Sorry but I can't love You
He imprinted on her but does he really love her the way she loves him?
Alexander and Dajana.
We will make the perfect couple, but not at the cost of losing my friends.
The fact that he imprinted on me changes everything.
He is always there, protecting me from every little thing.
He is going out of his way to be with me and I don’t know why.
But why do I feel that there is more to it?
Something is missing and no one is telling me.
The truth will be revealed sooner or later.
Or I am sorry to say- Imprint or not- I won’t stay in my first real relationship when it is based on
secrets and lies.
I know I love him and I can’t leave him, ever.
But this new life of mine, which I will share with him, is a broken life and I can’t take the pain that it
brings with it.
Alex has me wishing for things I never thought possible.
He is here with me, but for what?
If it is only because he imprinted on me then he should leave.
I will not give my heart to him because of the pack’s secret and the way it makes him feel.
I need to know what lies in my heart and his, without the wolf side of him.
LOVE or NOTHING
I had the early morning patrol with Seth and Marcus. I left my house around half three and I had to reach my post by four. I took a bath and got ready to leave the house when I heard Seth and Daniel calling me outside.
“Do you guys have any idea what my parents will do you if you wake them up now?” I asked them closing the door behind me. When I finally realized Marcus wasn’t here I asked them, “Where’s Marc?”
“He exchanged with me for the week. He wants the night patrol so he can spend some time with his new imprint.” Daniel explained to me.
I shook my head and we walked back to the woods. Well this was getting really annoying now. Now it only had two of us that didn’t imprint. Daniel and me. Well at least Daniel wasn’t complaining. Or so I thought.
Who said he doesn’t complain? Seth said
He does? I asked Seth
Yeah sometimes. Daniel popped in.
Try a lot. He whines about it for hours and trust me being your age now, knowing I imprinted last year on Tammy, was a hell hole so don’t complain. Seth retorted. Like if he was making a big difference right now.
You say that now but we all know different. You and Tammy are so made for each other. Daniel told him.
Down to the fact that her first meal was me. I was just listening to them until Seth say something I couldn’t believe.
WHAT? Daniel and I quipped at the same time.
Yes, the first human Tammy ever bit was me. She tasted my blood a little after she got back up. It wasn’t funny then but now that, I can look back at it, it kind of makes me laugh. Seth was saying.
She actually bit you? Tammy never tasted human blood even Jake says so. I asked him again.
Embry and Jake don’t want any new pack members to know the truth about some things. Like the fact that Nessie still bites him when they do stuff, then Becka, she isn’t as innocent as she looks. The new pack members, well not you two but the ones after you, thinks Kayla is Jake and Nessie’s. Embry and Becka just watches her most of the time. Seth further explained to us. I still couldn’t believe that this pack hid so many things from one another.
The secrets reach that far? You really can’t trust some pack members. Daniel asked Seth.
They try to cover up the mistakes they make. I mean why lie now when you can just let everyone know the truth and we will work to suit. What will they tell the other pack members when Alec kidnaps Becka again? He did it twice already. Embry was furious with her the second time but she blames it on Alec’s powers. Seth continued to tell us.
That’s what happened last year Christmas right? When most of you guys went missing for a while. Daniel asked Seth.
So they covered up all that and then what? I asked him.
Let’s just forget about it for now. Plus I miss my girlfriend too much to dwell in the past. Seth changed the subject.
Besides what Seth told us about the events that occurred last year, nothing else was interesting today. So it was true about Kayla. Embry and the others keep a lot of secrets from us. I was thinking over some of the things Seth told us and that girl who fainted popped into my head. Why am I thinking about her? I didn’t even get to see her properly, then why is she all I can think about? I took a deep breath and walked into school with Daniel right beside me. Marcus and his new imprint were sitting close to the window in the cafeteria. We walked over to them and Marcus introduced us to his girlfriend, Amelia. The rest of school was boring until we got a text message from Jake saying to meet at Emily’s place at two. After third period I got a message from Jake stating to meet him at his garage for twelve.
I was worried and happy at the same time. If Daniel was right, this might be my very first solo assignment or something. I decided to go by him a little earlier than expected, to have a simple discussion about my assignment.
