First, Please ignore Alec if he hacks my account which, I'm sure he will do.
Secondly, i dont really mind being stalked, Demetri already does that. If you want to take one of my pictures (Again, I apologize about the size and quality... I'm working on fixing Felix's stupid camera now. Why can't he just buy new one?) just leave a link to my profile. I don't really like people who pretend to be me (or my brother). So, if you are going to use my photos, don't use them for another profile as me or my brother. Thank you for your cooperation.
I dont mind being with the cullens either. I do believe that they deserve to be punished for countlessly breaking the rules, but however, but if forced in a room with them i will attempt to converse. I'm not as mean as people believe me to be. Sadistic? Yeah, that word can sum me up.
People ask if i am in love with my master. I love master, I just am not in love with him.... besides, his wife would not allow it. My brother begs to differ. He thinks that i keep an "Aro Doll" under my pillow... but im a witch! I have an Alec doll too!!
I am beginning to hate this "Twilight" book. According to fans, it sounds like i am seriously in love with master. Who even decided that they could just include me in their book? Who could expose us to humans?? I must have a talk with this Stephenie Meyer.
I am also led to believe that Stpehenie Meyer is Aro. Master has already told me about Bella and Edward, if that is what this stupid book, or "novel", is about. Yeah, Bella was a frail human but is now a vampire. So? She thinks she is better then me just because my power doesnt affect her. Just wait and see, i will have my revenge.
It has come to my realization that several of you do not know how I have come to being. I was originally born in Salem, Massachusetts. As stated before, the year of birth is unclear, but is somewhere between 1979 and 1980. When i was bout eleven years old, I began to find witchcraft fascinating, as did my brother. We would visit the local witch, who would teach us new spells, charms, hexes and all things of this sort. One day, while traveling, I had put a hex on a beast that was attacking my brother and I. This "hex" also influenced my gift. The particular hex i used sent the beast crying onto the ground in agony. My master, who had been watching me, decided that both my brother and I would be great additions to his guard. We did not know this at the time, but later discovered that Aro was just waiting us to get older. We never did get the chance to age; Our witchcraft was discovered about a week later. Being forced into potato sacks, we were dragged to the stakes and burned. Master saved us and brought us to Volterra, where we still reside. I discovered my power a few hours after first waking up from the three days of pain, Alec finding his about twenty minutes later.
Alec: Hahhaaaa! Love you sissie :) Me: Alec....What the hell is that??!?!? Erggh. My Current Home, Volterra. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.
And a Sketch of My Hometown, Salem, Massachusetts:
Alec- Hey Jane!!!! Look what I found!!!!
Alec- A picture of you before we got burnt!!
Me- How did you keep that preserved?
Alec.- ...It was in my old copy of "Gone with the wild"
Me- You're re-reading it?
Alec- Yeah. Now check this out!
Me- Should I be scared? I must look so ugly as a human!
Alec- Nahh, you dont look that bad.
Alec- See? You dont look bad.
Me- Can I have that book?
*Alec hands Me his copy of gone with the wild*
Me- Did you see all the weird pictures in here? Look at this!!
*WE both cracked up laughing...look at that!!*
Alec- Oh jane.... Doesnt master look handsome?
Me- Don't mess with me Alec.
Alec- Just saying, everyone knows you love him....
* I hurt Alec for a few seconds*
Me- Yeah, huh??!?!? And everyone watches you follow around Heidi like a lost puppy!!!
Alec- Are you getting your period or something?
Me- Are you?
If you haven't learned enough about my brother yet, this is him.
He is commonly known as the less murderous one, because to many others, I am well, vicious.
If you are totally clueless to whom I am, this is me.
This is a picture of the two of us:
Alec- JANE!!! I FIXED IT!!!
Me- You fixed the camera??
Me- OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU!!!!
Alec- love you too. Now here are your pictures, go crazy with captions.
Me- Aww i like that picture.
Alec- Yeah, you don't look completely freaky.
Me- OH MY GOD.
Alec- I told you that you can look pretty freaky.
Alec- Wasnt that from picture day?
Me- Oh yeah.....that was so stupid. Why do we even have Volturi picture day every year?
Alec- I have no idea.
Alec- Another picture day photo...?
Me & Alec- Okay...?
Me- Ewww....Cullen's in the picture.
Me- What is that supposed to be?
Alec- I have no idea.
Alec- I like that picture :)
Me- Thanks. Me too. I dont look like im going to kill someone.
Alec- You kind of always look like your going to kill someone...
