I knew what they were thinking about, I knew that they all wanted answers, painful answers that will take me back to that dreadful moment again, a moment that will remain alive in my memory until the end of my time.
I felt like I was in a crowded place when I walked in -and in the sense of being in a room full of vampires I was, but it was more than that, the crowdedness was the only word that mostly described that moment and the need I had for some more alone time with my thoughts about Bella- all of their minds were full with questions. Denial and relieve were some of the emotions I caught first, then anger and the most painful of all compassion. They all felt sorry for me in some way and now the pain was even more excruciating.
I wanted to get away from there, I wanted to get away from all living or dead creatures, to be alone… alone with my thoughts and my fantasies, alone with the pain that I was quickly beginning to be addicted to. But if I did that now I will hurt them too and that was as excruciating as leaving Bella alone in the trail.
Bella…
The queen of my thoughts and my heart, the one in all the sense of the word, and also the one I could not have. I felt my face fall to the floor, thinking of her was as painful as not thinking of her, but I had to put in a good face now, I had to pretend one more time that this didn´t affected me at all, that what I just did a few hour ago was not only the right thing to do for her, but that this decision was good for me too, even when there was nothing more far away from the truth.
I put in my poker face, the one that I had wore more times that I could count and now was harder than the others, I never had to pretend with my family before, I always told them the truth about anything and everything, we have lived all our time with a clear environment, a clean house where lies formed part of the charade that we had to put on for our life style, but never in our two or more life times together did we masked our feelings to each other. Well, for better off for worst that time had change, I think that for worse.
Alice was the one that broke the awkward silence that ruled the room when they all lay eyes on my.
“I saw it” Was the only three words that came out of her mouth, and then she said *You don´t have to say anything, everyone can see how you feel, you don´t have to pretend Edward, I’m so sorry.*
Looking myself in their eyes told me I had failed dreadfully, I wasn´t able to put in a good show for them, and some how it felt good to have them know the truth, to be able to feel the way I felt without having to mask it into some fake emotion.
Jaspers face fell to the ground, I could feel him trying to sense the emotions in me, he was thinking that I was going to fight him at any minute now, that the pain I was in will transform in anger at any minute now. He was not going to fight me or defend himself. * I have it coming* he thought deliberately for me to hear. I had to stop him, he was not to blame, Bella was right about that, this was just Jaspers nature and nothing evil or deliberate came of it, and in the end, Jasper was not the one craving her blood every second he was with her, that, was me.
“Jasper” His body tensed at the mention of his name by me and in true the words came out harder that I meant them to be ,his reaction was just a reflex, instinctual, he relaxed just a second after, repeating the phrase that he had meant for me to hear, *Go ahead, I truly have it coming, I’m sorry*
“No Jasper, I’m not going to fight you, trust me I will not make me feel better to do so, brother.” Everyone in the room where looking at us, and the Denali’s were living the room to give us some privacy; the all felt like they were our family, but this situation called for some talk that they felt like it was privet and between us, since they knew about the matter since yesterday and didn´t knew the source of all the trouble. The Source! That was the name they had for Bella?!
The owner of those thoughts was Tanya, and deep down I knew she didn´t meat to trouble me with her thoughts, but she did and my reaction was one to dishonorable to express with sorrow afterwards.
“Her name is Bella!!” I all but growled/snarled the name at her, my fists close, my muscles tensed, my whole body was tense with distress… I stopped myself right there, if I left all the commentaries in their minds to affect me, and most importantly let myself react like that, then I will not be the man that my family thought I was. I could not embarrass my family by showing suck poor education.
Esme was at my side in the same second, she had her arms around my shoulders and her hands were stroking gently my back, then she was whispering to me, “We know, we know, it will be okay, you will be okay.” Over and over and over to me. I knew all of them could hear what she was saying, but this was part of what I needed in this moment, the comfort of my mother…
I LOVE IT!!! really amazing!! and its so good to read something from Edward's POV at that time!! keep doin the amzing job you're doing and dont forget to update me:)
write more if u love ur family...
I will. I love you all!!!!!!!!!!

Tanya « свет ночи »
awww... my poor baby ..... he .. aww ... at .... im close to tears and at loss for words it was wonderful thanks for writinng :) loved it :)
Thank you all for the comments.
Thank you so much!!!!

I´ve being thinking about doing a bonus chapter this week, so tell me what you think and maybe this week you all will have 2 chapters to read.

Don´t forget to tell your friends!!!!!!!!!
See ya!
Are you going to write more?

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