Have you ever wondered why Edward was so devoted to Bella? Why he was so crushed when he had to leave her? Why he was reluctant to get close to her? Why he was so protective of her? Why he was so depressed and resentful of vampire life? Why the Cullens were so quick to vote "yes" on her transformation? It's because he didn't tell Bella the whole story. It's because Bella wasn't the first "singer" he encountered. It's because Bella wasn't the first human he fell in love with.
It couldn't be happening again. Not again. He had already been through so much in his too-long life to have this girl move here – and be right here. He knew it wasn't her fault; she couldn't help herself. But he couldn't suppress a black-eyed glare in her direction, which she returned with a timid turn of the head.
He gripped the easily breakable desk to restrain himself. One slip, and it would be all over. He knew that for a fact. Her beautiful chocolate brown eyes, which he had seen for only a second, were comparable to green eyes he'd been lost in so long ago. The scent was too familiar, also.
Memories tried to surge up, memories he'd rather leave in the past. He had been doing that successfully for over fifty years now – had it really been that long? Time went so fast.
Through sheer willpower, he managed to push them back into the deep recesses of his mind, at least for now. He could think about her later, on the trip. He'd already made up his mind to get away from her. He couldn't bear to stay here, with this new girl. This bringer of bittersweet memories.
Did Biology always take this long? A fraction of a second before the bell rang, he was out of his seat, moving a bit too quickly for the human crowd around him. He sensed she was watching, but, like during lunch, he couldn't decipher her thoughts. And maybe that was a good thing. He didn't want to hear what this personal demon had to say.
Thirty minutes later, after dropping his worried brothers and sisters off at home and switching cars with his adoptive father, he sped off to nowhere in particular. Maybe Alaska. Maybe not. He couldn't imagine being near other people right now.
And there the memories were, slapping him in the face. Reminding him of a time when he was happy. Reminding him of how he ruined everything.
If anyone makes banners, I kind of need one. I'd be very grateful. Anyways, leave comments telling me what you think. Happy reading. :)
Wow. Last chapter/epilogue. It's gone so fast! Well, it's almost been a month. But still! Thank you SO much for reading. I can't tell you how grateful I am. :)
It was hard for Ellie in the first few months. No, hard didn't even cover half of it. She barely slept, barely ate, and almost never came out of her room. Her parents prayed that she would get over it soon, for having her here but miserable was infinitely worse than letting her be somewhere she was happy. On the phone, she had said that she was in a better place. She begged them to let her go. And they didn't. That was why she came back, they were sure of it. They felt responsible for her behavior and were a few days from going and finding that boy themselves. They never did.
Ellie eventually got to the point where she would have the occasional meal with her family, but not before she'd lost nearly ten pounds. They'd brought her brother, Josh, over to try and talk to her. They were very close, and she usually told him everything. But when he shut the door and came back out in the living room, he was unsuccessful in gaining more than an inaudible greeting from her.
Her memories of her short stay with the Cullens faded after a while. She couldn't remember just what Alice's hair looked like, or exactly how Esme's cooking tasted, or the exact layout of her room. But she knew the memories of Edward would never fade. She remembered exactly what he looked like.
That is, until she met Mark. Her mother dragged Ellie shopping one day; she'd always loved going. Maybe doing something she used to like would help. Mark was a cashier at one of the stores. She had tried on a few outfits, just to please her mother. Apparently they looked good.
Mark saw something in Ellie from the first second he laid eyes on her. She saw something in him, too. He knew that she had been hurt; he could see that in her eyes. He also knew that she was the most beautiful person he'd ever seen. Call it fate, call it coincidence, call it whatever you want, but the universal term was love at first sight.
Being with Mark made Edward fade, little by little, until she could no longer remember exactly what was said when or the exact color of his skin. And she didn't mind. In fact, she liked the feeling a lot. Not that she would ever truly get over him. Just that she felt more free than she ever had. She wasn't being held captive by his memories anymore; she was able to live and let go. Mark made everything feel better, let her live, and they quickly fell in love.
Not long afterwards, Ellie started writing a new album. It helped her work through her feelings, aptly titled “Heartbreak”. It was a breakup album, the sequel to her breakout album, “Love At First Sight”. It sold more than double the records of her first. Her tour sold out within the first two weeks, all thirty locations. Getting back into the music made her feel good, and she was back to normal.
Not surprisingly, the happy couple was married on Christmas 1960. They were only twenty when they exchanged vows, but the thought of leaving each other never crossed either of their minds.
The happiest day of Ellie's life, even counting the few weeks she was with Edward, was July 15th, 1962. That's when Caroline Alice was born. They didn't argue over names. In fact, they both knew the second they found out. Caroline, that is. Ellie picked out Alice.
