The Twilight Saga

Chapter 1 Pain

Hopeless is how it felt. The darkness had swallowed me up. There is no light standing here at the precipice of life and death.

I was ready to end the pain; to let it all go and take the final step.

The sun shown as brightly as it did less than four weeks ago but it
didn’t warm me. The last time I was here, life held promise. Remembering
that day - the sun so warm, the sky a beautiful shade of blue; life looked so
wonderful. My beautiful little baby kicking me from the inside made me think
that for once all my dreams would come true.

That day I sat there thinking of my mother. She said to me, “Esme, your name means "to be loved" in Old French. You have always been an extremely warm girl who is gifted with the ability to love completely. One day, you will meet a man and know he is the one for you, my sweet child, You will truly make your family happy.”
We would walk in the woods on the outskirts of Columbus, Ohio - close to our little home with a picnic lunch. My mother would bring her favorite books for us to read and I think that made me want to become a teacher so badly. My mother a very warm and caring person and was always in terse terms with my father, a very cold and calculating man. It was hard to understand how she could love a man like him.

One day she told me he had not always been like that. At first, he was very caring and so that was the man she saw every time she looked at him. I was the last of my friends to be unmarried and my mother knew of my hope of becoming a teacher. My father would not hear of it. It was after my father’s best friend Charles Evenson Sr. oldest son, Charles Jr., came back from college, I was hard pressed into dating and eventually marrying him.

My forced marriage to him was something I grew to regret. Charles was a very sadistic man and could not make love to a woman without hurting her. He was very masochistic in his thoughts. He was truly delusional and thought that he owned me. I knew he could never love me.

My honeymoon was a horror show! The pain inflected on me was inhumane. We were not even married for two months before he made the decision to move us away from our families; supposedly to start a new job. The truth it was that so no one could see the extent of his abuse. He had even told me to call him master in the privacy of our own home! I felt as if I was doomed to never known what it was like to have a man love me and make love to me.

In my whole life, I could think of only one man who ever treated me with any kindness or respect. When I was a mere 16 years old, I had fallen out of the tree in our backyard and broke my leg. My mother had taken me to the town doctor who had been in our little town for less than two years. I don’t know why I had always remembered Dr. Carlisle Cullen. He was the most handsome man I’ve ever seen but I believe it was more than that. Although I was in terrible pain, this man’s cold hands felt like home to me - whatever “home” was. It is strange that I remember even years later. Looking back now, I knew from the first time I saw him, he would be my only true love and a part of me realized that I was missing my soul mate.

The only time I ever got a reprieve from the constant abuse was in 1920. Charles was drafted and went to fight in the War. As bad as it sounds, there were times that I had hoped he would never come home again. There were nights where I would dream that I was a widow and I would never see him again. And yes, that he would have a long and painful death. I do not know why I didn’t run away back then. I guess I thought I had nowhere to go; nowhere to run. If I had gone home, my father would have sent me right back to Charles. How I wished I had known that my father was going to die just one week after Charles had gotten home, I would have ran. As soon as Charles returned from the war, the abuse got started all over again. In fact, it got worse. I didn’t feel as if I “deserved” it so I began to wonder if there was someone else. Charles would just say “There are women in this world that like what I do. They would ask for this and be happy.” When he was done with me, Charles would stare out the window. He even once turned to me and said, “I should have never come back to you. You’re cold and you have no passion!”

The only thought going through my head when he said things like that to me was “NO!” I would not wish him on another young woman. Shortly after his return, I realized I was pregnant. I knew I would have to run away for the sake of my baby. I started to think of ways to disappear. He would find me if I went home to my mother. I knew she would be happy to see me and she would believe me about Charles but that was the first place he would look. After I was far away and safe, I could write and tell her about the baby. I would tell her everything and she would know that I was safe and happy and maybe, hopefully, she could come and see us.

It was in that frame of mind, as I cleaned my already clean house, there was a knock on the door. There stood a portly man dressed in a nice suit. He asked, “Are you Esme PlattEvenson?”

I replied, “Yes, I am. May I help you, sir?”

He proceeded to tell me the most heartbreaking news. My loving mother had died of a heart attack. He was there to give me the deed to our small home in Columbus and the large sum of money that she had saved to send me to school. How could I possibly think of this as a blessing? I did, though. With my mother’s death, she had given me a way to make a new life for myself and my unborn child.

I asked him if he would handle the funeral for me, along with selling the house. He could pay all the funeral expenses with the money from the sell. I told him that I would write to him later on about the remaining money. It took me less than an hour to pack up the few things that I would need to make my escape.

Then, I ran.

I ran away from the life I hated. I was happy to have it all behind me. I went to the train station and purchased a ticket on the first train out of town. It didn’t matter where to – I just needed to leave. The first train was heading to South Dakota. By the time the train left the station, I didn’t care where I was going as long as I was going. I sat at the train station for the two hours in fear that Charles would find me. I looked at the door every time someone came in. My heart beating so fast; I thought it would beat out of my body. When the train finally arrived, I felt as if I could breathe again!

I never looked back. I knew that if Charles ever found me, I would be dead!

Chapter 2 New Hope
With the money my mother had left me, I was able to rent a nice little house around the corner from the hospital. More importantly, it was five blocks from the local college I would be attending. My dreams were simple: I would become a teacher and I would bring my baby into the world. We would be happy. I had taken back my maiden name and told everyone I had met in this little town that my husband had died in the war. I was already in the fifth month of my pregnancy and I needed to find a doctor that could help me with the delivery of my baby.

I arrived for my appointment early; sitting with four other women that were farther along in their pregnancies. They were chattering amongst themselves like birds when I heard one ask, “Do you know which doctor’s in the clinic today?”
A voice replied, “Yes, I do. It’s that good looking one; the one with cold hands.”
I knew of only one doctor who was good-looking and had cold hands. Could it be him? I held my breath.

With a large smile on her face, the first lady said, “His hands may be cold but he can melt you with his topaz eyes.”
I couldn’t believe it.

My name was soon called and I was shown to small room and instructed to disrobe. The nurse handed me a dingy white sheet to cover up with. I did as the nurse instructed and then the butterflies came as I was waiting. What if it was the doctor I knew – Dr. Cullen?
Chaotic feelings of nervousness and anticipation were rushing through me. Just then, the door opened and standing in front of me was Dr. Carlisle Cullen. He hadn’t changed at all! He was just as exceptionally good-looking as the last time I saw him -almost 10 years ago. He did not look at me right away; he was reading something in a file he was holding.

