The Twilight Saga

This is the anticipated sequel to True love Never Dies; where we follow the lives of the motherless Makayla Cullen and her Romeo.

All human.

Written collaboratively between Shantelle Holmes and Jessica Mifsud-Bonnici.

To read 'Want...' by Jessica Mifsud-Bonnici, please click here

To read the first installment, True Love Never Dies by Shantelle Holmes, please click here



There is only one person in the world who you need to get through life. There is only one person who really helps you everyday, one person who you can trust without knowing the slightest thing about them. That one person is a mother.
When you’re five years old, she’s a goddess. You sneak into her bedroom and smear your face with her pink lipstick and model her ‘big girl’ earrings and high heels, not wanting to wait to grow up. That’s the way it is until you abruptly hit those teenage years. When it’s that time you can’t stand the sight of her, she is the most arrogant person you have met, and clearly out of touch, you just can’t get far enough away from her, but deep down you still love her. The phase changes when you hit your twenties and start living your life on your own, she suddenly becomes your best friend once again.
No relationship is quite as strong, pure, or even as simple as what a mother and daughter relationship should be. It’s the original relationship, the relationship that will last a lifetime, something that everyone wants, something everyone should have.
But what do I know? I mean I don’t even have a mother. That’s a bit of an exaggeration really. Of course I have a mother, but the last time I saw her was when I was a matter of weeks old and my memory isn‘t so clear so I just have to rely on old pictures that are lying around the house. The one person who I will need most in my life was taken away from me for no reason.
Let’s not linger on that, I’m not all unlucky, I still have the one other person who is just as important in any child’s life, the daddy. But, yes here comes the but, my dad is different.
My dad is a doctor; sounds really different doesn’t he? Well here’s the thing, he isn’t the dad who stays at home all day and waits for me to come running through the door and asks me how my day was, he isn’t the dad who works all day and comes home showing how much he loves me. He is the opposite. Yes, he does work, he works hard, saves people daily, stops them from dying I guess, but he works all day, from early in the morning until really late at night. I don’t see him when I get up for school, and when he gets home I’m just going to bed. He wallows in self-pity, he grieves from what happened 17 years ago. The way he looks at me sometimes is expressionless, he isn’t an open book like me, he looks at me in disgust like he blames me for my mother’s death. Though I am to blame, he confirmed it himself. Sometimes the look in his eyes just gets too much for me I have to do something that I know won’t give me the answer. My house key, cutting along my rather pale underarm, right along the vein, travelling over the steady pulse that sits there all perfect and snug. Sometimes I wonder when everything went wrong… oh right, the day I was born, even further than that, 9 months before I was born, the day I was conceived. Everything just seemed to go downhill from there, again it’s my fault, like everything seems to be…..


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Replies to This Discussion


I'm too scared to look!!!!!

I'm sorry Jess :(

It was a typo ;)
sure ... bubba ,,, :D
Lmaoo aha :)
we are act. too weird ... i feel sorry for all the like 12 year olds that will be desturbed coz of that pic

Well if you're calling us disturbed for that Saw pic.. cause we like to look at them or w.e... count that down to only you....

Dont worry, I am 12 and I wasnt disturbed ....much actually at first it scared the crap outta me but then once I looked at it some more I realized its not that bad ....i've seen worse
jess shutup. im 12 years old, and and my 3 year lod little sister laughed when she saw that pic.


:) thanx shantelleee.

yum ... i would bite that :D

the 'v' .. *drools*
A/N: Dear Readers; I personally apologise for the really long wait of this chapter. I am ever so sorry but it is finally here. I have been crammed pack with coursework, not to mention my job, so I simply found it hard to find the time to write. So I hope you like it and well yeah like usual, read and review!
Shantelle xxx

Chapter 4 - I can‘t breath, I can‘t sleep, I‘m barely hanging on.

