The Twilight Saga

This is another Jacob&Bella love story.

. After Edward came back, Bella hasn't gone down to visit Jacob in the past year and a half, but he had fled again, leaving her broken hearted. But she couldn't turn to Jacob again, he wouldn't allow it.

Songs used in this chapter; swim good- frank ocean, gold digger- kanye west, rescue you- the weeknd.

 

Prologue.

 

'I need you' she said. 'I love you' she said. 'I miss you, Jake, I really do' , she said. 'I'm sorry', she said.

And you want to know what I said? Ahah, I was like " Bella, you don't need me, you don't love me, you don't miss me, and you sure as hell aren't sorry." 'screw it', I said.

I always thought that Bella was the one for me, I always felt that, deep down. But, I can't be used. I'm not her toy anymore. I am a person, I am my own person. I can't let her throw me around anymore. Bella isn't the one for me, she never was, and never will be. I was just too strung out on her.

'I don't need you' I said. 'I don't love you', I said. 'I don't miss you', I said. 'And you're not forgiven.'

 

 

Chapter One.

 

I turned up the volume on my stereo, kicking my boots off. It's been a long day at the Garage, and I just wanted to drown out everything. Every noise and sound was irrelevnt to me at the moment. Especially my dad. He just doesn't get it. Sometimes I just want to be alone. I turn up the volume more at the thought.

 

"That's a pretty big trunk on my Lincoln car, ain't it? Big enough to take these broken hearts and put 'em in it."

 

I layed down on my bed, staring up at the ceiling, dragging my hands down my face. Today is my eighteenth birthday. I've gotten about ten calls from Bella, all of them are ignored. I don't understand why she's trying so hard, she should just give up, because I'm not giving in. I gave up on her. But she gave up on me first, so, whatever I guess.

 

"I'm about to drive in the ocean. I'mma try to swim for something bigger than me. Kick off my shoes and swim good, swim good. Take off this suit and swim good, swim good, good."

 

Embry wanted to just hangout, steal a couple of my dads bears and throw around the football for a bit, like we used to. He'd probably be here soon, with Quil too, and the newbie Desiree. She's a year younger than us, but she's pretty cool. She get's along with Leah more though, they're kind of the same. But, she's more outgoing and not as stuck up.

 

She lives in Forks, she's also Bella's friend. She played messenger for a bit, until I decided to give up completely. I've thought of changing my number too, but then my dad would give it to Charlie, and Charlie would give it to Bella. So, there'd be no point in that. I just don't understand why she just can't stop, and leave me alone.

 

All because Edward is gone again, I suddenly exist? She did this to me once, I can't let her to do it again. I won't, and I'm not.

 

"I feel like a Ghost, no Swayze, ever since I lost my baby. I've had this black suit on, roaming around like I'm ready for a funeral. One more mile 'til the road runs out."

 

I rubbed my eyes, turning my stereo up once more, it was almost turned up all the way. I'm sure the whole neighborhood could hear it, but I just didn't really care.

 

"I'm going off, don't try stopping me, I'm going off, don't try saving, no flares, no vest, and no fear. Waves are washing me, out."

 

This was the mix that Quil made me, which just consisted of Frank Ocean and The Weeknd. It's all pretty much depressing, but soothing all at the same time. It's all I ever listen to now.

 

"Jake! The door is for you!" My dad bellows. I was surprised he even bothered trying to yell over my music.

"Tell them to go away!" I shouted back.

"No, Jacob. Get your ass out of bed, and go to the door!" He yelled back. "Please." I heard him grumble.

 

I groan, and push the off button on my stereo, and roll out of bed. I swing my door open, and heard it smack against my wall- oh well. I trudge through the hallway, and to the front door, glancing side-ways into the living room, to glare at my father, then open the door.

 

"Hey Jake!" The three of them chorused; Embry,Quil and Desiree.

Desiree through herself at me, yelling "Happy Birthday!"

 

I caught her in my arms, hugging her back,"Uh, thanks." I mumble into her hair. She was very petite. Around 5'4, a circular face, large green eyes, tanned skin; freckles displayed across her face, and dark, long brown hair that went down to her waist. She had small, but full lips, and a small button like nose.

