The Twilight Saga

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When you were younger, older kids maybe your cousins, older siblings, older friends or neighbors, any older figure in your life would try to scare you .. by telling you about monsters that hurt people or kill them. Have you ever heard of a monster who hurt other people and themselves? There are 'Monsters' in this world but they look like normal people just like us. The difference? They hurt everyone they see or they hurt themselves until they're gone from this world. What if you were one of those monsters? What would you do?

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Bridgewood Asylum is an asylum for Supernatural & Sometimes Human teens ages 13-19 with disorders. From OCD to Multiple Personality Disorder to even being Mute, this asylum is way beyond the point of crazy. Vampires, Werewolves, Witches, etc. are here as well to make it worse.. most of them have stories that nobody knows except them and the workers in the asylum. Some try to escape, some try to kill themselves, but they never succeed. Welcome To Bridgewood Asylum, where the real monsters are lurking in every corner ..

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Rules

1) Follow the TTS RP Guidelines & Rules

2) No Out Of RP Drama

3) Boy & Girl

4) 2-4 Characters You Can Have

5) 3+ Line Replies

6) Don't Ditch This RP/IF YOU DO, YOUR CHARACTERS WILL BE DELETED!!!! IDC IF YOU COME BACK ON WHEN THEY'RE GONE, YOU'RE OUT!!! UNLESS YOU HAVE AN EXCUSE!!

7) No Making Your Character Perfect, ESPECIALLY In This RP. It's Annoying -__-

8) Have Fun! :D

9) If You've Read The Rules Comment 'I'm Friends With The Monster That's Under My Bed'

This RP Was Based Off Of: The Monster- By Eminem Ft. Rihanna

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Character Form

2 Gifs/Pics

Name | Age | Species | Disorder | Crushing Or In Love/Sexual Preference | P/B

Extra Info

Song That Goes With Their Feelings/Personality/Life (OPTIONAL)

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Disorders In This RP(FEEL FREE TO ADD MORE)

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder(OCD)

Schizophrenia

Dissociative Identity Disorder/Multiple Personality Disorder(DID/MPD)

Insomnia

Eating Disorders- Anorexia Nervosa, Bulimia Nervosa & Binge Eating Disorder(BED)

Insanity

Bipolar Disorder(BD)

Major Depressive Disorder(MDD)

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder(ADD/ADHD)

Peter Pan Syndrome/Disorder

Muteness

Social Anxiety Disorder(SAD)

Dementia

Paranoid Personality Disorder(PPD)

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Character Form

2 Gifs/Pics

Name | Age | Species | Disorder(s) | Crush Or In Love/Sexual Preference

Extra Info/Story

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Characters

Harold "Harry" Jonathan Stylinson | 18 | Human | DID/MPD |In Love With & Dating Louis/Bisexual | graveyard.†

Harry has multiple personalities that usually come out randomly or a certain words trigger them. Harry is his normal cheeky, loving, cute, charming self. Hazz is the cute, sweet, shy, nerdy side of him that always has big nerdy black framed glasses on and sometimes gels his hair back. Hazza is the complete opposite of Hazz, he's mean, cruel, manipulative and homophobic. Harold is the complete opposite of bubbly Harry, he's quiet almost like he's mute and only speaks a few words, he always sits in the corner of a room in the library for the patients to have some alone time and is always crying with his knees pressed against his chest and his arms wrapped around them. Harry had been thought to have Bipolar disorder when he was younger but when he was 17 he was diagnosed with DID/MPD so his parents sent him to the Asylum to stay until he was 19 then be shipped to an adult asylum for the rest of his life.

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Louis Thomas Petrova (Nadia Petrova's Son/Katherine's Grandson) | 15 | Fairy | Muteness & Peter Pan Syndrome | In Love With & Dating Harry/Gay | ME

Louis was, bubbly, funny, talkative, he also always had worn flower crowns and loved flowers, he also never stopped talking. Until the day his mother died from werewolf venom, he found out a couple of months after and that's when he shut down. He never talked, he actually couldn't say a word even if he wanted to, it wasn't physically possible. He was bullied everyday for it and soon his horrible excuse of a father who had custody of him said he was worthless and an embarrassment. One day his father sent him to the doctors to prove he was retarded and found out he was Mute and had Peter Pan Syndrome which made his father pick on him even more. His doctor noticed his behavior and talked to his father about putting him in an asylum before he could do any serious damage to himself. While they talked, Louis was staring at himself in the bathroom mirror of the hospital, mashed the mirror to pieces, and grabbed a shard, guess what happened next. The doctor sent him to the asylum and made sure the father lost custody of him. Louis woke up in an unfamiliar white room and had bandages on him along with his flower crown on his head and baby blue wings on his back.

