Can you cry under water?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?.
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Can Bald people have Hairline fractures?
If nobody buys a ticket to a movie do they still show it?
If you have a cold hot pocket, is it just a pocket?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why is the show called unsolved mysteries? if they were solved they wouldn't be mysteries?
Why is it said that an alarm clock is going off when really its coming on?
Why did Sally sell seashells on the seashore when you can just pick them up anyway?
In libraries, do they put the bible in the fiction or non-fiction section?
Why are both of Spongebob's parents round like sea sponges while he is square like a kitchen sponge?
If you pamper a cow, do you get spoiled milk?
Why is it that if someone yells "duck" they are helping you, but if they yell "chicken" they are insulting you?
If the FBI breaks your door down do they have to pay for it?
If they have angel food cake on earth, do they have people food cake in heaven?
You know the signs on restaurant doors? No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service? what if someone goes in with No Pants? Would the restaurant still have to serve them?
If an African elephant comes to America, is it an African-American elephant?
If the Wicked Witch of the West melts in water... how did she ever bathe?
If bald people work as chefs in a restaurant,do they have to wear hairnets?
How can Darth Vader breathe and talk at the same time?
If there's a wheelchair-bound comedian, is it still called "stand-up"?
When the French swear do they say pardon my English? MyHotComments
Life only comes around once make sure u spend it with the right person.... SO find a Guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot... who calls you back when you hang up on him... Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep... Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead... Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats... Who holds your hand in front of his friends... Who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you... Who turns to his friends and says, ' That's her!!MyHotComments
When a boy is quiet ... millions of things are running in his mind.
When a boy is not arguing ... he is thinking deeply.
When a boy looks at u with eyes full of questions ... he is wondering how long you will be around.
When a boy answers ' I'm fine ' after a few seconds ... he is not at all fine.
When a boy stares at you .... he is wondering why you are lying.
When a boy let you lays on his chest ... he is wishing for you to be his forever.
When a boy wants to see you everyday... he wants to be yours 4eva.
When a boy says ' I love you ' ... he means it.
When a boy says ' I miss you ' ... no one in this world can miss you more
A girl and a guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle.
Girl:Slow down, i'm scared.
Guy:No, this is fun.
Girl:No it's not, please, it's so scary.
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl:I love you, slow down.
Guy:Now give me a big hug
She gave him a big hug
Guy:Can you take my helmet off & put it on yourself, It's really bothering me.
The next day in the newspaper, a motorcycle crashed into a building due to brake failure. Two people were involved, but only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road the 18 year old boy realized that his breaks weren't working, but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead, he had her hug him and tell him she loves him one last time. Then he had her put his helmet on so that she would live, knowing that he would be the one to die.MyHotComments
YOU DON'T LOVE A PERSON
FOR THEIR LOOKS OR THEIR CLOTHES
YOU LOVE THEM BECAUSE THE SING A SONG
THAT NOBODY BUT YOU CAN UNDERSTANDMyHotComments
1. YOUR REAL NAME:
2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME:(first 3 letters of real name plus izzle):
3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal):
Lime Green Horse
4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, and current street name):
5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, last 3 letters of mom's maiden name):
6. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite drink):
Hot Pink Sprite
7. YOUR ARAB NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your mom's maiden name, 3rd letter of you dad's middle name, 1st letter of a sibling's first name, last letter of your mom's middle name):
8. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother's middle name):
9. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one your pets):
that I bought you roses
to tell you that I like you
That I was raised with respect
not to sleep with you when you were drunk
That my body's not ripped enough
to "satisfy" your wants
that I open your car door,
and pull out your chair like I was raised
That I'm not cute enough
to be "your guy"
That I am actually nice;
not a jerk
I don't have a huge bank account
to buy you expensive things
I like to spend quality nights at home
cuddling with you, instead of at a club
I would rather make love to you then just screw you
like some random guy.
That I am always the one you need to talk to,
but never good enough to date
That I always held your hair back when you threw up,
and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car,
but when we went out you went home with another guy
That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere,
but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend
If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat,
only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around
If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call,
to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work
that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.
If you read this and know somebody like this
but don't care
But most of all
For not being sorry anymore
That you can't accept me for who I am
I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good
enough to make it in your world.
I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it,
I thought that was what friends were for...
That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.
That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.
That I cared
that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.MyHotComments
One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.
Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out.
She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up, and begins to read her book. The peace and solitude are magnificent.
Along comes a Fish and Game Warden in his boat.
He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am.What are you doing?
'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?').
'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her.
'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading.'
'Yes, but I see you have all the equipment.
For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.'
'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,' says the woman.
'But I haven't even touched you,' says the Game Warden.
"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."
'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.
MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads.
