" Purgatory". Where did he go after he left her? What did he do? What was he thinking? Edwar´s perspective after he left Bella in New Moon

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Twilightgirl3767 on October 16, 2009 at 7:15pm

OMG U HAVE TO WRITE MORE!

Permalink Reply by Rachael Alexandria on October 17, 2009 at 1:03am

more please.

Permalink Reply by gabriella on October 17, 2009 at 11:03pm

this is a good story it is really descriptive i love it it describes edward very well hoe he would feel like when he was away from bell in new moon

Permalink Reply by Tanya « свет ночи » on October 18, 2009 at 8:53pm

Thank you all. I really Hope to get more comments in the days that are left before Update Day!!!

I love all that you guys said about it and I´m looking foward to see if it will stay like that in the future... I´ll post more as long as you guys keep soporting the story with your wonderfull comments. Thank you all.
Tanya

Permalink Reply by 007Panther on October 22, 2009 at 9:21am

Wow this is great. Thanks for sharing.

Permalink Reply by Tanya « свет ночи » on October 23, 2009 at 10:13pm

Chapter 3: No progress

I came to a stop once I could bring myself to separate the thoughts around me, I knew well where I was going, I lived here once…
In the murmur that was the thought in my head I heard all the minds that I was naturally attuned to... My family.
All waiting for me to arrive, all waiting for me to make real what I stayed behind to do… leave the love of my existence to be a better man, or a better creature for that matter.
It was a good thing that I was the one that could read minds in this moment; I was getting near to where my entire family was waiting for me. Waiting and maybe hoping that I will never arrive. I never stop to think how much Bella meant to them until now. Their minds were all in the same place, waiting to get the confirmation that apparently most of them were hoping never to get. Until Alice gave them the news right before I walked into the porch at the Denali´s home.
“No, he really did it” I heard her whisper the words out loud for everyone when I was near the door.
Did she really saw it just now? Did the course of my existence was still being decided? Was my mind still trying to figure how to go on from here? Well at least I had an answer for that last question, at least that one wasn´t unanswered. Yes!
I didn’t wanted to get in, I knew what they were thinking about, I knew that they all wanted answers, painful answers that will take me back to that dreadful moment again, a moment that will remain alive in my memory until the end of my time.
I felt like I was in a crowded place when I walked in -and in the sense of being in a room full of vampires I was, but it was more than that, the crowdedness was the only word that mostly described that moment and the need I had for some more alone time with my thoughts about Bella- all of their minds were full with questions. Denial and relieve were some of the emotions I caught first, then anger and the most painful of all compassion. They all felt sorry for me in some way and now the pain was even more excruciating.
I wanted to get away from there, I wanted to get away from all living or dead creatures, to be alone… alone with my thoughts and my fantasies, alone with the pain that I was quickly beginning to be addicted to. But if I did that now I will hurt them too and that was as excruciating as leaving Bella alone in the trail.
Bella…
The queen of my thoughts and my heart, the one in all the sense of the word, and also the one I could not have. I felt my face fall to the floor, thinking of her was as painful as not thinking of her, but I had to put in a good face now, I had to pretend one more time that this didn´t affected me at all, that what I just did a few hour ago was not only the right thing to do for her, but that this decision was good for me too, even when there was nothing more far away from the truth.
I put in my poker face, the one that I had wore more times that I could count and now was harder than the others, I never had to pretend with my family before, I always told them the truth about anything and everything, we have lived all our time with a clear environment, a clean house where lies formed part of the charade that we had to put on for our life style, but never in our two or more life times together did we masked our feelings to each other. Well, for better off for worst that time had change, I think that for worse.
Alice was the one that broke the awkward silence that ruled the room when they all lay eyes on my.
“I saw it” Was the only three words that came out of her mouth, and then she said *You don´t have to say anything, everyone can see how you feel, you don´t have to pretend Edward, I’m so sorry.*
Looking myself in their eyes told me I had failed dreadfully, I wasn´t able to put in a good show for them, and some how it felt good to have them know the truth, to be able to feel the way I felt without having to mask it into some fake emotion.
Jaspers face fell to the ground, I could feel him trying to sense the emotions in me, he was thinking that I was going to fight him at any minute now, that the pain I was in will transform in anger at any minute now. He was not going to fight me or defend himself. * I have it coming* he thought deliberately for me to hear. I had to stop him, he was not to blame, Bella was right about that, this was just Jaspers nature and nothing evil or deliberate came of it, and in the end, Jasper was not the one craving her blood every second he was with her, that, was me.
“Jasper” His body tensed at the mention of his name by me and in true the words came out harder that I meant them to be ,his reaction was just a reflex, instinctual, he relaxed just a second after, repeating the phrase that he had meant for me to hear, *Go ahead, I truly have it coming, I’m sorry*
“No Jasper, I’m not going to fight you, trust me I will not make me feel better to do so, brother.” Everyone in the room where looking at us, and the Denali’s were living the room to give us some privacy; the all felt like they were our family, but this situation called for some talk that they felt like it was privet and between us, since they knew about the matter since yesterday and didn´t knew the source of all the trouble. The Source! That was the name they had for Bella?!
The owner of those thoughts was Tanya, and deep down I knew she didn´t meat to trouble me with her thoughts, but she did and my reaction was one to dishonorable to express with sorrow afterwards.
“Her name is Bella!!” I all but growled/snarled the name at her, my fists close, my muscles tensed, my whole body was tense with distress… I stopped myself right there, if I left all the commentaries in their minds to affect me, and most importantly let myself react like that, then I will not be the man that my family thought I was. I could not embarrass my family by showing suck poor education.
Esme was at my side in the same second, she had her arms around my shoulders and her hands were stroking gently my back, then she was whispering to me, “We know, we know, it will be okay, you will be okay.” Over and over and over to me. I knew all of them could hear what she was saying, but this was part of what I needed in this moment, the comfort of my mother…

Permalink Reply by nesto on October 24, 2009 at 3:03pm

I LOVE IT!!! really amazing!! and its so good to read something from Edward's POV at that time!! keep doin the amzing job you're doing and dont forget to update me:)

Permalink Reply by Alice Cullen on October 25, 2009 at 6:04pm

write more if u love ur family...

Permalink Reply by Tanya « свет ночи » on October 26, 2009 at 9:44pm

I will. I love you all!!!!!!!!!!

Tanya « свет ночи »

Permalink Reply by jΑϒNΣll lØVE ™ - ツ on October 25, 2009 at 10:29pm

awww... my poor baby ..... he .. aww ... at .... im close to tears and at loss for words it was wonderful thanks for writinng :) loved it :)

Permalink Reply by Tanya « свет ночи » on October 25, 2009 at 11:30pm

Thank you all for the comments.
Thank you so much!!!!

I´ve being thinking about doing a bonus chapter this week, so tell me what you think and maybe this week you all will have 2 chapters to read.

Don´t forget to tell your friends!!!!!!!!!
See ya!

Permalink Reply by 007Panther on October 30, 2009 at 12:25pm

Are you going to write more?

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