 

The guys love her.

 

I let her back down, and she's beaming at me. "I got you a present!" She sang, while pulling out a small bag from the back pocket of her shorts. She drops it into my hand."Open it!"

"We know what it is." Embry smirks, elbowing Quil.

I roll my eyes,sighing,"I told you guys not to get me anything."

"Well, this is only from me, the guys got you something different." She shrugged.

 

I eye them skeptically, while pulling on the strings to open the bag, I reach in and pull out what seemed to be a ring. Desiree snatched from my hand and pulled on my right one, sliding the stainless steel ring onto my finger.

 

"It's not much, just some jewlery. Thought you'd like it. It's not fancy or anything." She shrugs again.

"Hey! You didn't show him what's on the inside!?" Quil exclaimed, Embry laughing.

She narrows her eyes at him,"Yeah, yeah, I know. It's nothing really. Look at it on your own time." She let go of my hand.

"Okay, well it's my turn! But, it's my car, so uno momento!" Quil dashed back to his car,and then came back with a large box,tossing it to me. I caught it, before it could heat me sqaure in the chest."You will love me for this."

 

I tore through the blue wrapping paper, which then showed a box with a picture of a brand new stereo.

 

"So, what do you think? It's brand new, and better than your old piece of sh... Crap." Quil explained, smiling,waiting for a response.

"Wow, Quil, this must've costed..." My brows pulled together,"Thanks bro."

Quil came over and patted me on the back,"No problem! It was no big deal, really. Anything for my bro."

"My turn!" Embry sang, holding a box with red wrapping paper. A terrible taping job. He tosse it to me,and I catch it, setting the other box down.

I start tearing at the paper,and my eyes nearly bug out of my skull."Embry! No way man! Friends do not buy friends phones. What the hell?" It was the brand new blackberry bold. The current one I have is, I don't even know, but it's really old, and you can't even text with it.

Embry grins,"Well, I had the money, and man, you deserve it. Your phone is crappy."

"What's with you guys dissing my stuff?"

 

They both just chuckle, and Desiree snickers.

 

"I'm just gonna put these things inside, and we can play some ball, alright?" they all nod and head into my backyard.

 

I go back inside, ignoring my dad, and put my stuff on my bed, heading back out.

 

"Happy Birthday, son."

I turn to look at my dad, he wasn't looking at me. I turn the knob on the door.

"Call Bella back, please. She really needs a friend." He looks up at me now.

I groan, and just pull the door open, walking out.

"I mean it Jacob!"

 

I slam the door shut, and go join everyone in the back.

 

 

 

 

 

"Okay,okay,okay!" Leah slaps Embry, and he stops tickling her."I give. Okay,I'll have one drink. Just one."

He hands her a bear,and she takes a small sip, her eyes squinting."This stuff is nasty!" she cries, handing the bottle to the next person; Jared.

"Well, this should be like a new tribal thing. It's like I feel closer to you guys already." Quil announces, chuckling.

I roll my eyes,"Dude, eat a cracker." I toss the box of crackers across the fire, to Quil.

"I love these crackers! Triscuits are the shiz, man."

"I agree. They're so good." Seth says. Him, Brady, and Collin being the only ones who we're not allowing to drink. Seth can drive, so he's going to be driving us all back.

 

Collin and Brady just sit there together, half asleep, not saying anything. They're always quiet. Sam wasn't here though, he was at home, taking care of Emily; she had caught the flu. So everyone's been going to Desiree's, her cooking is almost as good as Emily's, but not.

 

Desiree had turned her ipod on, and started dancing around everyone.

 

"Now I ain't sayin' she a gold digger!" She sings, and everyone just starts bursting into laughter. "Na,na,naa!" She continues, clearly not knowing the rest of the words.

 

"Hey look it's Sam!" Paul suddenly yells out, then his eyes go wide,"And... Bella?"

I stiffen, and so does everyone else.

"That's irnoic, how she shows up when this song is playing." I hear Embry mutter.

"She's not a gold digger." I mutter back.

