Hey, readers of the world :) This story is about what I thought would have happened after Breaking Dawn. I posted this story a long time ago, but it was deleted for some reason and I've decided to repost the story, considering I have it all saved. I'm actually already started on the sequel, but that got deleted, too, so I'll post this one while I post for the other story. So enjoy Renesmee's Diary :)
***Sequel to this story, Never Again: http://thetwilightsaga.com/group/fanfiction/forum/topics/never-agai... ***
I felt myself mumble incoherently in my sleep, turn to my side, and sigh before falling into deep unconsciousness.
My dream was amazing. I was on La Push Beach, my slender, teenage body sitting down on the sand as I looked up at the stars suspended above me. I don't know why I was there, but I couldn't take my eyes off the beautiful night sky. All the stars were brightening the sky with their beautiful lights. The stars twinkled in such a way that seemed impossible for human eyes (or in my case, vampire eyes) to ever see. Soon, only two stars were twinkling, dazzling me with their luminous sparkle.
The stars began to dance in the sky, dancing to their own inaudible beat. They jumped, hopped, twirled, turned, soared, through the dark sky, morphing into a familiar figure. I watched as the stars made their way into the figure. I soon recognized it to be a body, a man's body. The stars landed into place as they made his hair, his high cheekbones, his soft, gentle, smiling face, and eyes. He was tall, maybe seven feet, with a muscular frame and build. The stars showed that he was wearing a plain t-shirt and shorts, his feet completely bare. I looked into the eyes once more and immediately recognized them.
I smiled as the stars morphed into the figure of my best friend, Jacob. Once the portrait was finished, the stars morphed to life, having Jacob's face smile even wider at me. I smiled back and waved at him. Jacob waved back. The stars seemed to be getting closer, bringing Jacob towards me. The Jacob that was made of stars walked out of the sky and jumped onto the sand where I stood, smiling again.
Soon, Jacob and I were mere inches apart. He held up his finger, a motion for me to wait. I nodded and waited. The stars swirled around him in one fast motion and, soon, Jacob was in front of me, flesh and blood. He smiled at me again and sighed contently.
I blushed, the same blush my mother once had, and said, "Hey, Jacob."
He looked just as he'd always been. He had a smiling face; his russet colored skin was beautiful in the dim light. I looked into his eyes and sighed contently. His impossibly dark eyes were twinkling like the stars in the sky, making me melt as his eyes bored into my chocolate brown eyes.
Jacob wrapped his muscular arms around me, giving me a loving hug. I hugged him back, laying my head on his chest and closing my eyes. I couldn't have felt safer, more secure in his arms.
I felt him nuzzle his face into my bronze hair as he sighed, "Renesmee."
I hugged him tighter, making sure he won't disappear in my hold. I was afraid that the moment I let him go will be the moment he leaves me, the moment where I'm left standing in the middle of the beach with no one at my side. Because though Jacob and I are only supposed to be best friends, I've always felt that we were supposed to be more. It's in my thoughts, in my dreams, in everything that has to do with him. And I can't ever live if he left me.
A tear escaped from my eye at the thought of not having Jacob with me here. Jacob looked at me with sorrow filled eyes.
"Why are you crying, Nessie?" I shake my head, closing my eyes, and laying my head to his chest once more. He cups his finger under my chin, raising my gaze to his so that I'm forced to look at him.
He asked me, "Are you okay, Renesmee?"
I nod my head. "I just... I don't want you to leave me, Jacob. I mean, my father left my mother at one point when both their lives were in danger and I just... can't handle the thought of you leaving me."
I start to sob, letting go of his warm embrace and turning the opposite way; I hate crying in front of him because I know it only makes him sad.
But instead of leaving me alone, Jacob took me in his arms once again, holding me close to him. I tried to wriggle free of his hold, but I gave up and sobbed into his shirt.
He said, "Renesmee, I could never leave you. You're so important to me. I would never leave you, Renesmee. I'll always be by your side. I'm not going anywhere. Not without you."
I looked up into his dark eyes again; He was looking at me back, his eyes full of sorrow and grief.
I asked, "Do you promise?"
He smiled. "I promise."
Jacob leaned in and kissed a tear from my cheek. I smiled and laid my head on his chest again.
