The Twilight Saga

Chapter 1-Lessons Learned

I traced the cold marble stone with a light and wandering finger, marveling, as I always did, at just how much like my own skin it was. Almost lazily, I traced the intricate letters, carved with careful effort on Edward’s part. He had done it for me, a lasting memorial, to one I had loved more than my life. The image of the cold body underneath the warm earth upon which I sat was more than I felt I could withstand. I could not feel the grass on this beautiful day, kneeling as I was on the damp soil. I did not know if anything would ever feel warm to me again. If the tears could have come, would have come, only then, could I really have let go and begun to accept all that had transpired in the past week.
For a vampire, time makes plenty of allowances, speeding up and flashing forward, yet it seemed that every detail of the past week was indelibly and excruciatingly etched in my mind. For the first time in a decade, time had slowed and moved at a pace that instead of wishing away, I wanted to hang onto with everything that I possessed. Edward had explained to me that there are very few things that alter a vampire. At the time of the change, all of the personality traits are set in stone, only changing when fate intercedes and sometimes at great cost to the vampire themselves. Edward falling in love with me had forever changed him as had the love of Carlisle and Esme, Alice and Jasper, and of course Rosalie and Emmet.
I had yet to experience a life altering event as I had already been in love with Edward and even my Nessie before I was reborn. But I now knew, that something so powerful had happened and it had caused my perfect life to veer dangerously off course, taking me with it, unwillingly, along for the ride, never to be the same again.
My mind flashed back as my fingers continued to trace the hard stone. So much turmoil, so much hatred, and so much confusion, at least on my part. Of course I was thankful to be alone, to dwell and rethink all that had happened to our family in the past weeks.
The memories were sharp and clear, just like a serrated knife, prodding my brain, poking it, digging and unearthing what I had shut away. I yearned for those dim human memories, struggled to hold on and recover some of what I had been. Shutting my eyes was useless but I found myself looking away as the sun cleared the clouds and covered me in its warming rays. I could not stand to look at my faceted skin, beautiful and cold, shining in the beams, warming my outside, but never piercing the ice that was my heart. For the first time in the ten years of my vampire existence, I loathed what I had become. Hated it, railed against it, and rejected it. I had not hunted in days and the weakness was no doubt a contributing factor to my scattered frame of mind.
From far away, I heard a throat clear, very quietly and almost tentative. Since I knew all of my family’s scents instantly, I knew, without turning around, that even though he had not taken a step toward me, Edward was letting me know that he was there.
Instinctively, I cast my mind out in his direction and let the feelings and hurt, the anger, the self-loathing free to find his mind and help him understand. I had been unable to this point to even think about these feelings myself, carefully shutting them into my “deal with later” drawer and letting everyone think that my biggest problem was just grief.
Now as I let the images and feelings swirl around his head, I let him feel my self-loathing and my temporary rejection of everything “vampire”.
He was of course at my side before I could get the first thoughts away from my mind, but instead of scooping me up to comfort me, he stayed standing, thoughtful and pensive as I covered him with my anguish.
We had made a pact a decade ago, after nearly losing each other to the Volturi, that we would never keep anything, feelings or otherwise, from each other. Since I had developed my skills of “showing” him all that was in my mind, it became habit and I never kept anything, even the darkest and most forbidden longings from him.
His expression was not the one of horror that I had imagined as I let my thoughts flow free. Every now and again he would seem to move toward me as if to comfort me, but then seemed to understand that for the first time in our relationship, I needed space and time to work through all of this.
