What's Up With Phil? Was Bella Right? Is It Just Asking For Trouble For A Woman To Marry Someone Outside Of Her Own "Age Group?"

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by daisy on October 5, 2010 at 1:57am

Hiya...

I didn't feel reading the book that Bella had such negative feelings towards Phil perse. I think Bella likes to look after people....protect them.....like she did with her unorganized mum. Phil seemed to take over that rule. I think there are several factors that brought Bella to Forks....1. Bella feels her mum doesn't quite need her as much as before and she wants to give her more freedom with Phil. 2. In Forks she knows she may be able to look after her dad a bit..ie cook & clean.
I realise that Bella didn't seem keen to go to Forks initially but she never regretted that decision.

As for Phil's age...I don't think Bella herself has a particular problem with the age difference but I bet her mum may have had some negative feedback or reactions to the relationship by other people. Bella.is fully aware how good Phil is for her mum and there may be a little resentment as Phil split up her & her mum's closeness. Bella & her mum lived alone for a long time and did everything together....Phil changed that. Bella must have some mixed.feelings about that but in the end Bella finds her true love due to her mum finding hers.

As for the age difference between Bella & Edward....hhmm I'll have to get back to you with that one.

Permalink Reply by Natshane on October 5, 2010 at 3:46am

Age is just a number, and I don't think age matters much when it comes to love. Though sometimes it might seemed ridiculous that a 16 year old would fall for a 60 year old, and people come up with bad thoughts such as she is just after his money etc, but maybe she just does? So Renee fell in love with Phil becuase he is Mr. Perfect, that is alright. And Bella fell in love with a 100 ++ year old Edward who appears to be 17, if it's not love, then it wouldn't be right at all. All in all, the basic line is love. XD

ECQ: I think he is an average/alright guy:) I don't really know him that well (from the books and the movies) but I know that he is what is perfect for Renee. While Bella is leading a very interesting life, i know Bella would love her mum to have a happy human life with Phil,..

Permalink Reply by Renesmee's Mother on October 5, 2010 at 2:33pm

If Bella was right and: And it is best for women to marry men "In their own age range" why was her match with Edward correct? OR: WAS IT WRONG AFTER ALL?
To start out I am not sure if it was Phil's age so much, I think Bella wanted to see her mom with someone who would be more mature. Bella's mom had a habit of making bad choices, and Bella wanted to have someone there to "talk" her out of the really bad ones. Appearence may have played a part to, to look at Phil he looked a lot younger.
Bella was more mature then the normal teenager, as Edward was. In the human world Bella and Edward looked the same age. So I think Bella was right, because one day Phil won't be so young he will settle down and where will that leave her mom is she still is child like.

How did you come to feel about Phil Dwyer? Or, Did you feel that he was RIGHT?"
I am not sure where you are going with this Doc, I didn't think his part had much to do with the saga, Except the very begining. Then it was more Bella, choice that she moved with her dad.

Permalink Reply by manuel castro on October 5, 2010 at 11:08pm

Well in this one I disagree with Bella. Marring outside ones age group is not asking for trouble, when it comes to relationships and loving someone you know that this person is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with theirs nothing wrong with that decision. Age is just a number the person you meet might have a lot incomin with each other and understand each other better than most people think. And the question of trust well if you love someone and get to know so well that person and also know you can trust them completely the question of trust doesn't come up. Bella does say that Phil is younger but she also says that he's nice and that he's who her mom wants. I think that her mom doesn't care of their age different, and Bella once she meets Edward changes her mind. Bella know Edward is frozen at 17 but still he's lived over 80 years which makes very mature more adult than most 17 years old that Bella knows. Remember that Bella has a mind of a mature adult but not the experience of one still her relationship with Edward works because they love each other, trust and believe in one other. So no age isn't a difference I've been their and their wasn't any trouble because of age difference at all. Regarding Phil Dwyer he is perfect for Renee seems that Bella's mom found her mate.

Permalink Reply by Toni Ann Whitmore on October 5, 2010 at 11:37pm

hmm I will have to come back to this!!! I need to think about this! Good question!

Permalink Reply by aya mahmoud on October 6, 2010 at 8:06am

hi
ok as a girl who didnot marry or fall in love yet and talking only from the others experiences i think that as long the husband is older than the wife by 5 to 10 years things will be better in renee s case there is another thing to take in count that renee is young for her age which is making me wondering if sh needs a younger man to humor her or if she needs an older saner man to protect her from her self any way i think bella like phil but she would be more thankful if phil kept renee safe and i do not think it would effect bella and edward

Permalink Reply by Debbie Adams on October 7, 2010 at 7:10pm

Wow, that is a good qustion and I don't think that when Bella's mom married Phil, he took some of took some of her spur of the moment decission away and help her to stop and think before she acted and Bella was happy for her mother but for Bella she know Edward would not age and so she did not want to eather. I will ponder a little longer.
Good to see your still giving us great question, Doc. I'm still on the oil spill and it is getting better. hope to be home soon.

Permalink Reply by Sarah Lynnette Anderson Darr on October 11, 2010 at 7:45am

Hi! I am new at this.....
I am on my second marriage. My first one,to my children's dad, was one where I was older by two years. The biggest problem was, he was still in the party stage and did not seem to understand the importance of keeping a steady income with two babies, esp if it interfered with his and his buds good time. When it ended, he left with the paycheck, checking book, and I had no groceries, diapers, rent was due and so was the electric bill. Oh, and my car died, like permenately. So, I am biased on the whole man younger than the woman thing. My second marriage has been what one could call overcompensation, except that it is my soul mate. He is 12 years older than I am, also a previous marriage. no kids though. So, my personal experience has been that an older man and a younger woman are better suited. But isn't the reality actually, that love is what it is and sometimes the man is older, sometimes he is younger. Sometimes, love is found within the same sex even. "To each, his own" is a quote my mother has always quoted to me, so maybe what's on the outside (ie) age, gender, has no bearing and it is truly what is found within?

Permalink Reply by spegs on October 19, 2010 at 6:12am

Dear Doc B,

Whoah...
how many months was did i left the site?
I miss this...
well anyway, my answer to your question is ;

-i think Bella and Edward are fine couple. why? it's because thier minds are both middle aged,
even though they look like teenagers they think like a 30 year old. -grins-
-and Bella is ( I think) right about "marrying-same-age" thing...
-Renne thinks like a 19 year old... So I guess, they are compatible with Phil..
; )

Spegs

Permalink Reply by Doc B M.D. on October 20, 2010 at 9:54pm

Dear Spegs,
I agree with you. To me, maturity and knowledge are two entirely different things. I have cared for lots of patients who were in their 30s, but are still children. And I have cared for 16 year-olds who were fully adult. The younger patients may not know as many facts (many times they do) as the immature thirty year-olds did, but she or he were fully adult. To me Edward and Bella were adults at the start of the Saga. (Yes Bella was more mature that Edward was, at the start of the Saga, but to me, he had caught up with her by the end.
Thank you for sharing,
Yours Doc

Permalink Reply by OneDirectioner♥ on October 23, 2010 at 6:17pm

actually bella and edward are only 1 year apart technically edwards only 17 and bellas 18;bella and edward were MADE FOR EACH OTHER how can you even start a discussion about that? jacob is 2 yrs younger than bella but edward was 17 when he bacame a vampire not like 33. he's a year younger than bella because he didnt want to turn her into a vampire edward was alive for 92 years but during those 92 years he was living as a 17 yr old