This is NM from Jacob's pov (and a little from Billy). My goal is to stay true to Stephenie's story so there will be no major different from her plot to mine. I also should say that all conversations where Bella is present will be directly quoted from SM (or summarized). I am not trying to change the story but simply add Jacob's side of the story. So lets get started.
Disclaimer - All character belong to Stephenie Meyers. This is New Moon as she wrote it, simply from Jacob's POV, so any conversation that Bella is present for will be directly quoted from the book. No copy write infringement is intended.
Chapter 1 - CHEATER
Saturdays were the best, I could do anything that I wanted to do, except for sleep in. Dad always needed my help getting into his clothes and starting the day. I don't mind, he was always real patient with me and would usually sit in his bed and read until I woke up and got him ready. I left the warm comfort of my sheets and raised my arms above my head to stretch. There was a loud crack as I stretched my back and it felt great. I grabbed a random pair of jeans and shirt and went to my dad's room. After getting him out of bed, I left him to use the restroom and brush his teeth. He was a very strong man and could lift himself from his chair and back again when needed.
I walked into the kitchen and got two bowls of cereal, one for myself and one for dad, poured them with shredded wheat, and added milk. I used to love frosted flakes but with dad's diabetes it was just easier if we both ate the same foods and the sugary cereals had to go.
Dad got two spoons out of the drawer and rolled over to the table. I carried the bowls and sat one down in front of him and I sat in the chair across the table from him.
“So Jacob, what will you be doing today?” Billy asked.
“I don't know, probably just work on the Rabbit. Why did you need something?”
“Nope. However your room is a disaster you should probably clean that up.” I took a deep sigh and realized he was right. I was not even sure if the clothes I wore were clean or dirty, the piles had sort of blended together into a disastrous mess.
We sat in comfortable silence and finished our cereal and then dad rolled into the living room, turning on the TV while I poured myself another bowl of cereal. After finishing I went to the sink washed mine and Dad's bowl before heading to my room. I decided it was time to do laundry. I gathered all my clothes from my room and stopped by my Dad's to gather his as well. Dad and I had a good system, I would put it in the wash and then transfer it over the dryer. Dad would take it out, fold it, and put it away. We were a good team.
Three loads later I was sitting on the couch, waiting for the last one to finish in the wash desperate to go to the the garage where I really wanted to be. When I heard a sound that I knew I would never forget. It was loud as it huffed and puffed and I knew it was the truck that belonged to Bella Swan. I could remember working on the engine of that truck and there would never be another sound like it. Instantly I thought something was wrong with it and Charlie had brought it over for repairs. I peaked out the window and saw only Bella.
I was so excited to know that Bella had come here, until I saw Bella's face through the window. She looked absolutely awful. She was so skinny that I felt I could see her bones through her clothes, her face was extremely white except for the large dark circles under each eye. I had heard Billy talking to Charlie and so I knew that Bella was not doing well but I had no idea how bad it was until I saw her.
Despite her sad appearance I was still excited that she came. I jumped from the couch and half ran out the door, trying to act calmly. I had a huge crush on Bella and while I guessed that my dad already knew I didn't exactly want to make it so obvious with him in the same room. But despite my attempts I couldn't get the silly smile off, it was always plastered to my face any time Bella's name came up. For her to actually be right outside my front door, it was too much for me to handle and I had to move quickly. I stepped outside and hoped off the porch towards her truck when Bella's eyes finally looked up at my.
“Bella!” I shouted, I just could not contain my excitement.
“Hey, Jacob!” Bella said with a hint of excitement and a weak smile. Though it was small I could tell it was real.
“You grew again!” she said amazed.
“Six five” I answered, I couldn't help but be proud of my size. Though it was embarrassing to be so uncoordinated, it just felt like my body was growing so fast I barely could keep up with myself.
“Is it ever going to stop? You're huge.” Bella shook her head like she could not believe it.
“Still a beanpole, though” Growing so fast I just couldn't put on the weight like my friends and it made me feel skinny and awkward.
Suddenly I realized that it was raining and she would probably like to come inside. “Come inside! You're getting all wet.”
I turned around and she followed me towards the house. My long hair matted to my face from the rain so I reached for the band in my pocket and pulled it back without thinking, it was simply a habit. I opened the door and ducked as I entered the house. I remembered the first time I hit my head on the door frame, I was late for school and ran out the door, I couldn't believe that I had grown that tall.
“Hey, Dad” I called. “Look who stopped by.”
I noticed that the TV had been turned off and a book was in his hand. Was he watching us from the window? I swear him and Charlie gossip more than any grown men should, but I never really thought he would spy on me. All of a sudden I was extremely nervous that he would embarrass me. He sat the book in his lap and wheeled himself towards us, reaching out to take Bella's hand.
“Well, what do you know! It's good to see you, Bella. What brings you out here? Everything okay with Charlie?”
One of the few times that I was glad to have my dad in the room. He was able to ask these questions without it coming across as desperate or rude. I wanted to know the answer to those questions so badly but I didn't have the courage to ask her.
“Yes, absolutely. I just wanted to see Jacob – I haven't seen him in forever.”
I did not think I could be happier. Bella was standing in my house and now to know that it had nothing to do with her father or my father, but rather it was to see ME! The smile that was plastered to my face stretched to a whole new level. I wanted to be embarrassed but I was too happy to care.
“Can you stay for dinner?” Billy asked.
“No, I've got to feed Charlie, you know.”
“I'll call him now,” Billy suggested. “He's always invited.”
“It's not like you'll never see me again.” She promised. “I'll be back again soon – so much you'll get sick of me.” Bella said with a nervous laugh. I do not think she had any idea that it was not possible for me to get sick of her, but it might be interesting to see what she came up with to try and make that a reality.
Billy gave me a quick wink, so quick that I almost missed it and I know there was no way that Bella saw it. I knew that dad and I were real close, but I never in my dreams would have thought of him as my wing man. But there was something different, I quickly realized that this was not just for me, but also for his best friend. Charlie has been beside himself with worry over Bella and if Bella spending time with me would help Charlie then I knew my dad would help in any way he could.
Billy chuckled in response. “Okay, maybe next time.”
This was getting awkward quickly so I knew I had to do something. “So, Bella, what do you want to do?” It had been so long since my sisters lived here so I wasn't sure what kind of girl stuff we had available, and I had no idea what Bella might find interesting.
“Whatever. What were you doing before I interrupted?”
I really did not want to bore her with car stuff, and took a second to rack my brain to think of anything else more interesting. Coming up blank, I decided to just go with the truth. “I was just heading out to work on my car, but we can do something else. . .”
“No, that's perfect” Bella interrupted “I'd love to see your car.”
I couldn't believe that Bella would really want to see my car. She just looks too tiny to be interested in cars and such. “Okay, it's out back, in the garage.”
Was it just my imagination or did she seem to get more excited about that? It was like she wanted to be alone and isolated. We walked over to the garage in a comfortable silence. Bella walked in and looked the place over. I know to most people it wasn't much, but I loved this garage it was “my domain” and made me feel useful. Cars made sense to me there was a predictable rhythm to the engine and the parts worked together in a way that I understood. The oil and dirt that surrounded everything could be smelt at any time, it was fantastic.
“What kind of Volkswagen is that?” Bella asked.
“It's an old Rabbit – 1986, a classic.”
“How's it going?”
Suddenly I remembered the last time I saw Bella was at prom when my dad had bribed me with car parts and money to go and speak with her. I wondered if she remembered why I was there, it was so embarrassing but I wanted her to know that it was really all my dad's doing and I had nothing to do with that. “My dad made good on his promise last spring.”
Well that was awkward and at first I could not think of why she was so resistant. Then I remembered that she was at prom with Edward Cullen and clearly his memory was painful. I made a promise to myself to try and not say anything that would bring him into the conversation. I wanted to say something, but I didn't know what would break the promise I had just made to myself so I remained quiet.
“Jacob, what do you know about motorcycles?” Bella asked.
Well that seemed to come out of no where. “Some. My friend Embry has a dirt bike. We work on it together sometimes. Why?” I just could not figure out how we went from prom to motorcycles.
“Well. . .” Bella seemed to struggle with her words, not knowing what to say. “I recently acquired a couple of bikes, and they're not in the greatest condition. I wonder if you could get them running?
My goodness Bella is so adorable when she is nervous and I wanted to put her at ease. “Cool.” That was an understatement. I was so freaking excited. This was my chance to actually show skills that I am really good at to a girl that I was crazy about. How did I get so lucky? However, I did not want to seem overly confident. “I'll give it a try.”
Bella lifted her finger as to warn me. “The thing is, Charlie doesn't approve of motorcycles. Honestly, he'd probably bust a vein in his forehead if he knew about this. So you can't tell Billy.”
I didn't even have to think twice, this was an easy decision. “Sure, sure.” I smiled. “I understand.”
“I'll pay you,” Bella continued.
“No. I want to help. You can't pay me.” Was she crazy? She was volunteering to spend time with me and she wants to pay me, absolutely not, I couldn't help but be a little offended. I didn't want to be some “professional employee” that she paid to work on her motorcycles, I wanted to be her friend and maybe more if I was lucky.
“Well. . . how about a trade, then? I only need one bike – and I'll need lessons, too. So how about this? I'll give you the other bike, and then you can teach me.”
I swear this girl keeps getting better and better. I was so excited. “Swee-eet” I said with two syllables. Geez, I sound like I am in junior high, I hope that Bella didn't notice.
“Wait a sec – are you legal yet? When is your birthday?
Well crap it seems that she noticed. “You missed it, I'm sixteen.” I said with a teasing smile.
“Not that your age ever stopped you before,” she muttered. “Sorry about your birthday.”
“Don't worry about it. I missed yours. What are you, forty?”
Bella sniffed. “Close.”
“We'll have a joint party to make up for it.”
“Sounds like a date.”
Holy cow! Did Bella just suggest that we have a date? That was totally awesome, I would pinch myself but if that was a dream I never wanted to wake up.
“Maybe when the bikes are finished – our present to ourselves,” Bella added.
“Deal.” I could tell that she was trying to make the conversation more casual and I did not want her to be uncomfortable. “When will you bring them down?” Suddenly Bella bit her lip, looking really embarrassed. What did I say? Umm . . . why does Bella look so embarrassed?
“They're in my truck now.”
Well for all the things to be embarrassed about that was one I could certainly handle. It was turning out to be one of the best days ever “Great.”
“Will Billy see if we bring them around?”
Without thinking I winked at her and said “We'll be sneaky.”
I was beyond excited as we started heading towards her truck. Just to prove my sneakiness I stayed in the trees and made myself walk casually, part of me wanted to run but I knew that would draw Billy's attention. I walked around the truck, removing the tarp that covered them. For a second I wondered if I would be able to lift them on my own, they looked pretty sturdy. I cautiously lifted the first one and found it surprisingly light and put it on the ground. The second was a little heavier and I had to concentrate to set it down gently. I have enjoyed the added strength that I have had the past few months, but I was never more grateful for it until that day. I do not know what I would have done if I couldn't get the stupid bikes out of her truck.
Looking over the bikes they were in better condition that I thought they would be. “These aren't half bad.” We each pushed one into the cover that the trees provided. “This one here will actually be worth something when I'm done – it's an old Harley Sprint.”
“That one's yours, then.”
“Are you sure?”
I still didn't like the idea of accepting the more profitable bike. I started looking them over closely and could see that there was certainly some significant damage to them. “These are going to take some cash, though.” Maybe she will at least let me contribute money for parts. “We'll have to save up for parts first.”
“We nothing,” Bella disagreed. “If you're doing this for free, I'll pay for the parts.”
“I don't know. . .” Everything about this just felt wrong to me, but I didn't really have a good reason to argue with her.
