Eclipse written from Jacob's pov. Obviously this is the sequel to Jacob's NM. This will be Eclipse as SM wrote it, I will not be changing the ending. For an alternate ending to Eclipse, check out my story Bella's Sun. - http://thetwilightsaga.com/group/officialteamjacob/forum/topics/bel...
(This story starts off the same as Bella's Sun, that story will detour in chapter 3)
Chapter 1 - WAR
Again! Sam yelled, as I picked myself up from the ground shaking dirt and gravel from my fur. Paul crouched down and we circled and evaded one another, each of us reading the mind of the other. Our pack mates watched closely and their own thoughts mixed in as well intensifying the challenge. We all have been practicing for days trying to sharpen our reflexes, and allowing our wolf to react rather than think and decide. When successful our wolf would move almost completely without thought and catch the other one by surprise, it was fantastic. Sam was careful not to let any of us get too seriously injured, but lets just say it is a good thing we heal fast.
When I returned from Bella's with the knowledge that she wanted the Cullens to make her one of them it became clear that the treaty was going to be broken. We had no idea how much time we would have, but we wanted to be ready.
Our greatest obstacles were Edward's ability to read our minds and Alice's ability to know the future. Her knowing what we were going to do the moment we decided was scary and our only option was to be faster than ever before. There would be no time to hesitate or second guess, no time to think. Jasper's ability to control our emotions was equally scary, and I sure hoped that Sam had some idea of how to counteract that because I could think of nothing. We knew that the Cullen coven would be a united front and we would have to be ready.
Fight training turned out to be a perfect way to vent our pent up anxiety and frustration. None of us took the treaty being broken lightly, and would not hesitate to declare war. However for me it was so much more than a treaty that was being violated, it was Bella who was putting herself on the alter as a human sacrifice. How could she not value her life more than that? Does she not see how important she is?
Suddenly I felt Paul's hard head directly into to my chest and I was on my back and his teeth instantly went around my throat making it where I couldn't breathe. Paul stand down. Sam ordered, and Paul's hold immediately released and oxygen refilled my lungs. Great job Paul,Sam acknowledged. Jacob distractions like that are going to get you killed.
Once again I picked myself off the ground and was angry and embarrassed. I hated that Bella still had that affect on me. I couldn't help but think about her, she called all the time and just wouldn't take the hint that we were over. There was never a we to begin without, outside of being her “best friend” and I knew that the love I had for her could not be stuffed back inside the ''friendship box”, we had gotten too close for that. That ship had sailed, and along with it my hopes and dreams of a life with Bella.
Pulling myself together I sat to the side and watched the next set sparring with one another, sometimes it was one on one and other times we had two on one. Some days were spent more on the mental training of combat and others were more physical endurance. Fighting against a large coven was mostly likely not going to be over very quickly and we so we ran for hours and hours. Most of the time we could make a game similar to tag, where one or two wolves would be “it” and would try and hit the others to work on dodging and running. After a couple more hours Sam declared training over and we all went home hungry and tired.
Quil had joined the pack about one week after the Cullens returned. He was so freaking excited to be in on the secret, and have his friends back, he didn't care about anything else. He stayed a wolf for just over a week, not in any hurry to get back to his human life and his girlfriend got frustrated not knowing where he was and broke up with him. They had only been dating about a month, so Quil took the break up well and really so did she. I must admit it is fantastic to have Quil with us and to not have to keep it from him anymore.
The pack feels complete and there is a sense of unity among us all, a brotherhood. Well maybe not all, Leah is still as difficult as ever and never fails to remind us of how she feels like an 'outsider' among 'outsiders'. We have all learned to pretty much take her moaning and complaining as just part of her charming personality.
In no time I made it home, landing on two feet, slipped on my shorts and walked inside. It was dark inside with only a handwritten note indicating that dad had gone fishing with Charlie. I cringed at the idea of what those two gossips would plan and scheme while having the whole day together. As much as I loved my dad, he really needed to get a life so he could stay out of mine. I suppose I could try and just pretend like I wasn't dying a little more each day that I ignored Bella, and then he wouldn't worry so much, but I wasn't really good about hiding my feelings. I always seemed to lay things out straight, just how it was. You couldn't sugar coat crap, and that is just how things are right now.
I walked over to the freezer and smiled when I saw three boxes of pizza staring back at me. I got them all out and turned on the oven while I sat them on the counter. I opened one box took the plastic wrap and cardboard off and placed it in the oven. It would need to cook for 20 minutes so I decided to jump in the shower and get cleaned up. The water felt great relaxing my tired muscles and I washed my hair and realized I would need to cut it again soon. I probably should have weeks ago, but I just didn't have the energy to care.
I got out of the shower, dried myself off, and walked to my room for some sweat pants. As I entered the kitchen I could smell the pizza and my mouth began to water. I removed the hot pizza from the oven and got the second pizza out of the box placing it in the oven to cook. I ate the first pizza while the 2nd cooked, and when it was ready did the same with the third. Once I was finished eating I sat down in front of the TV for some mindless relaxation.
