Have you ever wondered why Edward was so devoted to Bella? Why he was so crushed when he had to leave her? Why he was reluctant to get close to her? Why he was so protective of her? Why he was so depressed and resentful of vampire life? Why the Cullens were so quick to vote "yes" on her transformation? It's because he didn't tell Bella the whole story. It's because Bella wasn't the first "singer" he encountered. It's because Bella wasn't the first human he fell in love with.
It couldn't be happening again. Not again. He had already been through so much in his too-long life to have this girl move here – and be right here. He knew it wasn't her fault; she couldn't help herself. But he couldn't suppress a black-eyed glare in her direction, which she returned with a timid turn of the head.
He gripped the easily breakable desk to restrain himself. One slip, and it would be all over. He knew that for a fact. Her beautiful chocolate brown eyes, which he had seen for only a second, were comparable to green eyes he'd been lost in so long ago. The scent was too familiar, also.
Memories tried to surge up, memories he'd rather leave in the past. He had been doing that successfully for over fifty years now – had it really been that long? Time went so fast.
Through sheer willpower, he managed to push them back into the deep recesses of his mind, at least for now. He could think about her later, on the trip. He'd already made up his mind to get away from her. He couldn't bear to stay here, with this new girl. This bringer of bittersweet memories.
Did Biology always take this long? A fraction of a second before the bell rang, he was out of his seat, moving a bit too quickly for the human crowd around him. He sensed she was watching, but, like during lunch, he couldn't decipher her thoughts. And maybe that was a good thing. He didn't want to hear what this personal demon had to say.
Thirty minutes later, after dropping his worried brothers and sisters off at home and switching cars with his adoptive father, he sped off to nowhere in particular. Maybe Alaska. Maybe not. He couldn't imagine being near other people right now.
And there the memories were, slapping him in the face. Reminding him of a time when he was happy. Reminding him of how he ruined everything.
If anyone makes banners, I kind of need one. I'd be very grateful. Anyways, leave comments telling me what you think. Happy reading. :)
“Not immediately,” Ellie said when she saw his expression. He nodded. “I'd want to call my parents, tell them goodbye.”
“Of course, Ellie.” He'd agree to anything she asked for right now, even if he was worried what would happen when she called.
“You could have a month if you wanted.”
“A week, Edward. I don't want to make this any harder than it is already.”
“Okay, then. A week.”
“Now, what exactly happens in a week?”
“It's not...pleasant.” She would have asked what that meant, but she wasn't sure she wanted to know. She'd find out soon enough. “Carlisle will do the actual biting.”
“You're going to be there, right?”
“With you...being...you...and Carlisle biting you...I don't know if I'd be able to...restrain myself.”
“If you can't be there with me, in my final minutes of humanity, I'm not doing it at all. If you love me enough, you'll be able to 'restrain yourself'.”
“That's not fair.” She grinned, knowing she had him. It wasn't that she wanted to cause him discomfort of any kind, just that if anything went wrong, she wanted his face to be the last thing she saw. That wasn't so selfish, was it?
“Ellie, either you don't understand or you don't care. Did you miss the part where I said that your blood is harder to resist than anyone else's?”
There was no point in arguing with her. He had to do it. “Fine,” he said in exasperation. Though he was terrified, he didn't show it. What if something happened? What if he couldn't resist? What if he killed her? He'd never be able to live with himself. Faith, then. Faith was the only thing he had at this point. Like she said, if he loved her enough, he'd be able to do it. “Fine. I'll be there. Just pray that nothing will happen.”
“I don't need to pray.”
“Don't tell them where you are,” Edward said as he handed Ellie the phone.
“Of course not. I just want to be able to tell them bye.”
She dialed the familiar phone number and waited for someone to pick up. Two rings and, “Hello?” she said as she gripped the phone.
“Hey, Mom.” The phone fell to the table with a clatter. Ellie's father came into the room.
“What's wrong?” he asked, seeing his wife's expression of shock. He saw the phone lying on the table and the worst scenario came to mind. He marched over to the phone, determined that he wouldn't react badly, whatever the news.
“Hello? Who's there?” Mr. Kendrick said.
“Hi, Daddy,” Ellie giggled.
“No, it's the president.”
“Is it really you?”
“It's really me, Dad.”
By this time, her mother had snapped out of it. Mrs. Kendrick ripped the phone out of her husband's hands and said, “Ellie?”
“Deja vu. Weird.”
“W-w-w-where are you?”
Ellie sighed. “Had to get to this so quickly, didn't we.”
“Elizabeth Kendrick, you tell me where you are.”
“I can't explain. I just...this call was to talk to you one last time.”
“One last time? What do you mean? Ellie, you just up and left, leaving no explanations and no goodbyes, and now you're calling 'one last time'?”
“I can't tell you how sorry I am. I never meant to hurt you.”
“Come back home, Ellie. Please, I'm begging you.”
“If I could I would. But where I am now...well, I'm in a better place. I'm going to be happier now. Just let me go, Mom.”
“If you were so unhappy, w-w-why didn't you tell me? We could have c-c-cancelled all your shows, we could have been a n-n-normal family again.”
“I'll love you forever. Tell Dad that, too. I'll always love you guys so, so much.”
“Don't hang up! Ellie, don't hang up!”
“No, Ellie!” But the phone was already dead. She collapsed on the couch and sobbed.
“What happened?” Mr. Kendrick asked. His stomach was doing flips as he watched his wife break down.
“S-s-she said she was calling one l-l-last t-t-time. She said she was in a b-b-better place and that she would be h-h-happier.” She couldn't say any more. And neither could he. They sat down and cried for all they had lost.
“I shouldn't have done that,” Ellie said. Her nose was starting to sniffle.
“You needed closure. You wouldn't have been happy any other way.”
“Forget about me. How could I do this to them? I call my mother, out of the blue, only to tell her that she'll never see me again? They would've been better off thinking I had just disappeared.”
“The past is the past, Ellie. You can't change what's already happened.”
“Thanks. That makes me feel so much better,” she snapped. “You didn't have to hang up on your family – permanently!”
“I didn't have a chance to say goodbye. Consider yourself lucky.”
“Edward, I didn't...”
“Forget about it.”
“If we're going to be together, we're going to have to tell each other about our pasts.”
“I said, forget about it.” He wouldn't look at her.
“I'm sorry,” she whispered.
He took a deep breath and tried to leave the past, well, in the past. It was hard, but he managed to force a tiny smile in Ellie's direction. “It's...it's fine. Just forget I said anything.”
“You can't place the blame on yourself all the time. It was my fault for snapping.”
“Can we please not fight over whose fault it was? Please? Just forget the whole thing ever happened, okay? I really don't want to fight with you.”
“Okay. I don't want to fight with you either.”
“I love you.”
“I love you too. If you don't know that by now, you're probably screwed.”