“So Mrs. Platt, how far are you long in your pregnancy?”
He finally looked at me; his topaz eyes registering shock and surprise. I was certain he was just as delighted at seeing me as I was at seeing him. Once again, the feeling that I had almost ten years ago came rushing back. How could this be, that this strange man could make me feel so at ease, so comfortable, so at home, with just his presence?

“Dr, Cullen,” I said, “It is so nice to see you again. Do you remember me?”
“Yes, Mrs. Platt, I do. It is so nice to see you again and under such good circumstances.”

The delight in his eyes was tangible and I thought mine might look the same. I told myself that it was because he reminded me of home; of a younger, more carefree time. Deep down, I had to admit to myself that even at the age of sixteen, he stirred something in me that I couldn’t explain. As he started the examination, the touch of his cool hands on my wrist was electrifying. It took my breath away and then I realized that he was speaking to me.

“So, Mrs. Platt, has your pregnancy gone normal up to this point?”
“Yes, it has - a little morning sickness at first.” I said, my voice trailing off as he let go of my wrist.

“Please lay back and I will listen to the baby.”
I did as he asked. He nodded to the nurse and I was then covered again – this time, the bottom half of my naked body. His hands were on my round belly and it was like little bolts of electricity were sparking against my skin. My baby kicked, I thought, in reaction to it.

The last time a man had touched me it was in anger and domination. Thoughts swirled around my head. I never once thought a man would touch me again. Yet, his touch was stirring something quite different in me.
A tear rolled down my cheek.

“Esme! Have I hurt you?” he asked, concern written all over his face. Another tear rolled down my cheek. Carlisle brushed it away with his finger.
“No, you haven’t. I think it is just the hormones.” I said, trying to smile.
“Yes, pregnancy is hard on the body and hormones” he said.

Going back into doctor mode, he listened to the baby’s heartbeat. Once he was done, he offered me his hand and again, a shoot of electricity coursed from his hand into mine. He looked into my eyes for one heartbeat and then let go of my hand. Grabbing a hold of my folder, he started writing in it.

As he turned towards the door, he quickly said to get dressed and that he would speak to me and MY HUSBAND in my office. Oh God! He thought I was there with Charles!

I got dressed as quickly as I could. A million different thoughts were rushing around my mind. My hands were shaking so badly. I was escorted to an office with his name on the nameplate by the nurse. She gave me a stern look and coldly asked “Were you not told by the secretary to bring your husband to this first visit?”
I looked at her and replied, “Yes, I was. My husband was killed four months ago in the war.”

Her voice was much warmer when she apologized. She placed my folder on the desk and left; closing the door quietly. I sat there, thinking about Carlisle, when I heard some voices outside the door. Carlisle walked in and I felt heat rush to my face. I couldn’t believe I was blushing!

“I hope you don’t mind, but I like to call my patients by their first name. You can call me Carlisle. The nurse told me about your husband. I am so sorry.”
I just nodded in agreement

“So, Esme, do you have any questions for me?” Carlisle asked.
I wanted to ask so many questions! I settled on the one question that has been plaguing me for the last five months.

“Yes,” I said in a whisper. “Do you think that someone is born bad? I mean, if the father was, well, let’s just say, not right. Will the little child be…..” I couldn’t finish. I stopped, hoping he would understand.

I didn’t see him get up and move to my chair. In an instant, he was kneeling in front of me; his cold hands over my warm ones.
He looked at me rather pensively. “Esme, why would you ask me that? Is there something you wish to tell me?”

Before I could even think of stopping, I began to cry uncontrollably. “Carlisle, I don’t want to lie to you. My husband isn’t dead. I ran away from him! He is very controlling person and he hurt me. I couldn’t let my baby grow up around him. The abuse, all of the bruises, the pain - I couldn’t live that way anymore. I just know he would kill me if he knew where I was. That’s why I had to lie. I am so sorry.”

I could feel my whole body began to shake as I cried. I felt so ashamed. I covered my face with my hands as I continued to cry. Suddenly, I felt his arms embrace me. He held me close, patting me on my back and murmuring words of ease. I wanted to embrace him in return but I couldn’t move. He held me so tightly.

“My dear Esme, don’t apologize to me. No one should ever be treated like that, least of all, you.” Carlisle said as I leaned my head back and looked into his eyes. Although his voice was barely above a whisper, I could hear an edge to it. In his eyes, his beautiful topaz eyes, I could see anger; a murderous rage. Carlisle’s eyes seemed to grow darker with every passing second. In awe, I watched as his eyes change from topaz to black. His arms that held me so securely were beginning to shake.

“This will be just between you and me. To answer your question, Esme, your child has a perfect soul. His father’s sadistic qualities will not be passed on. Your baby sounds just perfect and with you as its mother, the child will be fine. I promise you that.”
In those hidden corners of my heart, I knew that what this wonderful man was saying was true. He calmed my frayed nerves.

“Thank you,” I whispered to him. Carlisle got up, touching my cheek one last time and went to sit behind his desk.
“Esme, everything looks good. I would say in about 3 ½ months you should give birth. I will need to see you in the clinic in four weeks.”

We stood up together and he led me to the door. As he opened it, he said, “If you need anything, just contact the clinic. They can get a message to me anytime, day or night. I look forward to seeing you again.”

He then picked up my hand and kissed it gently.

Chapter 3 Rage

Carlisle POV

Rage ran through my veins as I tried to put myself in check. Calmly, I escorted Esme out the door. I stood there by the door and watched as she made her next appointment. My entire body was shaking with controlled emotion until I was finally able to turn back into my office and close my office door behind me. Quietly, I walked over to my desk and with one hand, broke it into small pieces. Through my rage, I could hear the nurses murmuring and wondering if I was alright. I called out that I needed a few more minutes to prepare myself for my next patient but truthfully, I was thinking back to my first meeting with the beautiful Esme.
1911 - Columbus, Ohio

After two years in Columbus, life had become very routine and uneventful. Every day, prior to my shift, I would sign in and wait for something new to happen. It never did. I knew that very soon, I would need to leave and start over. If I was lucky, I could stay in a place for five to seven years but not here. Lately, I had begun to grow weary of my nomadic life. I was becoming restless and the loneliness was too much. I needed a companion; someone to love a creature like me.