It didn't take long before I heard my dad rolling in the front door.
“Hey Dad, there is some pizza on the counter if you are hungry.” I said from the couch.
“Okay, thanks.” Billy replied as he rolled over to me and dropped a folded square piece of paper that said 'Jacob' across the front into my lap.
“What is this?” I asked picking it up. He completely ignored me as he rolled back into the kitchen, I assumed for pizza. I opened the paper and my eyes about jumped out of their sockets as I read.
Please Jacob, talk to me!! I didn't read any further as the paper dropped from my hands and floated like a feather to the floor, as I bolted from the couch and stormed into the kitchen.
“What the hell was that!?!” I yelled.
“Jacob she's trying. Give her a chance to fix things.” Billy took two slices of pizza and set them on his plate and rolled in front of the kitchen table.
“What on earth for? Do you want me to just pretend that she isn't suicidal? Or has she given Edward up?” I asked sarcastically while pacing back and forth in our small kitchen.
“No. She hasn't. But she cares about you, maybe you could get her to change her mind.”
“Like that'll ever happen.”
“Well maybe it would if you would stop sulking, put on your big boy pants and read that damn note. You might just learn something.”
I stopped dead in my tracks in the middle of the kitchen, “Did you read it?” I was so shocked I didn't know what more to say.
“No, good grief Jacob. Neither Charlie nor I have read it. But the fact that she sent it in the first place is all I needed to know.”
I pulled my chair out and slumped into it, “I can't believe this.” I said shaking my head.
“Come on Jacob, she needs you and I know you need her too.”
“But that's the problem Dad, I need her far more than she needs me. I can't go back to being the friend she wants me to be, too much has happened.”
“Wouldn't her friendship be better than nothing at all?”
“I don't know. What would be the point?”
“And I think she needs you even more than you need her, she just doesn't realize it.”
“I know.” I looked up and I could see the note shouting at me from the living room floor. “I can't deal with this right now, I'm going for a walk.” I said as I stood from the table.
“Okay. Hey there is a bucket of fish outside, would you mind bringing them in.”
“Sure, sure.” I said as I got up and walked outside grabbed the bucket and brought inside next to the kitchen sink. “I'll be back before too late.”
As I stepped outside I could see the sun start to descend and I knew it would be slipping away into darkness soon. I walked over to the beach and listened to the waves come and lick my feet before receding back into the ocean. My mind was a mess, I didn't know what to do about Bella. Why was a friendship with me so important to her if she wasn't planning on giving up Edward and her desire to be one of them? I did the best I could to avoid thinking about that last part, how her skin would ice over, her beautiful heart would no longer beat, and her chocolate brown eyes would be lost forever.
A silent tear slipped out of the corner of my eye and my heart ached at the possibility of Bella being my enemy. The instinct to attack and kill would spread through my body regardless of the face that stood before me. I felt helpless as I sat down in the rough sand, laying flat on my back as I watched the sun continue to slip away. I felt someone come and sit beside me, but I didn't bother to turn my head to see who it was, instead I just watched as the sky filled with blazing oranges and pinks until slowly the colors slipped away into black.
I felt a hand, small and cold, settle itself into my own. For a second I didn't move, had Bella driven out here? I had never known Bella to be this silent, and I'm sure she would have had plenty to say if she were here. Also I knew Bella's scent by heart and this was very different. I could smell sweat mixed with a sweet apple smell, like a lotion or perfume. I lightly moved my hand and could feel the delicate fingers and my thumb rubbed the soft skin at the wrist, it felt so different that I had no idea who's hand it could be. Slowly out of curiosity I turned my head and saw the dark russet skin and hazel eyes that I knew to belong to Jackie.
I laid my head back down and relaxed my hand, which she didn't let go of, and looked out across the night sky. “What are you doing?” I asked.
“You just looked so lonely.”
“Did it ever occur to you that I wanted to be alone?”
“Yes.” She took a deep breathe. “Something has happened to you Jake, and it scares me sometimes.” Her voice trembled some and I looked at her arms covered in goosebumps. She had a tight sleeveless shirt, matching pink and brown pants, and running shoes, I guess she had been running along the beach when she found me.
I brought my hands to my side, making her drop mine, and pushed myself to a sitting position brought her to my side. “Where's your jacket?” I could feel her cold arm against my hot skin and brought my hand around to her other arm.
“In my car, I get really hot when I run so I don't usually need it. I didn't exactly plan on being out so late.”
“Oh.” It was painfully obvious that I was the reason that she was still here and I didn't really know what I thought of that. Jackie was a nice girl when she wasn't spreading rumors about our romance, a romance that was about as real as the Easter Bunny. She had kissed me once in the school parking lot, I didn't kiss her back so it didn't really count as a real kiss, however no matter what I said no one believed me that nothing was going on. I knew it was bad when even Quil and Embry thought I was holding out on them and keeping it a secret from them. Truth be told there was nothing to tell, other than today the only times I saw Jackie was at school and these days the pack pretty much stayed to ourselves.