“I've got some money saved. College fund, you know.”
I didn't know what to say so I just nodded my head. This was going to turn out to be the best thing that had ever happened to me. I got to spend time with Bella and show off my mad mechanical skills. Or possibly, this will be the death of me when Charlie killed me for endangering his daughter and spending her college fund. I simply thanked God that I was a teenage boy and no one would fault me if they were given the same situation. It's the code: When the girl of your dreams asks you for a favor - do what she says!
After Jacob and Bella walked out of the house I took a deep breath. Charlie was not kidding when he said that Bella was not doing well. I knew Charlie was not one for theatrics but I honestly did not know how to help him. Neither Rebecca nor Rachel had gone through anything like this and I said a silent prayer of thanks.
I rolled back into the living room prepared to watch some ESPN, not sure which game I would watch first. I loved all sports and was not really particular. As I settled in to watch the game the phone rang. I rolled back into the kitchen to answer the phone.
“Hello” I said trying to mask the mild irritation at being interrupted.
“Hey Billy, it's Sam”
“Hey Sam, how's it going?”
“Nothing too much, I was just wondering how Jacob was doing? I noticed he has grown quite a bit in the past few months.” Sam asked with a mixture of concern and curiosity.
“Yes he has grown fast. I am watching him closely, he has started eating more and I fear it will be affecting him soon.” Though I knew this was an honor, I was also scared for my son. Not experiencing this myself I didn't know what it would be like.
I remember the day I got the call from Quil Sr. that Sam had phased. It took us all by surprise even though it shouldn't have. When the Cullen's returned I became fearful of the affect that it would have on the youth of our tribe. All the council members were keeping a close eye on the male teenagers in the tribe. How Harry missed the signs of Sam's transformation was beyond me. Maybe he just didn't want to see it because he feared it would break his daughter's heart. After Sam, Jared, and Paul's transformation I thought maybe Jacob would be spared, legend only had 3-4 wolves at one time except for extreme circumstances.
“I'm sorry Billy, I figured this would come, but no one really wants it.” Sam replied with sympathy, bringing me back to the present.
“Thanks,” I said not really knowing what else to say.
“Billy what do I do if he phases? Won't he be the alpha?” Sam asked not sure if he will like the answer but knew he needed to ask.
“Look Sam, lets cross that bridge when we get there. I know that with our family heritage that Jacob's transformation will affect you greater than any of the others. I will do the best I can to keep you informed.” I really did not want to have this conversation but didn't want to be rude either.
“Thanks, Billy that will be a great help. Well I will let you get back to whatever you were doing” Sam quickly said, clearly trying to wrap up the phone call.
“Well you take care, I'll talk to you later Sam.”
Taking a deep breath I could see Jacob and Bella through the trees walking back to the garage. They each had something but I could not quite tell what it was, but I just hoped that Jacob would be able to help Bella through this rough time. And maybe, just maybe Bella would be what Jacob needed to get through his own rough time that would be quickly approaching.
- Billy is in a wheelchair due to nerve damage from diabetes. I honestly have no idea exactly how limited that makes him so what Billy is able to do on his own and what he can't is all my imagination.
- Jacob built the engine in Bella's truck.
- Jacob has a particular smile that Bella considers to be "hers".
- All conversations that Bella is present for will be either directly quoted or summarized.
- Charlie would call Billy looking for help with Bella, but Billy did not know what to do because Rebecca nor Rachel had gone through anything like this.
- Jacob admits to Bella that he does wash dishes at home, so I assume that he would have other chores as well.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I did some editing and unless you want to read the comments of other readers I would recommend going here for chapter 2.
Chapter 17 – VISTOR / FUNERAL (chapters combined)
I left Bella inside her truck and darted into the woods, took my clothes off and phased racing towards La Push. My mind was such a mess that neither Jared nor Embry had any idea what I was trying to tell them.
THE CULLENS ARE BACK! There is that clear enough for you idiots.
How do you know Jake? Embry asked.
I showed them Bella and I inside her truck and how she wanted to go back. Jacob, do you really think that you should have just left her there? Jared asked.
I felt myself growl. Look I didn't mean it like that. Jared clarified But we need more than just Bella's assumption that it is a Cullen inside her house.
I get that, but I couldn't stay there any longer. I was so frustrated that it wasn't safe for Bella, but also because I thought I couldn't be there. What was I suppose to do, walk her inside and hope I don't turn wolf in her living room and attack her 'friend'? Both of them cringed at the word. Not to mention break the treaty by attacking a Cullen.
I think you did the right thing Jake, lets meet up with Sam and figure out where we go from here. Embry encouraged.
He is still at the hospital and then we can go from there. Jared suggested.
Since I was already in Forks, I was the closest to the hospital, so I turned around and started that direction. I had been driving, so I was the only one who had shoes with them, therefore I was nominated to go and find Sam. I was also the most logical choice because it was me who left Bella without actually having all the details. In hindsight that was pretty stupid, but I was way too upset to even think about being around a vampire and Bella at the same time. So while I acknowledge it was stupid, I knew I would do the same thing again if I had the opportunity to do it over.
Sam was easy to find, my dad was still at our house, Charlie and Sue were working out the details, Seth and Leah had each other, and Sam was just trying to help while avoiding the arrows that Leah threw at him. Everyone knew that if looks could kill, Sam would have died long ago. He seemed almost grateful for a good excuse to leave.
That was until he knew why I was there. I knew that trying to explain with words was going to be long, complicated, and ineffective so we quickly phased and I explained what happened while we headed to Sam's house. We really needed more information and I was really worried about Bella, even if it were a Cullen, just because I knew they were not suppose to be a danger to people doesn't mean that I was comfortable with Bella testing that theory. Sam was frustrated that we didn't really know for sure what was going on, so I suggested that I give Bella a call. If she answered then we knew she was safe and we can assume that it was a Cullen with her, I wouldn't allow myself to think about what it would mean if she didn't answer the phone.
Once we got to Sam's I went straight to the phone, while Sam spoke with Embry and Jared who were there waiting for us. I picked up the phone and dialed Bella's number, two long rings later I heard her voice.
“No, it's me,” I answered, Sam walked over, clearly listening through the phone.
“Jake!” I could hear the excitement in her voice and it hurt. How could she keep picking them over me and yet still be excited knowing that I was pathetically hanging on to her as much as I could.
“Just making sure you were still alive,” I said sourly, it was annoying that I even had to check in the first place.
“I'm fine. I told you that it wasn't –”
I cut her off, I couldn't stand to listen to her defend them again. “Yeah. I got it. 'Bye.” I hung up without waiting to hear her response. The goal had been accomplished, she was alive, meaning it was a Cullen there with her, that was all that mattered for now.
After the confirmation that Bella was alive, we changed our patrol routes to only include our land. Sam reminded each of us the rules of the treaty. We are not to attack a Cullen unless they have crossed our land, or have bitten or drank from a human. All patrols around Bella's house have stopped. According to Sam, she was now their responsibility to protect.
Sam was fully aware that I used to go outside of Bella's house and he forbid me to do that now. He didn't have to order me away, I agreed to follow his command. I didn't like trusting whatever Cullen was with Bella to keep her safe, but truth be told I knew they would keep her safe. They had protected her before, which was why we were in the situation with the red head to begin with, and there was no reason to believe that they wouldn't now.
I went home and got dad ready for bed, I was too restless to stay in the house so despite my exhaustion I went outside. At least as a wolf I could be semi-productive, so I phased and wandered around with Paul and Sam. It felt constricting to only be able to patrol our land, and to have to be aware of the treaty line, I had not really thought about the freedom that the Cullens being gone provided.
A few hours before sun rise I knew I was spent and started to head back towards home.
Hey, Jacob. Sam called.
Yes? I responded
There is a Council meeting at your house later this morning that I would like you awake for. Sam stated.
Old Quil is not taking this Cullen being back very well and has called the meeting. I think he will have questions that only you have the answers to.
Well I doubt I know more than you. Just wake me up when you want me.
Okay, will do.
I went home and fell asleep immediately. Unfortunately all too soon I awoke to shouting and a loud bang from the other room.
“THE TREATY IS DEAD!”
My muddled mind couldn't understand, however I quickly got up and went into the living room. Dad was in his chair at the kitchen table eating cereal. Old Quil was in the other chair with both hands clutched into fists, there was a large spot of juice where it must have spilt when Old Quil banged on the table. Sam wasn't here, I didn't know if he was late or if the meeting was starting early.
“Quil calm down.” Billy said, and grabbed a napkin to clean up the spill. He looked up and saw me standing there probably with the confusion clearly written on my face. “Sorry, we woke ya Jake.”
Quil had the graciousness to look a little guilty and mumbled an apology.
I got myself some breakfast of cold cereal and milk, and sat down at the table.
“Lets continue this later.” Billy stated.
“You don't have to stop because of me, Sam wanted me here anyways.” I got up and poured myself a glass of juice. “Where is he by the way?” I didn't plan to say anything unless specifically spoken to, I really didn't think that I would have new information to give.
“It's still early, I came over to help your dad get ready and just got ahead of myself.” Old Quil replied.
As if on cue Sam walked in and smirked. “I had a feeling that this one would be starting early.” Sam grabbed a folding chair from the closet and sat it in front of the table.
“Sam if you are hungry, please help yourself.” Billy pointed to the box of cereal I left on the counter.
“Thanks, I just got off patrol and came here. That would be great.” Sam got up and got himself some breakfast as well. “Here is what we know. There is a Cullen that went to Bella's house. Jacob has called and Bella was alive and well, so there is no reason to think she is in immediate danger. We are staying on our side, any leech activity outside our boarders is the Cullen's problem to handle. There has not been any other leech activity in the area.”
“Why are we still honoring that stupid treaty? It clearly has been broken by the bloodsucking pair.” Old Quil countered.
“We don't know that they have anything to do with the Cullens.” Billy said.
“Yes we do. She is after Bella because of the Cullens, that means they are connected.” Old Quil was fuming and his face turned a little red from anger.
“Quil, we don't want to start a war over something we aren't sure of.” Billy reciprocated.
“There is no war, just one lonely Cullen.” Old Quil justified.
“Right now, yes, but if we killed one of them you know the rest would seek vengeance.”
“I don't want to put the pack in danger without more information.” Sam added.
I got up from the table and refilled my bowl and poured some more into Sam's as well and added milk to both and sat back down.
“Thanks” Sam smiled. “Also lets remember that Bella was scared of this one, she isn't scared of the Cullens.” Sam rationalized “Is she Jacob?” He said, turning the conversation to me.
“No, Bella's reaction to the Cullens is extremely different to how she reacts to the red headed one.”
“Jake, do you think she is with the Cullens?” Billy asked.
“I don't think so. Bella would have said something.” I answered.
“Really? And where is Bella now.” Old Quil sneered.
I could feel myself start to growl, as Sam placed his hand on my shoulder. I had always respected Old Quil, and I was afraid I would say something I would regret later. Hurt and angry, I just got up from the table and walked out the front door. They didn't need me.
As the door slammed behind me I could hear dad say “Hey, that was uncalled for.” Followed by another mumbled apology.
By the second day we were all tired of the same patrol route and started getting bored and grumpy. We were able to cut back to only two wolves patrolling at a time, which helped everyone except me. Having more “free time” just really isn't what I needed right now.
Charlie told my dad that it was Alice who was with Bella and I remembered that she was the future chick. Not really sure what good that information gave us, but at least we knew. My main concern was Alice bringing the rest of her family back with her, or more specifically Edward. I do not know what I would do if Edward ever came back.