The images became violent as I saw the horror of the murder over and over again, powerless to stop it and yet, knowing that I could not let it go without vengeance. This particular memory seemed to trigger something in him and it was only then that he knelt beside me and touched his perfect hand to my hardened face. I had only to look into his eyes and know that in spite of the feelings I was having now, the difficulties with my decisions, I had not made a mistake when I chose to spend the rest of my existence with this man, my angel, my only saving grace in this moment of everything lost.
I concluded my thoughts and drew back into myself as I tried to smile for him, the very reason that I was breathing today. His breath stole over me and in a single movement; he began to cover me with the kisses that always drove everything else from my mind. The need for him, became urgent and I felt myself pushing him down in to the grass, hoping he would lose himself in me right here, and help me forget, even for a moment.
“Bella love, I wish I could make you see how very much I need you right now.” he whispered, gathering me into his arms and moving us as one to a small grove of trees, where the cool and dark suited me perfectly.
“Edward” I cried as he began to touch me like the gentlest of raindrops on overheated skin. The torture was exquisite and I forgot all else, as the raindrops became a thunderstorm, bearing down on me, covering me everywhere, with his tongue and fingers in perfect unison. No matter how many thousands of times we came together, it never ceased to feel like the first time for both of us and the hunger seemed to consume us, never letting up.
I needed this like the grass around me needed rain and the birds above me needed to sing with the joy of their spring. I needed him and when we were joined as one, I realized that I could never trade my immortality if it meant living without this.
All too soon, we were both spent, but not out of breathe as he still covered me with his perfect body. I managed a half-hearted giggle as I glanced up and saw my shirt and a sock hanging in an overhead branch. Not so nearby, Edward’s jeans and sweater were flung halfway across the field and my shoes, were no where to be seen. As if on cue, my other sock dropped from overhead somewhere and landed right in Edward’s outstretched hand. I could hear him chuckling and for that moment, as he intended, I felt as if I was ready to begin another day and perhaps smile a time or two, if only for my families’ benefit.
Fully dressed in less than a second, we lay side-be side just looking into the others’ eyes in silence for a few moments. We had not made love, since the life-changing tragedy of a week ago and I knew that Edward was wondering what had changed today. I tried to collect my thoughts and then gently tracing his angelic face, I began to speak, although the voice did not sound like me at all.
“I am sorry for that visual attack. I could not really hold it in anymore and I knew that you were suffering as much as I was, so I needed you to know……” my voice trailed off as I sat up, wrapping my knees to my chest, something I had not done since my human days.
I could feel the lazy circles, rubbing my back and I closed my eyes, willing the bad thoughts to stay away, even for a few more moments.
I could also feel the pain, echoing mine that emanated off of Edward, giving voice to the complete intertwining of my being and his. We were just two half’s of a whole and had been for many years now. He also knew when to distract me and exactley how to do it. My self-hatred and anger was so hard for him to bear. Luckily he knew the one thing that would ensure my interest, if even for a few precious moments.
“Zafrina and Senna sent word that Renesmee is having a wonderful time in Peru and trekking at Iguaçu Falls, enjoying the coast in Argentina….” Edward started brightly.
Renesmee, her name hit me like a ton of bricks, like holding her for the first time so many years ago. None of her magic had worn off, only gotten stronger as she grew, first very quickly and then more slowly, her beauty strengthening and her heart expanding to include all of those she came in contact with. At the actual age of 10, she looked and acted 16 or 17, every protective father and imprinted werewolves’ nightmare. Her beauty was unmatched, although she seemed completely oblivious, preferring to be a tomboy, running with Jacob and the pack, climbing trees and wrestling mountain lions, writing in her journals which I made Edward promise not to “read”, and surprisingly enough, befriending Leah, and spending much of her free time, when she was not with Jacob, sitting in “our” meadow and talking to Leah about who knew what.

