What if . Bella decided to reach over and kiss Jacob in her truck? Would that change how she feels about Jacob over all ? Knowing the feelings he has for her,knowing he could give her more. Knowing,she wouldn't have to change for him...
[Disclaimer]; not everybody posts the disclaimers in their fanfiction,but i'm going to. ;) Idon't own Twilight,or any of the characters in it. All belong to Stephenie Meyer- All though I wish I did.(;
A/N; I hope you enjoy ... :) & I'm starting at chapter 1 :)
Chapter 1; One Last Look.
My fingers were curled tightly around the steering wheel,as i stared out ahead of us. We were in front of Charlies-though his cruiser was missing. I bite the inside of my lip,my brows mashed together,listening to Jacob's breathing. He was staring out the window,as we sat in my old truck silently. Sometimes, I wish I knew what he was thinking,and then he let out a breath.
"What are you thinking,Bells?" he asks,breaking the awkward silence.
I loosen my grip on the steering wheel,and lean into the seat-sighing,"I,was ... Going to ask you the same thing." I tell him,glancing side-ways. He was still looking out the fogged window.
" You really want to know what i'm thinking about?" he questions,now turning to look at me.
His stare sent shivers through-out my body,and his question made me think about how to answer. Do I want to know what he's thinking about? The way he said it,makes me wonder if it's a bad thing- something I actually don't want to know. But,maybe I'm just over-thinking. I do want to know what he's thinking about,but,maybe when I do know-I'll regret asking what he was thinking about.
I'm over-thinking... I think.
I nod,"Tell me what you're thinking about Jake."
He smirks,his eyes slightly lidded."You." he whispers."Always..."
I sigh,and smile weakly."Jacob..."
He shakes his head,and takes my hands off the wheel-and into his hands,mine so small compared to his. I look down,not wanting to stare into his eyes-knowing it would be for the best. I think. Because,if I fall in love with Jake ... I'm just going to end up hurting him,when Edward comes back. Eward will come back,I know it... Jacob is my best friend,and i can't stand,loosing him.
"Bella,I love you. I've always loved you. And you know that,I know you know that." He sighs,"Bells,look at me. Please." I bit my lip,and shook my head.
"I can't." I whisper.
One hand disapeared from mine,and moved swiftly under my chin. Forcing me to look up at him,I tried to look away from his face,but mine landed on his. His gaze so intense,I couldn't look away. His hot breath was circulating around my face,the woodsy scent i always loved-intoxicating me. Wanting me to move closer to it. But I stayed where I was,our gazes interlocked.
I was waiting for him to say something,but he just remained speechless;his lips parted-as in lost in thought. I bit down on my lip hard,as the silence intensified. Just when realization hit me. My fingers slowly,crawling up his arms-as his hands hooked onto my waist-pulling me into his lap.
Jacob can never be just a friend to me. I've always seen noticed him,always known he was attractive to me in some way.But,Edward...
"I can't hurt you." I mumble,my lips brushing across his in the process. I never noticed how close we were until now.
"Do you love me?" he asks,his eyes closed-waiting for my answer.
I press my lips tightly together,curling my hands into fists-agaist his covered chest. "I..." i press my lips back together,taking a stead breath.
[for now... watching Salt :3]
Hope u update soon! Cant wait for more! :) :) :) :) :) :)
I'm updating tonight(:
yeah yeah i love it thank you
Chapter 37 ; Your Song
But the sun's been quite kind.
There was a loud knock,before I heard the door swing open with Carlisle standing in the door frame with two giant suitcases in his hands. He cocked his head to the side,and I couldn't help but wonder what he could be thinking that made him suddenly stand so still,but so relaxed with a small smile on his face.
"The image before me Bella,you have no idea how wonderful it is." He whispers,smiling.
I glanced down at Jacob's face that was still resting on my stomach,my lips trembling,"I'm sorry Carlisle,that I had to call you,I know you probably hate me,for what I did to Edward,but I only trust you,especially with my baby."