"Hah! Okay, Jake, okay."

"Please, Embry, don't." Desiree warns.

 

I turn around, and they are closer now, Bella close to his side. I tried focusing on her face, which looked like she had been crying for awhile.

 

They approached the circle,"I have new for everyone." Sam starts.

"She's not welcome here anymore." Paul grumbles.

Bella winces, I try not to notice it though.

"What's wrong Sam?" Seth asks.

Desiree sits down beside me,"Do you know?" she wonders.

I shake my head,and lean down to whisper in her ear,"No, I don't."

"There has been a terrible mishap. Which is why I have Bella here. She will be moving in with Emily and I, until she finds her own place. Something tragic has happened."

 

I didn't know what to think. Why the hell would Sam take in Bella? Why would Bella leave Charlie? I am completely confused. There hadn't been any vampires around since the Cullens have left again. So..

 

"It's Charlie." Bella announces. "He died a few hours ago, heart attack."

Seth jumped to his feet and ran over to Bella,embracing her. Leah got up too, doing the same. I could see how they would be the first one's to do so, seeing how their father died the same way.

 

I didn't know what to do, or what to say. I got up, and everyone looked up at me, I started walking away. It seemed as if this is the better thing to do.

 

"Wait,Jake! Wait for me!" I hear Desiree shout, and she was suddenly by my side."You can't drive, you've drank more than I have. I'll drive you."

"Desiree, I'll be fine. You know how our bodies work, I'm not even drunk."

"Just let me drive, Jake." she murmers, as we get to my car. I give her my keys, and get into the passengers side.

 

She turns the radio on, and I just lean back, my hands on my face.

 

"Jake?"

"Yes?"

I hear her sigh,"This isn't going to change things, right? I'll still be your best girl friend, right? I mean, I know this is very personal, and you haven't known me as long as Bella... But, I don't know.." She sighs again, sounding frustrated."Not that that's the only thing on my mind. Of course I feel bad for Bella. I hope she'll be okay, and all..."

"Pull over." I mutter.

 

Desiree has been there for me ever since the "Bella-thing" happened. She has turned to be a really good friend. She's the kind of person that can't be replaced. And I'm not going to let Bella back into my life. No matter how bad she's hurting. I hope she feels that way, I hope she's hurting. Although, there is some guilt seeping into me, maybe I should've called her. But, no, no, I did a good thing by not calling back. I can't let her run my life anymore! She already runs half my thoughts, my mind.

 

Desiree turns to look at me.

 

I take the ring off, and look at the inside, to see what she got engraved into it.

 

Don't give up. It says.

 

I put it back on, and parted my lips to say something, but she beat me to it.

 

"Jake, I mean it. Don't give up. Don't give up on life, I mean. Or love. There are other people out there. And I know this might be a sign, ooh Bella's back, but, don't. Don't do it. Because if she hurts you again..." She just shook her head.

"Stop,Des! Just stop. I know where I stand. And I won't, I'm not." I sigh, and she just nods.

"Okay, do you wanna go home? Or just come back to my place? I'm sure Billy won't mind."

I groan. Charlie is gone."No, I need to go home. My dad needs me."

She smiles, and starts the car up again, and starts driving.

 

"I can see right through the pain. Let me rescue you." the voice sang through the stereo.

 

 

The rest of the ride was silent, and when we pulled in, I pulled Desiree into my lap,and hugged her as tight as I could.

 

"Thank you."

She hugs me back,"Anytime,Jake. It's getting late though, and I'll be running back home, so I'll see you tomorrow, okay. Call me whenever." She crawls off my lap, and out of the door, and I follow after;taking my keys.

"Goodnight." I call out to her as she starts sprinting.

"Yeah,yeah." I hear her mutter, and I chuckle, heading inside.

 

 

 

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Replies to This Discussion

hey you sould write some more chapters these are great and I nodiced that you said somethimg happened to Edward and I was just curious to know what happened to him and the cullens and if they moved why they didn't take her with them.

Thank you,I will be soon!

And, that will all be explained later(:

Chapter 2.

Six months later.