Wanna read more? Should I keep going? Is it any good? Anybody interested?

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Yes, please continue. This is very good.
i think its very good !!
This is excellent! I want more, please keep going!
I am intrigued!!! Write more. Did Bella kill someone????? I had thought something happened to Renesmee. Thank goodness she is fine!!! But I still want to read more.
Thanks for the encouragement guys, I am working on the finishing this chapter so will have the next part up tommorow for sure!! You guys are so awesome!! Thanks again!!
Marilee
yes,yes,yes!
Ok here is the continuation of the first chapter. I promise it is getting better, just bear with me as I am fleshing this out. Keep reading for a shocking development coming tommorow!! Enjoy.....

Chapter 1 (part 2) Lessons Learned

Part of me could see her now, running freely in the South American countryside with Jacob loping at her side, Zafrina and Senna moving sensuously in the shadows, teaching her, showing her the wonders of their world. Of course we had gotten daily updates from Alice and there was no need for postcards. Renesmee had gotten so tall and lanky as well as more beautiful. Her dark hair, hanging in ringlets, was always tied up in a messy, afterthought of a ponytail or loose bun. It was her eyes that always made me stop and stare in wonder. My eyes, Charlie’s eyes, so warm, loving and willing to do anything for anyone, especially her Jacob and our family.
I cringed inwardly at Charlie’s name. It seemed like forever since I had seen him, held him in my arms and most recently, congratulated him at his wedding to Sue Clearwater. Without realizing it I had included Edward in my visions and his smile was soft as he watched me remember these precious memories.
Edward jumped to his feet suddenly and I felt myself flying through the air toward him. As we embraced, he whispered in his velvet voice, always meant to reassure me.
“No one will ever disturb this place Bella. Very few even know it is here and you know that Alice will be here everyday, keeping it constantly renewed.”
“That being said, we need to get home. Alice is up to something and I am not sure what it is yet. People will be stopping by on the way out of town and we cannot forego those goodbyes. At least it will be brief.” he continued, almost to himself.
One last look was all I would allow myself as I turned slowly to face the fresh grave. I was grateful at this point that I was unable to produce tears as I would certainly have not been able to stop the waterworks. I had wallowed enough for a week it seemed, and was slowly shutting the drawer on my guilt and self-loathing depression for today. Edward saw my hesitation and wrapped both arms around my waist from behind, ever so gently.
“When you are ready, we will talk about this my love. Until then, I am here to make the darkness a bit less oppressive.” He whispered in my ear as he led me to the car. His patience never ceased to amaze me, even after all I had showed him, and he knew that when I was ready, he would be the only one I would turn to for comfort. To deserve such patience and gentle love, so unconditional reminded me of those dim human memories that I so treasured.
***************

The first person I saw as we pulled into the driveway, still lined with cars, was Jasper, who had been my constant companion this week, hovering and making sure that my emotions never raged too far one way or the other. It had taken all of Edwards doing to get him to let us go to the meadow alone today, without my emotional babysitter.
In a flash he was by my side, hugging me, a worried look on his beautiful face and I sighed as the peaceful feelings crept over me and allowed me to smile a bit.
“Jasper, my brother, what would I do without you?” I whispered and touched his beautiful face.
His answer was a brilliant smile and a slight turn of his head.
“I think it did you good to go there. Although I certainly didn’t see how, but Alice was so sure…..”His voice held a note of excitement I had not heard in awhile. “I’m thinking that you turned a corner and actually let yourself think about some things today, instead of throwing yourself into all the preparations and letting everyone else do the thinking for you. Very healthy Bella, No one could be happier than me.”
I glanced at Edward who had taken my hand and knew that with happiness in such short supply these days, each crumb of it was eagerly consumed and not questioned.
As we wandered up and into the living room, I could make out several muted conversations and even laughter interspersed throughout the mix. No doubt the wolves were keeping the vampires entertained, a thought that caused me to chuckle and Edward to shake his head.
“Who would have thought?” he commented simply.
Even without Renesmee and Jacob around, the wolves often found themselves enjoying the “toys” that Carlisle always welcomed them to and keeping enough food in the house was always a challenge these days. Video game marathons and sports on the big screen TV always ensured that one or two of the pack would be hanging around on any given day.
Sam was the exception as was Leah, but Jacob could always be heard taunting them with the latest descriptions of everything electronic. Carlisle was always ordering the newest and best of everything to keep them entertained and he and Emmett had even added an indoor basketball/swimming complex near the garage where Renesmee and the wolves spent many hours. Carlisle insisted that it was for everyone’s benefit but we all knew that he has built for Renesmee and Jacob especially.
The living room was still packed with humans and vampires alike, and I was passed from person to person again and again as I seemed to float through the room.
Renee and Phil, both dressed for traveling, made their way over to Edward and me and immediately I was in her arms, tears seeming to explode from everywhere.
“Oh Bella, the service was beautiful and so fitting and right and just……” her voice trailed off with a sob and shudder.
Phil rubbed my mom’s back and made noises as if to comfort her but I knew that I was the only one that she wanted right now. I glanced at Edward and he nodded.
“Phil, have I shown you the new pitching machine we got in the backyard?”
Of course Phil’s eye’s lit up and he was led off with a concerned glance back over his shoulder. Renee’s hand motioned him to go as she focused back on me. Nervously she wiped at the tears, and I could see so many questions in her eyes.
“Mom, why don’t we go out to the cottage and I’ll get some tea brewing and we can talk for awhile. We’ve hardly had time to say hello, much less sit and really discuss what’s happened.” I began, as I put my cold arm around her seemingly frail shoulders. She did not shudder or instinctively pull away like she had at first. Instead, she held onto my other hand as if it was a life preserver, and she was going down.
Ok here is the next installment from Edwards POV with a cliffhanger......Hope you enjoy. It's still a bit rough.
Thanks again,
Marilee