It's likely she can also thinkMyHotComments
You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.MyHotComments
SOME PEOPLE COME INTO OUR LIVES
AND GO QUICKLY,
OTHERS STAY AWHILE
AND LEAVE FOOTPRINTS ON OUR HEARTS
AND WE ARE NEVER THE SAME AGIAN.MyHotComments
SOMEDAY YOU'LL CRY FOR ME.
LIKE I CRIED FOR YOU.
SOMEDAY YOU'LL MISS ME.
LIKE I MISSED YOU.
SOMEDAY YOU'LL NEED ME.
LIKE I NEEDED YOU.
SOMEDAY YOU'LL LOVE ME,
BUT I WONT LOVE YOU.MyHotComments
When She walks away from you mad===[ Follow her]
When she stare's at your lips===[ Kiss her ]
When she pushes you or hits you===[ Grab her and don’t let go ]
When she start's cursing at you===[ Kiss her and tell her you love her ]
When she's quiet===[ Ask her what’s wrong]
When she ignore's you===[ Give her your attention ]
When she pulls away==[ Pull her back ]
When you see her at her worst===[ Tell her she's beautiful ]
When you see her start crying==[Just hold her and don’t say a word ]
When you see her walking==[ Sneak up and hug her waist from behind ]
When she's scared===[ Protect her ]
When she lays her head on your shoulder===[ Tilt her head up and kiss her ]
When she steal's your favorite hat==[ Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night]
When she teases you===[ Tease her back and make her laugh ]
When she doesn’t answer for a long time===[ reassure her that everything is okay ]
When she looks at you with doubt==[ Back yourself up with the TRUTH ]
When she says that she likes you==[ she really does more than you could understand ]
When she grabs at your hands===[ Hold hers and play with her fingers ]
When she bumps into you===[ bump into her back and make her laugh ]
When she tells you a secret===[ keep it safe and untold ]
When she looks at you in your eyes===[ don’t look away until she does ]
WHEN SHE MISSES YOU===[ SHES HURTING INSIDE]
When you break her heart===[ the pain NEVER really goes away ]
When she says its over===[ she STILL wants you to be hers ]MyHotComments
♥Bella: Do I Ever Cross Your Mind?
♥Bella: Do You Like Me?
♥Edward: Not Really.
♥Bella: Do You Want Me?
♥Bella: Would You Cry If I Left?
♥Bella: Would You Live For Me?
♥Bella: Would You Do Anything For Me?
♥Bella: What would u choose,me or your life?.
♥Edward: My Life.
♥Bella Runs Away In Shock And Pain And Edward Runs After Her And Says:
♥The Reason You Never Cross My Mind Is Because Your Always On My Mind
♥The Reason I Don't Like You Is Because I Love You
♥The Reason I Don't Want You Is Because I Need You
♥The Reason I Wouldn't Cry If You Left Is Because I Would Die If You Left
♥The Reason I Wouldn't Live For You Is Because I Would Die For You
♥The Reason I'm Not Willing To Do Anything For You Is Because I Would Do Everything For You
♥The Reason I Choose My Life Is Because You Are My Life!♥MyHotComments
Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
Man: If I had a penny for every time I thought of you, I'd be a zillionare.
Woman: Well good you can go buy someone who cares.
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really? I'd put f and u together.MyHotComments
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.
FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM!
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Won't tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.
FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.
FRIENDS: Are only through highschool/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.
FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!
FRIENDS: Will help me find my way when I'm lost.
BEST FRIENDS: Will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions.
FRIENDS: Will help me learn to drive.
BEST FRIENDS: Will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance.
FRIENDS: Will help me up when I fall down.
BEST FRIENDS: Will point and laugh because she tripped me.
FRIENDS: Will go to a concert with me.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kidnap the band with me.
FRIENDS: Hide me from the cops.
BEST FRIENDS: Are probably the reason they’re after me in the first place.
FRIENDS: Get angry at you for calling them late in the night.
BEST FRIENDS: Ask why it took so long for you to call.
FRIENDS: Wonder about your love life.
BEST FRINDS: Could blackmail you with it.
FRIENDS: Lets me make an idiot of myself in public.
BEST FRIENDS: Are up there with me making an idiot out of themselves too.
FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"
FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days...”
FRIENDS: Help you find your prince.
BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.
FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.
BEST FRIENDS: Already has a shovel ready to bury the loser who made you cry.
FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.
BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.
FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.
BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.
FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.
BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run, b****, run, you're getting wet!"
FRIENDS: Will help you move.
BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.
FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "Damn it, we messed up, but that was frickin' awesome! We are so doing that again!"
FRIENDS: Tells you she knows how you feel.
BEST FRIENDS: Just sits down and cries.
FRIENDS: Would tell off your stalker for you.
BEST FRIENDS: Would tell you how to tease them and mess with their minds.
FRIENDS: Turn down the music when you ask them to.
BEST FRIENDS: Turn it up instead of down and smiles.MyHotComments
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don 't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"MyHotComments
You say Harry Potter,
I say Twilight.