I heard Jackie take a deep sigh and felt her body relax so that her head rested on my chest. “You're really hot Jake.”
I couldn't help but chuckle. “Thanks.”
She lifted her head and smacked me in the chest with her hand. “Not like that, you dork. Well maybe that is true too.” She ducked her head embarrassed. “But that wasn't what I meant.”
“Sure, sure. It's no big deal.”
“Why are you so hot? You're not sick are you?” She asked as she reached her hand out to probably touch my forehead.
I leaned out of the way. “No I'm not sick. The heat is just genetic, just part of who I am.”
“Your dad's not this hot.”
“Glad you think so.”
She just rolled her eyes. “Ha, ha. Okay, I admit I walked right into that one.”
“The heat skipped his generation, and my mom's family had this issue as well.” We were both silent for a moment, and I hoped that explanation was good enough. “And speaking of my dad, I need to be heading home.”
We each got up and brushed the sand from our legs and back side. “Do you need me to walk with you to your car?” La Push was a pretty safe area, but I thought it would be rude to just leave her there.
“Sure, thanks.” She said with a smile.
Her car wasn't far and we walked in silence. I watched as she unlocked her door and I waved 'goodbye' as she climbed in.
What an unexpected evening this has turned out to be. When I got home I helped dad get to bed, neither of us speaking and I crawled into bed shortly after. The note was still on the living room floor exactly where it had landed and stayed there for two days, neither of us wanted to touch it. However the longer it stayed there the bigger it seemed to grow, soon it would fill up the whole living room.
Finally as I was eating breakfast before school, dad wheeled himself in to watch some TV as he straddled his chair over the note he had had enough. “Jacob pick up that note or I will. And if it is still there I'm reading it this time.”
I glared at him as I finished my last bite of cereal and placed the bowl in the sink. I went to the bathroom, brushed my teeth, and then gathered my books placing them in my backpack for school. As I walked back in, I planned to simply walk right out the door until I saw my dad with the note open on his lap. “What the crap Dad?”
“Hey, I warned you fair and square. If you didn't want to know what she had to say, that is your problem, but I sure as hell did.”
“I can't believe you.” I walked over and yanked it from his lap and shoved it in my backpack and walked out the door making sure that it slammed loudly behind me. I knew he hated it when I slammed the door and I could hear him grumbling inside.
He totally deserved it noisy old man. I never dreamed he was serious with his threat, but I knew I should have. He never has handled secrets very well. I approached Quil and Embry who were both waiting for me at Embry's house, I hoped that they would be able to see my irritation and just let it go, but I guess nothing was going my way today.
“Hey Jake!” Embry called.
“Hey.” I answered sourly.
“Dude Jacob, what crawled inside your pants and died?” Quil snickered.
“Ohhhh.” They both said together.
“Are you still ignoring her calls?” Quil asked.
“What did she do this time?” Embry asked.
“She sent a freaking note from her dad, to mine, to me!”
Quil clutched his stomach and started laughing so hard he almost tripped. “Man, that is awesome.” Quil stammered once he could breathe again.
“You are seriously messed up.” I said shaking my head.
“So what did the note say?” Embry asked.
“You'll have to ask my dad, he's the one who read it.” This time is was Embry's turn to almost fall over laughing.
“Why haven't you read it?” Quil asked.
“If I wanted to know what she had to say I would answer the damn phone, not pretend I was in 2nd grade.” I gave a frustrated sigh.
These guys knew my frustration with Bella more than anyone. Despite my best intention I couldn't help but have her on my mind each and every time we patrolled and they probably wanted me to move on. Or at least settle things so that I could pretend to move on, having Bella tangling in the air wasn't good on anyone. However, I couldn't think of anything that she could possibly have to say to me.
We made it to class and as I pulled out my stuff from my backpack I saw the crumbled note buried deep inside, calling to me, begging to be heard. I know I was being stubborn and stupid, but I couldn't handle feeling the hope that she still cared about me or the pain of knowing it was really over. Finally by 3rd period I had had enough and I couldn't take it any longer, so when I pulled out my books and notepad I reluctantly pulled out Bella's note. I smoothed out the ruffled edges.
Please, Jacob talk to me! There has got to be something that I can do. I'm sorry, I know that it hurts you that I am friends with the Cullens, but they are part of my life too. You are my very best friend and I know that we can make this work. I miss you and I need to figure out a way to be your friend as well, if you would only just talk to me, please Jake, please.
After reading the note, I knew I should respond. There is just something so personal about hand written words that is so much harder to ignore. Maybe it was because it was such a physical reminder, as soon as the phone stops ringing than your window of conversation is over, but with a note that window never closes. I flipped to the next page of my notebook and started to write.
What were you thinking! I do not want to talk to you.
