First I think you need to be more descriptive like explain the area and the people so we can get a picture in our mind.
Other than that it is a good start to the story. Welcome to the site now get your butt to my story and read it.…"
"This was another amazing chapter, and yay the volturi are being killed like nothing wooooooop wooooooooop, that tattoes that appear on them remined me of a series of books i am reading called "marked" it's so cool congrats, oh i…"
"lol that's a huge bike! my bro will b drooing over that when i show him... and my dad 4 as matter-of-fact!
great chapter... awesome fight! cool swordwork!
hmmmmmmmm the patterns sound cool.
FINALLY some1 is standing up 2 the volturi...…"