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Angelica Rose Austin | 13 | Demon | Schizophrenia | I Don't Love Anyone Except For My Friends/Straight | ME

Angelica looks like a sweet little girl but she has a very demonic life, literally. Angelica's family were all supposed to have babies that died before they were born, Tommy, Chuckie, Phil & Lil. She knew they were dead but she still saw them every day playing in their play pen. She thought they were annoying and took all of the attention away from her so she picked on them and bossed them around, they didn't care and listened to her. Of course, her parents thought it was just imagination but it was far from that. She had schizophrenia but nobody knew, she couldn't tell the difference from illusion called The Rugrats from reality, soon she bossed around "Tommy's" dog Spike, "Tommy's" little brother Dil and her grandpa. She even almost killed Dil when he didn't listen to her and she hit him in the head resulting in him being mentally retarded. Soon her parents found out and sent her to the doctor's resulting in them finding out she had schizophrenia and sending her to the asylum.

YES THIS IS ANGELICA FROM RUGRATS DON'T JUDGE ME cx THIS IS BASED OFF OF THE RUGRATS THEORY SO I SUGGEST YOU YOUTUBE OR GOOGLE IT!! ^.^ AND THERE IS A RUGRATS THEORY SONG IN JAPANESE BUT THE ONE I'M PUTTING IS AN ENGLISH COVER :)

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Katerina Petrova/Katherine Pierce(Louis' Grandmother) | 18 Forever | TVD Vampire/Demon | Insanity & ADD/ADHD | Mixed Emotions For Liam/Bisexual | Shruti Lautner

Katherine Pierce is the grandmother of Austin Petrova. After Nadia died, Katherine went insane and of course she went to hell. But now she's back and badder than ever. She's half demon and is on a mission to kill Elena and her friends but of course. Katherine had been diagnosed with Insanity & ADD/ADHD when she was a human and when she came back as a half demon, it all came back to her. So of course the ADD was a problem since she couldn't focus on finding Elena. So one day she was caught trying to question someone about Elena and hurting them in the process so they called the police and she was sent to the asylum where she found her grandson at and wants to talk to him but doesn't.

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Brianne Audrey Gonzalez | 17 | Human / Gifted (Controls / Manipulate Flora & Fauna & Can turn into any animal) | SAD + Anorexia Nervosa + Schizophrenia | Mixed Emotions Over Harry / Straight | ron loves harry

Brianna was once a happy child who lived with her mother and went to school and was normal, only that she wasn't. Since a newborn child she could do things others couldn't, she used to phased into different creatures in her cribs which one worried her mother but soon her mother found it fascinated and called Brianne a blessing. She was bullied on school and was left out, the other girls didn't talk to her or made fun of her and the boys always made fun of her as well. She ended up having no one but her mother, then on her fifteen birthday she lost her as well. Her father came to visit them and things didn't go well, her mother ended up dead and Brianne ended up scarred for life. After that night she wasn't pure or innocent, the horrors she had faced and watched had changed her to a point where she didn't speak for months. She still went to school because she was forced to but she didn't eat and she screamed randomly as the nightmares -the horrors of her last birthday- came back to life in her mind. She began losing her grip to reality and was sent to the asylum on the age of seventeen. Before then she went to the hospital constantly because of her weight and because she never ate properly. Now she's stuck in the asylum with nothing but broken hope and a shattered soul. She was once sweet and kind and caring, she always tried to help others but now she just sits on a corner of her bedroom or any other place and says nothing only watches what people do. -- Because of her low health she can no longer use her gift although many doctors had just said that it's mental and that she blocks herself to not use them and to feeling hopeless like the night everything changed.