CHAPTER 2-Undecided-Edward

I had never heard Alice raise her voice, so when her screaming interrupted my composing reverie, I was instantly searching her mind for Bella and Renesmee, away hunting. Instead I saw a pair of rough, scarred hands, holding something I could not quite make out. The hands were shaking as if controlled by someone else. As Alice drew closer, the picture became clearer and I could see the terrifying scene playing out before me.
“Edward, we have to go now….. He hasn’t decided, we have to stop him.” She spoke quickly and began to pull me. As the horror of the vision began to escalate, Alice and I were already running at top speed.
We flew through the trees, a blur, and much faster than driving. As the town of Forks came into view, Alice and I slowed down to a normal pace and tried to jog without attracting too much attention. Letting her lead the way, we crossed the main street and headed toward our destination. The Banner Elk, a local dive, came into view and we slipped behind the dark blue sedan, parked near the front door.
The interior was dark and smoky, similar to any other small-town bar I had never been in. The neon beer signs, pool tables and run-down feeling, made me realize quickly that I had not been missing anything.
“He’s in the back and there are a lot of humans watching.” Alice said grimly, leading the way again.
We moved slowly enough so as not to draw anyone’s attention and it seemed to be working. The night was still young so the place was not packed, but there were enough people that I began to wonder exactly what we were walking into.
As we rounded the corner, near the farthest pool table, a scene out of my worst nightmares came into view. I paused as a dreamlike state fell over me, and I was only aware of the beating hearts closest to me, one which seemed to beat faster than the rest.
Alice slid around so that I could have a view from the other side, through her mind.
He was there, the shaking hands and sweaty palms, only now, as I saw him clearly, I noticed that his whole body shook and I began to hear him.
“How’d I get into this?” his thoughts were bewildered and scattered. The fear coming off of him was almost cloying in its stench and I struggled to concentrate.
“What the hell am I doing? All I needed was a drink, couldn’t he see that. If he’d just given me the drink, I’d be outta here.”
Ah, it all made sense, the trembling hands, the dirty, stinking clothes. A homeless man suffering DT’s and now he had a gun.
Alice’s eyes were huge as she froze into place, indecisive as to what to do. So many witnesses standing around, as quiet and statue like as we were. I wanted to laugh at the ease in which I could have taken this man down if it were not for the witnesses and the man standing at the other end of the gun. Since Alice and I had run in here like, well, humans, fear being our strongest motivator, the element of surprise was lost.
A pair of eyes caught mine for a split second and widened in surprise, as if seeing an illusion.
“C’mon Dale, let’s do this nice and easy, you don’t want to shoot anyone here. We’re all friends and we are gonna get you some help.” the slow, easy drawl was comforting and firm at the same time.
“Oh God Charlie, all I wanted was a drink, I ain’t gonna shoot no body.” The man whined.
The man’s thoughts were consumed with the suffering of DT’s in a jail cell and all I could feel was pity.
Charlie, both hands in the air, moved closer to the shaking man and the gun and instinctively, I felt myself pulled in as well. A quick shake of his head stopped me in my tracks. I heard Charlie’s reassuring murmuring along with the racing of the drunk’s heart. It happened so fast, too fast for anyone to move, but when Alice’s scream split the silence at the same time the gun went off, I was already on top of Charlie. We both fell to the ground and I tried to shield his body with my arms. I heard a scuffle behind me, as it sounded like the drunk was being subdued but all of my thoughts were focused on the now ashen face, before me.