I could hear his heartbeat ringing through my eardrums. It was a sound so familiar, so remarkably different from any other heartbeat I've heard; I could hear it from miles away, knowing that it's Jacob. I sighed and let him kiss the top of my head.
"You worry about the strangest things, Nessie," he said, smiling again.
I looked up at him and laughed gently. "Shut up, Jacob." We both laughed.
Then, Jacob looked at me, his eyes brooding and determined.
"Nessie," he sighed.
I asked, "Yes, Jacob?"
He didn't say anything. He leaned his face in closer to mine. I felt his forehead rest on mine as I closed my eyes. I could hear our shallow breathing, waiting for this moment to finally happen in our lives.
I heard him chuckle silently as he said, "Renesmee, I love you."
I smiled. My heart was filled with so much love and I had been longing for him to utter those words. And to finally hear him say them makes my heart fill with so much relief, but also longing to return the words to him.
"Jacob, I love you, too," I whisper to him.
I opened my eyes to see his reaction. His eyes, also open, were so light and buoyant, so filled with everlasting love. He smiled, grasped my waist and twirled me in the air. I laughed and we embraced each other amorously.
He said, his voice filled with relief and love, "You have no idea how long I've been waiting to hear that."
I smiled and said, "I think I know."
He took another look at me and sighed. "Nessie."
I sighed, too. "Jake."
He chuckled and leaned in once more, our foreheads touching again. I smiled and closed my eyes, waiting. His lips brushed against my cheek before kissing my cheek, His lips traveled to my own where they hesitated for a moment. Then, his lips finally met mine, crushing them with passion and love. I kissed him back, my hands sliding to his chest as I grabbed his shirt, pulling him closer to me. He chuckled in response and held me tight to him.
I couldn't have asked for anything more perfect in this entire world than Jacob. He makes me laugh, he makes me smile, he cares for me so much, he never judges me, he'll do what I ask him, and, most importantly, he's my best friend.
My hands slid around his neck, clasping together so that he was prisoner in my arms. His hands slid down to my waist. I sighed in contentment. I didn't want anything more than to be with Jacob, He was everything to me and I could never let him go.
Then, when everything was going just about perfect...
"Nessie... Nessie... RENESMEE, WAKE UP!!!"
My eyes flung wide open and I nearly jumped off my bed. I looked around, alarmed, when I saw Alice and, ironically, Jacob standing at the foot of my queen-sized bed.
My Aunt Alice (I just call her Alice sometimes since I look like I could be her age) looked at me and smiled.
"Good, you're awake," her sweet pixie voice said.
I rolled my eyes. "Gee, I wonder what might have woken me up."
Jacob and Alice laughed. Alice said, "Happy 2nd Birthday, Renesmee!"
I furrowed my eyebrows and looked at my digital clock on my nightstand. "Is it September 10th already," I asked, mostly to myself.
Alice frowned. "Man, you and Bella are not one for birthdays, are you?"
Jacob and I laughed. "I guess not," I said. Alice rolled her eyes.
"Well, we have to get to birthday shopping! It's your special day, buy whatever you want."
I rolled my eyes. "It's not like you don't give me the option to waste money."
Alice laughed. "Yes, but this time, you're buying and I'm consenting. Now, let's go! The mall in Seattle starts at nine and that’s first before we hit the designers' places." She skipped out the door. Jacob sat beside me.
"So, anything special planned for today," he asked, his deep, husky voice just as familiar as in my dream.
I smiled and shook my head. "Nope. Why? Did you have something you wanted to do with me today?"
He shrugged. "It's nothing we need to discuss right now. Maybe after..." he trailed off.
I asked, "After what?"
He laughed. "I wasn't supposed to tell you this... but Alice is planning a big surprise party for you today."
I sighed. "Alice just loves an excuse to throw a party, doesn't she?"
Jake laughed. "You'll get used to it after a while." I laughed, too.
Jake got off the bed, bowed and offered his hand out to me, saying in a formal voice, "Well, would you like to join me in walking to the house, Ms. Renesmee?"
I laughed, jumped out of bed, and curtsied, though I was wearing black shorts and a white tank top, and mimicked the same voice as he did. "Why, Mr. Jacob, it would be my honor."
He says, in his normal voice, "The pleasure is all mine, believe me." I looked at him and I knew he wasn't kidding. He was serious. I blushed and took his hand. We walked out of my house, hand in hand, and I couldn't have felt happier.