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Caleb Matthew Newton | 18 | Vampire/Werewolf Hybrid | Insanity + Insomnia + OCD + MDD | TBA / Straight | ron loves harry

Caleb was just your typical werewolf jock, he did sports and had the attention of all the girls but he was in love with only one. He wasn't a player as he only had an eye for one person - Annabella, she was the love of his life. They were together for three years and one night he got drunk and did the biggest mistake of his life. He ended up messing around with someone else, cheating on his girlfriend. The morning he realized what happen he went straight to her place and told her everything, she choose to walk away. They had plans for college, they had plans of getting married - having their life together but all of that crashed away because he had too much to drink and couldn't notice someone from another. He was left heart-broken and soon became a rouge of his pack, living an meaningless life all by himself. He started losing his mind, confusing things from reality and his mind. He became a great danger to himself and others as he once tried to take his life so he was sent to the asylum. The day he tried to take his life someone changed him into a hybrid, he doesn't know who it was or why they did it but they ended up saving him and he is not grateful for that as he still hurts everyday. He cannot bear to see something disorganize, when he visits the library at the asylum he needs to organize everything not being able to stop himself - he is often taken away because he yells at them and usually hits them with something. He finds organizing things and cleaning and escape for his thoughts, he cleans and cleans until the place is shining. This is of course a problem for those who had a room near him. He is forever guilty of what he had done and is very mean to people who come near him.

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Seria Light | 16 | Half Cat/Half Human | ADHD | TBH/Straight | Scarlett Biersack

She was a girl who use to be afraid of cats till one day she found a cat that she really fell in love with but not only did she fall in love with it but she really thought that if she could just talk it home she would really get use to cats but when she did her mother (a witch ) cast a spell and happen to turn her daughter into a cat more like a human with ears and a tail of a cat. She loves the color Green,neon green that is , she is active and sometimes cant stay still. she will listen if she wants to. She never has the time to slow down unless she needs her catnap. She loves stuffed animal(takes her back to her good life) She is a little ruff house, she loves to tackle people when she gets the chance other then that you will see what she can do.

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Adam Starr | 18 | Vampire | Muteness | TBH/strait | Scarlett Biersack

Adam had a horrible past.He had a true girl that he really loved and he lost her right after a fight with another girl. then soon she was dying of cancer and when he found out it was to late she was already gone. alot of people think he is a monster that takes peoples lives just to get blood to drink on but they are wrong he drinks on animal blood and he no more talks cause people with think he is a pansy or something more of that. 

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Camilla Grace DeBerry | 18 | Human | Muteness | TBA / Straight | Sky

Camilla loved dancing, it was the only way she could express herself since talking was never an option for her. Ever since she was a little girl Camilla never spoke two words, to be honest she has never even said her first words. Her parents became very worried and decided that at the age of three they should see if anything was wrong with her. Sure enough the doctor had found that she had been born with the disorder mutness. It drove her mother crazy that her daughter may never be able to speak. When Camilla turned sixteen her mother couldn't bear her disorder anymore and that's when it was decided that she would be put in the asylum.

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Kaya | via TumblrKaya | via Tumblr

Ariel Sparks | 17 | Human | Psychotic Depression, Anorexia, Muteness| TBA, Bisexual | graveyard.†

Ariel was always the outcast in life. At school, she was always bullied because she was different, she didn't have money and wasn't society's idea of 'perfect.' By age 13, she had been diagnosed with Anorexia and was pulled out of school and to her first trip to a rehab center. Her parents wanted to support their daughter, but it was always difficult for them to accept her illness. Months later Ariel returned from rehab and was slowly recovering. One December day when she was 15, however, her world came crashing down on her again. She had received a phone call that her parents were dead, they had hit an ice patch on the road and lost control of their car. Ariel sunk into a depression and relapsed on her Anorexia. She had nobody left in the world and just shut down, eventually becoming mute. Her grandmother, who took custody of her, was fed up with her and put her into the asylum, where she has been for the past three years.

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Coups de cœur | TumblrUntitled

Jason Langdon| 18| Human| Schizophrenia, Insanity, Bipolar Disorder| TBA, Straight| graveyard.†

Jason always seemed to have something wrong with him, he just didn't know what it was. At a young age, he was discovered to be bipolar and was placed on medication for it, which seemed to keep him under control. He was never very popular at school and everyone seemed to bully him. He had a voice in his head, a female voice, who he named Emma. Emma wasn't a good voice though, she was pure evil. She would encourage Jason to hurt the people he loved most and do rebellious things the normal Jason wouldn't do. He wanted Emma out of his head, he would shout and shout for her to go away, but he knew she wasn't going anywhere. His mother grew concerned for him and placed him in the asylum for his own safety.