He nods,"No worries Bella,Edward has gone up to the Denali clan,to... Cope. He'll be fine,the one who should be apologizing is me for my sons behaviour. It was beyond acceptable. But,how are you doing?" he asks,quickly changing the subject.
"I think I'm okay,Jacob... He kind of," I blush,"I think he somehow talked to,the baby,and calmed it..." I bite down on my lip hard.
Calisle nods,"I believe you. I'm just going to take a look,would you mind waking up Jacob?"
I nod slowly,propping myself up on my stomach,running my hand through Jake's hair as I whispered his name in his ear.
"Come on Jake,it's time to get up." I say a little louder,and he starts to stir,his eyes slowly opening and then he shot up instantly looking around.
"Oh,Carlisle. It's just you." He muttered,wiping his eyes,"Oh,Bella! Are you okay?!" His hands came to my face,caressing my cheeks.
I nod,smiling softly,"I'm okay,but Carlisle needs to take a look."
He sighs,"Alright." He stands up stretching,"I'm gonna go see what there is to eat," then he walks out of the room.
Carlisle started pulling out all of these unknown objects,that I have seen in his office."I want to do an ultra-sound,just to see how he is growing,or her,I think I might even be able to tel lthe gender of it."
I smile nervously,"Okay..."
I have to admitt,I would like to know whether my child was a girl or a boy,instead of having to call it an it all the time. But it still always scares me knowing that I really am pregnant,and the worst part is : I can't tell anyone. The only people that do know is Edward,Seth,Jacob and Carlisle. I can't even tell Charlie,or Renee,which makes me feel like such a bad daughter. They should be able to know. But,it's for the safety of us all to not have any contact with eachother.
He rolled up my shirt,and I stared up at the ceiling as he attatched different cords to my wrists,and my stomach. I started to hum one of my favourite songs,that Renee sang all the time. Your Song by Elton John,a very sweet song I think.
It's a little bit funny,this feeling inside,I'm not one of those who can easily hide.
I don't have much money,but boy if I did,I'd buy a big house where,we both could live.
If I was a sculpter,but then again,no. Or a girl who makes potions in a travelling show.
I know it's not much,but it's the best I can do. My gift is my song and this one's for you.
"And you can tell everybody,this is your song... It may be quite simple but,hey,now that it's done. I hope you don't mind,I hope you don't mind,I put it down in words,how wonderful life is,while you're in the world." Jacobs voice was suddenly flowing gracefully by my ear.
I glanced over at him,"Keep singing."
He smiles his smile,that one that always made me remember the days before he was a werewolf. And he continued,"I sat on the roof,and kicked off the moss,well a few of the verses well they've got me quite cross. But the sun's been quite kind while I wrote this song,it's for people like you that keep it turned on." he closed his eyes,and I took his hand,closing mine too,enjoying the sound of his voice. "So excuse me forgetting,these things I do. You see I've forgotten if they're green or they're blue,anyway the thing is what I really mean,yours are the sweetest eyes,I've ever seen..." He let the note flow out between his lips,and stopped singing-so I opened my eyes to meet his,"Yours are the sweetest eyes,I've ever seen." He repeated,but this time in a whisper.
"I hope you don't mind,I hope you don't mind,that I put it down in words. How wonderful life is,while you're in the world..." I finished,a small msile playing on my lips as one formed on his. He kissed me softly,before pulling back,and standing up.
"You have a gorgeous voice Bella." Carlisle comments,"You too Jacob,would've never guessed. And you both would sound almost perfect together."
"Maybe that's why we're together." Jacob points out,chuckling.
I snort,"Yeah,that's it."
Carlisle stands back up,"Well,do you want to hear the good news,or the bad news first?" He sighs.
Jacob cocks a brow,"There's bad news?!" He growels.
"Bad news first please,I take bad news pretty well." I tell him.
