A Father’s Plea For Forgiveness
“Dad-da!” she clapped giggling.
He froze. His angel had just uttered her first word; he couldn’t believe it. He had always pampered his baby girl and looked after her as much as his wife did. And hearing her call him ‘dad-da’ was simply an amazing experience. She was Daddy’s little girl through and through.
“Say it again baby girl!” he exclaimed. He was filled with joy. Lifting her up and holding in her arms he pleaded. “Please, please say it again...‘Dad-da’? Please sweetheart…come-on you can do it!” he encouraged her.
She watched him with an amused expression, a cute little smile on her round baby face.
“Say it?” he begged.
She just continued staring at him, her wide chocolate brown eyes wide. She giggled and mumbled something in her baby language.
“Well, at least you told it once,” he sighed still happy. “Momma is going to be so jealous you know? Sad that she missed it, but I’m going to tell her now,” he picked up his cell to text his loving wife. She was out with his sister shopping, he would have called her but he knew his evil pixie sister would have confiscated her cell.
“Boo-boo,” she tried to reach for his phone as he balanced her in his left hand.
“No, you’re not supposed to trouble Daddy right?” he teased her finishing up the text and sending it. He put it out of her reach distracting her.
“Daddy loves you so very much,” he tickled her belly. She giggled.
“Babogishihoo,” she mumbled and laughed.
“Aw, you know I understand nothing,” he told her still tickling her.
He put her down; he had to clean up the dishes. Making sure none of her toys were harmful and everything else was out of her reach he made her sit down and turned toward the kitchen. As much as he would love to play with his daughter, he had work to do.
“Dad-da boo!” she exclaimed in a high pitched voice claiming his attention once more. It felt like she was asking him to stay with her.
Forgetting his chores once more he held her in his arms again marveling the fact that she had called him dad-da again. At that moment, he knew he would do anything for his little girl. She was his world, and he loved her more than his life.
“I love you Renesmee…”he whispered hugging her close to his heart.
Chapter 1: Unbearable
There was blood everywhere. A little girl lay unconscious as a team of five doctors hovered over her.
“Her blood pressure is decreasing!” “There’s internal bleeding.”
“Breathing is inconsistent…” Do something. Please oh god. Don’t let this happen. Please! I was beyond crazy. I needed a miracle.
“…we are losing her…”
“I love you Daddy. Forever.”
Then the monitor beeped. And a straight line passed through the screen.
“NO!” he woke up screaming; just as he did each night. The same memory haunted him, each and every night. He was sweating and tears rolled down his eyes. His hands clung to his head as he succumbed to his pain. He was a picture of agony.
“No….my daughter…” he cried.
He remembered everything about her; every moment was etched in his memory. He also remember how she died perfectly. Maybe if he could forget it would be easier? Six years had passed since that unfortunate day, and yet he remembered and felt as if it was yesterday. He didn’t let go…he never could.
He got up went to the bathroom and splashed his face with cold water without glancing at his face; it was hard for him to look in the mirror. He couldn’t bear looking at his face. It just angered him and caused him immense pain and made those memories even real.
Instead of going back to sleep he grabbed a can of beer and landed on the couch putting on the news and staring at it blankly. It was just 4 am still, and he had three hours to kill to get ready and leave for work. After finishing the beer he went around trying to clean his apartment. It wasn’t much, just a single bedroom apartment with a small living room and a kitchen cum dining room. Despite living well off for most of his life living in these conditions didn’t bother him.
He changed into his tracks after cleaning up his dishes and gathered his laundry and headed to the laundry room. There wasn’t anyone in the laundry room, and it wouldn’t have made any difference even if someone was. He was no talker…and everybody knew that. Making sure everything was set right he headed out for his morning run. He just did it to kill sometime. And Seattle wasn’t a quiet place like how his hometown was, it was a busy city and he found distractions. When he finished his run he returned to the laundry room, collected his clothes and headed to his apartment.
He took a shower and got ready in black trousers and a white shirt, putting on his blazer and shoes he headed out. His next stop was a small diner three blocks away where he had his breakfast each day-cheese grilled sandwich, salad and tea. Then he headed to work.
Work was monotonous, every morning he was given a set was documents which he had to assign and then send it to the rest of the employees with bigger jobs than him. He hated doing what he did, but he knew he couldn’t go back to his old profession; he didn’t have the guts to do it. The thought alone made him want to throw up.
Trying to concentrate on his work he worked in silence.
“Anthony!” he looked up reluctantly.
“Hello Tanya,” he nodded stiffly and went back to his work.
“How was your weekend?” she asked brightly.
“The same,” he muttered.
“Aw, you really need to do something fun,” she stated.
“I don’t mind,” he muttered again.
“Yeah I know” she sighed.
“So, do you want to eat lunch together?” she asked cautiously.
He almost rolled his eyes. It was always the same with Tanya Denali, she spoke to him too brightly each day and went back dejected every time.
“Um, you carry on, I gotta finish this,” he pointed toward a stack of already checked papers.
“Oh…okay, later.” She still smiled and headed out.