“Dr Cullen, we have a teenage girl here with a broken leg in Room 2.”
“I’ll be right there,” I called out as I quickly scrubbed up and prepared my instruments. As I walked down the hall, the first thing I noted was a scent. It was wonderful! It called to me and had me rushing through the hospital corridors. I had heard of this “blood calling” when I lived in Italy but thought it a myth. Surely, all human blood was the same. But now…Now I knew the myth was a reality. For the first time in over two hundred years, the smell of human blood was enticing me. It took all of my self control not to barge into Room 2 and devour its source.

Opening the door, I saw the most enchanting young girl. Her face was shaped in a perfect heart and even while in pain; she looked up at me and smiled. A soft blush stole across her cheeks and she quickly looked down. Her caramel colored hair and eyes were a perfect contrast to her soft ivory skin. She was so delicate and fragile – almost doll-like in her beauty. I stood there looking at her, her blood calling to me with every breath.
“Hello. My name is Dr. Carlisle Cullen and you are..?” I asked, hoping she would look at me again.

Shyly, she looked up at me. Her glance had venom flowing to the fangs in my mouth.
“I am Esme Platt and this is my mother,” she said, gesturing to the older woman by her side. I never noticed that there was someone else in the room with us. I knew I had to gain control of the situation before it got out of hand. A vampire had to be hyperaware of their surroundings at all times, yet the sight of this beauty rendered me senseless. Sitting in the corner was a small woman with the same color hair as Esme; a few graceful strands of gray mixed in and she had the same gorgeous green eyes. She looked older than her years and carried the scent of wet earth; a farmer’s wife I immediately guessed.
“Hello, Sir. I’m Sarah Platt. My daughter fell out of the tree in our yard.”

Walking over to the hospital bed, I knew that my cold hands would shock her but I wasn’t able to mask the coldness by rubbing them together. Esme jumped a little but I was not prepared for the electricity sparking against my skin. Esme smiled at me, blushing, and said “Your hands feel good. They are like ice.”
Her leg was clearly broken with bone pushing at her skin. She had minor scrapes and cuts along her legs and arms from the fall. It was the little amounts of blood drops that held my attention. The monster I never let out of me wanted to come out. The desire for a taste, however small, was pushing against my control. I backed away slowly from the examination table and told her that I would have the nurse clean her up. I had to escape! Quickly, I told Esme I would return once the nurse was done to brace her leg and that she would have to stay overnight to make sure she didn’t have a concussion or any internal bleeding from the fall. I practically ran from the room, stopping only to tell the nurse to clean Esme’s cuts. I didn’t even stop to wash my hands. I had to go outside and regain my composure and my control.
How could one human – a fragile human – affect me so?


A knock on the door brought me out of my memories. Donna, my loyal nurse, advised me of the arrival of my next patient. I glanced around my office and saw the damage I had inflicted on my desk. I would have to return later on tonight with a replacement. I cleaned up the debris and locked the office door behind me as I went to see my next patient.

At the end of the day, I walked home, attempting to walk at human rate, when all I wanted to do was run. Thoughts of Esme swirled in my mind; her scent and her face taking over. Someone had dared to hurt her. Her exam had revealed numerous scars - cuts and burns on the tops of her arms, on her legs and her stomach. Rage, the elemental feeling of pure hatred, roared through me. Although I had promised never to hurt a human, the man who had dared to harm MY Esme, would die. He would die knowing that it was his own barbaric actions that caused him to suffer. Revenge would never be a sweet as when I took his life.
I was close to home and knew that Edward could hear my angry thoughts. Edward had been my companion for nearly three years now. I had changed Edward a few years ago as he laid dying of Spanish Influenza. Both he and his mother had been patients of mine in Chicago. His mother’s last words to me were a request to save him. No one had paid attention to me as I made my last rounds on the floor that night. I gave him the Gift and then covered him up. Silently, I pushed the “corpse” to the morgue and waited a few more hours before sneaking his body out.
After Edward’s change, he noticed that he could “hear” peoples’ thoughts. As more time passed, the better he got at it. He said he could hear me best. It didn’t surprise me that he was on the porch as I walked up to the house.
“Care to explain all of this rage, Carlisle? Who is Esme and could you really kill her husband?”
My memories of her crying in my office resurfaced, along with our first meeting all those years ago. I let Edward see and hear it all…

The memories came flooding back…
The nurse had done a good job cleaning up Esme’s cuts. The smell of her blood not as strong as before with the antiseptic smell.
“So, Esme, how is the pain?”
I could hear her heart begin to race. Did I make her nervous, I wondered? Esme held her breath and quietly replied, “It’s not too bad.”
I examined her injury again and she winced. I was certain the pain of a broken bone was beginning to take a toll on her. I prepared an injection of morphine for her and asked that her mother wait in the waiting room so that I could set and then cast her leg. I didn’t lie to Esme when I told her that setting of
her leg would be painful. She looked positively scared to death! With my nurse’s help, we aligned her bones and put the cast on. Thankfully, Esme had passed out as soon as we started. The thought of her suffering more pain inspired me to work as quickly as possible.
Esme slept through it all and we were able to transfer her to a room. Once she was settled in, I set about locating her mother. Mrs. Platt appeared to be a nervous wreck in the waiting room. I reassured her that Esme was doing fine and that her staying in the hospital was just a precaution. When I mentioned that she could stay with Esme, Mrs. Platt said she would like to but that she needed to go home to her husband. I told her that she could stop by the next day and that by then, the morphine would have worn off and that Esme would likely be awake. Mrs. Platt went to Esme’s room, kissed her daughter lovingly on the cheek, and left.
I cannot explain what compelled me to do what I did. I had never done it before with any of my previous patients but I ended spending the entire night in a chair in her room.

