Bella's Sun 2
PROLOGUE
3rd Person POV
After Edward flung her into the bolder, Victoria raced through the trees her natural gift allowing her to feel that Edward was not in pursuit so she assumed that he was with the wolf. Those Cullens were the strangest vampires she had ever come across, however she had no doubt that he would be hot on her trail soon. When she attacked Jacob, she heard a howl off in the distance and instinctively knew that it was too far east and not near the others. She was already near the water so she decided to take a swim up north around the small peninsula and come back south closer to the lonely howl. Victoria emerged from the water and wrung the extra water from her clothes, normally she didn't care, but she wanted to be able to move easily.
As she moved quickly the terrain began to get more rocky as the elevation grew higher and higher. Her gift was evasion and so she didn't normally pursue danger, but her instincts told her that this was where Bella would be and as she got closer she began to smell her. It was different, with the faint smell of wet dog mixed with multiple different smells that Victoria knew to be the Cullens, especially Alice. Bella baffled Victoria and she couldn't figure out how one human girl could have such an impact on her.
To Victoria humans were stupid and weak, she could murder hundreds in a matter of minutes if she wanted, how Bella remained alive was quite a mystery. She wanted Bella to suffer for being simply a pain in the ass, but even more so Victoria was curious about Bella. How was this girl able to surround herself with things that most humans considered to be monsters?
Victoria felt confident if the Cullens had not gotten involved then her army would have completely decimated the wolves. Once Victoria knew she was heading in the right direction she climbed up into the trees and began to softly float from branch to branch, trying not to jostle or give away her approach. She could feel that Edward was once again after her.
Edward followed her scent to the water and then assumed that she would head south towards either La Push or Forks. So Edward ran along the shore line, but he was running the wrong direction.
Victoria did not know that, but could feel Edward's pursuit which made her nervous and anxious. She saw Seth and Bella, she was awake, sitting at his side, and running her hand down his back. When the battle started, Seth kept flinching, while he watched his sister and brothers fighting and his movements kept Bella from sleeping. Alice and Bella continued to ask Seth yes or no questions, and for the first time he wished that he could speak in wolf form.
When Alice wasn't asking Seth questions she was trying desperately to see her family, especially Jasper. If there was ever a time that she was desperate to see his future it was then. She would get flashes of Jasper tearing apart a vampire, but then one of the wolves would get involved causing her to loose the image. It was extremely frustrating for Alice, and her head was starting to hurt trying to see things that were either fuzzy or just simply not going to appear. Alice probably should have been watching for Victoria's decisions, but she had to choose because she can't see two futures at the same time and Jasper was her priority.
There was a strong wind that helped disguise Victoria's movements and because Alice was worried and distracted trying to see her family, no one noticed Victoria getting closer and closer. Had Alice not been there or Bella not have so much vampire scent on her, Seth probably could have smelt Victoria coming, but with him already sitting with one vampire, smelling another one coming would have been more difficult. Victoria felt that, if she could incapacitate Alice and kill the dog, then she could take her time with Bella, and not have to rush it. She saw Alice leaning against the rock, with her eyes closed, deep in concentration as Victoria leaped from the tree, landing over Alice and immediately tore her tiny head from her body. Then she ripped Alice's arm and threw it at Bella, but Seth's paw smashed it into the ground.
Bella screamed and Seth howled fiercely as he stood over Bella, while she scampered behind him. Seth could feel that Leah and Jacob were on their way, but it didn't help him know how to fight and protect at the same time. He felt so unprepared and he was scared that he was going to let Jake down by not keeping Bella safe.
“You're next, dog!” Victoria hissed, and leaped at Seth who dodged once, but then instantly Victoria pounced again landing on Seth's back. He tried to buck her off, but he also had to try and be aware of where Bella was. The wolves smelled so terrible to Victoria that she really didn't want to bite another one, so instead she used both of her hands to squeeze hard on Seth's shoulder crushing the bones there. Seth whimpered as Victoria continued to move down his back crushing as many bones as she could. The further Victoria went the harder it was for Seth to remain standing and ended up crumbling to the ground.
“No! Please, stop hurting him!” Bella screamed as she scrambled to her feet. “You only have a few seconds before the rest of the pack and Cullens know you are here. Take me instead.” Bella wasn't sure what Victoria had planned for her, but based on the warning the Laurent gave, it was going to be something slow and painful. Bella just hoped that it was slow enough that Jacob could find her before Victoria finally killed her.