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Darien James Hall | 19 | Vampire | SAD | TBA/Straight | P/B Sky

Darien use to be a social butterfly. He always got along with others and was never rude. One night his friends and him were driving home from a party. On the way home the car was hit and he was in a serious accident everyone was pronounced dead but Darien had seem to gone missing. He awoke and immediately felt different and strange. The place was nothing like he's ever seen before. He reached up and touch his teeth feeling his fangs. It scared him to the point where he wouldn't speak for a while. He was diagnosed with the disorder SAD, he began to speak more but only when it was necessary. Those who had turned him got irritated with the disorder and placed him in the asylum.

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TWO OF ISABELLE'S MOST COMMON LOOKS^^^

Isabelle "Emma" Roman | 16 | Angel Of Darkness | Insomnia & Bipolar | Crushing On Caleb/Straight | ME

There's nothing much to know about "Isabelle". She came the latest to the asylum and is a HUGE flirt, all the girls hate her, most of the boys love her and she just doesn't care about anything. She can also change her looks to anybody she wants. She also can make voices into people's heads, just by whispering in their direction and they would never know. She's like another Katherine but a little worse since she's bipolar, one little thing and she'll snap. She also prefers people to call her by her middle name, Emma.

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Iris Makayla Lockheart | 16 | Werewolf | Social Anxiety Disorder + Bipolar Disorder + Schizophrenia | Crushing on Jason / Straight | ron loves harry
Iris was always that shy girl that played the piano and barely had friends. She was the girl that would read instead of going out to the movies or talking about boys. She always lived in her own bubble, people thought she was weird because she didn't talk much but she felt anxious whenever she had to speak to someone that wasn't her parents. On a full moon she was bitten and since then everything changed, she went crazy - harming others because of the power she didn't know how to control. Her parents got worried and sent her there, she doesn't blame them for it since she came close to ending her own life. She was locked away in the asylum not able to go outside for four months, now that she knows how to control herself she can be as normal as anyone else in the asylum. She goes for her middle name Makayla or Kayla, only a few people can call her Iris. Iris is nice and caring and is mostly consider a wallflower -- she see things, she keeps quiet and she understands. Because she is now a werewolf she has a bipolar disorder and can snap easily at times, she tries her best not to because she knows that the asylum has humans. People think she had muteness but she doesn't, she has a very lovely voice to sing but she only sings in private. Her long sleeves hide the scars of those endless nights where she turned into a monster.

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Ryan Alex Smith | 18 | Demon | Bipolar & Insanity & PPD | In Love With Louis(Obsessed With Him)/Gay | ron loves harry

Nobody really knows anything about Ryan except Dr. Payne and a few nurses. He had been diagnosed with being Bipolar, Insane and PPD. Before going to the asylum, everyone knew there was something wrong with him. He had a crush or obsession with his guy best friend and stalked him and when his friend said he didn't like him back, he attempted rape and was put in jail. When he first comes to the asylum, the first person he notices is Louis and soon he becomes obsessed with him. He hates Harry since he's Louis' boyfriend and he actually stalks Louis all the time. Because of his PPD, he feels like Harry is attacking him every time he pulls Louis away from him or keeps him away. He would do anything to make Louis his ... anything.

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Jordyn Alexandra Rumancek | Nineteen | Human | DID/MPD & Dementia | TBD/Bisexual | Pewds All Day
Jordyn had dealt with her illnesses for as long as she could have remembered. The Dementia had started early, when she was ten and it had only gotten worse. Treatments didn't help, pills only worsened her condition, and therapy only agitated her. Through out her middle and high school years, she then developed DID and/or MPD. It not only became very serious, but interfered with her dementia for the worse. All things un-imaginable happened; she became dangerous to herself and others, and her parents felt more sorrow for their only child than ever. They saw a pamphlet for Bridgewood Asylum. When they saw their success rates, it was in their agenda to place Jordyn there for enhanced treatment.