Everybody had let Bella back into their hearts. But, I still couldn't accept her. Even Desiree, after all the crap Bella put her through, she accepted her apologies, and now her,Leah,Bella,and Emily are the greatest of friends. Which also means,no, I haven't been around Desiree much, because she's too engaged with her "girlfriends". It's kind of like a whatever thing,I guess. I still hang out with Quil and Embry though, yes, they did accept her apologies too, and treat her like she's a part of us.

She never talks about the Cullens anymore though. Nor does she talk about Charlie, it's just too much for her, which is understandable. But Bella wasn't the only one down about Charlie's death, hell, both Forks, and La Push for the first four to five months have been depressed about it. Charlie has been around for a long time, and he's always been there for, well, everyone. His funeral just made the whole situation ten times worse, everyone had their own sob stories; he was buried in the La Push cemetery, Bella said he would've prefered it here than in Forks. Which also makes sense,seeing how he has more friends here, and spent a lot of his time down here than up in Forks.

It's hard for me to stay at home, Billy is just too down, and it's hard to stay around him when he's like that. I stay over at Paul's house most of the time. For the first three months I did stay at home, all day, everyday, someone else had covered my shifts to let me take care of my dad. He wasn't eating properly, and wasn't exactly stable. I don't blame him, he lost two of his bestfriends in the last two years, that stuff is hard to deal with. But, seeing him so down, and depressed is harder for me, and he said he understands. Sue has been around him a lot more lately, she's taking care of him,no doubt, better than me.

It's kind of weird how things have changed in these six months. To everyone else, it seems it has changed for the better, everyone is gettting along, but that's the exact reason why for me, everything has changed for the worse. I don't understand how just because Charlie dies, everyone forgets everything that Bella did to me, and just accepts her back open armed... Pretty much. I mean it took a few months, but still. I will never forgive Bella, and I will never let her back into my life. She can go on being friends with my friends, but she will never be my friend.

 

"Jaaaacccoobbb!" Desiree sang, while skipping towards me.

 

She plopped down beside me, on the warn out couch in my garage, and just stared at me with her big eyes. I glared back down at her, and huff.

 

"Oh, come on!" She mutters,"She's not that bad. I actually feel sorry that I left her behind. She's pretty fun now' days." Desiree explains, knowing why I was giving her a stare.

"Bella? Fun?" I snort," Right."

"She is! But, you wouldn't know, 'cause you're never around." She shrugs,"I miss you."

"Sure,sure." I roll my eyes.

"So what? This is all you're gonna do? Sit around in your garage, and mope? And yet you have the nerve to say Bella isn't fun? Oh, sure looks like you're having a party." She stands up, crossing her arms.

 

I groan,frustrated."I can't just go up there, while she's there!"

She plops back down,"So you're gonna let her run the place now? Just because she's around, you're not gonna come around? You're gonna loose your friends, to her? That makes a lot of sense." She states sarcastically.

 

She has a point.

 

"No." I mumble.

"Well, then get your ass off this couch and go show her who's boss!" She slaps my back.

"Uhh..."

"What?!"

"I don't know... I just, I don't know." I sigh.

"Okay, well , first things first, you need to shower. So let's go to Paul's, and you can take a shower,get dressed, and we'll head over to Sam's. Everybody is there, and everybody misses having you around." She smiles slightly, standing up, and tugging me with her."Come on... Please?"

"Okay, fine." I mutter, following her out.

 

She had brought her car, so she drove me to Paul's house. I took a quick shower, and just pulled on a pair of jeans, and a grey t-shirt. Nothing special, because I don't need to dress up for anyone. Especially Bella, no need to dress up for her. I combed my fingers through my hair a few times, and sprayed myself with cologne.

 

"Geez, Jake, you ready?" I hear Des call.

"Yeah, hold on!"

 

I pulled on my sneakers, and walk out of the room to see Des standing in the hallway. She was just wearing dark blue skinny jeans,with rips in them, and a white button up shirt, not all buttons were done up though... Okay, that's where these thoughts need to stop. I am gentlemen, dear God.

 

She smiles,"Lookin' good, chief."