“You really are a stupid girl.” Victoria hissed, as she sprung towards Bella. “Climb on and I'll let him live.”
Bella leaped onto her back, praying that she wasn't making the stupidest decision of her life.
Jacob's POV
I leaped, landing next to Leah and began to search for Bella, but I couldn't see her anywhere. Seth, where is Bella? I asked.
I thought she was here. She was right behind me. Seth answered panicked.
Where is Victoria? Leah asked.
I don't know. Seth began to cry and his body shook, which caused him to howl in pain.
The rest of the pack and the Cullens arrived. Jasper ran to Alice and frantically began to piece her back together, with Esme's and Carlisle's assistance. Leah continued to comfort Seth trying to get him to relax so his body could heal, his crying and shaking was making it worse. I began to sniff around trying to find Victoria's scent but it seems that she must have been up in the trees where her scent is much harder to trace. The harsh winds were making it extremely difficult.
The moment her pieces were back in place, Alice snapped back to life and she began screaming about Victoria.
“Victoria, has Bella!” Alice screamed.
Immediately my snout was in her face, and Jasper looked at me cautiously. Where? Where did she take Bella! I growled, and suddenly I heard Edward's voice interpreting it for me. It's about freaking time you showed up, I mumbled.
“Sorry, I followed her scent to the water and then I thought she would be heading back towards La Push for Bella, so I went that direction. I didn't realize that she figured out that Bella was here. I heard everyone running here, so that is when I changed directions and started running.” Edward explained.
“She is going back to Seattle, but hasn't decided specifically where.” Alice answered.
Let's go! I insisted.
Jake, we can't go chasing her around Seattle as wolves. Embry said, worried that I was going to get mad at him for contradicting me.
We need you, Jake. Leah insisted. Sam deserves to have you here, when we bury him.
I whined, because I knew that they were right. I needed to stay here for my pack.
“Jacob, Bella is alive . . .” Alice stated.
How do you know that? I questioned.
“Because Victoria is still planning different ways to kill her.” Edward answered fiercely.
I couldn't decide if I felt relieved or even more nervous. Of course I was glad that Bella was still alive, but I hated to think of what torture she would endure. Promise me, that you'll bring Bella back to me.I said to Edward.
“I will, Jacob.” Edward promised.
ALIVE! I clarified. And truly alive, not a frozen over corpse that moves.
“I'll do my best.” Edward answered.
I knew that was just going to have to be good enough, because that was the best answer he could give me.
The Cullen family ran together towards Seattle, except for Carlisle who offered to stay behind to treat Seth. Seth wasn't able to phase back yet so everyone, but myself, phased back and carried Seth towards La Push. I ran back to Sam, and I saw his broken and stiff body. I phased back and knelt down by his side, and I couldn't hold it together any longer. I cried for my alpha and wished that he would have been able to train me. I cried for my pack family who lost their leader and was now going to be following me. I cried for Bella and I wanted her here with me and not in the clutches of a sadistic vampire. I was so scared, so alone, and continued to cry until I couldn't cry any more.
Then with shaking arms I lifted Sam's body and carried him home. I knew that my life was never going to be the same, from now on, I was alpha.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by JJ on -
Aww, thank you. I'm glad that you are caught up again. :D
Yeah, I agree the restrictions are really annoying.
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Permalink Reply by Kc Black on -
First off, Sorry for not commenting. High School takes a lot of time. Anyways, here's my comment:
Amber took it rather well and well so did Bella! I was expecting faint when Amber was told the truth. And whats better, no yelling!!!!!!!!!! I'm so happy Amber and Seth wont break up :)
Why am I not surprised Jackie left? How lond have they been dating/married? So he tells her the truth and then puts ontop "Oh I might imprint and love someone else?" I would've done the same. Though I dont want them to break up. They are perfect for each other.
Great chapter! Are you ever gonna start posting twice a week again? I hope so. I hate waiting once a week
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Permalink Reply by JJ on
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Welcome Back!! (slacker, j/k)
I think that Amber probably hit information overload about the time that vampires were real too, LOL. So I'm not sure how much she was really able to absorb, but Seth can keep explaining things to her because I'm sure she will have lots of questions. I'm sure that some are disappointed to not know exactly what Seth said to Amber, but I felt it better to take this time to turn the focus on Jacob and Bella. And I felt Amber's reaction was more important than the specific words, and hopefully I got the reaction across.
