The Twilight Saga

I was so intrigued by the twilight books that i decided to write my own book about what happens after breaking dawn. Please let me know what you think about it.

Chapter 1- Bella


I often wondered what my life would be like had I stayed human. But the more I think about it the happier I am with the way things are. I am especially happy with
my family new and old. Carlisle and Esme have
felt like my parents since Edward I were dating. Rosalie’s definitely an older
sister. Shes the one you love to hate but love always wins. Emmett is the
brother who likes to rough house that is until he loses and you bruise his ego.
Jasper is the quiet one. Alice
is the fashion diva of the family. No one is allowed to wear the same thing
twice. Renesme is my world and everything in it. She has been since she was
just a bump in my tummy. Edward is my life and without him I wouldn’t have
anything else. My parents are still around. We see Charlie a lot, though not as
much as he would like, but enough to keep him safe. Renee is still clueless
about everything. She is more out of the loop than Charlie is. However, life is
great and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Bella” I heard coming from the kitchen of our cottage. As I put my diary away I got up off the bed and headed in that direction. I was cut off halfway around the
corner. Edward caught me in mid air and pulled me as close to him as possible.
Of course we tumbled to the floor and I could hear some plates that weren’t
that far behind us in hitting the floor. “Damn it” I said as I tried to get up.
Edward pulled me back down and said “ill get it in a min, right now I just want
you,” he moved forward and locked our faces together in a passionate kiss. We
were interrupted by a knock on the front door. “Edward I have to get the door.”

“He can wait, its not an emergency. Its only Jacob looking for Nessie.” I paused for a moment as I thought about what to do next. I kissed him lightly and whispered in his ear, “We will have plenty of time for this
later.” And with that I got up and went to get the door. As Edward had said
Jacob stood at the door when I finally opened it. “Hey Jacob come on in.” He
walked in and started to say something then rethought it before he spoke. “Did
I interrupt something?” “No, Edward was just making breakfast for Nessie, where
is she?” I asked as I looked in Edwards directions. “I haven’t seen her since
she left this morning to your dad’s house.” He said as he put a plate of food
on the table in front of Jacob. “What did she go to Charlie’s for? And why this
early?” I noticed Jacob gave Edward a smug little smile. “ok what’s going on?
What do you two know that your not telling me?” Edward looked at me with my
favorite smile and laughed as he said “ I told her I wouldn’t tell you” Jacob
looked up and said “Nope I was told not to tell either.”  “Fine then I go and ask someone who will tell
me.” With that I walked out of the room and went for my cell phone. I called
Charlie’s house and Sue answered. “Hello,”

“Sue its Bella, is Nessie over there?”

“Yes, but I was told not to tell you why. Do you need her home?”

“No I was just wondering where she was. Can you get Charlie please.”

“Sure but he wont tell you anything either.”

She set the phone down on the counter and I could hear her walk into the living room where Charlie and Nessie were talking about something. I couldn’t hear all of what they were saying because as soon as Sue
said my Name they shut up. I hear Nessie tell Charlie, “don’t say anything it’s
a surprise,” “I remember Nessie.” He walked into the kitchen and picked up the
phone. “Hey Bells what’s going on?”

“Oh nothing just wondering why my daughter is over there this early and why I wasn’t told anything.”

“She’s fine Bells. Don’t worry, she’ll be home soon.” Then he hung up.

I walked back into the kitchen of the cottage and I heard faint laughing under Jacob’s breath. “What are you laughing at dog?” He stopped laughing and gave me a dirty scowl. “Just wait till she comes home and she can
tell you what going on.” I looked at Edward and gave him a frown of my own.
Then I walked over to the table, pulled out a chair and sat down with a sour
look on my face. Edward came to stand behind me, kissed my neck and whispered
“Its nothing bad so stop worrying.” I looked up at him and glared. “You look so
tempting when you look at me like that.” I looked at Jacob, he was finishing
his food. Then got up and put his dishes in the sink for me to do later.
“Jacob, what time are you going over there to get her? Since I take it you took
her over there in the first place.” He looked at me with a guilty look on his
face and said “in a few hours, she wants time with Charlie so that…” Edward
glared at him from across the kitchen. “Oh right I almost forgot.” “Never mind
I need to hunt anyways.”

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Very nice!
I really enjoyed that chapter! You've captured the characters pretty well. Aside from some very minor gramatical errors that can surely be fixed, it was very good. I like the idea of Bella having a diary, and you left us in suspense with Renesmee's surprise.
ps. loved it, wish i had writing skills, wait maybe i do, (write,write,write) omg i love my skills!
Thank you for inspiring me!!
:) Katarina
I walked out into the forest and took off running north. Watching the trees and the scenery pass by me as I ran. I stopped just short of the clearing where we faced the Volturi not that long ago. I froze in my tracks, listening to my surroundings. I smelled Edward before he even came into view. Then I smelled dog, Jacob maybe. But it wasn’t his smell, I didn’t know this smell. I was still searching for the unfamiliar smell when Edward came to stand next to me. “You know I don’t like you going hunting by yourself.” I looked at him and put my finger over his mouth to tell him to be quiet. “Do you smell that?” He froze and turned toward the east. “It smells like a dog and two, no three humans. Just camping, we’ll go a little farther north and then start heading west.” We went north and then headed west. I listened for the sound I wanted and then searched for the smell that went with it. When I found it I leaped into the trees and waited. A mountain lion came into view a few hundred feet away, hunting something smaller. I waited for the right moment and then leaped out of the tree and landed just in front of him. The mountain lion froze and then got in the position to pounce. I took one more look at him and just as he leaped into the air I jumped and took him down. I was getting better at taking down my prey and being clean about it. When my lion was drained I got up and turned in the direction where Edward was. I headed in his direction and found him just as he was getting up. When we were both done we decided to head back to the house.
The closer we got to the house the better I could smell Renesme. We walked up to the cottage and I noticed there was a note on the door. It was Alice’s handwriting, it said

“Your presence is requested at the Cullen house at 2:00 pm. Please go inside and change into the clothes laid out for you.”