She moved a little during the night and occasionally groaned in pain. I would immediately go to her side to comfort her but there was little that I could do. Finally, around dawn, Esme began to wake. Her green eyes sought me out in the early morning shadows. I was frozen to my seat with her gaze.
“Good morning, Esme. How are you feeling? I can give you more medication if you would like.”
I could the hear the raspiness in her voice as she replied, “No, Dr Cullen. I feel a little sore and my leg is so heavy.”
As I looked at her, I began to question my sanity. How could this young woman, this woman-child, affect me so much? Even after falling out of a tree and an overnight hospital stay, she looked absolutely stunning. Was is possible for a vampire to fall in love with a human at first sight? I was beginning to think so.
“Dr Cullen, are you alright? You look so far away.”
Esme was touching my hand and I could feel that electric shock run through me. I smiled at her and hoped that she could feel what I was feeling.
“I am fine, dear Esme, and it has been a long night. It’s almost time for me to go home.”
My eyes widen in shock as a tear rolled down her cheek.
“Please don’t cry,” I said, wiping away the tear with my finger. Thank God for my vampire speed as I tasted her tear on my fingertip. It was the sweetest thing I had ever tasted in all my years.
I was about to ask her about her tears when I heard her mother out in the hall asking for Esme’s room. I moved back away from her bed as Mrs. Platt and the nurse walked in the door Mrs. Platt immediately went to Esme’s side, worry lines etched in her face. “I was so worried, Sweetheart. How do you feel?”

Esme was not looking at her mother; her eyes were locked on mine. I knew that she felt the same as I. She was my soulmate and I was hers. The thought of that was joyous and elating but then reality reared its ugly head. To keep her safe, I would have to leave. The sooner, the better! Esme was human and I was not. I would have to leave her so that she could live her life.
“Please excuse me, ladies. My shift is over. I will leave instructions for your care with the nurse. It was a pleasure.” Those were the last words I said to Esme as I left her hospital room. I knew I would not see her again.

“Good God, Carlisle! You never told me!” Edward said, instantly coming to my side. “When do we take care of that husband of hers?”
“No, Edward,” I replied. “We cannot harm him, no matter how I feel. But he will never hurt Esme again.”
“Carlisle, I would not hurt him too badly.” Edward said.
I looked at Edward and he laughed. Throwing his arm across my shoulder, he led me into the house; trying to talk me into hurting Esme’s husband. “Come on, Dad! You know you want to!”
I could only smile at Edward. He only called me Dad when he wanted something from me. It was fitting since I regarded him as my son.
“Come on, Son. Let’s go play chess.”

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The weeks passed quickly my days been taken up by class, and fixing up the little spare room for the baby it help me keep my mind on the important things, but at night alone in my bed my mind would go back to Carlisle his hands on mine the electricity coming from them the hard cold texture. The scent of him close citrus, sea salt, homemade bread, ginger all that and more. He was
Completely mysterious and sexy I could hear him whispering to me
“I should have kissed more than your hand” in my dream “It’s not too late,” I told him as he bent and pressed his lips to mine his arms went around me, strong holding me tight putting his cold hands on my body Carlisle making love to me he was winter cold against the warmth of my dreaming self The outline of his body was frigid mist. It burned my skin, sending electric currents through me, heating me with a desire. I cried out in my sleep “Carlisle!” I heard him saying “Esme your soul knows me” he laugh, it was seductive. I wanted to drown in it. I leaned forward, closing my eyes and
gasping aloud as his chill hands brushed against my breasts, sending shooting sensations that were painful but deliciously erotic to places in my body that made me feel out of control. “Be my love, truly, in body as well as soul” Carlisle said. I awoke shaking and I swear I could smell him in my room.
A few days before my next clinic appointment I was running to get out of the rain I ran into small store, and before I could stop myself I slid on the wet floor. Too cold hands reached out to catch me sending electric currents through me I looked up see Carlisle Cullen standing there helping me.
He said: “Esme are you okay! Well it looks like you really fallen for me” he laugh and it was the same seductive sound from my dream I don’t know how it possibly but he was even better looking with a big smile on his lips
I blush has I looked into his totally gorgeous eyes said: “Isn’t that the way it happens patients falling in love with there doctor” than the blush deepened when I realized what I just said. I got my breath I toke a step back out of his arms
“This is a pleasant surprise , Esme” he said and then seemed to remember the young man standing next to him, Carlisle looked at him and said; ‘Edward this is Esme Platt” and then he looking back at me Carlisle said: “Esme this is my brother Edward”
Damn, all I can say is that all Cullen men are gorgeous
“Mrs. Platt so nice to meet you” Edward said
I said “thank you and please call me Esme”
The man from behind the counter just seeing who had walked in said: “ Mr. Cullen the sheet music you ordered last month just came in” Edward looked at him and said: “that’s great Tom, do you think you get us some hot tea please” Tom nodded and went into the back room. Carlisle escorted me to a small table and pulled out a chair for me to sit in. Edward sat across from me and said: “please call me Edward, Esme”
Carlisle took the seat next to me even though he was inches away from me I could fell a strange electricity coming from him
Tom came out and placed 3cups hot tea and small cookies on the table then he came back with a package of sheet music for Edward.
Looking down at the package
I asked: “so Edward are you musical”
“Yes he said: I have played the piano for years our father insisted on it, I just starting composing to”
“That is wonderful I hope someday to learn how to play the piano myself” I commented
He smiled at me and said: “it is something to pass the time I have been also taking some classes at the college here”
Carlisle said: “yes Edward is very good with his music and he is top in his class” Edward looked a little embarrassed
I looked up into his eyes the same Topaz as his brothers but he looked tired. The hot tea helped warm me a little, but I did notice Carlisle and Edward had never touched their tea. Every once in a while I noticed Carlisle looked at Edward and nodded as if answering a question that was never asked. One time Edward asked me if I had lived here long .
I looked at him not wanting to say to much and said quietly
“no not long” looking down into my tea cup the hole story replayed in my mind, the years of pain, the news of my mother, my run to the train station, the fear of Charles if he found me, his face it all ran thought my mind. I could fell the hot tears in my eyes I WOULD NOT CRY not here with Carlisle just inches from me. When I looked back at Edward his eyes were black with rage or was it just me I don’t know I noticed Carlisle looked at Edward and nodded again. Carlisle got up from the table and said “I need to get back to the hospital and Edward don’t you have a class soon” with a quick good bye and I will see you soon Esme. Carlisle stop to pay the man and they were gone leaving there full cups of tea and all the cookies still on the tray. strange.
The rain had almost stopped by the time I was walking home I spent the night making the baby a quilt and thinking Carlisle and Edward something was different about both of them Carlisle’s gentlemanly way was from centuries back it seemed he was an old soul and Edward seemed to be sad, but it always came back to the fact that they were just different but not in a bad way.
I don’t know if it was just the excitement at seeing Dr. Carlisle Cullen again or the fact that it was just a beautiful day the Sun was shining for the first time since I moved to this little town. My heart race is I sat in the hospital clinic waiting to be called back for my appointment. The next thing I heard crushed my hopes, the secretary was speaking to a lady who had just walked in she said: “I’m sorry Mrs. Wheaton but Doctor Cullen is out sick today Dr. Alan is taking his patients” my heart sunk in my chest.
Truth be told Dr. Alan was a very nice man he took his time with me and then even let me listen to my baby’s heartbeat but it just wasn’t the same. On my way out the secretary gave me an appointment I would need to wait another four weeks before I was able to see Carlisle.
I had gotten to know my next-door neighbor she was an older woman probably in her mid-50s her name was Catherine she was a widow with no children. As I walked up to my door after my clinic appointment she saw me and asked: “dear one is everything okay you looked so sad is there something wrong with the baby ” there was true worry in her eyes,
“No everything is fine the doctor said there’s nothing to worry about” I told her.
“Then why the glum look” she said a smile returning to her face
I really couldn’t tell her why I felt so sad what was I supposed to say, I fell in love with my doctor over ten years ago and have been looking forward to seeing him but he was out sick today right, I was insane.
“Well than why don’t we sit here in the sunshine and have some tea” she said bringing me out of my thoughts.
I said; “that sounds very nice Catherine but why don’t we make it iced tea today I’ll go make some”
“Esme that sounds wonderful dear” she said
We spend the next hour in my backyard talking about the baby and the sunshine and how well my roses looked, but it still could not help me forget the longing to see Carlisle again.
That night I couldn’t stop thinking about Carlisle I could see him smiling at me it warmed my heart it seemed he was bringing me back to life and that was not good. I was used broken and bloody a pregnant woman, he could do so much better Carlisle was not only the best looking man I’ve ever seen but he was a doctor and a man of means. And to tell you the truth I was nothing, not good-looking very plain my heart-shaped face and dimples were nothing you call beautiful I did like my hair it was very full and curled just the way I liked it. But was I someone even in my condition that the doctor would even think of looking twice a probably not, I fell asleep contemplating all of this.
That night I had the strangest dream I was standing on a cliff the sun was shining, I could not feel it I felt cold I seemed to had nothing, and then just as I started to feel very deep sadness I looked up and coming towards me was Carlisle he was smiling at me his hands stretched out to embrace me and when he did his arms did not feel cold to me any longer they were warm. At that point I knew I was home he leaned down and kissed me tenderly and said: “you truly are my life, my love, my soul” I woke crying knowing for the very first time that I was truly and completely in love with him, but it was strange I could smell his wonderful scent of her my room.
I couldn’t shake off the dream or the conclusion I came to that night.
Chapter 5 Carlisle’s Plan
Carlisle’s POV