Jackie is going through a lot. She is finally getting the answers that she has wanted all these years. Or... maybe she thought she wanted...
To be honest, reactions from my readers is my greatest motivation when it comes to writing, and I am struggling to get these chapters written on a weekly basis. If I can get more motivation than I can get them out faster. But I feel like everyone is losing interest in the story and so it makes it harder to keep going. I will finish, that I can promise, but at this rate once a week is the best I can do.
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Permalink Reply by Anita Newbill on -
I'm not loosing interest, but if you stop, just wind it up in a way to not leave us hanging!!! It's a great story, I don't know WHAT thee formatting problem is, but I could only read ALL of it on the other fan site! Blessings to you & your family!!!
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Permalink Reply by Anita Newbill on
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Wow, I don't know WHAT they did to this site, but it's AWFUL!!! I think I will just follow you on the other fan page from now on, OK? Going therenow, so I can read this story fluidly without so many gaps!! Love it, tho!!!
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Permalink Reply by eftiola lautner on -
no no no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im not losing interest!!its just my computer broke, then my brother wouldnt let me on when it was fixed and now he does so thats y im finally reading it agian :)
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Permalink Reply by Lucretia McCray on -
that was a really good story i loved it and their reactions was so unexpected loved it
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Permalink Reply by Erin Smith on -
I'm a new reader and I love this story!!! But since this is Bella's Sun 2, do you know where the first story is so I can read it? But you should definitely keep writing, this is really good.
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Permalink Reply by JJ on
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Sure, I'm sure that you were in for a doozy starting with this story instead of Bella's Sun. :) Thank you so much for reading. :D
Bella's Sun is actually a sequel to Jacob's NM, which is exactly what it sounds like. It is New Moon written in Jacob's pov.
Jacob's NM - http://thetwilightsaga.com/group/officialteamjacob/forum/topics/jac...
Bella's Sun - http://thetwilightsaga.com/group/officialteamjacob/forum/topics/bel...
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Permalink Reply by JJ on
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Song - I won't let go by Rascal Flats
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BW9zMSwKIdU&feature=related
Chapter 28 – HURTING
“Hold on! I'm right here.” I yelled as I turned the deadbolt and opened the door in quick movements. “What's going on?”
“She left!” Embry answered.
“Jackie?”
“Yes.”
“Oh Embry . . .” I sighed, shacking my head.
“And she took Susan with her.” Embry added.
“Oh crap! Any idea where she went?”
“No, I called her mom, acting like I was just curious if she were there. I didn't want to scare her.”
I turned and saw Bella, Seth, and Amber, standing behind me. Seth and Amber's eyes were still red and swollen and Amber's nose was extremely red from wiping it. Bella's hair was messy in a low ponytail, she smiled sadly at Embry.
“I'm so sorry.” Bella said to Embry, as she walked towards us, taking my hand.
“Thanks,” Embry mumbled softly. He glanced at Seth and Amber. “Are you two alright?”
Seth and Amber looked at each other and Seth didn't seem to know what to say as slowly Amber put her arm around his waist. “Yeah, we are.” Amber said, with a weak smile.
Seth sighed. “Thank you, I love you so much.” He squeezed her into his side.
I smiled at them and then looked at Embry, I think of all the wolves he has had the hardest time. It wasn't just a secret, it was something that has almost destroyed the relationships closest to him. His mother got close to kicking him out of the house in high school, he was grounded so often. Luckily it got better for him after the fight with Victoria was over, but now things with Jackie were at an all time low.
“What can I do?” I asked Embry. He shrugged as he shook his head not answering the question. “Did she take her car or by foot?”
“Car.” Embry answered.
“Why don't you both take our truck? I'll walk over with Seth and Amber and then put the kids to bed.” Bella offered.
“Thanks Bells, I love you.” I wrapped my arms around her, kissed her quickly, and then walked with Embry behind the shop where Bella's old truck was parked. Neither of us drove much unless it was to get parts or specialty things, and the truck was still often used as a tow truck when needed. Technically the Rabbit could still run, but it hasn't gone anywhere in years and currently resided in my old garage at Dad's house.