Me- Not all the time!! You always look like you have to pee.
Alec- I do??
Me- Yeah!!! Take a look:
Alec- Do i seriously always look like that?
Me- Most of the time.
Alec- Eww... wow. That can be creepy.
Me- I would have thought that you emptied ur blatter at the stakes...
Alec- What are you talking about?
Me- When we were burned you peed your pants!!!
Alec- WHAT?? Did not.
Me- And i guess you didnt cry either?
Me- What?? You did cry.
Alec- So did you.
Me- So what? I'm a girl.
Alec- You are?
Me- You wanna check?
Alec- NO. i believe you.
Me- Haha!!! I remember that picture day!!! But what is that 'new moon' thing on the bottom?
Me- Whats the matter?
Alec- Why did you get to be in the front??
Me- OH wow Alec. Are you kidding me?
Alec- Its not fair!!!!!
Me- I guess im just cooler. But your okay.
Me- Wow, Alec. You look like your going to hug me like a mad man.
Alec- I was considering it.
Me- Really? Why?
Alec- I have no idea... I was pretty bored.
Me & Alec- HAHAAA!
Alec- You gotta love picture day... no matter how stupid it is, ehh?
Alec- Dont Canadian's say that?
Me- Isnt that justa steoryotype?
Alec- No idea.
Me & Alec- WHAT THE HELL????
Alec- Picture Day.... 1874?
Jane- Wow. Just wow.
Alec- What where we wearing??
Me- I think i look pretty cute there too.
Alec- You do.
Me- Thanks!!!!!!!!! :D
Me & Alec- ...
Me- Why do so many pictures come up like that? And why do i come up blonde in all of these?
Alec- I guess i didnt fix EVERYTHING on this damn camera....
Me- My hair came out normally in THAT one...
Alec- So i did fix it?
Me- Guess so. ** Note: I have Black hair. I cant comprehend why people say i have blonde hair. My hair is BLACK.
Alec- isnt that a little too much eyeliner?
Me- Im wearing less then you.
Alec- Im not wearing eyeliner!!!
Alec- WHY… ARE … YOU… ALWAYS… IN …THE …FRONT??!!!?!!?!
Me- Alec.... thats what all the pictures looked like before...
Alec- DAMN. i know what we're buying felix for his birthday!!
Me- What do you mean 'we'?
Alec- What are you? From Indiana Jones?
Heidi- That was such a pretty dress. I made a good pick in that photo.
Me- Heidi, what are you doing here?
*Alec begins to drool at Heidi's name*
Heidi- I heard about your profile. Now why don't you ever let me dress you? We could go fishing together some day.
Me- Heids...... you know master thinks im too young to go fishing, i wouldnt be much use. And do you know how short that dress is? It doesnt even reach my knees!
Heidi- Its not supposed to! And that dress is pretty modest looking... Alec do you want a napkin or something...?
Me- I think he needs a towel.
*Alec wipes the drool of his mouth*
Alec- wow. When did you take that....?
Me- Picture day?
Me & Alec- :O
Heidi- OH! Thats mine....
Me & Alec- :O
Me- Was that from last night....?
Alec- I wondered what that sound was. wow.
Alec- Thats mine....
Me- Does Felix know his camera is being abused?
Me- Didnt Afton draw that?
Me- I LOOK LIKE A DUDE!
Alec- I LOOK LIKE A CHICK!
Me- And.... a picture of your eye?
Alec- Thats not my eye. Its yours.
Me & Alec- YEAHHH! TWIN POWER!!
Alec- Doesnt master look hot?
Me- Are you gay, Alec?
Alec- What? You dont think Aro is handsome?
Me- I AM NOT IN LOVE WITH MASTER.
Me- I think i look emo...
Alec- Are you wearing a bathing suit?
Me- Uh... i think so.... wow, akwaaardd.
Me- Heidi must have dressed me.
Heidi- Of course!! Who else would have make you look so fabulous?
Alec- Alice Cullen?
Alec- nothing. *Backs away scared*
Alec- Wow, you look so young and innocent, haha!!
Me- Wow. I really gotta find a picture of you a few years back.
Alec- A few HUNDRED years back.
Me- Yeah yeah, whatever.....OHMYGOD!
Me- Oh shut up, you where a cute little kid!!
Alec- SURE i was.
Alec- Oh, i like that oneee!!!!
Me- Me too.... but seriously, when did we take that? and what is that new moon thing??!?!
Alec- I should google new moon one day.
Me- I know, right?
Heidi- why dont you ever wear that dress??