No that wasn't really what I wanted to say and I ripped the page from my notebook and it made a loud tearing sound and everyone stared at me, including my teacher who stopped and looked confused.
“I'm sorry. I won't do that again.” I stammered.
I don't know why you're making Charlie carry notes to Billy like we're in second grade – if I wanted to talk to you I would answer the . . . Well that wasn't really what I wanted to say either, but instead of ripping the page out, I just crossed it out, and tried again.
You made the choice here, okay? You can't have it both ways when . . . It is not like she could have us both she needed to understand that.
What part of 'mortal enemies' is too complicated for you to . . . I had been writing so hard that I broke the tip of my pen and ink leaked over the page.
Look, I know I'm being a jerk, but there's just no way around . . . Dammit it was no longer just the tip that broke as the pen shattered between my fingers. I grumbled to myself as I reached inside my backpack for another pen, making sure that I didn't hold it quite so tightly.
We can't be friends when you're spending all your time with a bunch of . . . Oops should probably stop there, she hates when I use the terms 'bloodsuckers' or 'leeches' to describe her 'friends'.
It just makes it worse when I think about you too much, so don't write anymore . . . Nothing I could think of was coming out the way I wanted it to.
Yeah, I miss you, too. A lot. Doesn't change anything. Sorry.
Angrily I put a dark black line through every word I had written, I was afraid that my arm would start shaking and give away the pain and anger that I felt. I got to the last line and I just couldn't mark it out, the truth of the words sprung from the page. So I simply added my name to the bottom and folded it. I was about to put both notes back in my backpack when the bell rang and Quil leaped from his desk grabbed Bella's note and sprinted out the door.
Quil was going to be one dead dog by the time I got to him as I sprung from my desk to follow him down the hall.
“Oh come on Jake, you know we all were going to know what it says anyways.” Embry tried to reason with. “This will just save you from having to think of it later.”
“That is so not the point Em.”
Embry and I caught up with Quil in the cafeteria with a huge tray of food looking completely innocent, like there was no reason for me to punch him in the nose. He was very wise to remain in a public place otherwise I certainly would have. The rest of the day was uneventful, Quil grew a conscious (black and blue in color) and gave me the note back before walking to my house.
We had an afternoon snack, that would probably be two full meals for a normal person, and then hung out in the garage. I was still in a pretty sour mood, but thankfully they chose to ignore me and just let me sulk. The best of friends knew when to push you on an issue and when to let it go, and these guys were the best.
At dinner Dad apologized for invading my privacy with the note and I easily accepted, but I could still feel the tension between us. Bella had become a thick cloud hanging over both our heads and I knew it would burst at any moment, I just wasn't sure what the damage would be once it started. As I got Dad ready for bed I placed my note back to Bella on his dresser.
“This is my response to Bella, you can read it if you want to, I don't care. I won't reply to another one so if another comes, read it, burn it, whatever, but don't give it to me. I'm done.”
I saw the sadness mixed with understanding in his eyes as I walked out the door. I just wish that my heart would be as “done” as my brain was. I hated the powerful affect that she still had over me, but I was going to simply take one day at a time and keep putting one foot in front of the other. I would make my dad proud and continue to serve the pack to the best of my ability.
- For starters there will not be near as many 'facts' for Eclipse because truthfully there aren't as many. SM has never written a summary for Eclipse, so this will be largely my interpretation. However I really liked having a place to explain where I got my ideas, and I do feel that my interpretation is surrounded by facts.
- The last comment that SM made in her summary of NM was that Jacob left to inform his brothers so that they could prepare for war with the Cullens.
- Jacob's concern about Alice seeing them make decisions, at this point they do not know that she cannot see the wolves. Jacob learns that later in Eclipse.
- Jackie's character is completely fictional. I really like the idea of Jacob having someone to talk to who doesn't know anything and can't be inside his head, so she will pop up from time to time. If Jacob has enough self control to be friends with Bella than he also has enough self control to be friends with someone who is not in the pack.
- Jacob's sense of humor with Jackie is based on BD, if Jacob was still able to be funny while Bella was dying (blond jokes with Rosalie, some banter with Leah) than I think he would have been able to be funny here as well.
- Also my chapter titles may not be the same as Eclipse titles, unless I feel that it lines up well for that particular chapter.
I wasn't sure where to put this song in this story, but I felt like it needed to be there so I'm adding it now. ENJOY
I couldn't decide so this one gets two songs
Chapter 15 – PREPARATION
As soon as the training session was complete I went home and crashed. Though it was extremely relaxing to have Bella curled up on my side, running her hand through my fur, I wouldn't allow myself to fall asleep. I wanted to spend as much time as possible with her, and maybe Bella wanted the same because she didn't fall asleep either, but relaxed comfortably at my side.
Once I was finally able to sleep I had multiple dreams of the fight that was coming. At times everything went perfectly and it was over so quickly that it was almost boring. Other times I saw Edward and myself fighting, but instead of each other it was side by side actually working together. The last was seeing Victoria with her wild red hair crouching towards Bella, while Seth was distracted, and she took Bella with her into the woods never to be seen again.
