"ummmm do u tink it could b in 1st and not 3rd person? iand make it nt as rushed and u need to put n some more details im a fellow writer (my story ie 'if edward met bella in 1918') and i just wanted to sudgest some things u no writer to…"
ok im new so it might be badchapter 1new kidbella was walking to her car when she saw a new car drive up and park. then a hot guy named (made up) kyle stepped out and said, "hey im kyle im new could you show me around." "sure bye the way im bella swan." bella replies. "so wheres gym im kinda late" kyle asked "you have gym this class? because so do i." bbella says shocked and happy. "right so where is gym" "right this way." as bella and kyle walk away another new car drives in. a guy called…See More