“Good luck, guys.” Seth yelled and waved as Embry and I got inside the truck, starting her with a loud roar.
“Where should I go?” I asked.
“Let's drive through La Push, if she isn't here then Seattle is the only other place.”
I nodded and began to drive through the area. Embry told me that he had already looked through the resort, checking each cabin. It was a warm evening and the moon shown brightly with a few large clouds moving across it. We drove with the windows down, looking everywhere as we went.
“How do you know she left? Maybe she just went for a drive to blow off some steam.”
“I thought of that, but I think she would go by foot. You know how much Jackie loves to run. It has always been her escape when times were rough.”
I thought about all the times that Jackie would find me on the beach. She had always been running or swimming. “So the fact she took the car is a bad sign.” Embry continued.
I nodded slowly and then began to head out towards Seattle while Embry used his phone to call people that they knew there to see if any of them had heard from her. He was a little more honest and told them that they got into a huge fight and for them to please call him if she calls.
It was another mile when we saw her car parked on the side of the road. We got out quickly and I examined the car while Embry yelled for Jackie. I noticed that the engine was slightly warm, so I figured that she hasn't been gone for too long.
“Jackie!” I yelled.
Embry was breathing heavily and I could tell that he was really nervous. I glanced through the car and there were small toys along the floorboard, but no diaper bag so I assumed that Jackie took it with her.
“Do you think I should phase?” Embry asked. “I could sniff her out quickly.” None of us took phasing again lightly, so for him to suggest that really meant a lot.
“Yeah, I'm sure you could. Um, let me call Quil first.” Right as I said that my cell phone went off and I saw Quil calling. “Well, speak of the devil . . .” I answered the phone.
“Jake! Is Embry still with you?” Quil asked quickly.
“Yes.” Embry was standing next to me and without further thought I handed him the phone. They spoke quickly and Embry nodded his head for me to follow him at a slow jog.
I could tell that we were heading back towards La Push, as we followed a small stream and weaved quickly through the trees. I gathered from Embry's side of the conversation that when Bella went home she told Quil what happened and he went ahead and decided to help by phasing. Then he started looking through the trees, especially the wooded area behind the resort. The way that the roads weaved around we weren't far from the resort.
Due to Jackie's family owning the resort her whole life she knew the area extremely well, so when her car ran out of gas, she knew right where she was and began to walk back to the resort. Quil found her and nearly gave her a heart attack coming towards her in wolf form, it was her throwing all the contents of the diaper bag at him that helped him get a clue that maybe he should back up and find a different approach. Then he ran a short distance to the resort, phased and borrowed a phone to call us.
Embry hung up and handed me my phone which I took and placed it in my pocket. “So what's the plan?” I asked him.
“We keep coming towards the resort and Quil will find us and we can follow him directly to them.”
“Are they okay?”
“Physically they are fine, but stupid Quil almost got himself killed scaring Jackie the way he did. Her first instinct was to protect Susan from some unknown beast.”
“If this weren't so serious that would have been fantastic to see.”
Embry gave a small smile. “Yeah . . .”
We were still jogging through the woods, using the bright moon as our source of light. Most of the time we could see well enough, but would go down a ravine or through a heavily wooded area and have to slow down and be more careful. Embry and I appeared to be in great shape, maybe not quite as toned as when we were wolves, but still kept the same body structure. Despite that we were both breathing heavily as we made it down the side of a dry ravine. Without either of us suggesting it we decided to walk within the ravine. There were several rocks that were smooth and round from a time when water used to rush by.
“Hey Em, what happened? How much were you able to tell her?”
“Susan was taking a nap and I told Jackie that I needed to tell her some things. She's always known that there was a secret and so I thought that this would be a good thing.” Embry sighed. “You know how much I have hated having to keep this from her.”
I nodded, he really hated that. “So did you start with the wolves and then go into imprinting?”
“Yes, as I told her the truth I could tell that she had been really hurt that I kept it from her. She curled up in a ball, with her knees to her chest, shaking her head. She seemed to be relieved to know that we really didn't kill her step-dad, but I'm not sure that it being vampires was really an upgrade. It got worse with imprinting. It is a touchy subject for you too, so I know you get it. Well it went from uncomfortable to worse as she switched from being hurt to being angry. I was angry too and we were both yelling at each other.”