October 13, 8:21 AM
As of today, it's been exactly two months since my birthday. And it's been completely great. Alice and I already unwrapped the presents my guests had given me. They were all really great.
Zafrina, Senna, and Kachiri gave me a blanket made from lion hide; it's surprisingly comfortable and warm. Nahuel and Huilen gave me recipes for some South American meals (Alice hinted them that I was trying out cooking). Tanya, Kate, Garrett, Carmen, and Eleazar gave me plane tickets to visit them soon; Kate, Tanya, and I have grown fond of each other. Benjamin and Tia (A/N: I'd forgotten to put Tia on the guest list. Sorry!) had given me real Egyptian cotton robe. Maggie, Siobhan, and Liam gave me a beautiful gold anklet with emerald gems from Ireland. Peter and Charlotte had given me a pretty hair clip with a butterfly on it. Rosalie and Alice gave me a new dress by Chanel. Emmett and Jasper collaborated with them and got me some accessories that went with the dress. Carlisle and Esme gave me a camera and scrapbook. Grandpa Charlie and Sue gave me a couple picture frames and $50. The wolf pack, being the funny guys that they are, gave me a cute card with a few bucks in it and a paper that said, "I.O.U." They were great presents.
As I've written, Jacob's taken me out numerous times, taking me to the beach mostly and movies and dinners and stuff. Mostly, they're not really fancy dinners, just to the Lodge or any other local cafe, but I don't really mind. I'm just glad that we're together and that's all that really matters to me.
But, now I have some restrictions. My dad, making sure I'm responsible, like I promised him, gave me a curfew. A freakin' curfew! And I'm a fully capable half vampire that can take care of herself. But I know it's not only for my safety. It's so that I'm not doing any "funny business" at night, so my curfew is 11 o'clock. I would say that it's unfair, but in retrospect, it really isn't. I'm actually pretty fine with the curfew. It's just... my dad also makes me go out hunting with him more. It's annoying because he has Sam tell Jacob to do something at the same time my dad and I are going to hunt. It's just so irritating, like he's trying to keep us away from each other.
Thank God, my mom has done me justice. She would rein him in when she can, trying to seduce him most of the time (which would have made me vomited before, but now she's doing it for my own personal gain, as well as her own) but she would convince him to let me go. Thank you, mom.
In those two months, I've gotten to completely love Jacob so much. Now, I know I love him. The problem is... I haven't gotten the chance to tell him. I don't know whether I'm too scared to say it or I just haven't found the perfect moment to tell him. I don't know really where to do it or when to do it, I just know that I have to say it soon or I may not say it at all, which is something I would regret for the rest of my life...
Well, I have to go. The day's gonna start and Jake and I have plans today. I'll be sure to write all about it tonight. Wish me luck!
I closed my leather book and changed from my PJ's into some clothes. Alice had totally restocked my closet since I didn't go on that shopping spree with her. Some things, I kept, but some I threw out. Since my body heat was about two or three degrees cooler that Jake's is, I don't necessarily get cold anymore, but I don't want people to start talking, so I dressed as warm as I could.
After I changed, I walked out of the cottage and towards my family's house. I looked up at the sky. It looked like it was gonna rain today. Again. I groaned and trudged on to the house. When I got there, my parents, as usual, were waiting for me by the window. I walked in and sat between my parents on the couch. My mom ruffled my hair.
"Good morning, honey."
I smiled. "Morning."
My dad kissed my head. Everyone was talking, but I just kept silent, wondering what Jacob and I were doing today. He wouldn't tell me, saying it was a surprise. Then, Alice sat beside my feet.
She asked me suddenly, "Can I give you a pedicure tonight?"
I furrowed my eyebrows. "Uh... I guess."
She smiled. And right then and there, just by that little smile, I knew something was up.
I looked up and saw that something was up with everyone. Rosalie, Esme, and my mom were suddenly smiling at me, too, just Alice was. Emmett seemed to be in a good mood.
I asked, "What's going on?"
Alice said, "Nothing's going on, Nessie." But her voice was way too sweet to be trusted.
I asked, "Is there something I don't know here?"
No one answered, pretending to ignore me. I sighed, giving up. I knew I wasn't gonna get it out of anyone, so why keep trying?