He takes in a deep breath,"Well,your child certainly does have the,er,wolf genes. So when it is moving,it is fairly strong,but there shouldn't be very much damage,but it will be painful." He explains.
Jacob groans,"Why?" he whines,"Why me?"
I shake my head,"That can't be the bad news."
Carlisle purses his lips,"It will hurt,a lot. It will be growing at an incredibly fast rate,not as much as if it were to be a vampire,but because of the strength,you will be in pain a lot..." He sighs,"How about for some good news?"
"Enlighten me." Jacob grumbles.
"Your child,is a girl."
I smile widely,just like in my dreams,a small little girl with flowing dark brown hair,and small,soft pink lips,filled my mind,and my eyes started to water,"Really...?"
Carlisle nods,"Yes,and I have a few antobiodics for you,when you're in pain,it will kind of numb it away. I'll tell Jacob everything,and write it down just in case you forget." He looks over at Jacob,and starts explaining the amount I should take,but I stopped listening as I let my mind wander.
A girl. How lucky could I be?
"But,there's more... Bella." Carlisle suddenly said."She is strong,but she's having difficulty... Keeping,together."
That broke me right out of my reverie,"What do you mean? Keeping together?"
Jacob looked over at Carlisle too,his eyes full of worry,"Yeah,what do you mean?!"
"She's having a shortage of breathing,her heart beats slower than it should be."
Jacob looks over at me,the words that came out of his mouth surprised me,and left an after sting,"You slept with him didn't you!" He accused.
I gaped at him,"No! I didn't! What do you mean! No!"
Carlisle sighs,"No,she didn't. I am not one-hundred percent sure yet,I've never dealt with a werewolf child before. I will have to do some research,I'll stay near in town to keep in touch." He says,gathering his stuff.
"You're leaving now?" Jacob asks.
"She just needs to relax,make her some peppermint tea,and make sure she is well cushioned. I should be back later tonight,or early tomorrow morning." He explains.
Jake nods,and I feel bad for him having to do everything."Will do,thanks Carlisle."
He nods,and then disapears out of the room.
"I can't believe myself!" Jacob growels,"How could I be so careless?"
"Jacob,stop,don't beat yourself up for this. It's not your fault. If you were any other boy that had gotten me pregnant,I'm sure I'd still be in pain."
"I know,but,you really want this baby,what if... What if she doesn't make it?"
I sat up on my knees,pulling Jacob onto the bed,"She will."
"You don't know that..." He mutters,his face dipping down to my neck,pressing his lips along my collar bone.
"I have faith,and hope that she will make it. And she will have an amazing father,and mother to look after her... We'll all make it through." I tell him,kissing the top of his head.
He layed me back down,and rolled onto his side,sighing."I love you,so much Bella."
"I love you too,never forget that."
His finger runs along my cheek bone,"I will never forget."
His finger traces the outline of my lips,"I have to go see if I can get a reading with the pack... Will you be okay?"
I nod quickly,"Yeah sure. But,what if they find out that you've runaway with me? What if they find out about me,our daughter?"
"I know how to guard my thoughts very well,I just need to see what's going on." He tells me.
His eyes sparkled slightly,and I smile,"Alright,I'll be here." I kiss his cheek.
"Yours are the sweetest eyes,I've ever seen." He whispers,before getting off the bed.
Thank you very much(:
&& Happy Halloween everyone<3
I am going to try to add another chapter tonight(:
Chapter 38 ; One and Only.
You've been on my mind,I grow fonder everyday,
Lose myself in time,just thinking of your face,
God only knows why it's taken me so long to let my doubts go,
You're the only one that I want.
He was back in an hour,the door swung open-almost smacking off the wall,one of the nails in the hinge flew out. My eyes grew wide at the sight of the man in front of me,his eyes darkened,his face hard,tight,his jaw locked,his hands in fists at his side as his whole frame shook with anger. His cheeks took on a deep shade of red as he kept his jaw set so tight together,beads of sweat accumulating on his forehead from the clear frustration and anger.