I roll my eyes, as we walked back out to the car,"Ha, ha."

She snickers,"You ready?" She looked me in the eyes as we sat in the car.

I nod,"Yeah of course." I snort,"But, I won't be talking to Bella, looking at her, or even acknowledging the fact that she still exists."

She shrugs,"Didn't say you had to go for her. Just the pack."

I nod, and she starts driving.

 

A few hours later, and everyone was surrounded around the table shoveling food into their mouths. I haven't looked at Bella once, nor mentioned her or gave her any signs that I even knew she was there. She was joking along with the guys, and the guys were joking with her, but I didn't. I'm not giving in.

 

"So,Jake, how've you been?" Seth asks."Haven't seen you in a little while. I'm like the only one who hasn't... Why haven't you visited me, you loser?"

I laugh,"Sorry bro, I've been a little busy. We'll catch up later."

He smiles,"Okay, cool. Come to my house, I got a new video game!"

I nod,"Alright!" I pat him on the back, and head towards Emily to give her a hug.

 

"How've you been?"

She smiles,then sighs,"Stressed out to be honest. She's been crying for the past 6 months, every single night. I mean I understand she lost her father, but sometimes it's just too hard to handle, you know? We thought it would only be a couple months at the most until she found her own place, but she's scared to be alone. We offered to even help her purchase a place, even in La Push, we could pull a few strings, but she just isn't ready to be alone... It's hard on me. You know, with the whole pregnancy, you heard about that, right?"

I arch an eye brow, trying to take this all in,"Wait, you're pregnant? No, nobody told me that! Well damn, congratulations Emily, I'm happy for the both of you!" I pull her into another hug, and she just giggles.

"Thank you, Jake."

I return a smile,"Why doesn't Bella move in with the Clearwaters? She could share a room with Leah? Those two seem to be pretty good friends." I suggested.

She pursed her lips,"Huh, I actually never thought of that before... I will talk to Sam about that, then Sue,Leah, and ask about Bella about that. Not that she's too much of a hassle, but you know, stress isn't a good thing for a pregnant lady." She sighs.

I nod,"How far along are you?"

"I'm about six weeks into the pregnancy." She nods.

"Wow. Damn, Emily you're going to be a great mother."

She smiles genuinely,"Thanks Jake, that means a lot."

 

I walk over towards Desiree sitting on the couch, watching TV. I plop down right beside her, and she jumped a little. I laugh, and she hits me with one of the couch pillows.

 

"Jake! You scared me."

"What're you watching?"

"Criminal Minds, geez. This show gives me the creeps, but I'm addicted to it." She explains, cuddling into my side.

I wrap my arm around her,"Ahaha, wow, you're pretty soft aren't you?"

She slaps my arm,"Am not! This show is about killers! Creepy ones at that."

"Are they as bad as vampires?"

She rolls her eyes,"No, actually. These people make things pretty gruesome. Like do you have to starve them, and beat them sensless, then like chop them up and burn the pieces?"

"Sounds like something a vampire hunter would do to a vampire."

She pursed her lips,"Huh, it does."

I chuckle, and kiss the top her head."I won't let no crazy killer come after you, don't worry."

"They wouldn't be able to touch me anyways. I'd end up killing them first."

I laugh,"True that."

 

I leaned back into the couch,with Desiree clung to my side, and felt very comfortable, and satisfied. I was glad I came. I haven't really been paying attention to Bella either. My mind has been reminding me that every now and then, I feel proud of myself. I chuckle at myself. And Desiree looks up, giving me a look.

 

"Do you think this is funny? That old lady just cooked a kid!" She exclaims, horror clearly written across her face.

"No,no, not at all!" I quickly defend myself,"That's terrible."

"I will forever be scared of old people. Except for the Elders, of course, but any other old person.... Will forever look like a kid killer to me." She shudders, and I hold her closer.

"I really hate this show." I hear someone say, and look up to see Bella sit down on the love seat beside us. Her hair was longer, and she actually had some colour to her, she was wearing jean shorts and a plain black t-shirt.

Desiree glances towards Bella, glaring,"How? I love this show!"