Me- Its so so SHORT!!!
Alec- HAHA! I LOVE MORTAL DAY!!
Me- Ha! I remember that!!!! Mortal day is soo damn fun :)
Volturi Guard- YEAHHHHH!
Felix- We so beat the Cullens!!
Corin- They were practicly shaking!!
Alec- I could take Emmett any day!!
Demetri- Alice, meet your match!!!!!!!!
Me- Forget Alice, lets get Bella!!
Volturi Guard- YEAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me- WOW i look so weird...
Alec- So do I!!!
Me- Are we wearing fur cloaks or is that just me?
Alec- If its just you then I must be going insane as well.
Me & Alec- TWIN POWER!!!
Alec- We do that alot, don't we?
Me- Yeah, but who cares? We're awesome.
Alec- So true.Afton- Hey guys, I tried drawing you again!! Take a look:
Me & Alec- *Blink blink*
Me- Since when where you into anime?
Afton- Uh..... I really have no idea.
Alec- Is that supposed to be Jane being burned?
Alec- Where am I??
Me- You don't get to be in my picture, you're not cool enough.
Afton- What do you want? This is JANE'S page. When you ask for a cool picture of yourself, I'll draw it.
Alec- Hmmphh.Alec- Hey Jane!!!!
Alec- I was talking to Bella and she said that your hair always comes out blonde in photos because you have another power!!
Me- Are you sure its not just felix's camera?
Alec- Thats why i have Corin's camera. Now smile!!
*My brother snaps a photo of me*
Me- ARE YOU KIDDING ME???
Alec- Congrats, you just discovered a new power, you come up blond in photos!!
Me- What the hell is that good for?
Alec- You tell me.
Me- WOW. thats probably the most pointless ability ever.Alec- Corin's camera is pretty awesome!!
Me- How so?
Alec- You can edit your pictures on it
Me- So you can make my hair normal again?
Alec- Uhh.... no. But look what you CAN do:
Me- Seriously, Alec?
Alec- Isnt it perfect?? I made this too:
Me- Well, at least its better then Felix's camera.
Alec- Yeah, your hair is blonder *Alec giggles while I punch his sholder repetitivly*
Me- EGGHHHH!Alec- speaking of felix, he left you an edit.
Alec- He randomly edited a pic of you. Take a look:
Me- Who the hell cares if I have a bun?
Alec- H0T CROSS BUNS, HOT CROSS BUNS...
Me- Why did I see that coming?
Alec- Maybe you're Alice Cullen too?
Me- EWWW So you rape me?
Alec- I HATE THESE DISTURBING FANGIRL STORIES xD
Alec- Oh, and Afton drew you another picture
Me- Why is he so obsessed with anime lately?
Me- Hey Afton, I hope you realize that i have red eyes.
Alec- ALICE CULLEN.
Me- Shut up Alec. And why am I wearing a hoodie?
Afton- I ran out of red colored pencils… and I have no idea.
Me- So you just went, 'I'm going to make Jane wear a hoodie!'?
Me & Alec- WOW...
My latest adventure with the Cullen's was quite amusing... haha!! Alec, you are so retarted. ily~
Esme had invited me over to terrorize Renesmee because she wouldn't the "human food"? I don't exactly blame her, human food is repulsive. Why Renesmee is afraid of me, I have no idea. *I open door, the half-breed looks up, shreaks, then runs away. I just roll my eyes*
Me- Hey Esme! I found some old pictures of you in the attic.
Esme- Really? Where were they from?
Me- I'm not sure. I think Carlisle took them and just stuffed them up there.
Me- Wanna see them?
*I show here the first photograph*
Me- How old were you there?
Esme- How did Carlisle get a picture of me 6 years old?
Me- You were 6 and reading a book? Nerd...Hmmm...I think Carlisle was stalking you. *giggles*
*I hold up the next picture.*
Esme- Eww, I look like a man.
Me- *I start to laugh hysterically, lol!* HAHA!
Esme Please change it. Its too horrifying too see.
*I show her the next picture...*
Me- Where did they get that picture FROM?
Esme- Errr...maybe the hospital had a video camara?
Me- You still look like a man.
*I pull out the next pic.*
Esme- Wow...I actually look nice...
Esme- When did I have a myspace account?
*The doorbell rings so i proceed to open the door to find Alec is standing in the doorway.*
Me- ALEC! I missed you!
Esme- You can't stay a few hours without each other?
Me & Alec- Nope.