You say wizards,
I say vampires.
You say Hermione,
I say Bella.
You say Remus Lupin,
I say Jacob Black.
You say Lord Voldemort,
I say the Volturi.
You say J.K. Rowling,
I say Stephanie Meyer.
You say Severus Snape, the Half-Blood Prince
I say Renesmee Cullen, the half-blood vampire
You say Hogwarts,
I say Forks.
You call me weird,
I say I'm a fan, so get over it!MyHotComments
You look at me what can I say?
Your heart is leading you in the wrong way,
But it's okay because...
Your the one I want,
Your the one I adhore.
You don't have to worrry anymore.
Your in my arms,
Your in my heart.
Because I've loved you from the start.MyHotComments
Side by side or miles apart,
A friend like you stays in my heart.
I love you dearly I can’t let you go,
I’ll be by your side through hail and through snow.
And when your heart broken and crying,
I'll be there for you when you feel like dying.
Can’t you see your one of a kind,
I could never bear to lose you, because a friend like you is impossible to find.MyHotComments
I hurt inside,because you’re gone
And in this night,I can’t see dawn.
The pain is proof,that you were here.
Your love has left,you’ve disappeared.
There’s this hole inside of me.
It pins me down, and I can’t get free.
You were the moon that filled my sky
But now your empty, and I want to die.
I hate that I’m weak, and can’t make you stay.
Without you my life has drifted away.
Inside I am empty, but I pretend I’m not.
It feels good to be numb,I wish for it a lot.
I just can't help,trying to hold on
But we both know,you're already gone.MyHotComments
Here I am loving you still
This love is making me ill
I can't help, but feel what I feel.
That's why I am standing here still.
I become so weak when I think of you
I suddenly don’t know what to do
Oh how I wish that momment I could redo
Now I lay hear heart broken, every second thinking of you.
Everyday I wake up thinking
That a piece of my heart is still missing
But I still keep on trying
To forget our love story’s unhappy ending
Letting you go was not easy
As we said our good-byes I felt dizzy
And even though you caused me pain..
My love for you will stay the same.MyHotComments
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.
You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.
You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?
I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!
I am okay.
I am in Jesus’ arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?
Every Abortion Is Just . . .
One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.MyHotComments
For as long as I can remember,
I've been wasting time on you, like it was free.
Patiently waiting and hoping, that maybe one day,
You would stop to think about me.
As I lay in my bed thinking of you at nights, freezing in cold sweat
I think about life,
And what my life would have been like if you and I hadn't met.
After all this time, I guess you still can't see.
I've spent all my days trying to convince you, alone.
And that’s a lonely way to be.
I still get excited sometimes,
And it gets hard to breathe.
The way I feel about you,
It consumes me.
It eats away at me like it's a disease
A lot of people have told me, that my love cannot be true,
But I knew it was more than real,
Because I knew I felt it for you
It's funny though, how things never changed,
Even when you told me they would.
While you're off with your friends.
I'm left alone.
With my life standing still
When we were kids, I swallowed it,
With love in my heart. I had no doubt
Now it's turned into something I don't want,
And I can't spit it out
I guess my love isn't good enough for you, it never was,
All I ever wanted, was to be with you,
To be the person you're thinking of
I just wanted to see you smile, I wanted your hand to hold,
I wanted you to be there, to make me feel warm,
When the world made me feel cold.
I look back on all those years,
And if I said I didn't care anymore, I honestly think I'd be lying.
Time poorly wasted.
It's something that I honestly regret.
But I want you to know,
That even though you told me I deserve to be alone,
And we could never be together,
You still mean the world to me.
And probably now, more than ever
Even though I don't get to see you anymore,
And our friendship has came to an end.
I can't help but feel the way that I do,
Waiting for the day that I can see you again.
I don't know why I was never good enough,
but I still love you, so much.MyHotComments
Mommy.. Johnny brought a gun to school,
He told his friends that it was cool,
And when he pulled the trigger back,
It shot with a great crack.
Mommy, I was a good girl, I did What I was told,
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!
But Mommy, when I went to school that day,
I never said good-bye,
I'm sorry Mommy, I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.
When Johnny shot the gun, He hit me and another,
And all because Johnny, Got the gun from his older brother.
Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,
And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.
And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now,
And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now,
And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best;
Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest.
: Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,
And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass.
Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one deserves this,
Mommy, warn the others, Mommy I left without a kiss.
And Mommy tell the doctors; I know they really did try,
I think I even saw a doctor, Trying not to cry.
Mommy, I'm slowly dying, With a bullet in my chest,
But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest.
Mommy I ran as fast as I could,
When I heard that crack, Mommy, listen to me if you would,
I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new,
I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,
I wanted to be an actress, Mommy, I wanted to live.
But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late,
Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date.
I love you Mommy, I always have, I know; you know it's true,
And Mommy all I wanted to say is, "Mommy, I love you."