"Jacob..." I breathed,my voice caught in my throat not sure how to handle his expression,or how he would react.
He turned around swiftly,his fist pounding into the wall.creating a massive gap in the wall,some of the dry-wall crumbling to the floor. I stared at him in disbelief,my head swirling and my eyes watering,not sure how to take this angry side of Jacob,that I've never dealt with before. I mean I've seen Jake a little upset,but this is beyond upset.
"Jake,please... Be careful." I warn him,slowly getting up off the bed,cautiously taking a step towards him,wanting to wrap my arms around him in comfort.
"Don't you dare tell me to be careful,Bella! Don't you God damned tell me what to do!" He shouted back,pointing his finger at me,his eyes started collecting tears at the corner,and he threw his fist at the wall again,only two centimeters apart from the other hole.
"Jacob! Please!" I grabbed his hand,trying to prevent him from tearing the place down. "Be rational."
He snorts,"You're telling me."
I shoved his hand away,"What's that supposed to mean?!"
He rolled his eyes,shaking his head,"Nevermind."
I shake my head,"No,tell me. Cause I'm starting to think it's not the wolf kicking,but you have a small case of bipolar." I shot at him.
He scoffs,"Bipolar? You're unbelievable!"
"Okay,a large case of bipolar."
He growels,slamming the door shut-the other nail popping out of its hinge,making the whole door collapse."Great. Just freaking great!"
"You should've listened to me,and that wouldn't've happened." I pointed out,crossing my arms.
He rolls his eyes,"You're not my mom."
"You're not my child either."
"I never said I was."
"No,but you're acting like it."
He chuckles darkly,"Whatever Bella."
"What's the problem! You come in here,tearing apart the wall,then break the door,talk to me like I'm sort of thug that you took in off the street that's about to steal your most prized possesion."
He just shakes his head,"Doesn't matter."
I sigh,clicking my tongue,my arms still crossed under my chest."Yeah,it really does Jake. You matter to me. You're behaviour right now is beyond acceptable. I am a pregnant women for crying out loud! I'm not supposed to be dealing with so much stress,and you're stressing me out!" I cried,this time unlocking my arms to through them in the air for emphasis.
He sighs,his head drooping,his fists unclenched,but then re-clenched."I'm sorry. I shouldn't've acted so childish. I don't mean to stress you out,I don't mean to hurt you. I would blame it on the anger that comes with the wolf genes,but I know I can control it... Please,forgive me."
I slouched back down onto the bed,putting my head in my hands,"What happened?"
He sighs,again,then plops down onto the bed beside me,his shoulders hunched over."It's Seth,he decided to go out of Hoquiam,and La Push,into Forks. He was attacked." He explained,and my lips started to tremble,"Bella,I don't think he's okay." His voice was thick,of , remorse,and regret.
I knew he was thinking that we should've taken him with us. I would've,we should've. Leaving Seth alone? Leah will never look us in the eyes again,Sue will never want to be apart of my life,maybe that will even affect her relationship with Charlie. Oh,if I ruined Charlie's happiness,I would never be able to be happy myself. This just isn't fair! Charlie and Sure are bestfriends! And Seth. My thoughts atuomatically keyed on Seth. Seth,Seth,Seth.
I was just realizing the worst part. Seth,isn't okay. He's not going to be okay,not now,not ever.
My lips started to tremble once again,"He's... He's not going to be okay?"
Jake shook his head,"I wish I could say he could,but I'd be lieing. The pack is returning soon,but we have to keep on moving. They still don't know that I'm with you,and that we're gone. We can't ever go back,Bella. It's far too dangerous. We have to go far,far away from here."
My lips parted slightly,as I hiccuped back my tears,"This isn't fair!"
"Life isn't fair. It never will be. No one has the exception of a fair life."
"Stop being so negative!" I cried,rubbing the side of my head.