So maybe it was not my best idea. Well, I should say, our best idea! We had come up with a plan as Edward and I played chess, the night I came home from the hospital after seeing Esme for the first time in over ten years. We need to learn where Esme was running from, so I could go back there and make it clear to that good for nothing husband that he would never see Esme again. I would threaten him and then I would pay him off. I hoped I would not kill him. Still that thought went round and round inside my head, because I knew I could kill him. At the least I would hurt him, hurt him like he hurt my true love. I shivered, my breath caught, and I could just imagine the weird stuff he would have done to my Esme. My stomach tightened and something exploded inside me. I needed to relax, this was not helping!

I had been following Esme for the last few weeks and at night; I would go into her bedroom after I knew she was asleep. At first, it I told myself it was to keep for safe. However, after that I knew it was because I needed to be with her. Then the night she called out my name, she was dreaming and from the look of it I would say it was a very good dream I laughed quietly and said “Esme your soul knows me”. This was becoming painful but deliciously erotic. After her heart rate started to speed up I knew she would awake soon, so as I quietly left her room I said ““Be my love, truly, in body as well as soul” but I knew before I said it that it would never happen. She was human and soon she would have a little baby and I would leave her forever!

After following her, we learned she would go to the store / teashop every Monday right after her class was over. Therefore, Edward and I just happened to be there, it was raining and I could see Esme running into the store. I saw her slip on the wet floor and I reached out to catch her. I reached out to catch her as my hands touched her it was that electric current running through me again. Her heart was beating wildly. As I blinked and focused my eyes, I said: “Esme are you okay! Well, it looks like you have really fallen for me”. Then with real honesty she said, “Isn’t that the way it happens, patients falling in love with their doctor”. Then she blushes deeply.

Suddenly I heard Edward saying something so quietly that only I could hear it. “Carlisle please try to remember why we our here”. Therefore, our plan had worked. I had introduced Esme to Edward and we sat down to have tea. Esme had been happy to chat with Edward about his music and that he could play the piano I had thought to myself that Edward was getting very good at the lying part of are life. Edward would listen to her thoughts and” Hopefully”, she would think about her husband and the town he lived in. After Edward had asked Esme If she had lived here long, she went very still. I looked into Edward’s eyes. They were lifeless and I knew I would need to get him out of here. I do not remember the things I said to Esme, I just knew Edward was in pain.

All I could see was Edward’s back. It seemed that no matter how fast I ran, I could not catch him. This was the first time I really wished I could read peoples thoughts! First to see the thoughts in Esme’s mind that had started this craziness, and now to see what Edward was thinking! I hoped Esme had not seen Edward’s reaction. I had all but run out of the building with Edward. We had to walk at human speed out of town, before I asked him what she was thinking. “Edward, tell me please?” All he said was “Carlisle, it would kill you, it is killing me!” Then we hit the forest and Edward started to run. The good thing was he was running in the direction of our home. It was a good-sized farmhouse about five miles from town. The bad thing was I did not know if he would stop.
It was probably about two miles into the forest when I got the scent. It took Edward a few seconds longer before he stopped and turned to look at me. I grabbed him by the shoulders and said, “It is okay Edward I know the scent”. I will always be very grateful to Garrett for coming to see me that day. “Come Edward, I think you will really like this vampire. He is a good friend”. The rage was still in his eyes, but he had time to think about things now. “We will talk about this later.”

Standing in front of our home was Garrett. He was 6 foot 3 inches tall, weighing about 195 lbs, with long blond hair pull back into a braid, and red eyes. We had fought long and hard about his diet and mine in the past. He had said he would need something more wonderful then the taste of human blood to make him stop, but maybe if his true soul mate would ask him to stop, he could. “If she has been out there for me for 128 years and I have not found her, then maybe you and I, Carlisle, are the world’s oldest bachelors’” Garrett had said.
I walked forward to greet Garrett.