I awoke with a shudder and knew I needed to find Seth immediately. Sam wanted to have some fight training today and I knew that Seth had just found his new partner, Me. I was going to make sure that he was ready for anything that could possibly happen while he was guarding Bella. After biting and hitting him several times he finally was able to read my body language, I even fought him human a few times so he could see what it would like to be fighting something on two legs instead of four.
Surprisingly he seemed to have even a harder time with me human. “Come on Seth, you should be able to hit me easier now.” He lowered his head and whined. “Don't give me that crap! Hit me!!”
We danced around each other, but he still wasn't really trying to get me, he quickly phased and sat on the ground. “I don't want to hurt you, Jake.”
“You can attack me as a wolf, but not when I'm human.”
“That is the thing, when you're human . . . you're weaker.” He flinched knowing that I was going to be pissed that he said that.
I growled. “Just because I look human, does not make me weak. And remember those filthy leeches will look human as well. You have to know how to attack something on two legs.”
“Alright, alright.” Seth huffed and phased back and we circled around each other and the rest of the time Seth was able to get some solid hits in and I phased back as well before he could seriously hurt me.
Leah helped as well, she did not like the idea that her brother was going to be alone and on his own, so also wanted to make sure he was fully prepared. It worked great when Leah and I would both be human and he had to defend against us both. He didn't handle attacking his sister well at all, but at least it worked to help him work on his defense skills. We picked a large rock to be Bella and we would try to get to it and for him not to allow us, Leah was still amazing fast even as human and could jump on his back and when distracted with her I would usually be able to get to the rock. Sometimes it was more successful, Seth would throw Leah to the ground, and be able to stop me in time.
The longer we practiced the better Seth got and by the end of the day I felt confident that he knew what he was doing. We were starving and went to Emily's for food, she really out did herself with massive amounts of roasted chicken, bbq ribs, baked beans, corn, and potato salad. I have never seen more food in one place, but the whole pack was eating together tonight and so it would be gone quickly. Sam was giving us the day off tomorrow making sure that everyone would be well rested and healed from any injuries received while training today.
I went home, helped Dad get his fishing gear ready for his day with Charlie. They were going to spend the day together with Old Quil's boat here on the reservation. After getting Dad ready for bed I went straight to sleep myself. I knew that we were ready for the fight and my dreams agreed, however instead of dreams of fighting I had dreams of Bella.
My dreams were frantic not staying on any one thing for very long, however perfectly represented the urgency of being with Bella. I knew that my time with her was coming to an end, unless I could do something to change her mind. I have tried loving her with everything that I have, I openly placed my feelings before her so that there would be no confusion on my side, but it didn't do any good. If only Bella would do the same, let her feelings be open, and really be honest with herself, she needed to know her real feelings for me before it was too late.
By the time I woke up it was mid afternoon and so I had a huge meal, filling myself more than ever before, knowing that my next few meals were going to be raw. Dad stayed at the house and ate with me as well.
“Are you guys ready?” Billy asked.
“Yeah, I really think we are.” I answered as I took my last bite.
“Please be careful out there Jacob. This is something that our tribe has never encountered before.”
“The group of newborns? Or us working with the Cullens?”
“Both. I know it has to be done, but it makes me nervous. I wish that there was more that I could do.”
“You will be watching Charlie, and I know that there isn't anyone that Bella trusts more than you for that responsibility.”
“Yeah, I'm sure that is right.”
“Well I need to head out.” I looked into my father's eyes and for the first time I saw fear mixed with helplessness. Being disabled has never made him seem helpless, he continued to be the rock and support of my family and our tribe despite that difficulty. I hated seeing him so unsure and he really didn't want me to go.
“Come here Jake.” He rolled away from the table and I knelt down beside his chair, placing my hands on his knees. His hands rested around my face and I leaned so that we were eye to eye. “Libiti olli xaxiktiya, xw pa, hachli ho.”
“I will, I promise.” I reached over, wrapped my arms around his neck, and we hung tightly to each other.
“I love you, son,” his voice was rough from fear and worry.
“I love you too, Dad.” He gave me a final pat on the shoulder and I stood to walk out the door. I opened it and I could feel the pressure outside, a storm was coming and I could feel it was going to be big.
I turned back to the hall closet and grabbed a parka, and Dad gave me a questioning look. “It's for Bella in case she isn't prepared for the storm coming.”
“I see. Take care of yourself.”
I ran to the clearing and slipped on my shorts as I saw Edward and Bella walking hand in hand across the clearing.
“Where are we meeting Jacob?” Bella asked.
“Right here.” Edward gestured toward the trees right as I stepped through them.
I crossed my arms over my bare chest and held on to the jacket that I had brought for Bella in my fists, I was excited about having this opportunity to be with Bella, it has been a while since I have actually spent some alone time with her. I thought of how she would feel in my arms and her body being pressed to my chest.