I felt haunted by how excited Bella was just when she thought Carlisle was in her house, I assumed that she would be even more excited about Edward. Unless I got lucky and she was actually mad at him for leaving her, but I knew Bella better than that. She would forgive him just like she forgave anyone else. Just like she forgave me, when she felt abandoned and alone.
The day of Harry's funeral finally arrived, I woke up and got dad ready. He wore dark pants and a cream shirt with a vest with intricate tribal lettering, two large wolves covered each breast and eagle feathers lined his shoulders and waist. I braided his hair and laid out the head dress that would crown his head, from his chair it was long and dragged on the ground so I would wait to attach it until he was ready to leave. As a council member dad had many additional responsibilities and rituals that he would be leading. He did this for anyone in the tribe who passed away, we were proud of our heritage and felt that all Quileute members should be respected when they crossed over.
However, this was the first council member to pass away in over 25 years so the whole tribe was saddened, but also filled with curiosity and wonder at what the ceremony would be like. There would be drums, singing, and dances. Dad would tell different legends of our tribe, including those of our spirit's life after it leaves this body.
No one likes funerals, but for me they always reminded me of my mom's. She was also given a lot of special treatment for being the wife of the “acting chief” of our tribe. I would much rather not go if I could avoid it. So when Sam needed a volunteer to talk to Bella about her house guest, I jumped at the opportunity. Initially he just wanted me to call her again, but I insisted that I would get better information if I spoke to her in person. He saw through my crap, and knew I just wanted to see her, fortunately my logic was sound. He insisted that I bring back up and no one trusted Paul to be able to behave himself and Sam was needed for funeral so that left Jared and Embry. At first Sam didn't like the idea of us going during the funeral because he thought we should all be there, but I convinced him that it would be the best time because Charlie would be gone.
The three of us headed to Forks. I was a nervous mess, part of me wanted to get this over with, the other part of me dreaded to hear the answers to the questions I needed to ask. What if this leech never left? What if she brought more of them with her? A bigger part of me wanted to take Bella and run for it, to take her away from the dangers that seemed to keep surrounding her. I knew Bella well enough to never dream of trying to kidnap her.
Jared drove and Embry fiddled with the radio. I don't know if he was looking for a particular song or just enjoyed annoying the hell out of me by flipping stations so often.
“Jacob what do you want us to do?” Jared asked.
“I think we should all go. Protection in number.” Embry suggested.
“Let me go first, if the bloodsucker is there then in all honesty I think it would be best for you all to join me. I don't want a war to break out with Bella in the middle of it.” I answered
We pulled up to Bella's house. “That will be fine,” Jared acknowledged.
We all exited the car, even from the outside it reeked of leech. I could hear voiced inside, but didn't really pay attention to what they were saying to each other. I walked towards the door, and Embry grabbed my shoulder. “Jake, I really think we should all go,” he said.
“Em, think about it. Nothing is going to happen to me.”
“You don't know that.”
“I know.” With that I pushed the door bell and I could hear it ring inside.
It only took a moment to hear Bella's voice. “Hold on!” she yelled. I heard the water run and voices mumbled behind it. I pushed the button twice more, waiting for a response. This was getting ridiculous, her house wasn't that big it shouldn't take someone this long to answer the door. Her future telling “friend” was probably telling her it was me and trying to convince her to ignore me. Well I didn't plan on being ignored and pressed the door bell again.
Finally I could hear her feet sprinting down the stairs, slightly impressed that there wasn't a plunk at the end where she tripped, a graceful Bella, who would have thought. The door swung open and the smell knocked me back several feet, I never knew smell could be so powerful. It was the first time I had ever smelled vampire in a confined space and the difference from the open air was intense. My arms started shaking on instinct, this was going to take every ounce of control that I had.
“Hey.” She said. We paused for a moment, I assumed for me to speak, but I couldn't yet. My eyes darted around, another instinct that I was trying to control, my body was hunting. “She's not here. Do you need something?”
I took a moment to watch her face. “You're alone?” I know I heard voices from inside.
“Yes.” Bella was a terrible liar, so I had no doubt that she was telling me the truth, even though I knew Jared and Embry wouldn't believe her.
“Can I talk to you a minute?”
“Of course you can, Jacob. Come on in.”
I glanced over at the guys, I wanted to reassure them that I was fine. Embry was panicking and didn't like it at all, to him it felt like a trap, but he didn't know Bella like I did.
“Chicken,” I heard her mumble. I couldn't believe that Bella would think I was scared of her 'friend' and secondly that she would call me out on it. Determined to prove myself I marched through the door and I would have slammed it shut, but Bella was still holding it.
I walked into her living room and there were blankets thrown over the couch, they smelled horrible. I was shocked by how much effort was put into their human charade. “Slumber party?” I asked, sarcastically.
“Yeah.” I could hear the acid in her voice, that reflected the same in my own. “What's it to you?”
I was still amazed at how bad it smelled in here. “Where's your 'friend'?” It felt strange calling a vampire a friend, but I knew that was how Bella saw them.
“She had some errands to run. Look, Jacob, what do you want?”
The smell of vampire was overwhelming to my instincts. The living room was so small that I literally felt like I was surrounded by the smell, like I was being attacked by it, and my wolf did not like it. I could control the phasing, but I couldn't control the way my body reacted to the “danger” that the smell evoked. My eyes darted around, my arms shook, and my nose led me to the kitchen where the smell was the least concentrated.
“Hey,” she said and stepped into my path blocking me from my pacing. “What's your problem?”
“I don't like having to be here.” I saw her flinch at my words. I didn't mean them exactly how they came out, but more like I didn't like why I had to be here.
“Then I'm sorry you had to come,” she muttered. “Why don't you tell me what you need so you can leave?”
“I just have to ask you a couple of questions. It shouldn't take long. We have to get back for the funeral.”
“Okay. Get it over with then.”
She certainly wasn't making this any easier, trying to fight to urge to phase with her pissing me off wasn't helping. I took a deep breath, trying to ignore the terrible smell. “One of the Cullens is staying here with you.” I stated in “pack mode”, I felt it would be safer for us all if I distanced myself emotionally from the situation.
“Yes. Alice Cullen.”
I nodded, we knew that. “How long is she here for?”
“As long as she wants to be. It's an open invitation.”
“Do you think you could . . . please . . . explain to her about the other one – Victoria?”
She paled more. “I told her about that.”
Well that was good to know. I nodded. “You should know that we can only watch our own lands with a Cullen here. You'll only be safe in La Push. I can't protect you here anymore.”
“Okay.” She said softly.
I looked out the window debating about bringing up the rest of the family, more specifically Edward. Was this really pack business? Or was it just my personal curiosity?
“Is that all?” Bella asked.
I couldn't make eye contact with her, the question was too scary and the answer made me even more nervous. “Just one more thing.” I didn't know how to ask.
Bella paused, I assumed waiting for me to continue. “Yes?”
“Are the rest of them coming back now?”
There was an even longer pause and I wished that I had been watching her face the whole time, then I would have a better read on the situation. I didn't know if her silence meant 'yes they were coming and I don't want you to know' or no, and I knew 'no' would hurt her about as much as the 'yes' would hurt me. “Well?” I added, the suspense was killing me.
“No. They aren't coming back.”
“Okay. That's all.” Granted I was glad the rest weren't coming, but it seemed clear that Bella missed them and wished they had not left. Her face hardened and she glared at me so intensively. I wasn't really sure what I had done, didn't she realize that she had started it.
“Well, run along now. Go tell Sam that the scary monsters aren't come to get you.”
Oh, we were back the the Sam thing again. “Okay.”
I could see that Bella had been trying to hide her real emotions the whole time, and I figured two could play at that game. I walked quickly out of the kitchen with the intention of leaving, but something inside made me stay. I hated fighting with Bella, the last fight had been terrible and resulted with me climbing in her window during the middle of the night. I knew that would not be an option this time and if we were going to fix things it had to be now.
I saw my boys still outside by the car. This was taking longer than we planned and I wasn't sure if they were going to be able to make it to the funeral or not. I waved them off, Embry didn't want to leave, but Jared didn't really give him the option of staying as he quickly pulled the car from Bella's house.
I heard her rock back against the counter roughly. I peeked back into the kitchen and could see her hands covering her face and the glistening of tears. “Bella . . .?” I asked unsure. I didn't like seeing her cry, however the tears showed that she didn't like fighting any more than I did. Despite the pain of seeing her cry, knowing she cried over me meant a lot. I walked and stood directly in front of her, standing in a wide stance to make myself a little shorter and leaned over so that my face was level to her own. “Did it again, didn't I?”
“Did what?” She asked, her voice cracking from her tears.
“Broke my promise. Sorry.”
“S'okay,” she mumbled. “I started it this time.”
Yes, but I knew that I shouldn't have pushed her in regards to the Cullens. “I knew how you felt about them. It shouldn't have taken me by surprise like that.”
“Lets not worry about it, okay? She's just visiting, right? She'll leave, and things will go back to normal.”
“Can't I be friends with you both at the same time?”
I could see how that would make her happy, but I knew it could never be the case. I shook my head slowly, “No, I don't think you can.”
Bella looked down at the ground. “But you'll wait, right? You'll still be my friend, even though I love Alice, too?”
Love? Oh man, this was messed up. “Yeah, I'll always be your friend. No matter what you love.”
I couldn't keep myself away from her any longer. I wrapped my arms around her and I could feel her weight lean into my chest. This was how we were meant to be, wrapped in each others' arms, not fighting about vampires.
“This sucks.” Bella said.
“Yeah.” Out of habit I took a deep breath, I always loved the way Bella smelled, especially her hair. However today, she smelled terrible. She was covered in leech smell, mixed in with bleach, comet and various other household cleaners. “Ew.”
“What!” She looked up at my face and I couldn't keep the wrinkled look off. “Why does everyone keep doing that to me? I don't smell!”
I smiled, nice to have something trivial to talk about. “Yes, you do – you smell like them. Bleach. Too sweet – sickly sweet. And . . . icy. It burns my nose.”
“Really? But why would Alice think I smelled, too, then?”
That was sort of strange, I hadn't known that. “Huh. Maybe I don't smell so good to her, either. Huh.” I guess that made sense that neither of us would smell good to the other.
“Well, you both smell fine to me.” Well that is good, I hadn't given much thought to my personal smell glad to know Bella doesn't think I stink.
She relaxed, resting her head once again against my chest. I rubbed my hands over her back, the atmosphere in the room changed and I could feel that my time with Bella was coming to a close. I hated leaving her, especially not knowing for how long it was going to be. “I'll miss you. Every minute. I hope she leaves soon.” I'm not sure if I meant to say that out loud, but truthfully Bella needed to hear it as much as I needed to say it.
“It really doesn't have to be that way, Jake.”
I sighed, she just doesn't understand, but I need her to. She needs to understand that she can't have us both at the same time, it just doesn't work that way. “Yes, it really does, Bella. You . . . love her.” I can't believe I just said that to her. “So I'd better not get anywhere near her. I'm not sure that I'm even-tempered enough to handle that. Sam would be mad if I broke the treaty, and -” filling with sarcasm “you probably wouldn't like it too much if I killed your friend.”
I felt her recoil from me, but I wasn't letting her go. We were not going to get into a fight over something that wasn't going to happen, and she needed to accept the truth behind my words. “There's no point in avoid the truth. That's the way things are, Bells.”
“I do not like the way things are.”
I freed one arm that was wrapped tightly around her and brought it to her cheek to make her look at me. I wanted to look her directly into the eyes and know how much I wish things were different. “Yeah. It was easier when we were both human, wasn't it?”
I looked deep into her eyes as she looked back into mine. In her face I could see where she wished things were different and I did too. We had never locked gazes quite like this any other time, there was an intensity behind it that I had never felt before. I wanted there to be something that I could give her that would show that I would still be here for her, and something that she could give me to say she would want me back. A kiss.
