*Stefan: You won't be sad forever, Elena.
*Damon: Is it working? Being in her world? Does it make you feel alive?
*Damon: What's so special about this Bella girl? Edward's so whipped!
Caroline: You've gotta read the first book first. It won't make sense if you don't.
Damon: I miss Anne Rice. She was so on it.
*Elena: We met and we talked and it was epic. But the sun came up and reality set in
*Damon: Great gal. She's got spunk. You, on the other hand, look pooped.
*Zach: You don't visit, Damon... You appear. Periodically. Reminding me that this isn't my house, that you're only allowing me to live here ... allowing me to live.
Damon: Someone had to mow the lawn.
*Stefan: They are people, Damon. She's not a puppet, she doesn't exist for your amusement, for you to feed on whenever you want to.
Damon: Sure she does. They all do. They're whatever I want them to be.
*Caroline: They look so cute together.
Damon: Don't talk. Please.
*Jeremy: Why don't we choose not to get high?
Vicki: I hope you're not one of those guys who now that we're together tries to change everything about me.
*Damon: You're dead, dude. Get over it
*Elena: I think there's something he doesn't want me to know, which makes me wanna know all the more.
Matt: Like he's a serial killer and keeps a clown suit in his trunk?