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Oliver Nathan Caar | Sixteen | Fallen Angel | Bipolar Disorder, MDD, & Insomnia | TBD/Straight | Pewds All Day
Oliver never thought he'd be in such a predicament, where being stripped of his wings, would cause him to inhabit human mental disorders. It didn't start off right away, but it did act quickly, and it never was an easy time. He's a young kid, he doesn't know how to fix the things he's suffering from, until he heard about Bridgewood Asylum. He refused to put himself through it though. But when he had found himself thinking about sinister ideals, and went through with them, he broke down. Bridgewood was the only answer to his problems, so he 'signed' himself up.

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Samantha Hennery (AKA Sammie)/ 18/ werecoyote/Paranoid Personality Disorder(PPD)/ Straight/PB: shiver

Sammie always dreamed of being an  famous artist as a little kid. She had her life all planed out; get good grades  in high school, go to that art school that's famous for having brilliant artist's going there. But all the cards for her future changed when one night after sneaking out to go to a party, she woke up  in the middle of the woods with nothing on but a towel  getting thrown over her body and being told that she has been turned into a werecoyote. Ever since this event Sammie couldn't think straight and felt that people were holding something from her.

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Robby Miller/ 19/ Human/ schizophrenia/ Straight/PB: shiver

Robby was known as the 'class clown', but when he turned eight-teen these demons appeared to him , telling him the hurt and kill his family, friends and teachers. Robby, first tried to ignore these temptations, because he was a 'lover not a fighter' type of person. But, closer to his 19th birthday his 'class clown' mentality disappeared , and was replaced by a more serious one. On the evening of his 19th birthday Robby killed his father with a knife to his neck, giving in to his demons' desires.

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Go to the full index.Go to the full index.
Merana Efron| 19| Vampire | Insanity | In love with Liam & Straight | P/B: Shruti Lautner

She is totally normal it's just that her stepfather murdered her mother and she saw that and ran away. She was almost invincible for everyone for a year. She wanted to get revenge. In those two years she turned into a vampire and went back home. She killed her stepfather.She was sent to this asylum and she readily accepted that.Liam who is a councellor there is very helpful though he is helpful to everyone she thinks she is special.She is very good in fighting and martial arts. Anger problem...She loves to sing and dance.

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Now we all know that the TTS rules state no violence so I tried MY BEST to keep the gruesome, violent scenes in these character's lives out and just put things like "Guess what happened next" just "hurt". So please don't do too much violence in the extra info/story because I don't want this RP to get deleted or to be banned from this site so plz do me that favor :) Also ik ppl will have alcohol or violence mentioned in their bios but I ASSURE all of you & the mods as well that there will be none of that in this RP. The stories are about their past which means it'll never happen in the RP :) so don't worry about that. Thnx guys and plz join! Byyye <33

~Skyla

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Replies to This Discussion

((Yeah :( ))

Angelica ;; [ Her eyes widened and she ran to the door, banging on it and she heard a whisper then a sound of pain. ] "LOUIIIIIIS!!! OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW PLEEEASE!!!" [ She yelled and felt her eyes fill with tears when there was no other sound except for the tiny breathing that slowly started fading away. ] "LOUIS!!!!"

Emma ;; [ She smiled and watched them go crazy at Louis' door. ] "Goodbye little fairy...." [ She whispered through the wall. ] "Oh and I'd like to introduce myself .. my name is Isabelle aka .. Emma." [ She smirked and walked away from the room quickly, glad that they didn't notice her. She saw a girl running towards the room and she hid behind a wall instantly and waited until she ran past her. ] "Aww ... people actually care about him now.. but it's too late." [ She walked out of her hiding spot and quickly walked through the halls and hid every time a nurse ran by and she got to a room filled with instruments and saw Jason. She smirked and leaned against the wall, whispering .. ] "Ohhh why don't you look at that? Jason actually has a friend? What a miracle .. Sadly you're not as vulnerable as Little Fairy Boy .. speaking of him, seems like you won't be seeing him for a while.." [ She smirked then quickly walked away from the room. ]

(Aah I missed it..I making katherine run to Louis..or maybe to harry.yeah no Larrine right now.)
:Katherine:
Liam was nothing for her at this point of time. She left Liam's class when she heard what some people were thinking.She was running to Louis ... but she thought why him? why not Harry? .Someone was following her. Her mind was full of things she thought some days ago in MysticFalls.