The moment that the thought entered my mind I saw the hesitation in Bella. Slowly I brought my other hand to her face leaving a trail along her jaw and cheek. My hands were so large on her tiny face with my palms cupping each of her cheeks. There was no doubt she knew what was coming.
“Bella,” I whispered, giving her the chance to refuse. I saw the uncertainty in her eyes, but she wasn't stopping me either, I had no idea when this opportunity would come again and I wasn't going to let this one pass me by. I kept my eyes on her as I leaned my face the few inches it would take to make contact with her lips.
The phone ringing was an unexpected surprise and we both jumped, but even the phone wasn't going to distract me for long. I have every intention of going back and finishing what I started, which was why I left one hand on her face while I grabbed the phone with the other. I thought that if I let Bella answer it herself then this moment would be gone forever, I figured I could have a quick conversation with most likely Charlie, Billy, or Sam and then go back and kiss Bella.
Bella never moved, or took advantage of the distraction that the phone provided. Without taking my eyes off Bella I reached out and took the phone from it's cradle. “Swan residence.”
“Hello, this is Carlisle Cullen, is Charlie there?” Immediately at the mention of Cullen my wolf took over and I completely forgot what I was about to do. My hand dropped from Bella's face like it didn't know why it was there in the first place. Those damn vampires are destroying everything.
Bella reached out her hand for the phone, but she was not getting any more connected to the Cullen family than she already was, so I ignored her. “He's not here.”
“Where is he?” Carlisle asked.
“He's at the funeral.” Instantly the line went dead, that freak just hung up on me! I slammed the phone back into its holder, careful to not break it. “Filthy bloodsucker,” I muttered to no one in particular.
“Who did you just hang up on?” She said infuriated. “In my house, and on my phone?”
I have never seen her this angry before. “Easy! He hung up on me!”
“He? Who was it?!”
I can't believe she was actually wanting to speak to Edward after all the crap that he has put her through. “Dr. Carlisle Cullen.”
“Why didn't you let me talk to him?!”
“He didn't ask for you.” I couldn't believe that I was having to defend myself to Bella again. “He asked where Charlie was and I told him. I don't think I broke any rules of etiquette.”
“You listen to me, Jacob Black – ”
Immediately I was distracted by a sound I was quite sure only I could hear. The smell of vampire was getting stronger and I could hear the quick movements that was so characteristic of them. I looked over Bella's shoulder to see where Alice might be coming from and my body was in full out “wolf mode”. I knew I needed to get out of there before either Bella or Alice got hurt.
“Bye, Bells.” I spit out as I headed towards the front door.
Bella ran after me. “What is it?”
She slammed hard into my back, grabbed on to my hips to try and steady herself while I tried to turn around which caused me to knock her over and our legs got tangled together. Bella was on the floor protesting while I was standing cursing as I separated myself from her flailing body. My wolf could feel Alice coming and I needed to get out of there, just as I was about to make it to the back door I saw her. She was such a tiny little thing, I thought Bella was small, but she was nothing compared to Alice.
The moment I saw her I couldn't move, every single part of me told me to attack and it took everything I had to ignore it.
Bella ran to her side and I was amazed and repulsed at how easily they could touch one another. I could see that Bella was concern about Alice, but I couldn't figure out why. I heard “Edward” whispered and then saw Bella start to fall over, her head rocked from side to side and her legs were weak. Alice and I both reached out to steady her, but I wasn't going to let her touch Bella again. It royally freaked me out, and my “Bella censoring” became unoperational as I let the utter profanity fly, she could get on to me for it later.
I grabbed Bella in my arms and placed her on the couch. My whole body was shaking so badly that I thought it was going to cause the couch to fall apart.
“What did you do to her?” I demanded.
She didn't even look at me, her eyes only on Bella as she leaned towards her. “Bella? Bella, snap out of it. We have to hurry.” We and hurry, were two words that I did NOT want in the same sentence.
“Stay back,” I warned. She was not taking Bella anywhere with her like this.
“Calm down, Jacob Black,” Alice ordered. “You don't want to do that so close to her.”
Oh, she did not just tell me what to do. “I don't think I'll have any problem keeping my focus.” I know my shaking body may say otherwise. The shaking was instinctual, the wolf wanted out, and I couldn't control that, but I decided when to release that wolf so phasing I could control.
“Alice?” I heard Bella's voice so weak. “What happened?
“I don't know.” Alice answered. Suddenly she wailed, “What is he thinking?!”
Bella grabbed onto my arm as she pulled herself up. Her legs were still weak and she didn't have great balance, and my shaking probably didn't help. I watched her carefully while Alice talked on her cell phone. I didn't really care who Alice was speaking too, but I will admit that I was surprised by the emotions that Alice demonstrated. I had never thought of them as caring about anyone other than themselves, and I guess their mates.
Apparently someone named Rose did something that was causing all this craziness. I listened a little to the other side of the conversation, and could hear that Rose told Edward that Bella was dead. Now granted that was a pretty crappy thing to do, but I couldn't understand why Edward would care. He left her.
“Alice,” Bella blurted out. “Alice, Carlisle is back, though. He called just before . . .”
“How long ago?” Alice asked.
“Half a minute before you showed up.”
“What did he say?” Alice looked very intensely at Bella, while Bella's eyes flickered to me.
“I didn't talk to him.”
The intensity of Alice's gaze caught me off guard. So I answered the damn phone, I did nothing wrong. Why does she look like she wants to kill me? If a fight was about to break out I did not want Bella between us so I shifted slightly so that Bella was more behind me.
“He asked for Charlie, and I told him Charlie wasn't here.” I muttered, even though I had no idea why that was any of Alice's business.
“Is that everything?” Her voice was so sharp that it was pestering the wolf and the tremors started forcefully and I could feel Bella's body rocking against them.
“Then he hung up on me.” I could not understand why I was the bad guy in this situation.
“You told him Charlie was at the funeral,” Bella added.
Once again Bella had Alice's full attention. “What were his exact words?” Great, you guys just talk about me like I'm not standing RIGHT HERE.
“He said, 'He's not here,' and when Carlisle asked where Charlie was, Jacob said, 'At the funeral.”
Alice made an awful sound and she fell to her knees on the ground. It was quite startling and I didn't know what to do.
“Tell me Alice,” Bella whispered.
“That wasn't Carlisle on the phone.”
“Are you calling me a liar?” I couldn't believe that stupid leech had the nerve. . . I was having a perfectly good rant going in my head when the name “Edward” cut me off. What the hell? I had been talking to Edward?
“He thinks you're dead.” Alice said to Bella.
“Rosalie told him I killed myself, didn't she?”
I didn't know who Rosalie was, but I assumed she was one of the Cullens. At first I was like Bella and assumed that they could get word to Edward that Bella was fine, even though I didn't think it was his business at all whether Bella was alive or dead. I was also really impressed how well Bella seemed to be doing hearing about Edward, normally he was not a subject that should ever be brought up. It was only her finger nails digging holes into my skin that gave any indication that she was concerned.
Suddenly Bella started freaking out, screaming “No” and “He can't” and I had no idea what she was talking about. Bella was getting more and more upset and she suddenly stood up and I stood with her blocking her from Alice. I was sick of the emotional mess that little leech was creating. She elbowed herself away from me and I tried to follow what they were saying. I couldn't figure out why Edward going to Italy was such a problem.
I didn't like that Bella was so eager to do whatever they were needing her to do. I saw the hesitation in Alice and figured it must be serious if she was worried about Bella. I couldn't imagine a danger worse than what she had already gone through. It's not that I didn't care, but I had no idea why this was Bella's problem or why she felt she needed to fix it.
“I'm only afraid of getting you killed.” Alice finally said something that I understood.
Bella snorted, not taking the threat seriously. “I almost get myself killed on a daily basis! Tell me what I need to do!” Bella replied.
“You write a note to Charlie. I'll call the airlines.” Alice commanded.
“Charlie,” Bella gasped.
“I'm not going to let anything happen to Charlie.” I didn't want her to worry about him. “Screw the treaty.” For a moment Bella and I looked at each other and I hated that she was being put in this position.
“Hurry, Bella.” Alice interrupted urgently.
Bella ran to the kitchen and started throwing stuff all over the floor. I could only imagine that she was searching for a pen, she must have been really panicked because it was right in front of her she just wasn't seeing it. For some unknown reason my hand reached out and handed her the pen, followed shortly by the note pad. Why I was helping her leave? I had no idea.
“Don't go.” I whispered, I didn't want to beg, but I knew I would if I needed to.
“Please, please, please take care of Charlie.” The fact that she felt she had to tell me that was insulting, not to mention that Charlie was the least of our problem.
Bella dashed upstairs, I couldn't talk any sense into her, maybe there was a slight chance to change Alice's mind. I stayed as far away from her as I could.
“What the hell are you thinking, taking Bella to a bunch of bloodsuckers? Does she mean nothing to you?”
“I love Bella.”
“Not the way I do, or there is no way you could do this to her.” I saw Alice flinch at my words, but insulting her was the least of my concerns. “You might control yourself on occasion, but these leeches that you are taking her to –” The more I thought about it the more angry I became, and getting angry at a vampire isn't smart if I want to stay on two legs.
“Yes. You're right dog.” Alice snarled back. “The Volturi are the very essence of our kind – they're the reason your hair stands on end when you smell me. They are the substance of your nightmares, the dread behind your instincts. I'm not unaware of that.”
“And you take her to them like a bottle of wine for a party.” I couldn't believe that she had the audacity to admit the danger and yet do nothing to try and stop it.
“You think she'd be better off if I left her here alone, with Victoria stalking her?”
“We can handle the redhead.” I shouted.
“Then why is she still hunting?” At the insult my blood boiled and my vision started to blur, as a growl ripped from my chest.
“Stop that!” The sound of Bella's voice stopped the fire that burned within me. “Argue when we get back, let's go!”
Alice moved so fast to the car that she almost disappeared and Bella was running after her. Bella turned back towards the door and I grabbed on to her arm. “Please, Bella. I'm begging.” My voice caught in my throat and I could feel my eyes glaze over with tears.
“Jake, I have to –”
“You don't, though. You really don't. You could stay here with me. You could stay alive. For Charlie. For me.”
The engine revved and I saw the tears in Bella's eyes as she pulled her arm from mine. I didn't move to stop her again. “Don't die, Bella.” I said choking on my tears. “Don't go. Don't.”
There was just a moment of hesitation and then her arms wrapped tightly around my waist and I could feel her tears through my shirt. I tightly wound my arms around her placing one hand behind her head, never wanting to let her go. All too soon I heard, “Bye, Jake”, as she lifted my hand and kissed my palm. Tears were streaming down my face, which she didn't even look at, as she said, “Sorry” and raced for the car.
No. No. No. No!! This can't be happening. For the second time in my life, my world exploded.
- After leaving Bella's house, Jacob does go to the hospital. I find it interesting that I made the decision for Jacob to go there before I read that SM made that decision. Glad to know we agree. :)
- Charlie does tell Billy that it is Alice that is staying there. So Jacob knows who it is when he goes back to her house.
- Treaty Stuff: Lets take a moment to talk about the treaty.
Cullen's can't come on Tribal lands.
Wolf can only attack vampires that cross into their land. If a vampire is outside their land, while a Cullen is here, then it is the Cullen's responsibility to deal with them.
Forks is neutral territory meaning that the wolves and Cullens could both be there and the treaty is not broken. However because Forks in not La Push, I do not believe that the wolves could attack a vampire (even Victoria) because that is the Cullen's responsibility. (Think of the Victoria chase when Bella and Edward are in Florida, I know the details are sketchy, but making it where the Cullens have to stay on their side and the wolves on their side makes it a very difficult “chase”.)
