What if . Bella decided to reach over and kiss Jacob in her truck? Would that change how she feels about Jacob over all ? Knowing the feelings he has for her,knowing he could give her more. Knowing,she wouldn't have to change for him...
[Disclaimer]; not everybody posts the disclaimers in their fanfiction,but i'm going to. ;) Idon't own Twilight,or any of the characters in it. All belong to Stephenie Meyer- All though I wish I did.(;
A/N; I hope you enjoy ... :) & I'm starting at chapter 1 :)
Chapter 1; One Last Look.
My fingers were curled tightly around the steering wheel,as i stared out ahead of us. We were in front of Charlies-though his cruiser was missing. I bite the inside of my lip,my brows mashed together,listening to Jacob's breathing. He was staring out the window,as we sat in my old truck silently. Sometimes, I wish I knew what he was thinking,and then he let out a breath.
"What are you thinking,Bells?" he asks,breaking the awkward silence.
I loosen my grip on the steering wheel,and lean into the seat-sighing,"I,was ... Going to ask you the same thing." I tell him,glancing side-ways. He was still looking out the fogged window.
" You really want to know what i'm thinking about?" he questions,now turning to look at me.
His stare sent shivers through-out my body,and his question made me think about how to answer. Do I want to know what he's thinking about? The way he said it,makes me wonder if it's a bad thing- something I actually don't want to know. But,maybe I'm just over-thinking. I do want to know what he's thinking about,but,maybe when I do know-I'll regret asking what he was thinking about.
I'm over-thinking... I think.
I nod,"Tell me what you're thinking about Jake."
He smirks,his eyes slightly lidded."You." he whispers."Always..."
I sigh,and smile weakly."Jacob..."
He shakes his head,and takes my hands off the wheel-and into his hands,mine so small compared to his. I look down,not wanting to stare into his eyes-knowing it would be for the best. I think. Because,if I fall in love with Jake ... I'm just going to end up hurting him,when Edward comes back. Eward will come back,I know it... Jacob is my best friend,and i can't stand,loosing him.
"Bella,I love you. I've always loved you. And you know that,I know you know that." He sighs,"Bells,look at me. Please." I bit my lip,and shook my head.
"I can't." I whisper.
One hand disapeared from mine,and moved swiftly under my chin. Forcing me to look up at him,I tried to look away from his face,but mine landed on his. His gaze so intense,I couldn't look away. His hot breath was circulating around my face,the woodsy scent i always loved-intoxicating me. Wanting me to move closer to it. But I stayed where I was,our gazes interlocked.
I was waiting for him to say something,but he just remained speechless;his lips parted-as in lost in thought. I bit down on my lip hard,as the silence intensified. Just when realization hit me. My fingers slowly,crawling up his arms-as his hands hooked onto my waist-pulling me into his lap.
Jacob can never be just a friend to me. I've always seen noticed him,always known he was attractive to me in some way.But,Edward...
"I can't hurt you." I mumble,my lips brushing across his in the process. I never noticed how close we were until now.
"Do you love me?" he asks,his eyes closed-waiting for my answer.
I press my lips tightly together,curling my hands into fists-agaist his covered chest. "I..." i press my lips back together,taking a stead breath.
[for now... watching Salt :3]
Can't wait :)
omg its sooooo good more more when is she going to have the baby??
I'm a fairly new reader and I LOVE!!!!! your story!!!! I just caught up to where you are, today. And I'll seriously die if you don't write more soon!!
more more more i love it when you write storys like this please write more!
I just read this whole thing wonderful! Please don't let Jake die... or have them split up!!!! God this makes Edward look like a total jerk.... I LOVE IT!
yes i know i love it 2 and i dont want jake to die or them split up
.i really love your story... keep going!.. :)
Thank you ! :)
& I'm gonna add half of a chapter tonight :)
Jacob's Point Of View.
Chapter 42; The End Of a New Beginning.
Three months later ~
I cradled her head in my arms,as she let every tear slide down her cheek,every ragged breath catch in her throat. Her beat unevenly, as she unraveled. Sometimes I wonder if Life just felt like kicking us in the ass all the time,like Life was a bully and were it's main victims. I kissed her forhead gently,trying to hold myself together. I couldn't let myself go,not anymore,I have to be forever strong for Bella. I will be her everything,and anything.
"Shh,honey,I got you." I murmerd into her hair,my eyes shutting tightly.
Her sobs just continued,as she was unable to speak.
I sighed. Images of all that we've been through swept through my mind,as I held her to my chest- in our room,on our bed,in our house,I still couldn't get myself to call it home. Especially now more than ever. I don't know if it was karma finally catching up to me for all those times I secretly stole a beer from my dad,or, Life just litterally needed someone to throw around.
She raises an eye brow,"Did you really like her?" She asks me,honestly. Engaged in the story,the way I described her.
I flashed me a wicked grin,"I did,yeah. Well, I thought I did. I knew it wouldn't last that long,because she waas older than me. " he rolls his eyes,"She's a pain in my ass now. Treats me like garbage,but that's normal because I treat her the same way." I smirks.
