i think that jacob had it harder because he new she was the one thing he would never have. As much as bella wanted to be friends with him i think that she was slowly falling for him, but she knew that edward was who she wanted and will always want so it made it difficult for her to be with jacob and there for made it worse on him knowing this.
Edward. Could you leave the love of your existence, even for their own good? That took an extraordinary amount of courage, knowing he would be facing agony without her but loving her too much to stay. Total torment. Then thinking she was dead? Anyone who has ever lost someone they loved to the permanence of death can relate to how agonizing that was for him.
i think edward had it harder because at least Jake got to be with Bella (well up til the end). but i feel worse for Jacob being jilted when he's so young and he was so close. but it was all for the better.
Edward had it harder in new moon , because he had to force himself to leave Bella and then when he heard she was dead it just sent himto another level.
But in Eclipse Jacob felt it because he fell in love with Bella and had to loose her when Edward came bsck on the picture,.
i think edward had it harder..He had to leave his true love because he thought it was better for her..Then after he leaves he thinks she dies and believes that...Tries to kill himself then finds out she is still alive when she comes to save him...To me that is alot to go through..
Edward was never forced to leave Bela, he made the choice of leaving her behind unprotected, and he suffered from the consequences of that decision later on as painful as it was. As for Jacob, I'd say he had it less harder because he knew Bella was never going to be' his from the very beginning and he carried on falling for her.