The only things that break the treaty is a wolf attacking a vampire outside of their land or telling someone what the Cullens are, OR the Cullen's biting or killing a human or going on Tribal land.
- After Alice returns Old Quil, Billy, and Sam talk to each other about the possibility of a war, but Sam wants more information first.
- I know NOTHING about the tribal funerals, which is why I made it sort of vague.
- Jacob insist that he go speak with Bella in person, that way he would know if she is telling the truth and get more information from her.
- They went during the funeral to make sure Charlie wasn't home.
- For those who are curious Alice is 4'10, compared to Jacob she would be almost 2 feet shorter than him, and Alice is 6 inches shorter than Bella.
- Jacob is surprised at how emotional Alice is, doesn't think about vampires having emotions. Also surprised at how easily Bella and Alice touch each other.
- Other than the first time, when Bella leaves is the first time that Jacob phases without him controlling it.
Chapter 18 – WAITING
The moment Bella said “Sorry” I lost all will power. It was my strength that had been holding the wolf back and I was so hurt that my endurance faltered and for the first time he took control and I phased without myself allowing it. Bella was running after Edward into a knowingly dangerous situation, these weren't “safe vamps” that Edward had gotten himself involved with, and she didn't even think twice before running to his aide. Even after I begged her to stay, it made no difference what-so-ever.
I had never cried as a wolf before and the feeling was so different. My eyes filled with large tears that would get lost in the wind as my legs pushed me faster and faster. I was running, nowhere in particular I could feel Paul out here somewhere, but I chose to ignore him. Even though I could feel him watching the different images that crossed through my head. As long as he kept his mouth shut I really didn't care if he saw why my heart was being shattered into a million pieces.
For once in Paul's life he had the good sense to keep his mouth shut and his thoughts were sympathetic, as much as we conflicted we were brothers when it mattered most. I ended up home without really meaning to and felt I needed time alone. I phased back and didn't care about my nakedness.
As I looked around my yard I felt like a memory of Bella was everywhere. The worst was the garage and as I entered my legs buckled under me and I curled into myself and cried. The more I cried the angrier I became. This garage that was once MY domain, but now it was my dungeon, a place of pain and torture. In a fit of rage I saw my tool chest and knocked it over, tools scattering in every direction.
I guessed the boys never made it over to the funeral for my Rabbit sat in her spot back inside the garage. I remembered all the times that Bella sat in there and watched me work, all the times that we had sat together, it was so US. In one solid punch my hand almost went through the hood, I felt several bones in my hand snap. The pain was intense, but anything was better than the pain in my chest. In no time there was a pile of tangled destruction as I went around like a tornado intending on destroying anything and everything that Bella ever touched. My hands and arms were bruised and blood poured down my skin until it healed and instantly dried against my hot skin. It was not long when I made it to the motorcycles, both standing like a shrine mocking me.
Before I could continue the destruction much further I felt a hand on my shoulder, as I turned around I saw Embry. His eyes were full of compassion and sympathy. I heard a mumbled “I'm sorry” from him as he put his arm across my shoulders. I shrugged it off, not ready for sympathy.
“What are you doing here.” I asked roughly, as I walked away still needing my own space.
“Paul came and got me. He figured you could use a friend.”
“Well he thought wrong.” I scowled as I sat down on an old bucket that had been knocked over.
Embry rolled his eyes and sat on the ground where he was. “Whatever Jake. So why were you tearing this place apart?”
“I thought Paul told you.”
“He just said that Bella took off with the leech after Edward. You know how Paul is he never pays attention to details.”
“I don't know what more to tell ya, Em.” I took a deep breath and stumbled through explaining about the suicide mission that Bella took herself on. “I'm just scared that she isn't coming back at all and pissed off that she left to begin with. I mean she is willing to die for that filthy bloodsucker that broke her apart.” I could feel the heat start to gather again and my arms started to shake, but I wasn't ready to become a wolf again.
“I don't blame ya, that sucks.”
There was a short pause of comfortable silence. “Hey, thanks for coming.”
Embry gave a sad smile, “Any time.”
We sat in silence for a while as my eyes randomly filled with tears. Slowly my eyes started to dry and I could see the mess before me, what have I done? Embry's eyes followed my own as we surveyed the damage.
“You don't do things half way do ya?” Embry smirked.
I tried to smile, but I think it was more of a grimace. “I guess now I know what I'll be doing in my free time, putting all this crap back in order.”
“Do you want help?” Embry stood and started picking up a few things and placing them back where they belong.
“Sure, but not right now.” I stood up and walked around the place. “It will probably just make me angry all over again.”
“Okay.” He placed his hand on my shoulder and this time I let him keep it there. “It's going to be okay Jake.” He slapped my back and started to walk out of the garage. “Let's go inside and get yourself cleaned up and some clothes.”
I looked down at myself and was surprised by all the blood and dirt that was smeared over my arms, chest and legs. There was one deep gash over my left hip that I didn't even remember hitting. We walked back into the house and I took a quick shower and slipped on some shorts.
By the time I made it back to the kitchen Embry had made four ham and cheese sandwiches.
“I was hungry, and figured you might be too.” Embry explained.
“Thanks.” I can't say that I really felt hungry. I was too worried about Bella and the mess she was getting herself into, but I ate anyways.
We sat ourselves in the living room and Embry flipped the channels often. I didn't care what we watched. For a moment there was a couple on the screen, they looked at one another and kissed. It made me cringe. It seemed that kissing was so easy for everyone else, but me. I had been so close today, if only I hadn't answered the damn phone.
The sun was starting to set when I heard a car pull up and quickly Sam walked in the front door.
“Hey Embry,” he nodded his head at each of us in greeting. “Jacob, your dad is with the Clearwater's. Emily has some food she wants me to take over and then I think we could use a pack meeting. I need to know all the stuff you learned today.
“You have no idea.” Embry mumbled.
Then Sam took another moment to look at me. “Jacob what happened to you? Did that Cullen attack you?” His face showed his shock and concern. “I wouldn't have let you go if I thought you were going to get hurt from it.”
Most of the bruises had faded to a pale yellow and the cuts were a bright red, in another couple hours they would only be seen by another wolf, only because we knew what to look for.
“No, this one's all me.” His eye brows raised in confusion. “If you don't mind I'd rather tell you as a wolf, but to make a depressing story short the Cullen is gone and took Bella with her.”
“What?” Sam said shocked. “Embry you come with me and tell me what you know. I want everyone to be a wolf in 20 minutes.”
We all agreed, Sam and Embry walked out and I went out into the woods. Paul and Jared were already out patrolling and I explained that Sam and Embry would be joining us for a meeting after going by the Clearwater's. I thanked Paul for sending Embry, it really was nice of him even though he couldn't help but laugh when he say the destruction in the garage.
Suddenly there was a stream of profanity that screamed at us all.
What the hell? Paul asked.
That wasn't you? I asked him.
Who the hell is talking in my head? And why am I a damn dog? Said the unknown wolf. Surrounded by this wolf I could see that he was inside a house, so I assumed that this was a first phasing. I could hear a woman screaming and and two male voices as well. My first assumption was that it was Quil who had joined us.
In the same instant I felt another violent shutter. Oh my God! Leah are you okay? Asked another voice in my head, in the same moment the woman's screams stopped.
Seth, is that you? Asked the first unknown wolf.
Yes . . .
Hold on just a minute. Jared interrupted. Leah and Seth are wolves?
I was struck speechless, having no idea what to say.
It was amazing how hindsight works. Standing in the Clearwater house with two wolves and Sue who had passed out, I have never been more shocked in my whole life. However looking over the past few days now I could see perfectly everything that I missed before.
Sue was worried about her kids, apparently they had both comes down with a fever, but they were too stubborn to stay home. They both got it the same day, so I assumed it was just normal sickness, and both insisted that they felt fine and that nothing was wrong with them. At the time I just figured that they didn't want to leave their mother, and Seth and Leah were constantly comforting each other so I didn't actually touch either one.
Harry's funeral was beautifully awful. Awful because he was my best friend and I couldn't believe he was gone, and beautiful because the tribe really outdid themselves in their out pour of love and support. Especially Sam, he wanted everything to be perfect and spent every spare second that he had with Sue, Charlie, and myself. It seemed unavoidable that Leah would be around, now I can clearly see that seeing Sam so much was more than she could handle.
The only good thing was that Charlie had gone home directly after the funeral, he said that he wanted to check on Bella, but we all knew that he just needed to be alone. Sam went by my house to check in with Jacob, he wanted to know what he had learned during his visit with Bella during the funeral. Sue, Leah, Seth, and I went to the Clearwater's house to bring the gifts that had been given to the family.
Leah walked right into the house without saying anything and marched straight to her room, slamming the door behind her. Her music blared, but her sobs could still be heard, Seth told me she blamed herself for not being able to get help to her dad faster. Eventually logic would catch up with the guilt and she would understand that it wasn't her fault, but for now she lived in the land of if-only. If only she had gotten her dad help faster . . . If only she hadn't been alone . . . If only . . .
Sam had brought some food that Emily prepared and was placing it in the refrigerator. I saw Leah leave her room and walk into the kitchen and suddenly she completely lost it and started yelling for him to get out of her house, that she never wanted to see him again. I rolled into the kitchen and saw her start convulsing and Sam reached out to steady her shoulders. His face was shocked and lifted his hands like she had burned him and immediately backed away from her.
“Billy! Billy come here!” Sam yelled, not realizing I was right behind him.
Confused I rolled myself further in and Seth followed. I couldn't believe my eyes as Leah convulsed harder clutching onto the counter as Sam push the kitchen table as far as it could go away from Leah. Seth leaped towards his sister and Sam reached Seth around his waist pulling him away from Leah. I could tell that Seth was strong and putting up quite a fight, luckily Sam was taller than Seth giving him leverage.
“Sam what is going on?” I asked.
“I think Leah's phasing.” Sam said, his face showed the surprise that I felt.
“What do we do?” I asked.
“I was sort of hoping you could answer that for me.” Sam replied with desperation.
Suddenly Leah screamed and a large gray wolf stood in Sue's kitchen. Leah seemed to be a little smaller than the other wolves, but still plenty big for a kitchen. Sue started screaming and Seth joined her as well. I rolled over to Sue and tried to reassure her that Leah was going to be okay. I could see that the fight between Sam and Seth continued, until Seth started convulsing as well. Sam put his shoulder into Seth's gut and picked him up throwing him over his shoulder and placed Seth on the living room floor. Seth started screaming, and it had to be Sam's werewolf reflexes that allowed him to get out of the way before Seth turned into a large sandy brown wolf.
When Sam had taken Seth out of the kitchen, I grabbed Sue by the hips to try and keep her out of the way. Sue did not have any idea that the legends were true until she saw it first hand, twice. Unfortunately it was too much for her and she fainted, landing awkwardly in my lap. I shifter her some so that she sat more comfortably and reached over her chest to feel that she was breathing fine so I felt confident that her body would wake herself up when it felt ready.
Embry sprinted in the front door and looked around the room. “Oh my God! How can I help?”
“Is Sue okay?” Sam asked.
“Yeah, I think she will be fine. Do you mind moving her to the couch? I think she would be a little more comfortable than my chair the whole time.”
Embry walked over, lifted her easily, and placed her on the couch.
I rolled over to Seth and Sam turned towards him. “Seth, look, you and Leah are going to be okay.” Sam said.
“I know this was unexpected, but you are not alone.” I added to them both. “Can you hear any other wolves with you?” Both Leah and Seth nodded their heads in affirmation. “Sam and Embry are also wolves, I want you both to follow them out.” Leah immediately started to growl and stomped her front paws. “Leah I need you to trust me.” I didn't know that wolves could glare, but apparently they can. Thankfully she had enough respect for me to follow my direction.
