somesome. i did those
My most boring part of the day:
I’m tired of reading, drawing, eating and whatever hobbies that I do love.
Pondering, maybe twilight is made for us to rest to all of the things happened in our long day. To think of our emotions if it is full of happiness, sadness, dilemmas, worries and more and more emotions,
The day of mine is glutted with sadness and worries though some of my time-this afternoon had been pissed to me. Why? Oh well because I was not able to help somebody, somebody who really needs help…
This afternoon, I was in a van-I do want to go home but still this vehicle is waiting for two passengers. So I sat at the back of two empty seats. Suddenly, an old woman came; she is wearing a very old suit, and I think she is 52 years old. She is holding two big winnowing baskets with lots of banana ques – the smell of the foods filled the air inside the van. It means she is a vendor-actually i called those vendor who sells on the road as “road vendors”. I thought she is the only one but no. A boy came, I think he is 7 years of age, he is very thin and wearing old suits like the old woman.
While on the road, the old woman is instructing the child of what it must supposed to do-how to sell, how to shout, and how is the way to go home – why? Why the child does needs to do this? He must be in school as should be studying. Oh I knew, they are selling those ques for their everyday living, for their foods and they don’t have much money for those tuition fees for the boy. I felt shocked ‘cause the boy just answered, “yes momma.” And he just smiled... I felt that I’m much very lucky, hell but I feel sorry for them.
The van stopped at a street then the child went out holding the one big winnowing basket - as if I felt the weight of that basket, and I felt the weight of my heart inside my body.
He said, “Bye momma, I love you.” – While saying those words, he smiled, a very wide smiled.
When the door had shut, he waved his hand and never moved on his place until the vehicle is out of his sight.
This time, I felt the fully weight of all my veins, my every part of the body, I realize the tears is filling my eyes.. So then I wiped it with the back of my hand and after that, as if I can’t move my body – frozen.
The van again stopped, the woman now went out. I was starring at her and I can’t move my eyes off her and then she was out of my eyes.
After a moment, I cried “dammit Jane! How could you? You did not even buy some of those foods. I’m such a big s***.”
Until now, the mother and child is still in my mind, those not expensive clothes-actually looks like rags, their faces, their body – it’s obvious that they don’t eat regularly.
And, here I am, just writing about them. Just writing-it actually can’t help them. I hope I’ll see them again, ‘because I will buy some of their food.
Because I know in their hearts... they will be happier than everybody else, because it will be such a big help.
thanks for listening :)
“Mom, I’ll just go to the bookstore”
“Ok, come early, because I’m leaving.” Mom said while cooking for dinner.
As I shut the door and ride at my mom’s car, I am thinking of love, love, love, because I am deeply, madly in love with him.
I can’t go on with my life if he will leave me. Urgh. Maybe it’s right, he is a good guy, he understand me a lot and I know that he loves me too. I'm just scared because i might be the one who loves more, I adore him too much.
As I enter the book store, I'm looking for a mysterious book about science when,
“I love you baby” a familiar voice said. I follow the sound where I came from. I saw him with the other girl. Is this true? No it can't be true, i know that he loves me.
"Oh, hi. what are you doing here? Who is she?" I asked, my heart wants to fall in its place but I waited for his answer.
"hmm, s-s-she is.. ahm s-s-she is" i know he is thinking for an explanation to tell me who is the girl with him.
"Who is she?" I asked out loud. I want to cry but i closed my eyes and i count 5 seconds then I open, still I am waiting for his answer but he can't speak.
“Oh! Crap! H-H-How” it’s hard to continue what I want to say but I tried so hard. “How dare you Mike? How dare you to do this to me?”
His face became pale as he speak
“o-oh let me explain, it’s not what you’re thinking.” Mike pleases.
I ran as fast as I can to get inside the car then I went home. I hardly tried to hide my emotions.
“Mom, I-I’m home.” I said effortlessly.
“Okay honey, I’m leaving, see you tomorrow. Your dinner is inside the ref.” she said
I went to my room and ask myself if that really what happen is happened.
And then I cried. Remembering those precious moments we’d shared. Why didn’t I let him speak?
Why I ran away, and didn’t do anything to him? I didn’t realize this time I fell asleep. I wake up; I heard a sound in the kitchen.
“Crap! I forgot to lock the door” I said silently.
I didn’t move in my bed and pretending that I am sleeping. I heard footsteps coming. I feel the hand touching my shoulder.
This hand is familiar. This is Mike.
“Please, don’t leave me. I can’t go on with my life without you.” These are the words I’m thinking this morning. “Please, please, please”
I sit slowly in my bed, “mike, please for a moment leave me alone. You have to find yourself first. I can’t be with you just for a while. Please give me space”
“How long?” mike asked with pleasing eyes.
“I-I don’t know.”
“No! You must not leave me!” he said out loud.
“Why? Just go!” I replied
I feel his hands holding my shoulders so tight.
“Ouch! Mike! Let me go!”
“I said, “You must not leave me alone!”” He said with angry scared. This is the first time I see him so angry
He slowly put out the kitchen knife in his pants, suddenly i fell somthing in my stomach. I touch my tummy and I saw my hand full of blood.
And my sight suddenly turn blurd then becam black.
Then I wake up. Sweating too much, then I told myself to breathe. I said to myself many time that it's Just a dream, just a dream. then suddenly I realizes I wasn’t on my room. What’s this place?
"where am i?" i asked.
“Siobhan, are you awake?” a voice asked. She’s wearing a white coat. She must be a doctor.
“You’re three days asleep. And you’re always mentioning a name, Mike Laurent. you're in the hospital.”
“So, it’s true.” I said
“Yes, I want to tell you something. I know him, and I know he is 25 yrs old and you’re only 17. I have to tell you that he has lots of girls, and
I had been one of his collections. I just want to advice that you have to go on. You’re still young. And please start all over again.”
“Is this thing also happens to you?” I asked
“yes.” A brief answer came to her mouth.
I heard the door open and we both look whose coming
“Hey, sweetie are you now alright?” my mom with teary eyes
“Yes, mom don’t you worry.” And then she hugs me, carefully but tight
After a week, I’m now allowed to go home.
“Doc, I thank you” a smile form on my face
As we are in the car going home, I know, I will be able to go on again, to start new life and be happy. I know I can. I can. I can.