“There had to be a better way to do this.” Edward frowned.
“Too late now,” Bella muttered back, and Edward sighed. Damn, could these two seem any less excited to see me. “Hey, Jake,” Bella greeted me as they got closer.
“Hello, Jacob,” Edward acknowledged.
He is such a freak, I just want to know where to take her so that he will leave. “Where do I take her?”
Edward pulled a map from the side pocket of his pack and handed it to me. I unfolded it.
“We're here now,” Edward said, and reached towards me on the right spot on the map. I recoiled from his hand, and then tried to steady myself. Dude, I have eyes I can see just fine. Edward continued completely ignoring my reaction to him, “and you're taking her up here,” he drew a line between the two places. “Roughly nine miles.”
I nodded once familiar with the area.
“When you're about a mile away, you should cross my path. That will lead you in. Do you need the map?”
“No, thanks. I know this area pretty well. I think I know where I'm going.” Lived here all my life remember?
“I'll take a longer route,” Edward said. “And I'll see you in a few hours.” He looked at Bella like he really didn't like the idea of leaving her.
“See you,” Bella murmured, and Edward took off into the trees going the other direction.
My mood brightened when he left, it was just so difficult trying to keep my control around him because my wolf keeps telling me to attack, and the jealousy in me wants to as well.
“What's up, Bella?” I asked with a big grin.
She rolled her eyes. “Same old, same old.”
“Yeah,” I agreed. “Bunch of vampires trying to kill you. The usual.”
“Well,” it didn't seem that she needed the jacket right now so I slipped my arms through it so I wouldn't have to carry it. “Let's get going.”
Bella made an unhappy face, and took a small step closer to me. I still found it really annoying how she was so timid around me in my human form. I bent down and swept my arm behind her knees knocking them out from under her and easily caught her with my other hand before she would hit the ground.
“Jerk,” Bella muttered.
I chuckled, knowing that I deserved that, and began running through the trees. I kept a steady pace at a brisk jog, barely noticing her weight in my arms as I went.
“You don't have to run. You'll get tired.”
“Running doesn't make me tired,” I said. My breathing was even and I hadn't really thought about the fact that I probably should have been breathing hard. “Besides, it will be colder soon. I hope he gets the camp set up before we get there.”
She brushed her hand against the thick parka. “I thought you didn't get cold now.”
“I don't. I brought this for you, just in case you weren't prepared.” I looked at her jacket, annoyed that I was wearing it instead of her. “I don't like the way the weather feels. It's making me edgy. Notice how we haven't seen any animals?” I had really become more aware of nature since I became part of it, I could easily feel the change in weather, especially as a wolf.
“Um, not really.” Bella responded.
“I guess you wouldn't. Your senses are too dull.”
“Alice was worried about the storm, too.”
“It takes a lot to silence the forest this way. You picked a hell of a night for a camping trip.”
“It wasn't entirely my idea.”
That was a good point. I continued to climb up the mountain leaping easily from rock to rock, her bracelet moved as I sprinted along and I saw a diamond heart added to it. That didn't take long and thought it was weird that she had something so quickly added, maybe she just already had it. “What's with the addition to your bracelet?” I asked.
She looked down at it and then shrugged, trying to hide her guilt. “Another graduation present.”
Just when I didn't think that Edward could be more insecure he had to add something to a present that was given by me. If he wanted to give her something he should have gotten his own instead of piggy backing onto mine. Besides, who just happens to have huge diamonds lying around?
I snorted. “A rock. Figures.” Once again she looked down at the bracelet looking at it like she hadn't really seen it before now. “So it's been a while since you came down to La Push,” I said bringing her focus back to myself.
“I've been busy,” she told me. “And . . . I probably wouldn't have visited, anyway.”
Ouch, that hurt, I grimaced. “I thought you were supposed to be the forgiving one, and I was the grudge-holder.” She simply shrugged, not saying any more. “Been thinking about that last time a lot, have you?” I challenged.
I laughed. “Either you're lying, or you are the stubbornest person alive.”
“I don't know about the second part, but I'm not lying.”
I shifted her weight slightly so that I could see her face better and brought my own closer to hers. “A smart person looks at all sides of a decision.”
“I have,” she retorted.
“If you haven't thought at all about our . . . er, conversation the last time you came over, then that's not true.” She should know better than to try lying to me.
“That conversation isn't relevant to my decision.”
How on earth could it not be relevant? It is everything! “Some people will go to any lengths to delude themselves.”
“I've noticed that werewolves in particular are prone to that mistake – do you think it's a genetic thing?”
“Does that mean that he's a better kisser than I am?” I asked, knowing that it would really suck for that to be true.
“I really couldn't say, Jake. Edward is the only person I've ever kissed.”
“But I don't count that as a kiss, Jacob. I think of it more as an assault.”
“Ouch!” I really hope she was exaggerating. “That's cold.” She shrugged, not taking her words back, which hurt even more. “I did apologize about that,” I reminded her.
