I am not sure how I would feel about that myself. And then wouldn't Carlisle realize her pain and not inflict this life on her if her loved her so much? Ok I finally got my answer to this. I read a magazine that went through the back stories of each vampire and Esme actually met Carlisle 10 years earlier when she was 16 and fell in love with him then. She was forced to marry an abusive man and lost her baby because of the abuse and that is why she tried to kill herself. This makes so much more sense now.