I stayed in the house and watched over Sue, it only took her a few more minutes to wake up and then several hours to answer her hundreds of questions. I called Old Quil and informed him of Leah and Seth's phasing, understandably he was shocked as well. Sue didn't want to be left alone, so I stayed there a few days sleeping on the couch. The pack members came here often to keep us informed, Seth was handling it better than Leah, no surprise there, this was a situation that none of us were prepared for and I didn't know what else to do.
It has been three days of absolute torture. The pack mind was a crappy place to be right now. With seven wolves freaked out and not knowing what to do with each other, it was a mess. Normally when a wolf phased for the first time everyone tried to keep their thoughts quiet to not confuse the new person. However we were all so confused and shocked that no one was really following normal procedure. There was absolutely nothing normal about this. Just like Sam knew when I first phased that I wouldn't appreciate him, he also knew how Leah felt about him. The problem was that now we ALL knew exactly what she thought of him.
Though we can't completely block each other out, with a little practice you can choose to ignore someone and concentrate on others. We would probably lose our minds if there was not any way to prioritize the jumbled thoughts of everyone. We split up, even though technically distance didn't make a difference it helped for Leah to be away from Sam, so Embry and I took her and Jared and Paul stayed with Seth. Sam stayed phased, but didn't say a word, for each time he did Leah tried to bite whoever she was closest too, usually me.
I was so sick of dealing with her. I understood being pissed off at someone that you loved, I was totally right there with her, but for her to purposefully make us all uncomfortable was inexcusable. We have always gotten flashes here and there of either real memories or romantic fantasies from each other, however I swear if I see her and Sam going at it one more time I was going to puke, not to mention feeling Sam's regret and Seth's anger and disgust. The last thing I would ever want to see was someone doing that with my sister.
The only one of us that could make Leah do anything was Seth and he finally figured out how to phase back this morning. It was much faster than expected, the wolf gene was very strong in his family which has made him a little more skilled. The absence of Seth has made Leah even more of a problem. Sam literally can't be with her or all hell breaks lose. Paul was likely to rip her head off, he could care less that she was a girl when he got angry it was fair game. She was so indifferent to Jared and Embry that they were practically useless. I guessed that it was her respect for my dad that allowed her to tolerate me without trying to kill me.
Yesterday we were all out patrolling when Paul and Embry came across a fresh scent. It was the red head, she was back during the day which made being discrete harder on all of us. The only good thing was that we knew that Charlie was at work, he avoided being home as much as possible with Bella being gone, and we knew that the house was empty and we also had two more wolves that she didn't know about.
Alright guys, lets do this! Paul said excited.
Being during the day will force her to stay more in the trees, which could be complicated. However if we let her get closer hopefully her excitement at getting past us will cloud her logic. Sam informed.
Where do you want us? I asked.
Jacob and Leah, I want you east of Bella's house, Paul and Embry, I want you to come from the west, make sure that you do not double back and leave your own trail. Seth, you will be with me and Jared. Sam instructed.
A growl rumbled from Leah's chest. What now Leah? Paul complained.
I want Seth with me. Leah demanded.
Leah not the first time. I won't let anything happen to him. Sam promised.
You think your word means anything to me. Leah mumbled.
Come on, Leah now's not the time. I responded and took off
We followed her trail together until we could see that she was making a b-line for Forks. This was perfect, exactly what we wanted her to do and we all divided up. Leah and I stayed together and it didn't take long before we both saw the red glow of her hair as she darted across the ground. Sam, Jared and Seth were already stationed outside of Bella's house and they were waiting for her to get closer before they started and we would all meet in the middle.
There was something deep and instinctual inside Leah, that we could all feel, knowing that there was a vampire running towards her brother. It made her run even faster and it wasn't long before I realized that she was actually faster than me. My strength was a huge advantage, but her smaller size made it where she could glide through the trees smoother.
It was working perfectly then suddenly she turn and bolted, running faster than we had ever seen her run. We knew that it couldn't have been our scent because we hadn't been around in days. Jared, Paul, Embry, Leah, and myself followed her trail while Seth and Sam checked more closely around the area that she bolted from, trying to figure out what caused her to freak out. Her trail was straight and easy to follow, very different than any other time, usually she was always aware that her scent would be tracked and did everything she could to confuse it. This time it seemed like her only concern was speed and wanted the fastest way out. Checking around Bella's house, Sam decided that it was the smell of Alice being there, probably when she went on her “errand” when I went to visit Bella, that the red head smelled which caused her to leave town. It never fails to amaze me how those damn Cullens can cause trouble even when they aren't around any more.
Seth and Leah really loved going on their first vampire hunt. Seth was so excited that he was like a kid in a candy store. Leah was excited yet there was a protectiveness of Seth that was strong, it was an interesting dynamic having siblings within the pack. Even though any of us would risk ourselves to protect a “brother”, there was a clear difference in the connection between Seth and Leah.
It was even more evident when Seth phased back and left Leah behind. She missed her brother which made her feel even more frustrated, which made it even less likely for her to be able to phase back. I tried to explain to her how to relax and the process of phasing back and forth. The problem was that to show her in my mind, or demonstrate it, either way she always saw me naked and that was just embarrassing. Every time she would snicker either at my embarrassment, or at my naked body (not really sure which) and then prance off like it wasn't extremely insulting. If there was a way to flip someone off while being a wolf, I'm pretty sure I would have figured it out by now.
Nights were tough. Leah would go to the woods outside her house and listen to her family, the pain and guilt would intensify as she listened to her mother cry herself to sleep each night. For myself I went home and took care of dad, but being at home always reminded me of Bella. I missed her so badly, and I hated that she left me. I was really close to hating Bella, but that hurt more than loving her. Was it possible to love and hate someone at the same time?
The other problem with being home was here, Charlie knew where to find me. He was a scary man when it comes to his daughter. I had come home to check in with dad, and him and Charlie were in the living room, the tension was so thick.
“Hey, Jake.” Billy called.
“Hey Dad, I'll just be here for food and shower and then I'm heading back out.” I darted to the bathroom, trying to avoid Charlie as best as I could. I took a little longer in the shower than normal, the water felt great, but I was so nervous with Charlie here that I couldn't enjoy it. I wrapped a towel around myself and went to my room, grabbed some shorts, and put them on.
I walked back into the kitchen and saw dad and Charlie still in the same spots as before, the TV was on, but I don't think either of them were really watching it.
“Hey, Jacob.” Charlie said, standing up from the couch.
I cringed dreading anything he might want to ask. “Yeah, Charlie.” I walked into the living room to get this over with.
“Do you know where Bella is?”
“No, I don't.”
I saw the anger flash across his face, it was clear that he felt I was lying to him. “I know you were there when she left with Alice, you have got to know something.”
“Look, I tried to get her to not leave, but she wouldn't listen to me.” I could feel the anger rise up in me and I knew I needed to keep control.
“Charlie, Bella will come back when she has taken care of what she needed to.” Billy tried to help us both, we were overly sensitive when it comes to Bella, and he knew it.
“Edward's problems are none of her concern.” Charlie yelled. He started pacing back and forth in front of the TV.
“I couldn't agree more.” I acknowledged.
“Jacob, do you know what Edward's problem was?” Charlie asked.
“Not really, some kind of misunderstanding between him and his sister that got out of hand.”
“Hell, that's not Bella's problem at all!” Charlie yelled.
“I know, I know. Look, Charlie I'm not going to lie to you, it was not a great situation that Bella was running into, but I didn't understand everything that was going on around me. I don't have the answers you're looking for.”
“How long will she be gone?”
“I don't know, but it sounded like it would be a few days at least.” I knew they were in a hurry to get to Italy, but I didn't know how long they would be there. And I didn't think Charlie would want to know that she actually left the country.
I turned and looked at my dad. “I'm going to grab some food for me and Leah and eat it with her.”
“Where has she been?” Charlie asked.
“She doesn't feel comfortable being in the house right now, so her and some of our friends are hanging out together.” I hoped that worked as some excuse.
“Since when were you and Leah close?” Charlie asked.
“Charlie, you know Jake has known Leah his whole life. She could use all the friends she can get right now.” Billy answered.
“Yeah you're right. Sorry.” Charlie mumbled and plopped back on the couch.
I walked into the pantry and grabbed the full loaf of bread, the jar of peanut butter, a knife, and put them in a grocery sack and walked out the door. Once in the trees I took my shorts off, put them in the sack, and phased. It didn't take long to find Leah, she was starving and hated eating raw. It wasn't something that I had experienced because I had phased back so quickly, so I couldn't really help with that. Once I got close I ducked behind a tree, phased back, and put my shorts on. Then I made peanut butter sandwiches for her and myself. For her I would toss them in the air and she would catch them and just about swallowed them whole. Together we went through the whole loaf of bread and jar of peanut butter, but it was fun and we were full.
Afterwards I went back behind a tree to phase back.
Was that better? I asked
Yes, thanks Jacob. Leah replied. I'm heading back towards my house to sleep.
Okay, I'm on patrol tonight. Laters.
Well that was weird thought Jared.
What? I asked.
Leah didn't bite your head off, and actually acted almost human.
Hey stupid, I'm not asleep yet. Leah retorted.
Come on, Leah, lets try to dream happy dreams tonight. That is about the only entertainment we get around here. I joked.
Back off, Black. Maybe I'll just dream of Bella and you can pretend it was yours. She's all you think about during the day I can only imagine where your mind goes at night.
Hey, that was low. Jared countered.
I felt the growl rumble to the surface and my nails sunk further into the dirt propelling my body to move even faster. Truth be told, sleeping was awful right now. Every night I dreamed of Bella, sometimes the scene was magical and we were together and in love. I would have her wrapped in my arms and be able to kiss her, to feel her mouth move with mine in perfect synchronization. I would tell her how much I loved her and hear her tell me the same. Other times I would see her surrounded by leeches and they would take turns putting their mouth to her throat drinking like she was a public fountain with an abundant supply of blood. She would be dead and they would celebrate and cheer. Either awakening from heaven or from hell, the pain was the same.
Patrols were rather basic with nothing interesting, even Leah's dreams were boring. I would be starting school again, part of me was looking forward to the distraction that school naturally created, but that would also throw me back into Quil's orbit and I just wasn't sure that I was ready. I should have started today, but we used bereavement as an excuse, that was only going to give me one day. Little did I know that school was going to be the least of my concerns.
I was on the final lap of our patrol when we felt Leah startle awake from the phone ringing inside her house. I admit it was pretty early for phone calls. I pretty much ignored it trying to stay out of Leah's head as much as possible. I was on the other side of our land and started heading towards home when Leah started yelling.
Jacob, Jacob! Leah yelled.
Did you hear?
No, I wasn't paying attention. Is it my dad? What's wrong? I started lunging faster, running through the trees as full speed.
No, it's Bella. My legs bucked out from under me and my chest planted roughly into the dirt. She's back. I didn't have anything to say, but just turned and started heading towards Forks. And she has Edward with her. Once again my legs buckled and this time a large tree broke my stride.
What? How do you know?
Charlie called my mom, I guess he was planning to come by today and he isn't letting Bella out of his sight so he is staying home.
We need to let Sam know. Jared interrupted
A fierce growl erupted from Leah. Grow up Leah! You are going to have to learn to deal with him. He IS your alpha. Jared interjected, taking off towards Sam's house.
Sam needs to know, having a Cullen back changes everything. I agreed, while picking myself up off the ground and started moving again, I guess I had better head home. Is Bella hurt? Everything in me would love to have a fight with Edward, but we needed more information first.