I pulled the note off the door and walked in. When I walked into the bedroom I noticed two white garment bags laying on the bed. I opened the one that was on my side of the bed that I never slept in. I pulled the clothes out of the bag and looked at them closely. There was a blue dress with black skin tight pants to go underneath. And of course black pumps to match. Edward had black slacks, a dress jacket and a blue vest that matched my dress. He had black dress shoes to match. At the top of the bag was a blue flower hair clip attached to a note, “Do your hair and put this in it.” I figured Alice was responsible for the clothes but I didn’t think she would go as far as hair accessories. I got dressed and looked at Edward as I walked into the bathroom. I did my hair how I figured Alice would want it. When I walked out I saw the most handsome man I had ever seen in my life. Edward stood there looking absolutely magnificent. I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around his waist and whispered “Do we have to go? Cause you look so scrumptious” He laughed and gave me my favorite crooked smile and said “Yes, like you said earlier we will have plenty of time for this later.” He kissed my forehead and smiled. I looked up at him and said “it’s not fair using my own words against me like this.” He laughed and took my hand and we walked towards the door.

As we walked up to the Cullen’s house I heard laughter and giggling. I could make out people talking about different subjects. I smelled Nessie, Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, Rose, Jasper, and Alice of course. I also noticed the wolves, Jacob, Sam, Seth, Leah, Embry, and Quil. Along with the humans, Charlie, Sue, Emily, and one other that didn’t smell familiar. As we got closer I noticed the mood changed for half the room. They knew we were outside. As we walked up the front steps I heard low whispers, “shhh, there here…” “be quiet it has to be a surprise…” Edward took my hand and we walked leisurely into the house. As we walked in house everyone shouted in joy. Even though vampires cant have feelings I was thrown back but the sudden surge of energy and excitement. I looked around the room and saw everyone I smelled from outside and one other that I didn’t expect to see, Anglea. I had trained my face to show human emotions for those that didn’t know that I was no longer human. In that moment I tried for surprise and curiosity, it must have shown cause Angela came up to me and hugged me saying, “it’s so good to see you Bella. I’ve missed you. How have you been?” I could feel the tension in the room loosen. “I’ve been fine, just moving along one day at a time. How have you been?”
“I’ve been ok I guess, a little down but then Alice called and asked if I could come up for a visit. She said it was a special occasion but wouldn’t tell me what.”
“When did she call you?”
“A few days ago”
“How long have you been in town then?”
“Since last night, you look surprised to see me”
“Well yeah, I haven’t seen you in what feels like forever. No one has told me anything all day.” I looked around the room and noticed that almost everyone had a smug look on their faces as if to say “I didn’t do it. I don’t know anything.” I had to smile then because they all knew I hated surprises. I looked up at Alice just then and said “so what’s the celebration for? Why is everyone gathered together and why wasn’t I allowed to know about anything?” Alice skipped toward me with a smile on her face and said “because we knew you hated surprises and we knew you would object, so we kept it a secret from you.” She hugged me and gave me a cute little smile. I looked at her and asked “so then what’s the celebration?” The room got a little quieter and Nessie came up to hug me. When she pulled back she said “The celebration is for you and daddy….” I was a little confused but she could tell so she put her hand on my neck and showed me why we were celebrating.

I was taken back by the images of lights every where and every one dressed up. Then I noticed that everyone was sitting behind two people in front of an arch. She was remembering the pictures I had showed her of our wedding. Was it our anniversary already? I guess I had forgotten what with everything that had gone on in the last few years. I still cant believe that Edward and I had been married for 5 years already. I had a shocked look on my face that said I knew and that I had forgotten. Edward leaned over my shoulder and whispered in my ear, “It’s ok Bella, we have been very busy this last year. Plus it made it easier to surprise you with this anniversary party. The look on your face is priceless. Not to mention that Jasper is laughing because of your emotions right now.” I glanced over at Jasper and he stopped laughing. I felt a very specific emotion at that moment so he would know exactly how I felt about it, and it was not a nice one.
it's GOOD you should keep writing I can't wait,So what happens next
That was even better!!!!!!!!!! Very good job
“Do we have to go? Cause you look so scrumptious” -Lol, yes he does.
wow this is great - I'm loving reading this, and you are so good at it! Please carry on!

Really good! I love this story! keep writing!

Just two things i noticed in this chapter, Sam and Leah at the party? I thought that they weren't, like, too good friends with the Cullens. Also, wouldn't Angela be more surprised at the new Bella, and why don't vampires have emotions?

But i really do like it,


P.S please check out my sequel to BD:


KEEP WRITING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Its soooooo good!!!! Please finish it!
thank you but this wont be completely finished for a long time. but thanky ou for the feed back and i will post more as i get it done.
That was really good! I really got into it i want to know what the surprise is and what Jacob was going to tell Bella.


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