Bella laughs slightly,"It's about death... I don't know how they could do that job."

Des nods,"I don't know either, but they are very brave people."

Bella nods, agreeing,"Yeah. But, this show gives me nightmares."

"Me too! But, like, I can't stop watching it." Des confesses.

Bella laughs,"I see. Everytime you come, you have it on."

"I always bring the DVDs with me, I have every season, well, not the new one, I just watch them when they're on." She explains.

I roll my eyes, laughing at Des's statement,"Wow."

"Don't make fun of me, mister!" She hits me, again.

"What's with you today? This is like the tenth time you've hit me!" I glare at her, rubbing my arm.

She giggles,"Sorry, you make me mad. Want me to kiss it better?"

I nod,"Yes please."

Bella shifts,uncomfortably as Des presses her lips to my arm."There! All better." Des announces.

 

"Ew, you guys should just get a room." Quil mutters.

"Hell, they should start DATING already." Embry seconds.

"I know right? They're like the perfect couple." Seth notes.

 

Both Des and I give them glares."We're bestfriends."

I nod,"Exactly, just bestfriends."

Paul walks in, rolling his eyes,"Well, from what I hear when you're in the shower Jake.... You don't think of Des, as just a friend."

 

I could feel all the colour from my face drain. Yes, there's odd ocaisions where I think of Des other than just a friend, but I mean, who doesn't? She's beautiful.

 

I look down at Des, not knowing what to say, her cheeks were flaming red. I glance over at Bella from the corner of my eye, and she's sitting there solid. Her teeth were clenched.

 

I look back over at Paul, and everyone else, who was hysterically laughing,and then Leah walked into the room.

 

"Well considering from what I hear from Des' bedroom when I'm on patrol, she doesn't think of you as just a friend, either." Leah mutters, plopping down right beside Des, with a big smile on her face.

"Leah! You said you'd never say anything!" Des whined, burrying her face into my chest, completely embarrassed.

 

If I was her, I'd be running into the other room, not sticking my face into her chest. Well, actually, on second thought...

 

"Yeah, well Leah, I hear you what you think sometimes too, about Embry." Collin states.

Leah groans,"Do you like your heart beating or not?"

Collin laughs shyly,"Beating."

"Thought so." Leah narrows her eyes, and Collin didn't say a word for the rest of the night.

 

I looked back over to where Bella was, and noticed she wasn't there anymore.

thank you (:

this is sooooooooo good love it im addicted u should be a writer

Thank you so much! :)

Chapter 3.

"No Jacob, not like that, honey. Eat with your mouth closed, and elbows off the table!" She sighs, in frustration, combing her fingers through her hair. "Billy! Please tell him to eat his vegetables, that they're good for him." Mom complained.

I slouched back into my chair, rolling my eyes,"I don't like them though! They don't taste good..." I muttered.

She sighs again, walking over to me and crouching down beside me, making me look into her eyes.

 

"Jake, you see your dad over there? How he's all strong, muscular, healthy..?"

I nod, with a smile, "I wanna look just like dad when I'm older!"

She smiles brightly,"I thought so. You know how daddy got to be all big and strong like that?"

I shook my head,"How?"

Dad walked into the kitchen at that moment,"By eating his vegetables!" He finished my mom's sentence.

My mom smiles,nodding,"Exactly, eating vegetables. That's what vegetables do to you. They make you all healthy, and strong. You'll be able to carry the fire wood all by yourself, if you start eating those vegetables, young man." She winks,and starts laughing. Not a mocking laugh, but as if she was picturing how I would be, being able to carry the fire wood all by myself.

"Really?!" I exclaimed, while shoving my broccoli into my mouth,"All of sudden these vegies taste so good,mama!"

She ruffles my hair, while standing up,"I told you."

Dad chuckles,"I'm sure Bella would like that too. She'd be very impressed."

I smile, then shrug,"I don't think Bella really likes me though... Seeing how she is older than me. I'm only four..."

Mom shakes her head,"I really wish I could meet Bella sometime, I'm always out of town when she comes down."

