You want to know something? I have had one of those lives. Where you just want to give up. To yell at the world. But I want to tell you my story, to tell you that over time things get better.
I was born to James and Rhonda. I had a sister who, at the time, was 4. Then later my baby brother came. We were a loving family. I was born with really bad eye sight so my family was always there when I had a surgery. They were always there. We had everything. My mom put together the best 9th birthday ever for me, she was the best mom I could ever ask for. I was her little angel. I looked just like her. I was little Rhonda. She was my idol. She always put her kids first no matter what. She was very caring and never yelled at me.
But then, something happened, she was diagnosed with lung cancer. Which was not good. As you know there is no cure. I didn’t really know what to think. I was 10. My brother was 6. My sister, 13. We were all scared. My dad said it might be awhile before she be back. I didn’t really think much of it. When I first went to go see her I was so happy! I wanted to see mommy so bad. We went to something called the ICU. She had so many wires of stuff around her. It scared me. Before I knew it I was crying. We could only be there for a little bit. We said our good-byes a left. The next day, May 12th, dad said we were going to go see mommy again, which confused me. We weren’t suppose to see her for a few days. But I didn’t care. When I saw here again, she looked worse, which confused me again. Right before we left she said ‘I love you, never forget me.’ I ran back and hugged her. That was the last thing I heard her say. The next day, was mothers day. My dad called a family meeting. Once I heard those first six words I knew it was over. ‘Her heart was just to weak.’ I was crying. The tears just keep coming. At that moment my life changed. All I wanted was my mom. To be in her arms, to hear her say that she loved me. That would never happen again. This was to much for me to handle. I was on the floor. Yelling at god.
A week later was the funnel. Not something I was looking forward to. When I walked down those aisle’s of chairs I stared crying. Right before me was my mom, her dead body. When I touched her hand it was cold. I cried, about to break down. Once people started showing up they all said the same thing, I’m sorry. Once it stared I prayed to god to tell my mom that I already missed her.
The worst part about the funnel, was seeing the coffin lower into the ground. I’ll never forget that day.
Weeks passed and I hadn’t gone a day without crying. I would scream at night and shut the world out during the day. I dealt with my pain in all the wrong ways.
A year later the pain eased, but it never went away. My mom wouldn’t want me to be in pain.
So you may ask what was the point of my story? Did I make you cry? I’m sorry if so. But the point was that if you hate life, other people have gone throw it. So don’t give up. Don’t live in pain.
So if something like this happens to you, don’t lock the world out.
But don’t forget them.