Alec- What are you doing here? *disgust on the word "here".*
Me- Looking at old photos of Esme. *holds up picture.*
Alec- Wow...you look so...fat.
Me & Alec: *We begin to laugh crazily* FAT ESME!
Esme- Jane, hurt him.
Me- Can't. His my brother.
Esme- In that case. *pulls Alec's hair*
Alec- AHHHHHHH! *shrieking*
Me- Wow...you scream like a girl. *muffled giggle*
*Takes out next photo.*
Me- Whats with the side ponytail?
Esme- I have no idea...
*Alec runs upstairs... followed by Renesmee screaming. Alec screams next then runs back downstairs.*
Alec- You could have told me she was changing. Now she thinks I'm gonna rape her!
*Me & Esme laugh uncontrollably while I pick out the next photo.*
Alec- OMG! Esm-
Esme- Don't even say it.
Alec- But look you have a zit!
Esme- What?!? *looks at picture closely* Awww...
Me- Your photos are so retarted.
*Carlisle enters the house.*
Esme- Do remember these photos?
Carlisle- Oh...Ummm...I'll get back to you on that....*runs to the hospital.*
Me- SO HE WAS STALKING YOU AS A HUMAN!
Esme- *face palm.*
*I pull out the next photo...*
Esme- Is that Bella?
Me- Why are her eyes blue?
Alec- Why is she wearing black lipstick?
Esme- When did she get a piercing??
*Renesmee screams again...*
Me & Alec- SHUT UP!!!
We left a bit after that... Perhaps I'll post the rest of Esme's retarted pictures... If she allows me. HA! Anyways, Here's what happened on the way home...
Me & Alec- HAA!
Me- Why are all of Esme's pictures so retarted?
Alec- Why is she so fat in them all?
Me & Alec- HAHAAA!!!
*Edward and Bella come into view, connected at the hip. I point at Bella and she responds my gesture.*
*I jump at Bella... Who attempts to attack me while Alec and Edward try to stop us. The mutant screams somewhere far off.*
Alec- JANE, we'll be killing people in an hour, can't you wait until then?
Edward- Wait, you're eating humans, right?
*The mutant screams again, followed by Alec grinning at his previous memory.*
Edward- You... saw... my.... daughter... naked??
Alec- Your daughter is hot, dude.
*Edward attacks Alec... while Carlisle pops out of no-where. He places a hand on Edward's shoulder.*
Carlisle- Son, find a will.
Me, Alec, Esme, Renesmee & Bella- What the hell?
Me & Alec- Golden eyes are weird.
-----Afton- Oh Jane....
Me- Yes, Afton?
Afton- I made some more pictures!!!
Alec- Did you draw one for me this time????
Afton- Uh... So, here they are!
Me- Afton, thats amazing!!! Did you paint that?
Afton- Yupp. And I made this one a while back....
Alec- Are you gay?
Afton- What? No... Why do you ask?
Alec- I don't know... fencing, drawing.... it seems kind of gay.
Afton- Alec, I'm married.
Afton- If anyone is gay, its you. Like, your over 400 years old and your still a virgin. Thats pretty pathetic.
Alec- BUT I LOOK 13. Everyone takes me for granted, what do you want?
Afton- Alec, are YOU gay?
*I start laughing*
Alec- Erghh. I need a girlfriend. *walks off.*
Me- Ohkay... Now what did you draw a while ago?
Afton- Take a look...
Me- Damn Afton, what drawing books do you read?
This bit takes place about a week later... Alec- Jane!!! Look what I made!
Me- What is it?
Alec- I was taking drawing lessons from Afton... so I drew our family!!!
Me- LOL is that our guard? Why are we so short? And you drew stick figures??
Alec- Because we're smallllll!!!! Yeah. I also made a picture of us minors of the guard... look, look!
Me & Alec- HAHA!!!!!!!!
Me- You suck at drawing, you know? No offesne.
Alec- Yeah I know... I didn't give you a bun!!!
Me- Oh Alec....
Me- My robe is darker then yours. You know what that means?
Alec- Uh, no?
Me- It means that I'm higher in rank (;
Alec- Hmph. SO? I'm sexier.
Felix- NOT THIS AGAIN.
Felix- WE LOOK BADASS!!
Me & Alec- ...
Alec- Janie looks fuunyyyy.
Jane- Must you call me 'Janie'?
Alec- Yes. TEHE.
Jane- Looks like some things never change. *Rolls eyes*
Felix- OH COMON, its a good picture. So shut up and stare at me you guys!
Me & Alec- ...