"You remember her name then don't you?" She asks,squinting my eyes.
I nod,laughing."It's embarrassing."
Her lips jut out,in a sexy pout,"Oh C'mon. It can't be thaat bad!"
I nod,chuckling."But it is! She's like three years older than me. And she's a complete bi-" I cut myself off laughing,as I think of something.
I groan,and glare at him."Tell me!" She begs ,crossing my arms into her chest.
"Okay,okay,okay. Fine... Leah." I admitt,finally.
She bites her lip,trying to stop the laughter from exploding. But fails,and rolls off the chair onto the ground,clutching her stomach-and dieing of laughter.
I sigh,and stand up walking over to one of the drawers,pulling out a wrench and examining it."Told you..."
She collects herself,and is able to say,"Clearwater? Leah Clearwater?" She asks,not believing me.
I nod,'Yeahh. Apearently she dated me out of pity. But that's only what she says now. Maybe that's why she hates me so much,but then she found Sam,and then Sam broke her heart. And now she's a bitter piece of crap."
She stands up,and walk over to me,"Was she happy with you though?"
I chuckled,my eyes twinkling."We had all sorts of fun together. Bashing the popular peoples' parties. The school dance. And ... Other stuff." I trailed off , putting the wrench back into the drawer,and turned around to face her. "But I've never liked anyone ... As much as I've liked you." I whispered.
She nods,"Tell me what you're thinking about Jake."
I smirks,my eyes slightly lidded."You." I whisper."Always..."
She sighs,and smile weakly."Jacob..."
We barged through the thick old wooden doors,and there stood Bella,unprotected.
"Jake-No!" She screamed,her eyes widen,terrified.
She never really did have faith in me.
"I love you," She murmers,"I really do."
I nod,"I know you do." I whisper.
She looks up at me,my lips pressed into a tight line-I was looking away from her."I'm really sorry,Jacob. I really am,I-I..." She sighs,"I don't know what I was thinking."
I let out a long breath,"Bella..." I shakes my head,and adjusts myself- I look straight into her eyes,"It was the right thing to do,for you. That's just how you are. You're thoughtful,caring,beautiful,sometimes brave-sometimes shy,you get embarrassed easily,sometimes you think everything'll be your fault,and you hate seeing people upset-especially the ones you love the most. Bella,you're ... Just,you." I lift my shoulders,and press my lips to her forehead.
Tears start streaming down her face,"Why are you doing this? You should be mad at me,you should be ... Everything you're not being! I don't deserve this,I don't ..." she was lost for words,she couldn't piece them together,"Please forgive me,please... Just," I placed my hand over her mouth,rolling my eyes.
"You're pathetic. I'm not mad. I'm a little upset,yeah. You kind of tore me apart,what can I say. You happy now? You tore me right in half when you left for him. Just when I thought I had you,I lost you again. You slipped right through my fingers,and I couldn't gather you back. You wanted to slip away,and I couldn't stop you." my voice broke ,and she cringed. But I wasn't stopping there,"I thought you were leaving because you still love him,and if you do I can live with that. Well,I'll try to. I promised I'd never leave you,so- can you promise me something?" I ask,my eyes glazed with tears-but I kept blinking them back.
She nods,"Anything. What do you want? I'll promise,I promise. Just,please-I'm so sorry." She mumbled.
"Don't leave me." I whisper,"Ever. Because,that I can't live with. I can't live without you." I pulled her from her seat into my lap,squishing her to my chest. Completely aware of everyone else that could be watching us.Ot felt like it was just her and I in the room though. Maybe this should've been done in a more private manour.
She placed her hands on either side of my face,"I'd never." She breathed,almost taken back that I'd think of such a thing."I'd never leave you Jake,ever. You're my best friend,my ... Boyfriend,though that seems as an understatement. You're more of a,my - lover. I guess you could say. I really ,really,really,really,really,re-" I cuts me off by pressing my lips to mine once,but it was enough
"I get it," I chuckle,"And I really love you too."
Up until recently,when Rae had come in to check up on Bella.
Her face was suddenly a dark shadow,she looked down.
"What , what is it?" Bella asked,impatiently.
I look at Rae,my eye brows raised-waiting for an answer.
"She..." She trailed off,sighing.
Bella's eyes lit up,as did mine."A she?"
My eyes started watering,"Here that Bella?! A baby girl!" I seemed too excited.
Rae nods,though her eyes were filled with remorse.
"What's wrong?" I asked,my voice flat. Almost a growl,she was hiding something.
"She didn't make it." Her voice broke.
My jaw tightented,"You mean..."
She looked at Bella,"I'm sorry Bella,you had a miscarriage."
Bella froze instantly.
I had nothing to say.
"I'm so sorry,Jake." Bella finally choked out.
I stared at her,"For what? You have no reason to be apologising for."
"No-no,I do. This is all my fault. Everything. The Volturi,Maria,Edward,Seth,this..." She shook her head,"I'll never be able to make up for ruining your life."