He holds up his hands deffensively,"It's hard to think of positive things right now,when only negative things are running through my mind. The only thing stopping me from going on a rampage,is you. You have no idea how broken up I am right now,he was like the little brother I never had. Bella,my insides are crying,threatening to tear apart."
I throw myself at him,burrying my face in his neck,sobs raking through my body,"Cry with me Jacob. Let it all out."
I felt a tear drip onto my shoulder,and I hugged him tighter as he wrapped his arms back around me,squeezing me to him,his voice breaking into sobs,"This is so hard."
I nod,"I know,I know." I squeeze my eyes shut,letting all the tears flow,as Jake did the same.
I don't know how long we stayed like that,just crying in eachothers arms. Eventually I felt my mind drift away,darkness overcoming me.
His legs ran faster,the adrenaline pulsing through-out his body,a small smile spreading across his face,it's been weeks since he last phased,and he couldn't get the excitment out of his body,and mind. His paws hit the ground,kicking up dust,and he let out a long sigh.
He missed the feeling of the earth beneath his feet. The feeling of the wind whipping past him,as he dashed at an unimaginable pace. He closed his eyes,letting the feeling of it wash over him,letting the moment last.
But then something strong came across his senses,his nose burning with disgust. His eyes watering from the incredible stench.
Then he came to a sudden hault,gazing into blood red eyes.
"If you don't tell me where they are,you will not do anything again." The hard voice said.
The young wolf shook his head back and forth.
"Then so be it. Phase back,young one." The vampire commanded.
The wolf backed away slowly,he could take him down quickly,but his thoughts were not guarded. The vampire's brows quirked."You have nowhere to run." The vampire mused.
He phased suddenly,bare at the foot of the monster."I don't know where they are. You could've read my thoughts for that one."
"Very true. But,I know you wolves have learned to guard your thoughts very well."
"Edward,please,don't do this. It would be crossing a line that doesn't need to be crossed." The young wolf begged.
"Then a line shouldn't've been crossed in the first place." Edward snarled,getting into a crouch.
I shot forward,and a sudden pain surged through my now aching body. I turned to my side to see Jacob lieing down beside me,his face stained with tears. I bit down on my lip,and gently shook him,we needed out of here,and quick. I shook him again,whispering his name over and over.
"Come on Jake!" I yelled now,and he jumped.
"What-what's wrong?" He wonder,rubbing his eyes.
"We need to get out of here."
"I know,but we can rest a little while." He tells me.
I shake my head,"I don't think so. We need to get out of here,and quick. I have a really bad feeling,and usually all those bad feelings are right. So,we need to get out of here as soon as we can."
He nods his head quickly,standing up and gathering our stuff,"Alright Bella,get your purse,I got everything else,we'll be out of here in no time."
"Thanks Jake. I really do owe you one." I tell him.
"You love me,that's all I need."
"I hope so. Love is all I have for you right now." I tell him,with a small smile.
"And and my child." He counters.
I giggle,"Her too."
Two hours had passed,we were on our way to Vancouver,Canada. Roughly five more hours,and we'd be there. Every now and then we'd stop,and I'd just break into tears,and Jacob would cradle me in his arms. Sometimes,I'd do the same for him.
"I always thought that people lived in Igloos in Canada." Jacob mused.
"Do you ever study world geography?" I wonder,rolling my eyes.
"You are two years older than me."
"I learned it in grade five."
He scoffs,"Well,our education isn't as spectacular as your Phoenix education."
"What about your english? Nevermind,don't answer that. I know that answer."
"No problem." I wink,and then yawn-stretching. It was around nine o'clock at night. But we weren't stop until we get there.
My eyes started to get droopy,as I felt the need for a very heavy sleep. Yeah,that sounds good,a very nice sleep.
I glance over at Jacob,"Yeah?"
He reaches over to the stereo,turning it up slightly,"This is my jam." He snickers.
I roll my eyes,and close them again,letting the words of the song drift into my mind.