“And I forgave you . . . mostly. It doesn't change the way I remember it.”
She was totally ruining the way that I remembered it, I didn't want to admit that she had been resisting me the whole time.
We were both quiet for a while lost in our own thoughts. I didn't feel like I was making any progress in helping her to realize that she was making the worst mistake of her life by staying with Edward. I kept trying to think of something else that I could do, but I kept coming back to kissing her again, that didn't go over well the first time, unless of course she asked me to kiss her that would be fantastic.
“I still think it's pretty irresponsible,” I suddenly said, breaking the silence.
“Whatever you're talking about, you're wrong.”
“Think about it, Bella. According to you, you've kissed just one person – who isn't even really a person – in your whole life, and you're calling it quits? How do you know that's what you want? Shouldn't you play the field a little?”
“I know exactly what I want,” she said evenly.
“Then it couldn't hurt to double check. Maybe you should try kissing someone else – just for comparison's sake . . . since what happened the other day doesn't count. You could kiss me, for example. I don't mind if you want to use me to experiment.” Yeah, I know that was pathetic and lame, and in case she still wasn't getting the message I pulled her into my chest bringing her face closer to mine, and smiled down at her.
“Don't mess with me, Jake. I swear I won't stop him if he wants to break your jaw.”
Her voice faltered and I could hear the panic there and so I knew that I was getting to her, causing me to smile wider. “If you ask me to kiss you, he won't have any reason to get upset. He said that was fine.”
“Don't hold your breath, Jake – no, wait, I changed my mind. Go right ahead. Just hold your breath until I ask you to kiss me.”
“You're in a bad mood today.”
“I wonder why?”
“Sometimes I think you like me better as a wolf.”
“Sometimes I do. It probably has something to do with the way you can't talk.”
What a load of crap, it has nothing to do with not being able to speak and everything to do with me not being a man when I am a wolf. I pursed my lips debating on whether to call her on it and figured why not. “No, I don't think that's it. I think it's easier for you to be near me when I'm not human, because you don't have to pretend that you're not attracted to me.”
Her mouth fell open like she was insulted or surprised, not sure which, however her irritation became clear as she ground her teeth together. It was easy to see that she was over reacting to that comment which seemed to show how true it was and I smiled triumphantly.
She took a slow breath. “No. I'm pretty sure it's because you can't talk.”
I sighed. “Do you ever get tired of lying to yourself? You have to know how aware you are of me. Physically, I mean.” I just hope that she wasn't going to try and deny it again.
“How could anyone not be aware of you physically, Jacob?” She demanded. “You're an enormous monster who refuses to respect anyone else's personal space.”
She was completely missing the point. “I make you nervous. But only when I'm human. When I'm a wolf, you're more comfortable around me.”
“Nervousness and irritation are not the same thing.”
I stared down at her amazed that she was so blind to the danger that surrounded her, but even more blind to myself even though she clearly stared back at me. My mind was a mess not knowing what I should do, I slowed down the pace to think, but I knew I needed to get her to shelter so I picked up the pace again. I wondered if she would really have Edward fight me if I were to kiss her again, I brought my face closer to hers once again testing the waters to see what she would do.
She just looked right back at me, not moving closer or further away either. “It's your face,” she reminded me.
I laughed loudly and started jogging again. “I don't really want to fight with your vampire tonight – I mean, any other night, sure. But we both have a job to do tomorrow, and I wouldn't want to leave the Cullens one short.” Her face suddenly changed and she seemed hurt from my statement. “I know, I know,” I responded. “You think he could take me.” She was thinking about this way too seriously, I wasn't sure if she was worried about myself hurting Edward or about him hurting me, but she was clearly very disturbed and I wanted to make her feel better. “What's the matter with you, Bella? If something I said upset you, you know I was only kidding. I didn't mean anything – ” I was really getting worried because she still looked really freaked out, maybe even guilty, like she might cry. “Hey, are you okay? Don't cry, Bella,” I pled.
“I'm not going to cry.” She said, while trying to pull herself together.
“What did I say?”
“It's nothing you said. It's just, well, it's me. I did something . . . bad.” I was really confused, I couldn't think of anything that she could have done that she would need to feel so guilty over. “Edward isn't going to fight tomorrow,” she whispered her explanation. “I'm making him stay with me. I am a huge coward.”
I frowned, really concerned that it was more serious than I knew about. “You think this isn't going to work? That they'll find you here? Do you know something I don't know?”
“No, no. I' not afraid of that. I just . . . I can't let him go. If he didn't come back . . .” she shuddered and closed her eyes.
I felt like I was going to be sick that she was so wrapped up in him, she has survived loosing him before and I knew she would survive loosing him again, I would make sure of it. I knew better than to say anything so I just waited for her to continue.
“If anyone gets hurt, it will always be my fault. And even if no one does . . . I was horrible. I had to be, to convince him to stay with me. He won't hold it against me, but I'll always know what I'm capable of.”