I sighed as I dragged my converses along the concrete floor beneath me. Why did I have to let that spoilt, mind-controlling, life-ruining dog upset and affect me like that? Constantly. She made sure that everything was in her best interest to make my life as miserable as hell. She had everything in life that I haven’t got, something she doesn’t even appreciate. She took everything for granted, and I have never despised anybody in my life except for her. I just cannot get over how much of a spoilt, moody cow she really is. I can’t even start it describe what I really think of it, I can’t dislike or hate her, she’s family, my aunt….
My phone started to vibrate in the pocket of my hoodie.
Persie Calling
I didn’t want to talk to anybody, let alone Persie. She probably personally hurt Bella for being the way she was, I can’t be held responsible for that.
“Hey Persie, what can I do for you?” I sighed down the phone as I continued to drag myself home.
“Kayyy, are you alright?” She asked me. I was fantastic, but I knew what she meant.
“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” I said pretending not to know what she was talking about.
“You know why, and I won’t be online tonight, mum grounded me.” Persie moaned down the phone. She never got grounded, Aunt Rose was only strict with Uncle Em.
“Why, what did you do?”
“I kind of hit Bella.” She shocked me abruptly.
“YOU HIT HER?” I shouted down the phone. “YOU HIT YOUR AUNT?”
“She is not my aunt, I don’t care in all that biological crap. But there is no way on this earth that that drag queen is my aunt!” I couldn’t help but laugh down the phone. She is funny when she is mad.
“M it’s not funny, and you need to get your home. Your dad is getting worried sick about you, nobody knows where you are.” She warned me. She know damn straight where I was.
“You know where I was.” I stated to her.
“Yeah I know, but they don’t. Are you going home now?” She asked me.
“Yes.” I replied plainly. I turned the corner that leads into my road. “Look Persie, I’m nearly home now, and it’s going to be awkward enough. I’ll call you in a bit, okay?”
“Sure, your dad just worries about you, you know that right?” Persie asked me rhetorically. I knew deep down he cared about me, but something didn’t seem right.
“Yeah I know. Umm, I’ve got to go now, I’m nearly home. I’ll err call you later?” I hesitated into the phone. I knew that if I stayed on the line any longer she would give me the whole lecture on how my Dad really just care, but he is still grieving, and he shows his love in a different way etc… the list will just go on and on with Persie.
“Okay M. Call me later, well that’s if Mum doesn’t take my phone. She would have done the same. I mean she was a total tramp and I just really needed to hit her after that and -” I cut the line off. She was annoyed, very annoyed. Bella had clearly wound her up, no doubt that her hand hurts, and then her mum grounding her. She won’t shut up when she’s annoyed either. She won’t even notice that the line isn’t connected, she’ll still be talking, she can moan at me later.
I carried on walking down the street, taking in the scenery everyday, but looking at it a little more. The little boys playing outside happily on their bikes and the little girls with their dolls. What would they be like if something happened one day? Something as bad as them loosing a parent, a loved one? Would they still act the same, or are they too young to realise? Would they ever see the world differently, like I have? Life isn’t all fun and games like it seems.
I let out a huge sigh as I reached the front door of our home, where both my mother and grandfather lived their whole lives, and where my grandmother spent a mere few years of her life.
I grabbed my key out of my pocket and forced it into the slot in the door, not surprised if it breaks with the amount of force I put upon it. The door swung open and when I walked in my dad came out of the kitchen and looked at me with pure sadness in his eyes.
“Err hi.” I greeted him. It was awkward. We never have had a close father-daughter relationship, we were both distant, we were both broken, both hurt, both scared.
“Uhh yeah, dinner is on the table.” He said to me, hesitating slightly, pushing his hand through his hair. Fun. Just what I need, an awkward entrance, and an awkward dinner following seconds after.
“Thanks.” I mumbled to him, not knowing if he heard me or not. I walked into the kitchen and like he said, dinner was on the table. Despite all his long hours he does at work, all of his family commitments, well besides me, he still has time to cook a home-made lasagne for dinner. I know deep down that he is truly amazing, and he has always been there for me, he just doesn’t show it.
“So what’d you think?” He asked me as he walked through the door behind me.
“Looks great.” I said, forcing a smile on my face not knowing if he could tell it was forced or not. I pulled out my chair and sat myself down on it. I looked down at my plate and I saw how homey and family-ish the lasagne looks. Something like this doesn’t belong somewhere broken.
I clenched my knife, realising how much things were getting to me, what pathetic things they are to, I’ve never felt so much hate towards myself then what I do now.
I slowly released my knife and I began to cut into the lasagne, the meat spilling out of it as my dad and I sat in an awkward silence…..