I don't think so. Charlie told mom that Edward carried her home about an hour ago and that she has been sleeping ever since.
What about the rest of the family?
I don't know, Mom asked, but Charlie didn't know. She is planning to call around at the hospital and see if they know if Dr. Cullen is back.
Okay, I'm going to head home and see if Dad can get to Charlie. Maybe he will be able to get more information.
I went home as quickly as four legs could carry me, which I might add was pretty damn fast. As I leaped through the trees I landed on two legs and quickly ran inside, slamming the door behind me.
“Jacob, what have I told you about slamming that damn door!” Billy yelled.
“Sorry Dad. Hey have you heard from Charlie?” Once inside the door I quickly grabbed my shorts from my ankle and slipped them on as I went to Billy's room.
As I walked in the door he was sitting up in bed with a book resting in his lap and I came and sat at the end of his bed. “I just heard Bella's back and brought Cullen back with her.”
I walked over to his dresser, got a sweatshirt, and tossed it to him and he started pulling it over his head while I pulled out some jeans for him to put on and helped him into his chair.
“How did you find out?”
“Leah, heard when Charlie called Sue, I guess he was planning on coming over or something.”
“Ugh”, Billy grunted. “Charlie must be madder at me than I realized, Sue called here just a few minutes ago and apparently Dr. Cullen is back on at the hospital. So I think it is safe to bet all of them are coming back.
“Oh, crap!” I yelled and I could feel my arms start to shake again. “Why can't they just leave her alone!” I paced up and down, feeling the trembling throughout my body.
“Easy there Jake.” Billy reminded.
“Right, calm.” I took a deep breath. “Look Sam is going to want a pack meeting, so I had better go prepare Leah.”
“How's that goin?”
“Ugh”, I grunted. “It is not easy. . .” Sam's howl interrupted my thought, which was sort of a blessing I didn't really know what to say in regards to Leah anyways. “See ya, Dad.” I called as I headed towards the door and into the woods.
As I made it onto four legs I heard loud yelling and cursing between Leah and Paul. What's going on? I asked.
Nothing, Paul is just tired of her crap. Embry sneered.
Well it's about time. Jared responded.
Leah this has got to stop. We all get that you don't want to be here, and that Sam hurt you. You know there was nothing he could do about that. He doesn't want to order you to comply with him, but he will if you give him no other choice. Is that what you want? Paul asked.
No, you stupid ass. Leah sneered.
SILENCE! Both of you! Sam roared. Paul, you will not speak for me. Leah, we are going to have to figure something else out, but for now sit down and shut up. One thing is right, we can not keep going on like this, we all have to be a team and work together.
Sam continued to explain about the return of the Cullen family and the affect that it would have on our patrols. Since Bella left with them and returned with them it was determined that she was their responsibility and under their protection. I didn't like it, but there was nothing more I could do, but wait and hope she would come back to me.
- Jacob's first time to phase outside of his control, not counting his original phasing, was here when Bella leaves to go get Edward.
- For those wondering if wolves can cry, not really. But in Breaking Dawn, Jacob cries a large baseball size tear, so I guess it is possible.
- As for Leah glaring, I figure if they can roll their eyes (something Jacob does often as a wolf) then they can also glare.
- Leah's dirty mind comes from Jacob complaining of “gender confusion” of looking at Sam through her eyes, and Edward mentioning that she thinks of things that the other pack members would rather not think about.
- Seth phasing back quicker and being “skilled” is based on Leah saying that Seth could have a claim for alpha if it weren't for Jacob. (I'm a little bitter about this because it doesn't make sense to me, but facts are facts.)
- Leah was the one who told Jacob that Bella was back. (That was a very difficult fact to figure out how to make come true)
- Charlie was still mad at Billy which is why he didn't call him when Bella came back.
Chapter 19 – TREATY
The past two weeks were not easy. Jacob went back to school which he wasn't happy about. At least most of the pack are there together, but truthfully they look more like a cult than ever before. It was just too difficult to try and explain why they all only hang out together and just “naturally” started getting huge over night. Quil has completely given up on them, and has finally gotten himself a girlfriend to fill up all his free time. It might become an issue when he phases, which seems pretty certain with all the Cullens being back, but we would cross that bridge when we got there.
The pack was a little more stable once Leah could phase back and forth. It took her about ten days to work through her anger and resentment enough to let go of the fire that flows through them. She was ready and wanted to be able to be with her family and to actually have privacy again. Jacob and her were working on it in the woods outside her house, and I happen to be over at the house with Sue when Jacob carried her inside. She was exhausted and weak, but still had enough energy to threaten to dismember every part of his body if he looked at her naked, which I have no doubt Jacob took the threat seriously.
Patrols were restricted to our own land, Jacob constantly complained that it felt cramped compared to the area that they had before, and with so many wolves that left a lot of free time. Oddly, I am thankful for Jacob's tantrum in the garage because it has given him something to do. Even though picking up and reorganizing the place was all well and good, but being in the garage was tough on Jacob. Literally everything (including the mess) reminded him of Bella and I could see how much he missed her.
It had seemed a little strange that the red head hadn't been back in all this time and Sam had become suspicious that maybe the Cullens had run into her. The pack considered her to be our problem and we didn't need nor want their interference. One of them was going to have to talk to the Cullens soon.
It was Saturday morning and I could hear Jacob tossing around on his bed. Jacob had not been sleeping well, I'm pretty sure that he wouldn't be in a great mood regardless, but the lack of sleep had made him even more irrational. Silently he entered my room, got me dressed, and in my chair. Jacob had dark circles under his eyes, his hair was a spiky disarray, and he still had dried mud on his skin from patrols the night before. I hated how he just wasn't taking care of himself, even his sweats seem to hang more limply from his body due to him not eating like he used to.
“Hey Jake why don't you go get cleaned up, while I get breakfast together.”
“Okay.” He took a deep sigh. “Sounds good.”
I rolled to the kitchen as I heard the water start in the bathroom. I went to the refrigerator and grabbed the bacon, and then went to the pantry for waffle mix and the iron. It didn't take Jacob long to wash up and soon we worked around each other in a comfortable silence until the food was cooked. Jake handed me two glasses and I got some orange juice for Jake and some milk for myself and set them on the table, just as he brought the butter and warm syrup to the table.
“Any plans for the day?” I asked.
Talking to Jake was really difficult, he used to chatter so easily. Now everything about him was guarded and anything Bella related just made us both cringe. Unfortunately there wasn't much of anything in his life that Bella hadn't touched.
“Are you ever going to accept Bella's phone calls?” I asked cautiously.
“Then I'm not covering for you anymore. If you are home next time she calls I'll tell her you are here.”
After six large waffles and eight strips of bacon Jacob went to his room mumbling something about homework. I wished that there was something more I could do. I tried talking to Charlie, but his hands were tied, with Bella making it clear that her and Edward were a packaged deal. If Edward were made to leave, she would go too. There were days that I felt I needed to call each of my daughters and thank them that they never put me through that kind of crap. Charlie was miserable, Jacob was miserable, and I just felt trapped between them.
After several hours of working on my homework, I just couldn't handle it anymore. My life was just so empty with nothing to give it meaning. School was never very interesting, but at least the building was a relief, it was about the only place Bella hadn't touched. Patrolling felt stupid and useless, Bella wasn't mine to protect anymore. Would she even notice if we got that stupid leech? Probably not.
Her phone calls every night was the only sign given that she even noticed that I was not around anymore. Each time she calls it was bitter-sweet, sweet because at least she cared and bitter because she cared. Did I not make myself clear when I stood in her kitchen when Alice was here? I told her perfectly clear that she couldn't be friends with them and me at the same time. To try and mix our worlds was just disaster waiting to happen, and Bella should know that. Though she called the house nearly every night, driving my dad insane, but she hadn't actually come here once. Rumor had it that she was attached to Edward's hip like they had never been separated. How Charlie was able to put up with that just made me furious. He was her father! He should be able to do something!! If he wasn't going to soon, I sure as hell was.
I put some lunch together of grilled cheese sandwiches and canned chili. The phone rang and dad answered the phone resting inside his chair.
“Bella?” Billy said, his voice and face evidence of his surprise. I could hear her voice perfectly through the phone and it was a caress of rough sandpaper against my skin. “Is everything alright with Charlie?”
“Yes, Charlie is fine.”
“Then why are you calling?”
“Just checking on Jacob. Is he home?” I could hear the hope in her voice, and it just cut like a knife.
Dad looked right at me, a silent reminder that he was going to tell her the truth. “Yes, he is here.”
I could hear her release her breath. “Can I talk to him?”
Dad arched his brows, knowing that I heard her question perfectly. I silently shook my head. He rolled over reaching the phone towards me. I stood quickly, knocking my chair over as I walked out the front door, letting it bang loudly behind me. It was cold outside and the sky was dark with thick threatening clouds overhead, but I didn't care.
“He doesn't want to talk to you.” I could hear him through the door, but no longer could hear Bella's side. “I'm sorry Bella . . . Okay, I'll tell him . . . Bye.”
I hated doing that to Bella, but I didn't know what else to do. I needed her to let either me or Edward go, how could she not see that she couldn't have us both. I walked over to the garage frustrated and hurting. The only part of the garage I was afraid to touch was staring me right in the face, it's red paint glowed like a beacon. I knew I needed to get rid of that thing, but it wasn't mine to throw away.
As if my mind wasn't tortured enough, I was also worried that the Cullens had a secret plan to make Bella one of them without her realizing it, until it was too late. I was sure that information would bring some realization to Bella that they were not being truthful with her and not near as “good” as she thought they were and hopefully cause her to leave them. If only Bella got some distance from Edward than I was sure that she could break away from whatever spell he had over her.
The only person who had the power to separate Bella from Edward was Charlie, and I thought maybe if she was in trouble than she wouldn't be able to see Edward. Bella and I had lots of secrets, however there was only one that I could actually tell, and that was the motorcycles.
Without further thought I jumped on Bella's red bike and road it to her house. I haven't ridden her bike since I was test driving it, it was smaller and felt different than my own. I went fast, not wanting to lose my resolve. The wind felt great against my hot skin, however the clouds gave the promise that rain would be coming soon. I knew Bella was going to be mad at me, but if she could forgive Edward when he broke her heart than I figured she would forgive me when I broke her trust.
The moment I pulled up Bella's drive way Charlie stepped out the front door, I assume he heard it from inside. I hadn't actually factored in running into Charlie myself, anger washed over his face. I killed the engine letting it roll to a stop.
“What is this, Jacob? Does Billy know you have bike, I swear I will call him this very instant.”
“Chill out Charlie, it's not mine.” I brought myself off the bike, and rolled it right next to Charlie's cruiser and leaned it against the kick stand.
Charlie seemed to take a calming breathe. “Well what are you doing riding that death trap around?”
“I'm bringing it back to Bella.” I said, trying to make it seem like no big deal.
“I guessed since Bella isn't coming around anymore I would just take it to her.”
“This is Bella's bike?” Charlie said with disbelief. I nodded my head in affirmation. “Where did Bella get a bike?” He yelled.
“Honestly don't know.” I shrugged, it didn't seem like an important detail at the time.
“Jacob Black, you tell me every last detail that you know. NOW!” Charlie screamed as he leaned in a few inches from my face.
Geez, maybe this wasn't such a good idea. “Bella brought a couple bikes to me, I fixed them up, and we had been riding around for a few months.” I said as quickly as the words could leave my mouth.
“You could have killed her!”
“I would never let anything happen to Bella.”
The clouds reached their maximum and the rain started fast and hard, big fat drops fell from the sky. Charlie started mumbling to himself and walked back into the house, slamming the door behind him. Considering the alternative I got off pretty easy, however I'm pretty sure that Billy was going to be pissed about the way I handled that.