She never told Mark about the Cullens. She didn't know about the not-knowing rule, but she kept the secret to herself. It just felt too personal to share, even with her lifelong husband. He realized it was hard to talk about why she had gone into that depression, so he never asked.
August 2nd, 1976 was another date that would be forever etched into Ellie's memory. She'd remember each miniscule detail of that night. Mark was on a business trip, so she and Caroline were alone until the next day. At precisely 9:53, Caroline rushed downstairs, breathless.
“What is it?” Her daughter's face was bone white and her hands were clenched into fists.
“There was a guy outside my window.”
“On the balcony?”
“But how could he get up?”
“I know he was there, Mom. There was somebody looking into my window. But then when I looked back, he was gone. He must have been jumped off or something.”
Ellie's stomach fell to the ground. Could...
“Could what?” Caroline was looking at her strangely. Had she said that out loud?
“Nothing. You stay down here. I'll see what's going on up there.”
She climbed the stairs and headed into Caroline's room. Her room was as messy as any teenager's room, and Ellie had to step over shirts and shoes strewn across the floor.
She opened the French doors and walked onto the narrow balcony. The night air was particularly warm, even for August. Nothing looked amiss, but then again, she wasn't expecting anything to be. Very cautiously, she called the name she hadn't uttered since that horrible day 20 years ago.
“Edward?” It hurt less than she would have thought to say it. Now, of course, she realized how stupid this was. He had left her. Why would he come back, and twenty years later? Still, a tiny shred of hope blossomed in her heart. If only she could see him once more. But he didn't come. She waited for at least a minute, then gave up. If he was coming, he already would have.
She headed back in, but froze when she heard a soft, “Don't go.”
Her eyes widened and her breath started coming quicker and quicker until she was nearly hyperventilating. She couldn't turn around. The melodic voice that had haunted her dreams was right behind her. He was here.
“I'm sorry,” he said.
She slowly swiveled herself through sheer willpower. He was standing there in his seventeen year old perfection, a hint of a smile on his regretful face. “For what?”
“Coming here. I just had to make sure you were okay.”
Her heart warmed with those words, but the iciness crept in quickly, faster and faster. “Why should you care? You were the one who left me, remember?”
“I'm sorry,” he repeated. He winced as she dumped memory after memory on him.
She considered his expression, his coming back here to check on her, and thought that she believed him. “It's okay. It ended up okay.”
“I'm happy for you.”
“Caroline's downstairs; I can't stay for long.”
“She's beautiful, your daughter. And I'm sure this one will be, too.” He placed his hand against her growing stomach. The tiny heartbeat brought a smile to his face. He was certain he had made the right decision.
“Thanks. How's Alice?”
“She told me to tell you how touched she was by the namesake.”
All Ellie could do was smile. She knew she should be cursing him out right now for abandoning her and making her go through that. She knew she should have thrown him off the balcony and told him to leave. But she couldn't bring herself to do that.
At that moment, though, Caroline came up to see what was taking so long. “See anything, Mom?”
Ellie twirled around, not knowing exactly what to say. “Uh, no. All clear.”
“I heard you talking to somebody.”
“Myself, honey. Talking to myself.”
“Can you go dry the dishes? I'll be right down.”
Caroline hesitated, knowing something was up. Her mother's face had never looked so...alive. But she did as she was told, knowing she could never win the argument.
Ellie turned back around, only to see...nothing. He was gone. “Edward!” she whispered. No answer. He had left her again, leaving only his memory.
She went back downstairs, not knowing exactly how she felt about the visit. On one hand, part of her still loved him and loved his presence, however long. On the flipside, he had brought up memories she'd rather forget. However she felt, she knew it touched her that he still cared enough to come and check on her. Was this the first time he'd done it? If it was, it was also the last. She never saw him again.
Caroline was waiting for Ellie in the kitchen. “Mom, what went on up there? I know you were talking to somebody. You never talk to yourself.”
“Nothing went on.” She went back to washing dishes.
“Don't play dumb with me. I'm old enough to know, aren't I?”
Ellie sighed. It would help to dump on somebody, leaving out the supernatural parts, of course. “If I tell you, you have to promise not to tell anyone. Not Dad, not your friends, no one.”
“I haven't even told Dad. You'll be the first person to know.”
“Is this about a boy? A childhood sweetheart or something?”
“Yes. It's about a boy. A boy named Edward.”
I had written this as chapter twenty one, and had an epilogue, which was basically Edward telling Bella. But I looked back and it didn't fit at all. So I made this into the epilogue and it makes so much more sense.