I woke up hazily rubbing my eyes, letting them adjust to the light. My whole body ached, but my arm and head standing out. I looked down at my arm and the events of last night played in my head. The hurt I felt, the desperation of letting it all out came back to mind. I had hit a low point, a really low point, and no-one will ever have the need to want to know this.
I slipped out of my bed and walked straight to the wardrobe realising I have only thirty minutes to get ready before the bus comes. I opened up the double doors and I pulled out my favourite pair of skinny black jeans, my plain black top and my black hoodie. I looked down a the floor and I saw the muddy mess of my dress, realising what has caused me to feel like this. As per usual, all my misery and pain, it all comes down to Bella.
I slipped on my clothes for today, not caring what I’m going to look like, it can’t be worse than what I’m feeling. I turned around and took a look in my full length mirror and sighed. ( No wonder why he was all over somebody else, Bella. I mean, she was beautiful, everything I’m not. She had gorgeous, long, red hair, it was a shocking red that anyone would love to have. She had bright blue eyes. Why would Riley want to look into my plain hazel eyes, when he could look into her electric blue ones. Everything about her, in comparison to everything about me, just walks over Riley’s memory of us together. The only thing that makes me a better person than her would be that I am grateful for what I’ve got, and I care about how people feel, but who takes notice of that, not over looks anyway?
By the time I found my way to the front door I was so full of fixed emotions; hurt, anger, betrayal, I didn’t know where to start. I was hurt because of what Riley did, angry towards myself because I just stood there, I didn’t intervene, try to get answers out of either of them, I did nothing, I failed myself. Last of all I was betrayed because Bella knew how I felt about Riley, but yet she didn’t care, she might have had no escape, but she didn’t make any objections, not from where I was standing. I haven’t even mentioned the fact that Riley was only minutes away from doing the regrettable with my Aunt.
The journey to school seemed unbearable long. Driving past couples, hand in hand, looking so happy. I told myself to snap out of it mentally, it isn’t making matters better. I’m a mess, I’m barely hanging on, I can’t sleep. Everytime I close my eyes, all I can is Riley and Bella, pushed up against the locker, his hands -
I have to stop before I sit here and let everything out. I feel as if I can’t trust anybody anymore, I can only promise myself one thing. I promise myself that I won‘t let anybody see me cry no matter the reason, anymore.
I took my usual seat in Physics, the other seat next to me empty, the seat that belonged to Riley. I watched the next five minutes go by, students filing into the room one by one. Riley was one of the last students who entered the room, Mr. Ward followed closely after him. I prayed in my mind that he would start the lesson straight away, not giving us time to talk.
Riley took his seat next to me and smiled as he sat down. I forced a weak smile to him, trying my best not to break down into a fit in front of him. I managed to stay calm.
“Makayla can you take your hoodie off please, you know the rules?” Mr. Ward asked me. Great, I forgot about his ’requirements’ for class, no hoodies or outside clothing was allowed. Now my wrist is going to be on show, good thing I covered it up. I can just tell people I slipped or something, maybe? I sighed and slowly pulled of my hoodie and I crossed my arms when I could. That didn’t stop Riley. He grabbed my hand before I had the chance to protest.
“What happened M?” He asked me, staring down at my wrist.
Well lets see. I came to find you yesterday before first lesson with the biggest smile on my face, I was ecstatic. Well that was until I saw you and Bella together, playing tonsil tennis, your hands roaming their way around under her shirt. I couldn’t watch, so I ran home, crying, distraught. I got my key, slashed my arm, but it didn’t work, so I got something more effective, like a razor, and well, here we are. No.
“Umm I just err tripped over and landed in some glass.” I replied bleakly. He seemed to believe it. Helena was sitting in front of me, she had tuned in to our small conversation and she was giving me the look of that’s not really what happened, you tell me after class. Yeah right.
I turned around in my seat and I faced the window not staring at anything in particular. I never realised how green the trees were, even in the near Autumn. All the leaves were going to die in about a month, they will eventually turn colour, that’s when their the most beautiful. Similar to the life cycle; you’re a green life in your early years, you’re learning. When you find that special someone everything changes. Love is a beautiful and splendid thing, just like red and orange leaves. But then your heart breaks, or you pass. You start to fall from the world, slowly falling until you reach the bottom and you lay lifeless. I am falling, very slowly, but I’m begging for the end to come. My life is just one mess, one huge mistake, everything has gone wrong. If I had never been born, my mum would still be alive, my dad would be happy, everyone would be happy….
“…..produce a magnetic field? Makayla?” Mr. Ward asked me, stringing me out of my current thoughts. I looked at him and then around the room to find everyone looking at me, waiting for me to say the answer.
“Uhmm sorry, can you repeat the question please?” I asked, not exactly interested. He sighed.
“I said, how can a straight wire produce a magnetic field Ms. Cullen?” He repeated and he looked a little annoyed at me for not paying attention, nothing different there. I knew this, I think. I thought back to my previous physics lesson to see what we learnt.
“When a current travels through a conductor it produces a magnetic field. The wire is the conductor.” I explained quickly, not looking up, keeping my head down.
“Excellent. Next time keep your head out of the clouds and pay attention.” He said sternly. I heard a few snickers from the girls who sat behind me. I sighed as I closed my books and put them in my bag.
“You know what? Screw this lesson.” I said to him and the class. A few gasps escaped from the mouth’s of the innocent girls at the front who had never said a swear word in their life. I could feel Riley’s eyes on me, and Helena was looking at me like I was crazy. I stood up, swung my bag over my shoulder and walked out of the classroom without a backward glance.
I pressed my back against the wall and I took a deep breath. I could hear footsteps approaching. I looked up and I saw Helena walking towards me.
“Just go back to lesson Hel. I just want to alone.” I said, fighting back tears. She stopped right in front of me and brought her arms out in front of her and wrapped them around me. I didn’t cry, I didn’t let a single tear escape.
“What’s wrong Kay Kay?” She asked me using her childish nickname for me.
“Nothing.” I lied bluntly to her. She definitely wasn’t buying it. She looked at me with those eyes which you couldn’t lie to.
“Don’t lie to me Kay. I know something is up. Tell me, please.” She pleaded with me. Fine.
“You really want to know?” I waited for her response. She nodded. “He was minutes away from taking her right in front of me, smack bang in the middle of the hall… What could I do? Sit there and watch? Get them a pillow to make it more comfortable for my no good aunt as she broke my heart?” She looked at me like I had gone mental, like I had just lost the plot.
“What, Bella?” She asked, obviously not believing it. She shook her head in disbelieve.
“You think I’m making this up?” I asked her getting kind of angry. She shook her head.
“No of course not, you know I would never think that.” She said, getting defensive. I put my hand up in front of her.
“Just don’t. I got to go to my next lesson, I’ll be late. I’ll talk to you later.” I walked away before she had the chance to either stop me or to respond.
I walked at a fast pace to the music studios were thankfully my next two lessons were held. I had performance today which I was grateful for. I could sing as much as I like, I could put all my emotions into a song and let it all out, the studio was the only place that I can do that.
I opened the double doors that led to the stage and the rest of the class were sitting down on the soft leather chairs. Everyone had an instrument in their hand, but nobody was playing.
“Welcome Makayla. Glad you could join us today. Right, we’re starting of with you. You know the drill, get on stage and sing your heart out.” Mr. Burnley said walking towards me. I was happy enough to accept this opportunity, the sooner the better.
I went to the store cupboard and picked out a guitar. I sat down and tuned in quickly and strummed a couple of times to make sure it was sounding alright.
I walked slowly to the centre of the stage and I pulled a chair along with me and I sat down. I adjusted the microphone and I started to sing.