I was frightened to death and I tried my best fight with the person. Whoever it was was carrying me out of the house and into the forest. Now I was completely freaked. I screamed as loud as I can. It made no difference because it was muffled by the hand covering my mouth and I couldn’t get a clear shot at the person because they were behind me. The next thing I know I was released. Somewhere in the middle of the woods this lunatic released me. I turned to see who it was and it was Embry. What the hell did he think he was doing? I was breathing extremely heavy and he looked like he had now got out of bed. Completely relaxed.
“What the hell? Why did you just kidnap me and bring me here?” I asked him hotly, “If you wanted to talk all you had to do was ask me, I would have said yes.” I stated matter-of-factly.
“Just stay quiet and stand still.” Embry said to me and gestured in the direction, where some twigs snapped. “Look.”
I turned and my heart was literally leaving my body, my throat got tight, I couldn’t breathe. All these feelings occur out of fear.
“Dajana, meet some of the pack members.” Embry whispered. He walked up to them like if it was something natural. I took a step back getting ready to run away, before I heard one of them give a low growl in my direction.
“Embry, I want to go back inside…like now, please.” I said backing into Embry’s arms. The place grew still and silent; the only noise was the howling of the wind.
“This is Jacob, Sam, Jared, Paul, Leah and Collin.” He said pointing at each one in return. I nodded my head and mustered enough strength to walk with Embry to the wolf he called Jacob. I was trembling down to my toes. I gave a nervous giggle when Embry took my hand and placed it on the wolf. I had to admit, but only to myself, that this was kind of a nice experience, because the fur was really soft and ticklish. I was stroking the wolf’s fur without any fear and then I felt strong arms lifting me onto it.
“What the hell?” I yelled fighting in mid air before being actually placed on the wolf’s back. I did not really like this, but the next thing you know the wolf started to walk with me on it.
This was scary and really high.
“Embry, I will like to get off now.” I said to him forcing a smile before it wavered and I looked completely terrified.
“Just hold on, tight. Trust me it is okay.” He yelled and I did as he said right before the wolf broke out in a trot.
I was being carried away by a huge wolf. This was not what I had planned for my day today.
“Where is it taking me?” I yelled at him.
“To his dad’s place for a better explanation. I’ll be there shortly to bring you back later okay.” He yelled back and I shook my head. This was not going to end good at all.
Jacob started to run through the forest and then stopped at the clearing to Billy’s place. Even though the journey was a short one, I enjoyed it.
“Time to come off now.” I heard Jared’s voice saying from the side of me. I looked down at him and wondered when he got here.
“How?” honestly I wanted to know if he was going to build me some steps to come off? I can’t see myself jumping off from this height.
“The same way you got up there. Just put your feet over to this side and slide off. I’ll catch you.” He said smiling. I don’t see anything to smile about but if he didn’t catch me and I hit the ground extremely hard. If I’m still okay, I’ll kick his butt.
I did everything I was told and Jared caught me and we walked straight to the house so Billy would start to explain everything to me.
Jared held the door open for me and I entered the house. No one was home, but I followed Jared through the back door and there I saw Mr. Black and some other parents sitting in a circle. I took a seat with the others and listened to the entire history of this tribe. I found it really sad but then it was. So vampires were our enemies, and they have been for a while, and I still don’t understand why they get along so well with the Cullen’s and the Denali’s. I was beginning to feel a little tired and I gave a small yawn before I started to walk back to the Black’s house. I know it was morning time, 9 or 10 a.m. give or take a hour, but I was so tired so I dozed off on Jacob’s couch when I got back inside.
Glad you wrote back..
The lunch bell rang and I couldn’t wait to get to Jake’s garage. I mean I was going to get my very first assignment today. I was about to grab my bag and head out of class when Seth called my name and I turned to face him and some of the pack in the cafeteria.
“I need to ask you something,” Jared called after Seth. I knew this would be another imprint question but what the heck. I walked over to them and took a seat next to Jared.
“What is it now?” I asked very sarcastically, know this is a question about what Edith would like.
“It’s about Dajana’s birthday. She’ll officially turn 17 in five days, we were thinking about throwing her a beach party.” Jared said and Collin continued for him.
“But we don’t know what she likes. All the girls are cooped up at Embry’s while know-it-all Alice is going on a fifth honey moon with Jasper today. Edward isn’t telling us anything so we are at a lost.”
“This is important to me how?” I asked them. I don’t even know this Dajana girl. I haven’t even seen her properly.
“You’re her new guardian or so to speak. So we’re hoping you can get to know her properly enough to help us out?”