"Age isn't the biggest problem,when you're in love son."

I crinkle my nose,"Love? I don't love her. As a friend of course... But, nothing more."

Mom smiles,"Good! You're too young for that anyways."

Dad chuckles,"You're never too young for love, my love." He encircled her in his arms, and kissed her forehead.

 

I always dreamed of having a relationsihp like mom and dad's. They really love eachother. And if anyone saw them just walking down the street, they'd know they're in love. Just by the way the walk with eachother, the way they look into eachothers' eyes. They way mom's eyes would twinkle when ever dad would compliment her, or call her sweet names.

 

I remember laying down in my bed that night, pretending to fly my toy airplane, thinking that no one could ever love someone as much as my dad loves my mom. Or the way my mom loves my dad, I knew they'd be inseperable. I knew that nothing would ever tear them apart. Or so I thought. I remember, just one year later, exactly, sitting on my bed, reading one of my Transformers comic books, Rachel was down visiting, and was babysitting me.

 

The day I never even thought would come, came. They were seperated. But, it wasn't by choice. Nobody had a say in this, not mom, not dad, not me, Rebecca, or Rachel. Nobody got the choice to say whether not she wanted to stay, or leave. She just had to leave, she didn't have a choice to stay with us, when that accident took her life away, seperating her from us, from dad. And it was the worst on dad, because he had a choice. God gave him a choice to live, but he just took my mom. I wonder if he would have given my mom a choice, that my dad would've had to pay for the consequence of mom living.

 

At least she got to see me carry the fire wood all by myself. Two days before she passed away, two days before my fifth birthday.

 

I sigh, dragging my hands down my face. Sometimes, I wish she was here. Sometimes? Hell, all the time. I wish I had a mom. Not someone who tried to act like a mother figure to me. Not Sue, or Emily. My mom. Sarah Black. I want my mom back. I know I'm eighteen, and I know I'm a "big boy" now, but I still need my mom. I wish she was here to give me advice, I wish she was here for my graduation. I wish she was around to comfort me when I was transitioning into a wolf. I wish she was there to hold me all the times my heart was broken. I wish she was here now, to help me get through the day not feeling like crap. I wish she was here to meet Desiree.

 

She'd love Desiree. I know that for a fact. They're almost the same person, they even look similar. They have the same big eyes, different colours though, they have the same long dark brown hair, they have the same face, the same nose. I rub my forehead. Desiree would love my mom too. They're get along great...

 

There was a sudden knock on the door to the bedroom I was staying in, at Paul's.

 

"Jaaacoobbb! Can I come in?" Desiree, speaking of the devil. Haha, kidding, she's not even close. She's an Angel. She turned the knob anyways, walking in before I could answer.

I quickly rubbed my eyes, trying to make it look like I haven't spent two hours in my room being depressed,and let a few tears escape..

"Jake? Are you okay? Have you... Oh, Jake!" She ran over to me, and I sat up shaking my head,pushing her hands away from my face.

"I'm fine, I'm fine.. I just..." I sigh,"Stubbed my toe on the edge of..." I look over at the door leading into the bathroom attatched to my room,"The door frame, on my way in here." I finished.

She rolls her eyes,"You thinking about your mom again?"

Dammit. She knows me too well. I just shrug,and chuckle.

She sat down beside me, taking my hand into hers,"You're such a nice man,Jacob."

 

I glance down at her,and she was staring at my hand,"You're a pretty nice little women,Des."

She laughs shortly,and looks up at me, her emerald eyes gleaming,"I love you, you know that, right?"

I nod,"Of course, you're my bestfriend. Bestfriend's love eachother."

She nods,"Right." She sighs,"About what Leah said earlier..."

I roll my eyes,"Don't worry about it, she was just teasing, right?"

"Was Paul joking?"

I bit my lip,I didn't want to make our friendship awkward,but.."No, he wasn't."

"Leah wasn't just teasing me either... She was telling the truth..."

I sigh,"Des..."

"Just friends,Jake, forever." She smiles softly.

 

I pull her into my lap,my fingers brushing along her jaw line,tilting her face up towards me."This really changes things,honey."