Embry got quiet like it was too personal and he really didn't want to continue, so it seemed like a good time to pick up the pace again. We ran through the woods towards some unknown mark until we saw Quil trot up to us, following him the rest of the way. Quil moved so quickly that we had to go at a fast jog in order to keep up. As we moved around a long bend in a wide ravine I could hear Jackie and Susan, talking to each other. Jackie sounded calm and I don't know if she was staying collected for Susan's sake or if she had calmed down.
Embry increased his running to a full sprint. “Jackie!” He yelled.
I ran right behind him, as Quil stayed close, but still hidden in the nearby ravine. From a distance I could hear Susan squeal 'Daddy' as she began to wiggle her arm to get it free from Jackie. I could see Jackie scowl and her lips move, but I didn't catch what she said.
“Jackie, please.” Embry pleaded with her as he scooped up Susan into his arms.
“Don't start with me.” Jackie mumbled angrily.
“Do you mind if I jump in?” I asked her.
“Jacob Black,” Jackie turned, glaring at me. “I should have known that you wouldn't be far behind.”
“You and Embry are my friends. Of course I am.”
“Are you here to lie to me some more, Jake?” Jackie had her arms crossed over her chest. The diaper bag was still thrown over one shoulder as she stood with her hip sticking out. I glanced at Embry and he still had Susan. He carried her a short distance, pointing out the stars up in the sky, small rocks, and plants that could be seen in the moonlight.
“No, I'm not. I've tried not to lie to you and technically everything I have ever told you was true. There were some things that I couldn't tell you at that time.”
“That is bull crap and you know it.”
I shook my head and I walked closer to her. “It's not crap, it's true.”
“You are a hypocrite, Jacob.”
“How so?” I said slowly. I didn't want to get angry with her because I knew that she had every right to not trust anything I had to say. However I knew that I had to try to get her to listen and took several deep breathes as I waited for her to answer.
Jackie glared like it should have been obvious and was even more angry that she had to explain herself to me. “Let me rephrase.” She took a deep angry breath. “Was I not told, because I wasn't your precious Bella or because Embry wasn't the great Jacob Black?”
Her words cut me like a knife being twisted on it's way back out to intensify the pain. I immediately took a step back, shocked that she said it out loud. Slowly, I backed up to a large boulder that over looked the ravine that wound its way through the area. I picked up several rocks, they could easily fit into the palm of my hand and threw them all down the ravine. They bounced off larger rocks, against the rocky surface, and through roots of large pine and oak trees twisted together, weaving along the side of the cliff.
I could see Jackie out of the corner of my eye pacing back and forth as I continued to throw random things down the ravine, thinking about what Jackie had said. Was she right? Did I have different rules for me and Bella than I did for other non-imprinted wolves? It wasn't on purpose. Once Bella found out, should it be that all girlfriends could know? I shook my head, answering my own mental questions. No, Bella shouldn't have known. I broke the rules based on a technicality. Maybe I did feel like I was different than everyone else, more special for some reason. I didn't mean to. Maybe it was an issue with Sam and him knowing that I was really supposed to be alpha and him being more lenient with me. Not telling Jackie was actually Sam's decision and I just continued the decision after he died because it made sense.
I was still deep in thought when I felt something brush against my shoulder. I turned my head and looked to see that Jackie had sat down on the same large boulder.
“I'm sorry.” Jackie whispered. “I shouldn't have said that to you.”
“Well, you gave me something new to think about.”
“Just stop it, Jake.”
“Alright.” I looked at her and sighed. “You ready to talk about why you are wondering through the woods with your daughter?” I looked around and didn't see her or Embry. “Speaking of, where is she?”
“Embry took her home. She is really tired and . . .” Jackie sighed. “. . . it's just better for now.” She shrugged. “I assumed that Embry already told you everything.”
“I know what Embry thinks. I want to know what you think.”
There was a long pause which I spent peeling the bark off of a random stick. I looked up as I saw Jackie's lips move, I wasn't sure if she was talking to herself or whispering so I scooted closer to her, placing my arm behind her back, my palm on the rough surface of the boulder.
“What?” I whispered to see if she was speaking to me.
She leaned towards me. “I feel like I can't trust you.”