I did not have to look to know that the blood was pouring from somewhere near Charlie’s heart and his lips began to move without sound. Alice, on the phone with Carlisle, speaking so fast…. A part of me knew that no matter what I did at this moment, Charlie was dying and the tearing feeling inside me grew stronger, until I felt it would rip me apart. I knew I could save him, for Bella, but what then of Charlie. I ripped off my shirt and someone had brought some towels that I stuffed into the wound, trying to staunch the flow. The blood was strong, so close to the heart, but I barely noticed it. This was Charlie, Bella’s dad, the epitome of all that was good and right in the world.
“Alice, honey, come down here.” Charlie whispered and coughed a bit.
“Charlie, Carlisle is on his way and you’re going to be just fine. Don’t try to talk” she crooned, smoothing his dark hair away from his sweating face. Her calm voice gave away nothing. Inside her head was a different story. She was screaming at me with a loss of control that I had never heard.
“Edward, you have to do something now. He is losing too much blood. Carlisle will not get here in time and he is not going to make it to the hospital. You have to save him for me Edward, for Bella. He’s her father.”
I glanced around and noticed that the crowd had backed off and was making room for the paramedics to get in. The siren’s wail was still far enough away for me to be quick and efficient if I needed to be.
“Edward, please…” Charlie’s weary voice beckoned to me and I bent down to be closer to his face. I took in his eyes, Bella’s eyes, my daughter’s eyes.
“It wasn’t Dale’s fault. Just shaky hands. My stupid fault for getting too close. Make sure they go easy on him, he’s been a sick man for a long time.” He whispered. “Take care of my Bella, and Nessie. You always have Edward….”
“Charlie, save your strength, you’re going to be fine,” I lied. “You can tell Bella and Ness yourself when you’re all patched up. Alice will kill you if you don’t get better”
His smile was a bit crooked and his eyes managed to light up at the mention of his best girl’s names. “Aahh, Alice, I love her too, my second daughter.” He whispered before he lapsed into unconsciousness.
“Edward, you have to do something. We have to get him out of here before the ambulance get’s here. We have to get him home as soon as possible. It’s the only way. We are wasting time here.”
Alice’s thoughts had taken on a wild and desperate edge and I knew that the time to act was almost gone.
But what of Charlie? Would he really want to live this life of night? Would he even be suited to it? Would Bella want him to be condemned to immortality? Would she hate me for turning her good and upright father into a monster? Would Charlie hate what he had become, just to stay in this world? What was I to do? The confusion and utter despair swamped my mind and I tried to resurface, to think, to act. I was frozen in indecision and hatred of the power that I had to “save” Charlie’s life. Alice was staring at me expectantly and I could not look into her eyes. What was I going to do?
Wow!!!! Poor Charlie. Such a tough decision for Edward to make. I think that Bella would want Charlie saved, but I don't know that Charlie would want that.

Great chapter! Can't wait for more.
This is really fantastic, please continue when you have time.
Is there anymore? I really love the start!
yes i would also like to read more definitely please please

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