While I was here I knew that the pack needed to speak with the Cullens so I decided to stay around and waited for Bella and Edward to arrive home. I walked over into the trees behind Bella's house and leaned against a tall trunk, knowing that Edward would be able to find me easily. It didn't take long before the bright silver Volvo parked right next to her motorcycle.
I saw Bella fling herself from the car, her hands clinched in fists and her face reflected her anger. I could see it in the way her teeth clinched tightly together and from the glistening of tears in her eyes. These tears were far different from the last time I saw Bella cry. Oh, what had I done?
“Let me go! I'm going to murder him! Traitor!” She shouted into the trees. Edward must have told her that I was still here waiting. I just watched and waited.
Edward had his arms wrapped around her waist holding her back, “Charlie will hear you. And once he gets you inside, he may brick over the doorway.”
“Just give me one round with Jacob, and then I'll deal with Charlie.” Bella said as she struggled to get herself free. I hated the way he held her back, he was always standing in my way keeping me from Bella. It made me want to just rip his arms from his body, but it really wasn't about Bella, I needed to have a quick conversation with him for the sake of my pack and then I would leave.
“Jacob Black wants to see me. That's why he's still here.” Bella immediately stopped fighting him and for a moment fear danced across her face.
“Talk?” Bella asked.
“More or less.”
I'm not hear to fight you Cullen.
“How much more?” Bella's voice shook. Edward brought his hand and smoothed out her hair from her face, a gesture that I often did myself, and I realized that not fighting him was going to be much harder than I realized.
“Don't worry, he's not here to fight me. He's acting as . . . spokesperson for the pack.”
“We should hurry. Charlie's getting impatient.”
I heard them walking towards me. I knew from the short time I was with Alice that it was not going to be easy, and with Edward it was so personal that I knew it would be even harder. I stood up from the tree careful not to come too close, my wolf saw a vampire in front of me and wanted to strike and the human in me wanted to as well. The slightest hint of anger would probably send me over the edge, so I hardened my emotions and concentrated hard on the task before me.
Edward looked me directly in the eyes and stopped leaving a large space between us, shifting Bella's body behind him clearly in a protective stance. That really wasn't making it easier to remain calm, shouldn't I be protecting her from him not the other way around.
Bella's face kept me grounded. I could see that she was angry, but I also saw her forgiveness shine through. I could see that she didn't like that we were at odds. “Bella,” I acknowledged.
“Why?” She whispered. “How could you do this to me, Jacob?”
I hated hurting her. “It's for the best.”
“What is that supposed to mean? Do you want Charlie to strangle me? Or did you want him to have a heart attack, like Harry? No matter how mad you are at me, how could you do this to him?”
I winced at her remarks. I didn't even think about Charlie, other than knowing he would be angry. I would never want anything bad to happen to him, it was just to get Bella grounded and away from Edward. And to my horror, Edward explained every thought I had to Bella. He had no right!
“Aw, Jake!” Bella groaned. “I'm already grounded! Why do you think I haven't been down to La Push to kick your butt for avoiding my phone calls?”
I was so shocked, why hadn't dad said she was grounded? “That's why?” I was so certain that it was Edward keeping her away and not Charlie.
“He thought I wouldn't let you, not Charlie.” Edward explained.
“Stop that,” I snapped. It was really frustrating having someone prying around inside my head. I would think that I would be used to that with the whole pack mind thing, but that doesn't make it any less irritating. “Bella wasn't exaggerating about your . . . abilities.” I said, making sure he knew that Bella had told me. “So you must already know why I'm here.”
“Yes,” Edward said softly. “But, before you begin, I need to say something.”
Oh I could only imagine what he could possibly say to me. The shaking in my arms continued as I clinched and unclinched my hands.
“Thank you. I will never be able to tell you how grateful I am. I will owe you for the rest of my . . . existence.”
What the crap was this? He was thanking me, what on earth for? I stole a quick glance at Bella and she seemed to be as confused as I was.
“For keeping Bella alive,” Edward clarified. “When I . . . didn't.”
“Edward –,” Bella started to say something and he held up a hand to stop her, with his eyes glued to me.
This was just weird. He was actually taking responsibility for the danger he left Bella in, I couldn't believe it, there was no way he was serious. “I didn't do it for your benefit.”
“I know. But that doesn't erase the gratitude I feel. I thought you should know. If there's ever anything in my power to do for you . . .”
Leave and give her back to me.
He shook his head. “That's not in my power.”
“Whose, then?” I growled, forgetting for a moment that he could just hear my thoughts.
Edward looked over at Bella. “Hers. I'm a quick learner, Jacob Black, and I don't make the same mistake twice. I'm here until she orders me away.”
Bella look deeply into Edward's eyes, “Never,” she whispered.
I could see the devotion that she had for him and it was making me sick, I could feel my stomach start to turn. I didn't really mean to gag out loud, but I am guessing that I did due to Bella's face when she frowned up at me. “Was there something else you needed, Jacob? You wanted me in trouble – mission accomplished. Charlie might just send me to military school. But that won't keep me away from Edward. There's nothing that can do that. What more do you want?”
That hurt, but I wasn't going to show it. She reminded me of the real reason that I was still there and I looked sternly at Edward. “I just needed to remind your bloodsucking friends of a few key points in the treaty they agreed to. The treaty that is the only thing stopping me from ripping his throat out right this minute.”
“We haven't forgotten,” Edward said at the same time that Bella demanded, “What key points?”
“The treaty is quite specific. If any of them bite a human, the truce is over. Bite, not kill.” I emphasized looking directly at Bella, hoping that the idea would scare her away from them.
“That's none of your business.”
“The hell it –” Oh my God, this was far worse than I imagined. I saw the determination in her eyes, the desire and I just couldn't believe it. Up until that point it was just a fear of mine that the CULLENS were wanting Bella to become one of them. I never dreamed that it was Bella who WANTED to be a vampire!! For a moment I lost control of my concentration that was holding the wolf back, he roared inside begging to be set free. I wasn't going to let the wolf take control again, and pressed my hands to my head and closed my eyes in order to be able to concentrate.
“Jake? You okay?” Bella asked anxiously. The sound of her voice was so calming and I could feel the wolf relax some, but was still intense.
“Careful! He's not under control,” Edward warned.
How dare he! “Ugh. I would never hurt her.” Unlike you, you self righteous hypocrite. Knowing full well the overwhelming pain that Edward had caused her. I heard him hiss and my fist clinched to control the tremors that would develop over my body.
“BELLA! YOU GET IN THIS HOUSE THIS INSTANT!” Charlie screamed.
“Crap.” Bella's voice trembled.
My anger evaporated, “I am sorry about that,” I muttered. “I had to do what I could – I had to try . . .”
“Thanks.” I knew the response to be sarcastic despite the tremor that represented her sadness at my betrayal.
Bella and Edward turned back to walk towards the house. “Just one more thing,” Edward said to Bella and then turned and looked at me. “We've found no trace of Victoria on our side of the line – have you?”
“The last time was while Bella was . . . away. We let her think she was slipping through – we were tightening the circle, getting ready to ambush her – ” I paused feeling the irritation rise again that they just kept getting in the way. “But then she took off like a bat out of hell. Near as we can tell, she caught your little female's scent and bailed. She hasn't come near our lands since.”
Edward nodded. “When she comes back, she's not your problem anymore. We'll –”
Oh hell, No. “She killed on our turf,” I hissed. “She's ours!”
“No –” Bella protested.
“BELLA! I SEE HIS CAR AND I KNOW YOU'RE OUT THERE! IF YOU AREN'T INSIDE THIS HOUSE IN ONE MINUTE . . .!
“Let's go,” Edward said. He probably knew how Charlie ended that threat and I was sure it wasn't pretty.
Bella looked back at me and I could see the conflict in her eyes.
“Sorry,” I whispered so softly I wasn't sure if she heard me. “Bye, Bells.”
“You promised,” she reminded me. “Still friends, right?
It was like taking an ice pick to my heart, as I shook my head. “You know how hard I've tried to keep that promise, but . . . I can't see how to keep trying. Not now . . .” My mask fell and I felt the pain of what my life was going to be like with her not in it. Looking her right in the eyes, “Miss you,” I mouthed as my hand reached out begging to touch her.
Bella reached out towards me, like we were one instead of two. “Me, too.” Bella choked out. “Jake . . .” She stepped towards me and for a moment I thought I would be able to wrap her in my arms and let her feel how much I loved her. Until, Edward reached for her holding her back, and I could feel the growl rumble in the back of my throat.
“It's okay.” Bella promised to Edward.
“No, it's not.”
“Let her go,” I snarled. I was so angry that he would keep her away from me. There was nothing unstable about me right now and he should have known that. I was determined to prove it to him as I took two long strides towards her, trying hard to completely ignore the fact that I was also getting closer to a vampire. However the wolf would not be fooled. Edward pushed her behind himself and made himself directly in my path.
“No! Edward! -!” Bella screamed.
“Come on! Charlie's mad!” Bella said concerned. “Hurry!” She tugged on Edward's arm as he relaxed, but didn't take his eyes off me.
I knew that there was nothing more I could do to get to Bella, that realization was painful and despite my efforts I couldn't get that pain off my face. Bella was my everything and I was out of options. Everything that I had tried to do had failed, Bella had made her choice and now she was going to live with the consequences. That included losing me, I was done. I watched her walk away with Edward's arm wrapped around her waist, “I'm here,” were the last words I heard him say, as I bolted into the trees heading home to start a new life.
- Jacob was mad at Charlie for allowing Bella to date Edward. As her father, he felt that he should have done more to keep Edward away.
- Jacob's decision to bring the bike over was impulsive and not thought out.
- Jacob doesn't believe Edward when he apologizes, feels it is a ploy or playing “nice” in front of Bella.
- For Jacob it is an even greater fear that they would make Bella one of them (his greatest fear of ALL), even more than if they would lose control and eat her (however that scares him too).
- Alternate Ending: SM has a pretty different ending than what I have. She ends her summary of NM with Jacob going back to his brothers preparing for war. I feel that “war” completely undermines the emotional issues that Jacob would be feeling from losing Bella. I will address the war preparation in Eclipse.
** To answer where did most of these “facts” come from. Throughout the story they have largely been from a summary that SM wrote called “Becoming Jacob Black” on her website (http://www.stepheniemeyer.com/pdf/nm_extras_jacob.pdf ) and Twilight Lexicon's Personal Correspondence with Stephenie (http://www.twilightlexicon.com/the-lexicon/personal-correspondence ) if you have not read either one they are recommended.
I wanted to take a moment and thank you so much for all your encouragement and support. You all mean the world to me, and I can't believe that I have written 19 chapters over 150 pages of this story. Jacob has always been a special character to me, however during this process he has become like my child, even though I am not old enough to have a teenager. When Jacob is happy, I feel happy, and when he is sad or upset then I feel that pain too. Many have mentioned that it feels that it is actually Jacob speaking, and I very much feel like I have crawled inside his brain and he does “talk”. He has a voice that has been begging to be heard, and I am just thankful that I was able to tell it.
I am thrilled to take this journey into Eclipse. However Eclipse is a rough ride for Jacob and when he goes through a rough time, I have a harder time writing it. I am looking forward to the challenge that it represents, but I know that the journey will take a little longer. Jacob's Eclipse is fully written and complete, however the ended is the same with a very broken and hurting Jacob.
For another alternative, I have written a Jacob/Bella story called Bella's Sun. It is a two part story that is also complete. There are things that I am just dying to have Jacob say to Bella or Edward that he just doesn't say in SM's book and so this may give me the opportunity to say them.