((lol it's okay. GO KATHERINE GO!!!! :D))

Liam ;; [ He raised an eyebrow when Katherine ran out and she only ever acted like this when there was something wrong with ... ] "Louis!!" [ He exclaimed and grabbed his phone, calling a nurse to go check on him quickly and to check on Emma and Ryan. They called back and said Ryan was in his room but Emma was no where to be found. He cursed and looked at Merana. ] "Merana. Do me a huge favor please. Go to Louis' room, it's down the hall to the left. Katherine might be there and if you see a girl with black wings then bring her back here please. She's very dangerous and might be trying to hurt someone." [ He said with pleading eyes. ]

(Aah I missed it..I making katherine run to Louis..or maybe to harry.yeah no Larrine right now.)
:Katherine:
Liam was nothing for her at this point of time. She left Liam's class when she heard what some people were thinking.She was running to Louis ... but she thought why him? why not Harry? .Someone was following her. Her mind was full of things she thought some days ago in MysticFalls.
(Aah I missed it..I making katherine run to Louis..or maybe to harry.yeah no Larrine right now.)
:Katherine:
Liam was nothing for her at this point of time. She left Liam's class when she heard what some people were thinking.She was running to Louis ... but she thought why him? why not Harry? .Someone was following her. Her mind was full of things she thought some days ago in MysticFalls.

Omg this is so off topic but this song is beautiful *-*

Harry had no idea what to do, he couldn't loose Louis, he just couldn't. He heard what sounded like Louis in pain and he felt his heart drop. Somehow he managed to get the door opened and went over to Louis, his eyes filled with tears "No, no, love don't leave me please." he whispered, just hoping for a miracle at this point.

((OMG I'M CRYING!!!! </3 :'( ))

Angelica ;; [ Her eyes widened and tears spilled from her eyes when Harry opened the door and they saw Louis on the ground covered in blood. She watched as Katherine and Harry ran towards him and she just stared in shock. Then she walked in slowly, shaking as tears rolled down her face. She looked at the bloody picture on the floor and saw Katherine look at it with tears in her eyes. Their eyes met for a second and then they both looked away. She saw the bloody edge of the drawer and the hole in Louis' shirt that was covered in blood. She whimpered slightly and stepped on something, looking down at the photo and his flower crown. She picked up the flower crown and started shaking even more as she looked at the picture and read the back, eyebrows furrowing in confusion as she looked at Louis and Harry then the picture. She put the photo on the bed and saw the notepad. She grabbed it and saw Louis' perfect script handwriting and i's dotted with broken hearts. She walked over to Harry, Katherine and Louis then put the notepad in Harry's pocket as nurses came in and ran towards Louis. ]

Louis ;; [ He heard Harry's beautiful but broken voice and wanted to open his eyes but he couldn't. He let out a tiny breath then heard Harry say please then he heard nothing at all ... ]

Harry watched as the nurses took Louis away to god knows where. He was numb, he felt nothing at all in that moment. "It's my fault isn't it?" He looked at Angelica with red puffy eyes with tears still pouring down his face "I did that to him."

Angelica ;; [ She watched as the nurses took him away and hoped they were taking him to the hospital. She looked at Harry and shook his head and hugged him tightly. ] "It wasn't your fault .. don't ever say that, Harry. I know Louis and he would never do something like that to himself over a little argument." [ She pulled away and grabbed the bloody picture and wiped the blood off with a grimace and her eyes softened as she looked at Katherine who was staring at the picture with hurt in her eyes. ] "This is Nadia .. Louis' mother?? And Louis?" [ She asked and watched as Katherine nodded silently. ] "I think I found the reason why he did this." [ She said and looked at Harry then back at the photo, a tear falling onto it. Louis looked so happy and so did his mom. She closed her eyes as more tears came down her face and a small sob escaped her lips. ]

(Oh damn!)
::Katherine::
She heard Angelica's voice in her head. I should have been there she said almost crying. She grabbed Harry's neck and said "You are not so small to get disturbed by some maniac...".
Kat
::Merana::
"Doc, I prefer you come with me. ".She ran with Liam. Liam looked too much worried but why? as it's a monster asylum this happens almost everyday.

Harry looked at the picture Angelica was holding and smiled a bit at how happy Louis looked in the picture. He had never really seen a picture of his mother before and he saw some of the qualities the two shared. He always knew her death upset him, but he didn't realize just how much it actually affected him.

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