“I’m her what? No, no, no. I’m not going to be protecting her – that impossible and beyond reason – I can’t even stand you guys and your girlfriends but to protect one. That’s too much. I need to talk to Jake and I mean now.” I said getting up from my seat and walking to the exit. “Later guys.”
It was not going to be protection assignment. I can’t stand any of those girls, but to protect one. This is going to be a nightmare without sleeping. I ran as fast as I could to Jake’s garage. The door was half way opened and I walked in to find Jake fixing an engine.
“I am not protecting Dajana.” I said harshly to him. “There is no way you can force me to protect her. I don’t even know her and I am sure I won’t even like her. She’s one of them, she’ll be spoiled and annoying and bossy and I will want to kill her myself.” I continued and Jake just stared at me, or was it behind me? “Jake, please change that assignment give it to Marcus or someone else. I’ll take up an extra patrol duty just not protection to one of your girlfriend’s friends.”
“Hmm. Alex, do you even know why I picked you for this assignment?” Jake asked me. Like I would want to know why he picked me to watch one his imprint’s friends.
“No and I have no intentions of finding out, just please give someone else this stupid assignment.” I was furious beyond control. I swore I was going to phase. “I will not protect Dajana Call, not even if it was my last life line.”
“And who said I need your protection? Look you idiota, I don’t need you for anything. I surely don’t like you myself, so it makes no sense you getting all worked up about something I didn’t agree too.” I heard a female voice say from behind me. I had a good idea who it was but I wasn’t going to look around and see her face expression if she heard everything I said to Jacob. But I was at a lost, I couldn’t believe I didn’t sense her or smell her behind me. I watched Jake get up from behind the engine he was working on and walked towards me. He stopped short at my side and said quite calmly, “I don’t care if you two hate each other but all I care about is the safety of the people in this town.” He glanced sideways at me and continued, “Work out a system and try to get along.” He smiled at me and then turned to face her, “I’ll leave you two to work out your problems.” He patted my shoulder and walked out the garage.
A few minutes later, she turned, most of her weight shifted to one of her feet, and left the barn with a frustrated grunt. I slumped my shoulders and sighed with relief. I knew this will be the most stressful and time consuming assignment I will ever get. I turned and followed her scent back to the track leading to Embry’s house. I walked slowly following her scent – knowing exactly where she was going – with a head over working this situation Jake left us in. I didn’t really take in my surroundings until I walked passed Embry’s house and now I was heading back out of the Reservation. Where the hell was she going? I heard a twig snap in the forest to my right and I was now on full alert. I took a strong sniff of the air, just to be certain there wasn’t any blood suckers around. I got the scents of some mountain lions and deers. Well at least she was safe. I thought to myself. I started to walk faster after I notice she wasn’t anywhere on the road up ahead. She must have taken a car somewhere along the way, back to the city.
“Great. Just great. I’ll kill her before that vampire gets to her.” I said to myself, full of rage. I cut through the forest and phased and ran straight towards town. I got to the end of the forest just in time to see her coming out of a car. I phased and dress before walking out of the forest behind her. She stood I stayed a little distance behind her, I still couldn’t see her face properly, but I kept her scent in mind.
She walked four more blocks before she stopped a car and got into it. I flagged down a taxi and told it to follow the white Prius. The taxi took me to the rich side of town and I was really feeling uncomfortable. I wondered how spoiled she was in real life. The car in front of the taxi stopped directly in front of a three storey, white and brown house with a garden the size of my front porch. Wow. She’s the mayor’s daughter or the senator’s daughter. I watched her walk out the car and headed to the front door through the huge black metal gate. I told the taxi driver to stop at the next house and I got out after paying him. I looked at her walking briskly up to the door before inserting the key and turning the door knob open. I walked up to the door a little after she closed it and knocked. I really hoped this works. I thought to myself. When I heard a rustling noise on the other side of the door, I was having doubts about talking to her directly, so I dashed for the nearest corner of the house and hid from her. The door opened and there stood a well bred tanned angel. I swore someone stole the ground from under my feet as I peeped at this brown-eyed beauty.
She was absolutely perfect and gorgeous in every way possible. My heart was beating at a pace I never knew existed. I stared at her turning her head in every direction looking for the person who knocked on the door. If this isn’t love that I feel then Lord help me….
My mind was racing with alternate reasons why I could feel this way for a complete stranger. Dajana turned and walked back inside and locked the door and I decided then to leave from here. My heart ached to see her once more, but I wont let my feelings get the best of me.