Have you ever wondered why Edward was so devoted to Bella? Why he was so crushed when he had to leave her? Why he was reluctant to get close to her? Why he was so protective of her? Why he was so depressed and resentful of vampire life? Why the Cullens were so quick to vote "yes" on her transformation? It's because he didn't tell Bella the whole story. It's because Bella wasn't the first "singer" he encountered. It's because Bella wasn't the first human he fell in love with.
It couldn't be happening again. Not again. He had already been through so much in his too-long life to have this girl move here – and be right here. He knew it wasn't her fault; she couldn't help herself. But he couldn't suppress a black-eyed glare in her direction, which she returned with a timid turn of the head.
He gripped the easily breakable desk to restrain himself. One slip, and it would be all over. He knew that for a fact. Her beautiful chocolate brown eyes, which he had seen for only a second, were comparable to green eyes he'd been lost in so long ago. The scent was too familiar, also.
Memories tried to surge up, memories he'd rather leave in the past. He had been doing that successfully for over fifty years now – had it really been that long? Time went so fast.
Through sheer willpower, he managed to push them back into the deep recesses of his mind, at least for now. He could think about her later, on the trip. He'd already made up his mind to get away from her. He couldn't bear to stay here, with this new girl. This bringer of bittersweet memories.
Did Biology always take this long? A fraction of a second before the bell rang, he was out of his seat, moving a bit too quickly for the human crowd around him. He sensed she was watching, but, like during lunch, he couldn't decipher her thoughts. And maybe that was a good thing. He didn't want to hear what this personal demon had to say.
Thirty minutes later, after dropping his worried brothers and sisters off at home and switching cars with his adoptive father, he sped off to nowhere in particular. Maybe Alaska. Maybe not. He couldn't imagine being near other people right now.
And there the memories were, slapping him in the face. Reminding him of a time when he was happy. Reminding him of how he ruined everything.
If anyone makes banners, I kind of need one. I'd be very grateful. Anyways, leave comments telling me what you think. Happy reading. :)
Again, sorry about the length. But the next one is going to be super long. Plus, more good news, I should be able to post a chapter every day now. And in addition to that, I'm starting to write a new fan fic. It won't be up right away - I'm writing the whole thing before I post - but I'm REALLY psyched about this one because I haven't seen anyone do anything even remotely close to it. So...I'll keep you guys updated when I finish it?
Edward wasn't literally biting his nails, but that was the feeling. What if she said no? Would she even want to stay with him if she wanted to stay human? She kept going back to her family. He wasn't supposed to listen, but he caught little snippets anyway.
But what if she said yes? He was overjoyed at the thought of spending the rest of his life with her. So what if he'd only known her for a few weeks? The feeling he got with her surpassed anything he could have imagined if he had been alone, and he couldn't give that up.
If it was her decision to leave, though, he wouldn't try to stop her. He wouldn't show her how hard it would be for him. He wouldn't try to make her feel guilty about leaving – anything but that. He knew how much he was talking about giving up, and so quickly. No goodbyes or anything.
He and Ellie lay on the bed. She'd long since pulled her hand from his. That might be a bad sign, but it was probably just because she needed to think, he told himself. It could be a bad sign, though, and that was what was putting him on edge.
He tried to imagine a life without her. Now. After he'd seen what it was like with someone else in his life. It was a scary thought. No more watching her dream. No more messy hair in the morning. No more warm hugs. No more kisses. No more collaborative songwriting. No more snuggling on the couch. No more Ellie.
His arm unconsciously wrapped around Ellie and squeezed her against his body. The warmth she radiated calmed him down. At least for this moment, she was with him. For this moment in time, they loved each other.
Ellie fluctuated all day. Her family, or the Cullens? As Edward pulled her closer, it made it hard to think. With him in such close proximity, he was all she could think about.
Who cares if she'd have to be bitten by a vampire – and turned into one? Edward had told her that they hunted animals instead of people. She ate meat now; would it be that much different? It couldn't be that bad.
Unable to help herself, she started to twist towards him for a kiss. He obliged, realizing her intentions before she turned all the way around. His lips were fierce against hers, but not too hard. Or if they were, she was beyond noticing. It was like a wildfire, burning through her body. When it reached her mind, she couldn't even remember thinking of leaving. How could she have even considered giving this up?
Ellie was dizzy by the time they broke apart and had trouble catching her breath. He'd said that she should choose whatever felt right in her heart. But as she looked into his warm, loving gold eyes, she knew that he'd be crushed if she left. She would be devastated, too. So why would she leave and cause both of their destructions? It was such a silly choice. There really only ever was one outcome.
Edward smiled as he heard her decision.
do u still want me 2 make ur banner? heres the first part of it(i have to get another pic)(unless u like it already?)