Seems like just yesterday
You were a part of me
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight
Everything, it felt so right
Unbreakable, like nothing’ could go wrong
Now I can’t breath
No, I can’t sleep
I’m barely hanging on

Here I am, once again
I’m torn into pieces
Can’t deny it, can’t pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won’t get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright
For once in my life
Now al that’s left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together, but so broken up inside
‘Cause I can’t breathe
No, I can’t sleep
I’m barely hanging on

Here I am, once again
I’m torn into pieces
Can’t deny it, can’t pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won’t get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

Swallow me then spit me out
For hating you, I blame myself
Seeing you it kills me now
No, I don’t cry on the outside

Here I am, once again
I’m torn into pieces
Can’t deny it, can’t pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won’t get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

Here I am, once again
I’m torn into pieces
Can’t deny it, can’t pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won’t get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

A tear escaped my eye and slid down my cheek. I had already broken my promise to myself. I promised myself that I would never cry another tear, but here I was.
A round of applause suddenly erupted the entire studio. I looked around and everyone was standing up and smiling. A new face I didn’t recognise caught my eye, he was smiling up at me, I found myself smiling back.
I got up and put the guitar away, I walked slowly of the stage and the stranger met me half way.
“Hello, I’m Shane. That was a beautiful song you just played up there.” He greeted me in the most politest way possible, a true gentleman. He had perfect copper hair and the largest brown eyes I have ever seen. Not to mention his British accent he spoke with that had already drawn me to him…..


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