Good God, what could she possible have over him? I hated seeing her so dependent on him, he may not be a leech attached to her body, but he was still sucking the life out of her. What happened to the girl who would pick herself up again when she crashed her motorcycle not letting anything stop her? “I can't believe he let you talk him out of going. I wouldn't miss this for anything.”
She sighed. “I know.”
I didn't mean that the way it came out. “That doesn't mean anything though. That doesn't mean that he loves you more than I do.”
“But you wouldn't stay with me, even if I begged.”
Damn, why does she know me so well? I wanted to deny it, but she would have known I was lying, Bella knew me too well for me to try lying to her. “That's only because I know you better. Everything's going to go without a hitch. Even if you'd asked and I'd said no, you wouldn't be mad at me afterwards.”
“If everything does go without a hitch, you're probably right. I wouldn't be mad. But the whole time you're gone, I'll be sick with worry, Jake. Crazy with it.”
“Why?” I asked gruffly. “Why does it matter to you if something happens to me?”
“Don't say that. You know how much you mean to me. I'm sorry it's not the way you want, but that's just how it is. You're my best friend. At least, you used to be. And still sometimes are . . . when you let your guard down.”
I wish she knew that the guard was for my own protection not against her, I knew how badly she could hurt me, but she was worth that risk. I smiled at her, filled with all the love that I felt for her and the memory of the friendship that we have shared. “I'm always that,” I promised. “Even when I don't . . . behave as well as I should. Underneath, I'm always in here.”
“I know. Why else would I put up with all your crap?”
We laughed together, talking about the way things used to be once again I could see the love that she has for me reflected in her eyes. “When are you finally going to figure out that you're in love with me, too?”
“Leave it to you to ruin the moment.”
“I'm not saying you don't love him. I'm not stupid. But it's possible to love more than one person at a time, Bella. I've seen it in action.”
“I'm not some freaky werewolf, Jacob.”
At the same moment we came across Edward's path and I could smell him in the area, it was disgusting and I wrinkled my nose. “We're not far now, I can smell him.”
She sighed and leaned further against me.
“I'd happily slow down, Bella, but you're going to want to be under shelter before that hits.”
We both looked up at the sky and a solid wall of purple-black clouds were coming towards us darkening everything in it's path.
“Wow,” Bella muttered. “You'd better hurry, Jake. You'll want to get home before it gets here.”
“I'm not going home.”
She glared at me. “You're not camping with us.”
That would be weird. “Not technically – as in, sharing your tent or anything. I prefer the storm to the smell. But I'm sure your bloodsucker will want to keep in touch with the pack for coordination purposes, and so I will graciously provide that service.”
“I thought that was Seth's job.”
“He'll take over tomorrow, during the fight.”
She looked at me and I could see that she was still really worried about the fight tomorrow. “I don't suppose there's any way you'd just stay since you're already here?” she suggested. “If I did beg? Or trade back the lifetime of servitude or something?”
“Tempting, but no.” Unless I thought that her leaving Edward counted as 'servitude', probably not. “Then again, the begging might be interesting to see. You can give it a go if you like.”
“There's really nothing, nothing at all I can say?”
“Nope. Not unless you can promise me a better fight. Anyways, Sam's calling the shots, not me.”
“Edward told me something the other day . . . about you.”
I didn't like Edward talking about me, I can't imagine that he would have anything even remotely good to say. “It's probably a lie.”
“Oh, really? You aren't second in command of the pack, then?”
I had no idea that Edward had gotten that from reading the pack thoughts, it made me wonder what other information he received. I didn't really want to talk about that I was suppose to be Alpha, but gave the responsibility to Sam. I was worried that she would think less of me, like I evaded my responsibility, but she was really persistent. She seemed understanding that I never wanted to be in the pack, and had no desire to lead it.
“Chief Jacob,” she whispered and smiled at me.
I rolled my eyes, silly girl. Suddenly the wind shook violently through the trees and the heavy clouds settled over us. I picked up the pace and held her more securely to my chest as she allowed my body to shelter her from the snow that began to fall.
- The fight training between Jacob and Seth is to help him not completely freak out when Victoria and Riley come there. He has got to be able to remain focused on the battle HE is in and he can't do that unless he trusts Seth to keep Bella safe.
- What did Billy say to Jacob? “Libiti olli xaxiktiya, xw pa, hachli ho.” All the words there are from the Quileute language, however I do not really know how sentence structure works. So basically Billy tells Jacob “strong you are today, return to me well.” -- Take care of your self and come back to me well.
You know i actually had a tear in my eye when jacob and billy were saying goodbye.
Love. this. chapter. (:
I'm glad that you liked the songs, I thought they went well for the chapter. I enjoy "fleshing out" SM story with added details from Jacob's life, that is one of my favorite things about writing this story. The "extras" in this chapter I feel came together really well.
I am also looking forward to the tent scene, it will certainly be an interesting chapter for Jacob.