“My friend how are you,” I asked. “I am doing very well. I am in need of a friendly face. It has been ages, Carlisle” he replied.

“Garrett, this is Edward. He has been with me for three years now,” I said.

Garrett looked Edward over and said, “it is so nice to meet you Edward. I see Carlisle has turned you to his way of thinking” he said, looking at Edward’s dark topazes eyes.

Garrett’s red eyes and the smell of blood coming from him was all I needed to see to know he had fed today.

“I can’t tell you how pleasantly surprised I was when I discovered your scent and knew you were close.
You’ll have to explain to me how you managed to get Edward into your family”, Garrett said.

“I will tell you everything. Shall we go in the house and talk?” I said as we went into the house.
Chapter7 Dream

Esme’s POV

I awoke to Carlisle placing soft kisses along my shoulder. My body trembled as it rose to meet his lips. His lips were kissing me and his tongue was discovering the lines of my jaw, my cheeks and stopped as he reached my lips.

“Good morning, my sweetheart.” he said, as he moved his body closer to me. He put his arms around my waist and pulled me up to his chest as he moaned s softly. “You taste so good.” A slight grin appeared on his mouth and I swear he almost licked his lips. I was feeling sensations in my body that I had never felt before. My stomach felt like it was going to leap to my throat. I was trembling all over and in places that I had never trembled before! I was breathing so heavy I was sure he would think there was something wrong with me. “Keep it together”, I was telling myself, but I didn’t want to. I wanted him to kiss me all over and make me feel like the woman that I always wanted to be for him. I felt like crying and laughing at the same time. I was so in love with him. “Oh Carlisle, I am not good enough for you.” My voice sounded small and vulnerable. I could not stop the tears from spilling onto my cheeks. I was feeling so many emotions that I didn’t know what to do.

“Easy, my darling,” His voice was tender and slow, “I love you. I love you more than anything in this world, more than you could ever know." he moaned. His voice sounded so perfect like he was singing to me. He was perfect in every way. His good looks, his beautiful eyes, his perfect mouth…he was the perfect man! How could he want someone like me? I was a damaged woman bearing the scars from my husband beating me and doing things that I would never be able to speak to anyone. I was so ashamed of myself and the life that had been forced on me. But yet this beautiful, perfect man was holding me, kissing me and looking at me like I was worthy of him. I knew I was dreaming but I did not care. I tightened my hold around his neck, running my hands through his blond hair with my shaky fingers, I lifted my mouth to meet his, kissing him frantically. His tongue was moving over my lips and in my mouth and I could taste the sweetness of him. "Carlisle," I gasped. He buried his face in my neck, scattering urgent kisses as my hands moved down his back.

"What is it my darling Esme?" he murmured against my throat. I had never liked the sound of my own name more than I did in that moment.

"I want you," I said quietly. His breath let out in a loud rush, his body immediately reacting to my words. "Esme," he whispered in my ear. "We're married now, Mrs. Cullen," he whispered gently, kissing my nose when I ducked away from his gaze. "We’re allowed now."

Oh, God if this is a dream please let me sleep forever! My fingers reached up to stroke the thick, perfect blond hair at the back of Carlisle's neck as I began leaving a t trail of kisses along his jaw, tasting every inch of his skin. He lifted his head just enough so that his face was suspended above mine. He looked at me with such passion and desire in his eyes and started kissing me again. His lips had a new urgency in them as the intensity was heightened. He kissed me all over until I finally lifted my eyes to meet his.

Carlisle's face was relaxed and his eyes appeared much darker than the usual golden brown color that they usually were. He gazed down at me reverently for a few seconds before I reached up and I pulled his head down towards mine. Our lips crashed together as this time it was my tongue invading his mouth. I kissed him hard, pressing my lips against him greedily until he broke away and groaned my name once more.

This was how we were always meant to be. Together. What a wonderful word. Together. "I love you," I whispered softly, smiling up at him. "I love you, too" he murmured as he put his hands on both sides of my face. "I'm yours forever, Mrs. Cullen."

Just then I heard a baby cry and Carlisle said, “but I think our son is hungry and needs his mother more than I do right now.” He walked over to the crib and reached down to pick up the most beautiful baby and put him in my arms. Carlisle moved behind me and looked down at the beautiful baby in my arms. He wrapped his arms around both of us and kissed the back of my neck.

With that, my dream ended!

I could desire and I could fantasize… but this was not meant to be. My heart fell into my stomach. It was so strange. I could smell him again all over my room just like in my dream. Am I mad? Am I going insane? Had those years of abuse I had suffered taken their toll on me? Okay, I needed to think. I needed to get myself together. Who would ever believe that this perfect, beautiful man would ever be interested in me this way? I had to forget that I ever had this dream. Forget that he was easily the most heart-stopping beautiful man that I had eve r seen in my entire life! Carlisle was a whole other universe. Universe Disambiguation...that’s it. The perfect planet where no one like me was allowed. A totally off-limits, impossibly sexy universe I was not allowed access. As if he could see me as anything but a patient anyway. A damaged, pregnant, fat woman without anyone in my life. The only thing I had going for me and hand always been proud of was my breasts. I had always had very round, voluptuous breasts that I used to admire in the mirror. I always felt so bad and ashamed afterwards but I would stare at myself in the mirror and admire that they stood up, at attention, not like my mother’s breasts that always sagged down to her waist. With my tiny waist and large hips, my mother had commented that I would sons to take care of my family. I was secretly proud of this. With the baby growing inside of me my breasts had grown larger and my waist was not that big. “Yes, I am pregnant but not fat,” I said out loud. I guess my baby agreed with me because it kicked me hard as I said this. I put my hand at the top of my stomach to rub it gently and the baby moved again. I tried to comfort myself with the fact that soon I would be a mother. I would have a baby taking up all of my time. It was all I would have in my life and I was so grateful. I didn’t want to be alone.

I must have slipped back to sleep because the next time I opened my eyes the sun was brilliant in the room. Instantly I thought of Carlisle and realized I had an appointment with him today. I began to hum a song of joy to my baby.

I don’t know if it was just the excitement of seeing Dr. Carlisle Cullen today or the fact that it was just a beautiful day but I was in a perfect mood. The Sun was shining for the first time since I had moved to this little town, at least the first time I could remember. My heart raced as I sat in the hospital clinic, waiting to be called back for my appointment.