“I'm sorry. I never wanted that. You can trust me, I'm an open book you could ask me anything.”
“Why couldn't you tell me? Do you not think I would keep the secret?”
“For a second Jackie try to make this less personal. We were in high school when you and Embry started dating. How many high school sweethearts actually make it?”
Jackie shook her head. “Not very many.”
“Exactly! A secret of this magnitude is a secret for a reason. We couldn't have every person that dated one of the wolf members to know the secret or quite frankly everyone would know.”
“Okay? So why not tell me when Embry and I started living together, got engaged, or even married. For crying out loud Jake! Were you ever going to tell me!?”
“No.” I whispered, shaking my head slowly.
Jackie's body stiffened and I could tell that she didn't like that answer at all. I leaned forward, rubbing my hand on her back. “I'm sorry, I know that isn't what you wanted to hear, but it is the truth.”
“I don't see how you keep a secret of this magnitude from me. My kids becoming wolves? Or with imprinting . . . I could have lost everything and not had any idea why.”
“I know, let me try to explain.” I continued to rub her back and I could feel her muscles relax. “I think that you could have known the secret once you and Embry were obviously in a committed relationship. I'm the last person to say that real love can't happen in high school, of course it can. And I'm not saying that you and Embry didn't really love each other back then, I know you did. But once Embry graduated from high school he immediately started to give up his wolf. He had the theory that if he stopped phasing that he couldn't imprint.”
“Embry gave up his wolf for me?” Jackie asked.
“Yes. It was what Embry wanted to do. So by the time you were living together in college Embry wasn't phasing and we hoped that imprinting was no longer an issue. So because of that there was no real reason to tell you.”
“What about our kids?” Jacked asked.
“There is no guarantee that they will become wolves. But if they do. . .” I cringed, knowing that she wouldn't like this. “. . . it probably would have remained a secret. Embry's mom still doesn't know.”
“That's crazy Jake.” Jackie looks down, picking at the cuff of her jeans.
“I know it is.”
I put my arm across her shoulders, she stiffened for a moment closing her eyes. I almost moved my arm until she relaxed and leaned her head on my shoulder. We were quiet as we listened to the birds chirp and saw two squirrels gathering nuts. They would chase each other up one tree, leaping from on branch to another and then down another still after the same nut. I felt Jackie's head move against my neck as she laughed, watching the squirrels banter around each other.
The clouds continued to gather in the sky and thunder could be heard, rumbling in the distance.
“Are you ready to go back home?” I asked her.
“No.”
“But you are coming back, right?”
“I don't know.” She turned her head and I could feel her breath on my neck. I shifted back, her head still on my shoulder, I looked down at her. Her eyes were closed and she seemed very relaxed.
“Jackie, please. Embry needs you, and you know he will not walk away from Susan without a fight.
“Yeah, but I'm not sure that is a good enough reason to stay.”
“What about love? He loves you, and you love him.”
“Sometimes love isn't enough, especially without trust.”
“But you now know everything.”
“Yeah . . . but I also know that I can't trust him because what I don't trust is completely out of his control.”
“You mean, imprinting?” I asked.
“Yes. You can't tell me that he will never leave me.”
“That might be true, but I can tell you I won't ever leave Bella. Not matter what. There is no way I would let 'nature' or whatever it is that controls imprinting control my love for Bella or for my kids. Seth is fighting it, why wouldn't Embry?” I challenged.
“Sometimes both isn't an option, Jacob. Seth lucked out that it was a baby and her parents . . . - she looked directly at me “. . . are being supportive. But what if it had been another woman?”
There was another long pause where I didn't want to answer her question. We looked at each other and I was thankful that she gave me the time to answer her question, but I wasn't any closer to having a good answer. I knew that I was being stubborn on the imprinting issue and while I believed that I would fight it and stay, it was not something that I could promise that I would be able to do.
“Sorry,” Jackie mumbled, breaking eye contact and looked down.
“What are you apologizing for?” I asked.
“I was hoping that I could see something in your eyes that you didn't want to tell me with your mouth.”
I shook my head, reaching out and cupped her cheek to lift her face to look at me. “I don't have anything to hide from you. I promise. I waited because I wanted to give you the truth and not the answer that I have told myself and Bella for over ten years.”
“So what's the truth?” Jackie whispered.