Then, Jacob came through the door, smiling at me. I smiled back.
"Ready," he asked.
I nodded. I grabbed my bag, said goodbye to my mom and dad, and Jake and I walked towards the door.
My dad called, "Remember your curfew, Renesmee."
I suppressed the urge to roll my eyes and called back, "I will, daddy."
I heard my mother laugh at him before Jake and I walked out the door. As soon as we were away from sight, Jake took my hand. I smiled.
"So, what are we doing today?"
He laughed. "Nice try, but I'm not telling you. It's a secret."
We got in his car and drove off. We headed to Port Angeles and went to the Port Angeles Symphony where Extreme was playing. Jake had gotten tickets to my favorite band! We watched them play, even bought a few shirts. Then, we went to Downrigger's Waterfront for lunch. After lunch, we were heading to La Push Beach. On the way to Jake's car, Jake's phone rang.
He answered, "Hello?"
I could hear Alice, "Everything's ready. Bring Renesmee home."
Jacob smiled. "All right. We're on our way."
"Thanks, Jake. Tonight's gonna be so much fun."
Jake hung up his phone. I grabbed his hand and asked him with my thoughts, What are we doing tonight? He smiled.
"I can't tell you that, Nessie. It's a surprise."
I pouted again, as I had done before.
I wondered if I could try flirting it out of him, like my mom does with my dad. It looked like it would work, but that's probably because my mom's insanely beautiful. But would it work with me doing it to Jacob? I wondered...
When we got to the car, I tried to use my sexiest face, sliding my finger down his arm. He looked at me, first shocked, then trying not to take the bait.
"Jake..." I said, placing my other hand on his chest while the other was still sliding down his arm.
He gulped. "Yes," he tried to answer, but his voice cracked.
I smiled, knowing that he's caught. Now, to get the information from him. My hand slid from his chest to the back of his neck. I felt him shiver. I smiled and leaned in closer to his face, our faces mere inches apart. My lips brushed against his cheek, down to his jaw, where I placed a small kiss, and to his neck, where started to kiss all over. I could tell he was struggling to not take the bait.
"Jake," I said in a sexy voice between kisses. "Can you please tell me where we're going tonight?"
He didn't say anything, just tried to breathe. I brought my face back up to his and kissed him tenderly. My hands slid to behind his neck, tugging on the tips of his hair. I hear him moan quietly. I knew he melted under my kiss. I smiled and parted our lips, tracing my tongue on his lower lip. He moaned again. Then, I decided he had had enough.
I broke away from him, our breathing uneven. He looked dazed, dazzled even, how my mom puts it.
I smiled. "So, where are we going, again?" He shook his head, trying to focus.
Then, he smiled. "Again, nice try. But I'm not giving in, no matter how much I want to."
I frowned. Damn, it didn't work. Then it must be something big if he's willing to still keep it a surprise.
We got home and Alice was outside of the house before Jake and I were out of the car. As soon as I opened the door, she had my wrist.
"Come on, I have a lot of work to do before tonight."
She tried to pull me into the house, but I asked her, "Can I at least say goodbye to Jacob?"
She sighed and let me go. Jacob came over to my side and snaked his arms around my waist, pulling me close to him.
"You know," he said, a smile on his face. "That was something crazy back there. You really wanted to know, didn't you?"
I felt my face go red. "Yeah... I did."
He laughed. I kissed him quickly and said, "I have to go."
He sighed. "All right. I have to get ready, too, anyway."
He kissed me, too, but longer. I smiled and went off with Alice.
Alice dug her fingers in my arms and dragged me inside. We flew through the living room, upstairs, and into Alice's huge bathroom. I barely noticed that no one was in the living room. Rosalie and my mom were the only ones in the house and they were already dressed, as was Alice.
"What are you doing," I asked Alice as she sat me down on a chair.
She said, "We're getting you ready. You'll look amazing tonight."
My mom added, "More amazing than you already are."
I smiled nervously. "So I'm you're little doll today," I asked Alice.
She smiled and nodded. I sighed. My mom rubbed my shoulder.
"We all had to go through it, honey."
I laughed nervously. "Should I be scared?"
My mom nodded reluctantly. I sighed.
"All right, Alice. Bring it on."