The next moment I heard something that crushed me. The secretary was speaking to a lady who had just walked in and said, “I’m sorry, Mrs. Wheaton, but Doctor Cullen is out sick today. Dr. Alan is seeing his patients today.” My heart sank in my chest and the day seemed to turn dark.

Dr. Alan was a very nice man. He took his time with me and even let me listen to my baby’s heartbeat. But it just was not the same. On my way out of the office the secretary gave me my next appointment. I would need to wait another four weeks before I was able to see Carlisle again. I was so depressed at this thought. I must try to find a way to see him. Perhaps he would be in the Tea shop like he and his brother Edward were before. I would think about that.

It was just twilight as I got home that day. I had a class that went longer than usual and I guess I was not in the best of moods. I needed to eat. Maybe that would make me feel better. I just had taken my shoes off when I heard the doorbell ring. “It must be the next door neighbor, Catherine,” I thought as I went to the door. Who else would it be? I opened the door.

There standing before me at my door was Dr Carlisle Cullen! His smile made my heart stop for a moment! “Breathe”, I said to myself. “Just breathe”. There he stood. The perfect man. What was I going to do?

Chapter 7 Raw Hatred and Anger Edwards POV

The forest was a variation of gray and black in the monochromatic night. Garrett and I swiftly navigated through brush and trees, around bends and paths. It would take us two days running to get from our little city of Ashland, Illinois to Esme’s home town of Columbus, Ohio. It was hard trying to convince Carlisle that he needed to talk to Esme. I could read all the thoughts in his mind and I knew that he loved her with an all consuming love. The poor man has been alone for over 200 years and in all that time he had not found a woman that could share his world.

Garrett and I had talked last night. Our kind has a photographic memory for visuals and conversations that helped me to understand the Carlisle that Garrett knew. Garrett could remember all the talks he and Carlisle had ever had. I understood that he would always do the right thing by Carlisle.

But with love it is not always the head that rules. Trying to shake off my growing depression. I though to myself that I would never do this to myself. I would never love someone I could not have. No sir, no human girl for me! I would find myself an enchanting vampire to love for the rest of forever.

“Garrett, you have never found someone you would like to be with?” I asked. He leaned his head back and let out a short laugh. I have found ladies, both vampire and human alike that was fun to spend the night with and even longer. However, forever is a long time I would need someone, no not someone, the ONE that was made for me, my soul mate.” It surprised me that he made an emphasis on a special one - the ONE as he called it. “But I am very sure that Esme was made for Carlisle. That kind of love is forever. You can not walk away from that because it is meant to be and Carlisle will learn that.”

Nevertheless, there was no happy ending to be found at this time. Well, at least not in the foreseeable future. Carlisle has been looking for a new job. He is looking at Washington State in the Olympic Peninsula. He said that it has very little sunshine there. In addition, it would be far away from here.

“Edward did you hear me!” Garrett said, sounding a little put out that he would need to say something to me twice. Even running like this I should have heard him.
“Sorry Garrett, I was deep I thought,” I said. “I understand, but we need your head in the game here Edward! We will be there soon. We’ll go into town after the sun goes down and start looking for Esme’s husband,” Garrett said.
“I think our best bet is to look in the bars,” I said. “In Esme’s thoughts she said he likes to drink,” I said gritting my teeth. I focused every ounce of my strength into blocking out the things the man had done to her!

Garrett’s eyes were black. He had not fed in days,. That’s not good. We walked into the little town just as the sun went behind the mountains. It was a nice community. I could see the hospital Carlisle had worked at before, the first time he saw Esme. We walked a few blocks and then we saw it. It was the dirtiest dive in town. The windows were blacked out and it looked like the door was just about ready to fall off the hinges.

“What do you think Garrett?” I said nodding my head at the bar. “I think your right. The S.O.B. would be right at home in here.” We went in and took a seat at the back of the bar.
It was dark but I could see everything. That was the good thing about being a vampire…seeing in the dark as well as the light. An
older women come up to us and asked, “What can I get you two good-looking men?” In her mind I heard all the things she would like to do to Garrett. She was thinking I was too young for her but Garrett was another thing!” Garrett put on his best looking smile and said, “We would like two beers and a little information, mam‘.” “The beers I can do but for the information, well, we’ll see,” she said. The warmth of her body, the beat of her heart, the smell of her blood, it was making it very hard for Garrett. He had not fed for a while and I could hear his thoughts which was making me feel his hunger.

As she bought our drinks to us, she caught her breath at the touch of Garrett’s fingers on her hand. He looked up at her and said. “I just have a little question, that’s all.” He was drawing little circles in her palm. “This is a delicate matter my dear, and I need to speak to a man. His name is Charles Evenson. So if you could tell me when he arrives, I will make it worth your time. Oh and please don’t tell him I am looking for him, okay my love?” Garrett whispered to her very quietly and then he kissed the inside of her wrist. She was shaken, feeling sucked under in a whirlpool of emotions as Garrett continued to stroke her arm up to her shoulder. Garrett was good! She walked away confused and in a trance-like state.

After a few minutes Garrett picked up his beer and drank it. I just looked at him in amazement. “What? drinking and smoking? “It’s not bad, and it won’t effect us. So, fit in, my boy!” Garrett said to me with a big grin on his face.

I had only been in Esme’s head one time, but I had seen the face of her husband as he hurt her over and over again. I saw his sadistic smile as he burned her skin, or made small, deep gashes on her body where only he would see. I saw the anger in his eyes that turned to lust as she cried out in pain. All the things he made her do and say to him, leaving her bloody and crying, while she wished to god that he had killed her. And after all that he would tell her it was all her fault. That she was cold, incapable of the passion of a real women. He told her over and over again that she was worthless, not capable of taking care of a man. I remembered that day in the store when she opened her mind to the memories of her time with him. All the demeaning things he said and did to her! I knew I was capable of killing him. I could kill him for the pain he inflicted on Esme for days, weeks, months and years. I had never experienced the raw hatred and anger that fills me every time I think of him! While I was thinking of my hatred, I looked up and Charles Evenson walked through the door. At that second. I looked into his eyes and I knew I would kill him!
Chapter 8
Edwards POV

Garrett and I had been in the bar for two hours. There were around 20 people in the place. I tried the beer and it was the most disgusting thing I had ever had. Patience. That is the one thing that vampires excelled. We never got tired. We never counted the minutes or the hours. When you live forever, what is a few hours? Suddenly the door opened and in walked Charles Evenson. It seemed as if the people here knew him, and by the look on some faces, some feared him! I squeezed my hands into tight fists and stared expressionless ahead as I felt the anger explode at the sight of this man. I could hear his thoughts and he was a savage man. I said to Garrett, “That’s him!” He turned to me. His expression showed surprised, but there was a dangerous glint in his eyes. The monster was only a quick move away. “His time just ran out!” Garrett said.