“That I don't know. I don't know what it is like to imprint and to have that connection to someone else.”
“I thought you could read each others' minds? And how you feel?”
“We can.”
“So . . . Then haven't you felt it.” I nodded with a sigh. Jackie took my hand with a sad smile. “I'm sorry I shouldn't be pressuring you about this.”
“It is alright. You are right, I know how intense it is, and that it completely changed them. Paul stopped chasing every girl he saw, Quil was content as long as he could make Claire happy, Sam left Leah . . .” I stopped, shaking my head.
“What makes you think you are different?” Jackie asked softly.
“They didn't have Bella.”
“That is sweet and all, but what makes you think that will make a difference?”
“Bella is enough all by herself for me to want to fight and not break her heart.”
“I'm sure that Sam thought the same thing.”
“No, he never thought of fighting it. He was the first, he never dreamed it was even a possibility. Seth is proving that it IS a possibility.”
“How is he doing that?”
“I admit, I wish that I could see inside his head right now.
“Jake . . .” Jackie whispered so softly I could hardly hear her.
I moved closer to her, leaning in to hear what she said. “What?” I whispered back.
“I'm so scared.”
I wrapped my arms around her and I could feel how tight her back and shoulders were as I ran my hands across them. Jackie laid her head on my chest, holding me so tightly I could feel her tremble as she cried. It made sense that she would be worried. Bella has had years to process the fear and anxiety, and she still passed out when knowing that we had to deal with it again. The road has been rocky at best, but we have made it through it.
“You are not alone, Jackie.” I whispered to her, smoothing out some of her hair.
Jackie took several shaky breaths, trying to get her crying under control. “I think that makes it worse . . .”
“How?”
“Because I'm not as strong as Amber or Bella . . .” She took another shaky breath. “I can't wait around for him to leave me.” I tried to interrupt, but she continued. “And I don't believe that he will stay.” She pushed up from my chest to look me in the eyes. We were so close that I could feel her breath on my cheek. “I don't believe that you will stay either. I believe that you want to, but I don't think you will.”
I closed my eyes. “You're wrong, I hope . . .” I whispered so softly that I wasn't sure if she even heard me. “Now I have four children as well.” I kept my eyes closed, shaking my head. “I couldn't leave them, for anything or anyone.”
Jackie sighed, closing her eyes as she laid her head back on my shoulder. “I get that you having a family makes a difference. I just don't know, and that is the problem.”
“And leaving Embry? That's your solution?”
“Maybe it won't hurt so bad if he isn't mine to lose.” I could feel her tremble again as a fresh round of tears began to soak through my shirt.
I held her close. “You know I thought the same thing once. I thought maybe Bella would be better with someone else that wouldn't one day hurt her. It was right after Sam died. Paul had just imprinted on Rachel and Quil on Claire, basically at the same time and I realized that I could imprint at anytime and on . . . on any age. I didn't want to be responsible for breaking her heart.”
Jackie stayed quiet as I continued to tell her about how I came back to her because I knew that Bella deserved the right to make the choice for herself and together we decided that staying together was a risk worth taking. As I spoke Jackie would cry again, I paused until she would nod her head against my chest, and then I would continue talking about the struggles that Bella and I have had with me being a wolf.
Jackie groaned, running one hand through her short hair. She had cut it really short after Susan was born and now kept it at about chin length. She wiped the tears from her face with a heavy sigh. She looked to be in a lot of pain and I assumed that she probably had a headache from crying so hard.
“Do you really think it is wise to make any type of decision right now?” I asked softly
“I don't know what else to do?” Jackie closed her eyes.
“Come home with me. You can talk to Bella and get a female perspective on things.”
Jackie frowned, sighing loudly. “Alright.”
We stood up from the rock and it was then that I realized how long we had been sitting there. My butt was numb and my left leg had fallen asleep, I looked at Jackie and she seemed to be rubbing her legs feeling the same. “Jeez, Jake, how long have we been sitting here?”
“I don't know.” We both hobbled around until the tingling subsided. Then together we walked to my house. It took us about an hour and the sky opened and began to rain. We didn't say much, the sun broke through the stormy sky as we stepped up to the front porch. It was the start of a new day and hopefully a brighter perspective.
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Permalink Reply by Lucretia McCray on
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that was amazing keep it up and cant wait til next week
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