It was funny watching Emmett eat. He attacked a grisly bear.
He played with it. He roared at it and let it swipe him a couple of times before he sank his teeth into it.
We got on the train at twilight. We where travailing first class. by he looks of things, Edward had booked out first class.
It was nice, There was golden carpet lining the floor with red carpet down the isle. The carriage had seats and then rooms with beds on the walls.
'This is really nice'
'I hoped you'd like it.' Edward smiled at me. Emmett and Rosalie where making use of there room.
'Try not to brake the train before we get there!' I had to say it, everyone else was thinking it.
We heard laughter and a bed falling off the wall. 'Too Late!' Rose screamed out. I just rolled my eyes.
There where a few delays getting to Forks. It was quite funny listening to the train driver.
At Camden town station The driver stated let the passengers off the train first.
Please let the passengers off the train first. Please let the passengers off the train first.
Let the passengers off the train FIRST! Oh go on then, stuff yourselves in like Sardines, see if I care, I'm going home."
when we arrived at the next stop,
"Ladies & Gentleman, upon departing the train may I remind you to take your rubbish with you.
Despite the fact that you are in something that is metal, fairly round, filthy and smells, this is a tube train for public transport and not a bin on wheels."
We hadn't even gone two feet when he came on again,
"Ladies and Gentlemen do you want the good news first or the bad news?
The good news is that last Friday was my birthday and I hit the town and had a great time.
I felt sadly let down by the fact that none of you sent me a card! I drive you to work and home each day and not even a card.
The bad news is that there is a point's failure somewhere between Stratford and East Ham, which means that we probably won't reach our destination.
We may have to stop and return. I won't reverse back up the line - simply get out walk up the platform and go back to where we started.
In the mean time if you get bored you can simply talk to the man in front or beside you or opposite you.
Let me start you off: Hi, my name's Gary how do you do?"
everyone was getting wrestles with the delay,
"Your delay this evening is caused by the line controller suffering from elbow and backside syndrome, not knowing his elbow from his backside.
I'll let you know any further information as soon as I'm given any."
The train Driver had then gotten two the next station. Because we had booked out first class, The rest of the train was crowded.
"Please mind the closing doors..." The doors close... The doors reopen.
"Passengers are reminded that the big red slidey things on the side of the train are called the doors. Let's try it again.
Please stand clear of the doors." The doors close... "Thank you."
Yet again another delay
"I am sorry about the delay, apparently some nutter has just wandered into the tunnel at Euston.
We don't know when we'll be moving again, but these people tend to come out pretty quickly...usually in bits."
'Sounds tasty' was what Emmett had replied to that announcement.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, I do apologise for the delay to your service.
I know you're all dying to get home, unless, of course, you happen to be married to my ex-wife,
in which case you'll want to cross over to the Westbound and go in the opposite direction."
We all had a good laugh to that one.
"Ladies and gentlemen, we apologise for the delay, but there is a security alert at Victoria station and we are therefore stuck here for the foreseeable future,
so let's take our minds off it and pass some time together. All together now 'Ten green bottles, hanging on a wall...'."
It is going to be one of though's trips.
"We are now travelling through Baker Street, as you can see Baker Street is closed.
It would have been nice if they had actually told me, so I could tell you earlier, but no, they don't think about things like that."
He was starting to get annoyed.
There was a tap on the first-class door, the one that joined the two classes together.
A young woman and children where at it.
'Please spare some change, me and my children haven't eaten in days.'
Just as Edward reached into his pocket the announcer cut in....
"Beggars are operating on this train, please do NOT encourage these professional beggars,
if you have any spare change, please give it to a registered charity, failing that, give it to me."
Edward glared at the lady she sort of smiled a bit and walked off, Edward lent down to the children
'As long as you don't tell her hear you go he handed each of them a hundred dollar note. The kids looked at it shocked,
'If a movie and popcorn is 5 cents how many movies can we see?'
'More then 100.'
the children smiled 'we won't tell mommy, she will take it off of us.'
Edward winked at the children and closed the door. 'That was nice of you.' Edward just smiled.
During an extremely hot rush hour on the Central Line, the driver announced in a West Indian drawl:
"Step right this way for the sauna, ladies and gentlemen. Unfortunately, towels are not provided."
Obviously the other train driver had had enough.
The passengers where getting wrestles
"Please allow the doors to close! Try not to confuse this with: 'Please hold the doors open'. The two are distinct and separate instructions."
followed closely by,
"Please note that the beeping noise coming from the doors means that the doors are about to close. It does not mean throw yourself or your bags into the doors."
The doors still hadn't shut yet
"To the gentleman wearing the long grey coat trying to get on the second carriage - what part of 'Stand Clear of the Doors' don't you understand?"
Emmett was in hysterics by this stage, Edward was amused Rosalie wasn't happy at all Carlisle wished he could sleep and Esme was pondering wether or not to get off
here and run there.
The doors kept opening and closing
the train driver made one more statement.
"Please move all baggage away from the doors (Pause..) Please move ALL belongings away from the doors (Pause...)
This is a personal message to the man in the brown suit wearing glasses at the rear of the train -
put the pie down, four-eyes, and move your bloody golf clubs away from the door before I come down there and shove them up your #@&%! - sideways."
That did it, all of us burst into laughter as the train finally departed that station.
We where at Forks in next to know time after that.
As usual it wsa another great chapter. This was very funny. I am waiting patiently ( sits on the edge of seat, tearing up at the thought) for the part when they get to Forks!!! Hurry please!! So good and I love this story.