The barmaid came to or table and quietly said, “That’s him, sir.” She nodded her head towards Charles. Garrett took her hand, gave her a twenty dollar bill and looked into her eyes and quietly said, “You will not remember this. You will forget our faces and never think of us again. Do you understand me?” The shadows shifted on his face and I was seeing through her eyes. I could feel a wonderful endorphin rush in her body and she said, “Yes sir, I understand.” With that she walked way. “Did you harm her, Garret?” I said.
“No, I just made her forget, that’s all,” he replied.

We had already discussed our next move. I would go and talk to him about a job that I needed to have done. I would get him out of the bar, giving him the impression he could make a lot of money. It took no time at all to get him out the door and less time for Garrett and myself to pick him up by both arms and run with him into the woods.

We ran with him through the woods until we came to a clearing. We threw him to the ground and stood over him. “What the hell? Who our you and how did we get here so fast?” he said while trying to get up. “Shut up, you piece of dirt! We are here because of a friend of ours,” Garrett said.
“And can I ask your friends name before you kill me? Don’t underestimate me. I can pay you more then your friend”
he said.

“No, you underestimate US,” I said with clenched teeth. “You underestimate our friend. To you she was little more then a play thing, a body that you debased with your burns and cuts in your cruel, sadistic way. It has finally come back on you.” I could barely contain my rage as I saw him lying on the ground. All I could think of what I had seen in Esme’s mind. The terrible beatings. The pain and fear that she had suffered at this man’s hand. “It is time for you to pay for all the things you did to her! Think of this as your punishment!” I was growling and felt a hissing sound coming up my throat.

Suddenly his expression changed from fear to arrogance. “So, you know , Little Miss Ice Queen.” my wife Tell me, did she ever warm up?” he laughed. “Don’t worry. I’ll just take the kid if it’s a boy. If it’s a girl, you can keep it and thrash it with its mother!”

That was it. I leaped at him and seized his arm and with a small twist broke it. I could hear the snap of his bones. He roared with pain and cried, “What the hell are you doing?” Garrett moved quickly to stand over him. He raised his hand and quickly slashed Charles’ chest. The furrows that he left looked more like the marks of animal claws. I could feel and see the pain in Charles’ face. I could smell his blood and hear the beat of his heart echoing in the back of my mind.

Garrett gave him a slow smile. He wasn't thirsty. He wanted him to know fear, to feel pain and know what it felt like to be a victim before we killed him. He wanted to play with him, to toy with him until he was ready to kill him. Garrett’s mind was an open book to me. I could feel his pleasure in the torture he was going to inflict on Charles.

"Holy crap," Charles cried. He tried to scramble away but only succeeded in wedging himself even closer to me. Suddenly, I stopped cold when my nose picked the smell of human blood. I was enveloped under a sudden wave of dizziness. I forced myself to close my eyes and count to ten. One, I was no angel. Two, that was for certain. Three, but I chose to live my life. Four, without human blood! Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten. As I searched for any sign of remorse in Charles, I knew I would never find it in him! Garrett looked a little worried. "Edward, are you okay?"
"Yes," I said, trying to shake off my thoughts. "I'm fine.” But it was hard for me to turn away from human blood. I had promised Carlisle I would not feed on human blood but it was so hard to keep the natural instinct of taking such pleasure in it buried deep, down inside. It would be so easy to feed on this monster. He wasn’t a real human. He was a hideous creature. He would not be missed. No one would care. I could tear his throat out and drink his blood! I had drank human blood before. In the days when I was a new born, I ran away from Carlisle and his way of life for a short time. But that was not how I wanted to live my life. I did not live with the guilt of killing a human being now, even if Charles was no normal human. Suddenly, I came to my senses and realized this was not the way I had chosen to live my life.

I turned my attention to my captive. He struggled but there was no way he could get away from me. A look of shock washed over his face when he realized that he was powerless. He struggled and I shoved him hard against a tree. My hand was effortlessly around his throat. His shirt was crimson with blood from the wound Garrett had inflicted on him. "Okay, okay! What the crap are you two?" He struggled, but I gave a little squeeze to his windpipe and he immediately froze.

“We will ask the questions here,” Garrett said. “The man you hired to kill Esme and take her baby - we need his name.” He squeezed his eyes shut and said, “Robert Haralson. He lives in the next town.” Suddenly, tired of the grunge and the dreariness of this evil soul, I tossed him to Garrett. “Garrett, I’m done,” I said. It took a second for me to calm down. I turned away from him.

I listened as Garrett picked him up. I heard him tell Charles, "You know, I'm a vampire," he laughed. It did not take Garrett long to sink his teeth into his neck. I could hear the sound of blood gushing from his throat into Garrett’s mouth. It ran down his throat like liquid fire. Sweet honey and wine, Garrett thought. My mind buzzed as I tried to calm my frayed nerves. Killing this man made the world a safer place for Esme and her baby. it was something we needed to do. It was the right thing to do. It was the only way Esme would really be safe.

Garrett dropped the body of Charles Evenson down the side of the mountain. If someone found the body it would look like the bears got him. I looked at Garret and said, “I think it is time to find Mr. Robert Haralson. I hope we can pay him off.” “Or I’ll just make him dinner,” Garrett laughed.
“Garrett, tell me something,” I asked. “What about the blood of murderers, rapists and wife beaters? Does it taste different—or have any bad effects on you?" Garrett smiled and said, “Blood is blood. As far as anything else well, the taint is in the soul, not the blood. Blood is pure. It sings a beautiful song, but not with their sins." He smiled at me and said, "So animal blood works for you no bad effects?” At that we laughed and ran into the night. It was a peaceful run.
I re-posted me story I wish I had saved all my readers comments I miss them. Please leave a comment so I can tell you when i update the story I hope to update in a few days

TO BE LOVED ESME'S STORY Won Frist Place In The Best Carlisle And Esme Story, To me readers

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