He wished that she would quit asking him daily. Not even the wedding band on his ring finger made difference anymore. But they knew that he lived alone so maybe they had formed their own theories. Sighing he eyed his ring; he missed the woman whom he had promised forever. Stay with her through thick and thin and love her. Of course he still loved her and he never forgot her but he couldn’t face her. He was afraid to face her even more than he was to face himself. She had trusted him to save their daughter and he had just broken it.
“No…come-on! Respond baby!” he screamed.
“Turn it higher!” he ordered. He sounded quite mad. He didn’t get a response.
“Do it!” he cried. He was trying to shock her, try to get her heart beating again.
“Dr. Cullen…that’s the limit.”
“Edward…she’s gone mate.” A softer voice said.
Then it finally hit him, she was really gone. He would never hear her laughter, never give in to her wishes, never watch her grow up, never comfort her when she cries, never promise her that everything would be okay, never watch her graduate, never hear her say “I love you Daddy” ever again. Every possibility had just ended. She was gone. Really gone.
“Do you want me you to break the news?” someone asked him.
He just shook his head. He moved his fingers through her soft hair and kissed her on the forehead.
Numbly he walked out, where the rest of the family wait. All of them stood up and came up to him as soon as they saw him.
“Edward…what happened?” her brown eyes wide with anxiety. She studied him for a second and saw the answer in his eyes.
“I-I...” he couldn’t even tell her how sorry he was.
“She’s gone,” he choked.
She just stared at him frozen. She looked so dead. He knew that it should scare him, but he felt nothing. Nothing at all.
He turned and walked away, never looked back, never heard the cries of his family.
That was the last he saw of them. He had just left.
A/N: Hey guys! I’m here again, with a new plot. Well, this is sort of like an experiment. I was watching TV and life has been boring for me, and this idea just rolled in my head and I knew if I didn’t write it now I wouldn’t ever.
I know it is hazy and maybe even a little confusing, but I really hope you liked it.
Please forgive me for any errors. Since I’m not a doctor or a pre-med and have very little idea about it I’m not going to be very specific on some parts.
This was a spontaneous idea just let me know your feedback and whether I should continue writing it.
So…yeah, review! *nervous and excited*
yay he's going home!! i cant wait for everyones reaction... i think rosalies will be interesting.. post more soon!!!
:D That is AMAZING! XD Can't wait for you to update!
Chapter 5: Irresponsible
Edward didn’t know what to do now that he was here. He knew his father would be working at the Forks Hospital at this time of the day but he didn’t have the strength to walk into that place. He wanted to see Bella but he wasn’t sure whether he should, not yet anyway. He decided to meet his mother first and hoped desperately that she was alone at home. After paying the taxi driver he walked toward his parents’ home. It looked the same as it had six years ago. Feeling quite numb he walked up to the porch, he could hear dull voices through the door. He knocked on the door thrice. He counted the seconds as he stared at the door fixedly.
Ten seconds passed as nobody came up to the door, he was about to turn back and return when he heard the door creak open.
His mother stood in front of him looking older than he remembered, but beautiful all the same. Her eyes widened as she registered him, and she mumbled, “I’ll call you back,” into the phone.
Tears welled up in her eyes as she began to cry, Edward hated to see her in pain.
“Mom,” he choked, he realized that he was crying too. She hugged him holding him tighter and he hugged her back, both of them crying. The mother and son duo stood that way until they heard a soft voice.
A little boy stood behind Edward’s mother, his eyes widened with worry when he noticed that she was crying and looked up defensively at Edward.
“Why you cwying?” he asked her innocently. “Don’t cwy,” he mumbled and hugged her leg.
“Oh honey!” Esme picked up the little boy and hugged him. Edward stood there watching waiting for the pain to hit him…it usually did when he saw little children, but it never came. He was probably numb still. Feeling relieved he watched as Esme comforted the boy. His curly brown black hair reminded him of his brother Emmett. So this was Max. His nephew.
“Hello Max,” Edward said holding out his hand. “I’m Edward, your uncle.” His mother looked a little surprised that he knew about Max but didn’t question him.
He looked at Edward and then at Esme, when she gave him an encouraging smile he looked back at Edward and said, “Unca?”
“Yeah. Uncle,” Edward smiled. It felt different to talk to a kid; he had forgotten how much fun it was. They were so naive and trusting.
“Me Max.” he mumbled shyly and after another encouraging look from Esme he held Edward’s arm.
“Nice meeting you Max,” Edward smiled trying to not make it depressing.
“Come on in Edward,” Esme said softly, not meeting his eyes and eyeing his duffel; it didn’t exactly stand for permanent stay. Hell, he wasn’t even sure how long he was staying here let alone thinking of making it permanent. He felt bad for putting his mother through so much of pain.
“Why don’t you continue playing sweetheart? I’ll fix some food for you,” Esme said putting Max down.
“Wokay,” Max nodded and with one look at Edward ran into the familiar hall. Edward followed Esme into the kitchen. She placed a chicken sandwich and some salad in front of him.
“Mom, I’m not hungry.” Edward lied. He was actually ravenous, but didn’t feel like admitting it.