She places her hands on my chest,then grabs fistfulls of my shirt,pulling me closer to her,"Is that okay?" She whispers.

I run my lips along her cheek,and down her neck,then back up along her jaw,to the corner of her mouth,and she yanks at my shirt,"Of course it is." I breath, before pressing my lips to hers.

 

My hands leave her face, and grab at her waist, and maneuver her onto my bed,so I was hovering over her. She wraps her legs tightly around my waist,forcing me down on her. This, right here, felt true. It felt right. I don't have to fight for her attention, because it's always there, I don't have to try to impress her, because she's already impressed with everything I do, even when I don't do anything.

 

I bite down on her lip, hard, and she moans softly. I nearly melt, this is how it should feel. This is how I should feel. I couldn't even wrap my mind around the fact that I was kissing Desiree. She's pretty much all a guy could ever ask for. Okay, damn, I just a little soft there, but that's how it should be, right? I wonder if this is how dad felt everytime he kissed mom.

 

 

 

 

Everyone was at Emily's again, Des and I arrived a little later. I was trying to keep up with her, as she skipped along towards their house, holding my hand, she was pretty much dragging me.

 

"I told you!" I hear Embry shout, looking out the window towards us.

"Ahaha! I knew they were together." Paul second.

"Damn!" Quil shouts.

 

We walked in, rolling our eyes."You guys are goofs." Des mutters.

I scooped her up in my arms,kissing her cheek, and she released a bunch of giggles.

"Oh man." Seth mutters,sighing."This is wonderful, just wonderful. More kissy grossness. Not that we don't get enough from Emily and Sam, and Jared and Kim... And everyone else who has an imprint?!"

"We didn't imprint Seth..." I told him, setting Des back on her feet.

Des went still for a minute then laughs,"Of course not!" She held onto my arm.

Bella walked down the stairs,with a smile on her face,"Congratualtions you two!"

 

Her hair was definately longer than I recall it. "I'm so happy for you,Des." she added.

Des smiles,"Thank you Bella."

I nod,"Yeah, thanks Bella." my voice turned into acid, and I took my arm out of Des' grip, and walked back outside to spit. Her name tasted like pennies, like copper, and copper tastes like blood. It was gross.

"Hey,Jake are you okay?" It was Bella.

I turn around,"Just peachy." I mutter.

She smiles slightly,"You know it's been awhile..."

"For a reason."

"If you could just let me explain..."

"How you always,always come to me whenever Edward doesn't want to have sex with you? Or whenever he decides to prance off into who knows where, but it's not with you, and you're not getting enough attention so you have to come crawling to me? You used me Bella, too many times. But I guess that's my fault, for letting you. But, then I realised you aren't the one for me. You're just a cold hearted bi-"

"Jacob!" Desiree shouts. I glance over at her, anger written all over her face.

"Bella, can I speak to him alone?"

I look over at Bella, to see her face tear-stricken. Attention seeking piece of crap that's what she is. She walks back into the house, and slams the door behind her.

 

"Jacob, how could you say that?! How could you call her that? After all she's been through.."

"How about after all she's put me through?!" I yelled.

"Well like you said, that's your fault! You let her do that to you,Jacob!" She pushed me as she said my name.

I grab her wrists,pushing them away from me,"Don't Des. You really don't want to get me mad."

"I don't freaking care if I get you mad! Don't you get me mad!" She shouted, her small frame shaking slightly every now and then, as if she was glitching.

I roll my eyes,"Shut up, I'm done here." I throw my arms up in the air, and start walking away.

 

I felt a tug on my shirt, and I was pulled to the ground; I wasn't ready for that. Then Des was stradling my hips,"You're a jerk sometimes Jake, you know that."

"What happened to me being a nice man?"

"You treat Bella like she doesn't belong, when she really does. Get over it."

"Get over it?" I shake my head,"You have no idea how she made me feel. How she makes me feel up to this day." I push Des off of me, and start walking again.

"Jacob!" I hear Des yelling,chasing after me. I didn't realise I started running.

 

Great. Fighting already.

really good story, please update again :-)

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