“Just eat Edward,” she said placing a long tray in the oven. Without another word Edward dove it, it was absolutely delicious! His mother was the best cook he had known and she made even the simplest of things feel like heaven. He had missed this…a lot.
After a while he realized that Esme was watching him with a sad smile. “Where have you been honey?” she asked, her eyes watering again. “You look…messed up.” she said softly.
“Mom…” Edward reached out for her hand.
“It’s been so hard on all of us! It wasn’t just my granddaughter who left us that night, my son abandoned us too.”
“I’m sorry,” Edward said looking down. To his own ears it fell flat.
“It’s not your fault Edward,” she repeated the same thing that Jasper had. He didn’t reply, to him it was his fault!
“I’m glad your back,” Esme hugged him once again. But there was a question mark hanging at the end of that sentence, but Esme didn’t voice her thoughts. Neither did Edward. She wanted to believe that he was here with them permanently and Edward didn’t know the answer to it.
Esme and Edward sat together on the couch watching Max color on the floor; though he was home Edward still was feeling very uneasy. He was of course happy to see his mother but he also thought that he had acted very rashly and should have stayed where he had been. Meeting Jasper and the dream about Bella had just acted as a catalyst. His thoughts stopped on Bella, Esme had updated him on everyone in the family except Bella. He had wanted to know about her but had been hesitant to ask. Now that he thought about her, he wanted to see her. She had been the real reason why he came here.
“Mom I want to-” he was cut short by his sister Alice entering the living room. She was carrying a colored bag to huge for her arms and placed in on the floor next to the couch.
“I have ordered those antics Mum, and asked Howard to transport them and they will reach-” she froze when she saw him. Edward stood up feeling nervous. Alice was almost two heads shorter than him but by the look she gave him he cowered. She was glaring at him like she could kill. And he was absolutely terrified.
“What are you doing here!” she screeched. Through his peripheral vision he saw Esme picking up a very surprised Max in her arms and exiting the room.
“Hi.” He simply mumbled.
Alice was fuming. “How dare you?!” she screamed. “How dare you!” and she started hitting him.
“Ugh! Do you know how hard it has been on us?!” she said shrilly pounding his chest.
“I’m sorry!” Edward exclaimed. It still felt like a lie.
“Sorry?! You are sorry?! YOU CANT JUST GET AWAY WITH A LAME SORRY ALRIGHT?!” she screamed at the top of her lungs. He didn’t know whether they were angry tears or sad tears or a mixture of both but his sister was crying too.
“Alice…” he said softly and tried to hug her.
“Don’t touch me! I hate you!” she pushed him off. Still he pulled her into a hug and held her as she cried ignoring that she was struggling to get away.
“Let go Edward!” she warned him crying still.
“Shut up squirt,” he said using the nickname he had for her when they were kids.
“You are such a jerk!” she exclaimed.
Finally he let go, he couldn’t ask everyone their forgiveness just by hugging them and saying sorry. His mother had spoken to him in a calm manner and Alice had simply been wild, but he knew that both of them needed an explanation. And neither of them forgave him for what he had done…not for killing his daughter but just abandoning them.
He sighed. If just two of his family members were being so hard, he didn’t know how hard Bella was going to be. But she was Bella…she had always been different. So he knew that he was going to be surprised. He was so nervous…and scared at the same time. He didn’t know what to expect from her; infact he didn’t know what to expect from himself either. He just knew that he needed some time to prepare before he saw her…he wasn’t sure whether his family would let him see her though. Alice’s reaction alone was a sign. But she was his wife after all…again he wasn’t sure.
Just then he heard an audible gasp, Bella stood there looking shocked. So much for him wanting to prepare himself. Then her expression changed, she looked like her worst nightmare had come true. She was in agony.
Feeling cold and extremely numb Edward watched her and then his eyes slid down to the young boy with russet skin and black hair whose hand Bella was holding. His heart stopped…literally.
A/N: Uh oh…sorry for the cliff hanger! What do you think of it? And who’s the boy? *guess?*
Hope you liked the chapter.
What?!!?!!:? Why does Bella have Jake's kid? Did she cheat on Edward?
Uff...I so want to answer your questions but cant. Sorry!
Just hold on for a little more longer...I'll post ASAP.
Thanks for reviewing. :)
No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You can't stop there.....BRB, I'm gonna go cry....
Okay, I'm back to review now. Wow, that was a good chapter! I'm really excited to see what happens with Bella and Edward...
the young boy with russet skin and black hair whose hand Bella was holding.
So, did she have Jacob's kid? Please update like as soon as you can! :)
Ooh! Loved your review. :)
Umm...can't talk about the little boy now...but you'll know more in the next chapter.
I just hope you guys dont end up killing me. :P
Thanks..I will.! :)
I will. :)
Come on, Nik...why did you left it there?
How could you? LOL
I can't wait for the next chapter!!!
OMG! Why does Bella have Jakes child? Please tell me she is just baby sitting or something! can't wait for your next update!
You'll know in the next chapter. *i know that vague and irritating.*
But...thank you! :)