I was staring hard at my coffee when he sauntered in, late for his date, but what was new? His dark hair flipped over his blue eyes as he laughed and apologised to the pretty blonde girl that had waited so patiently for him. She smiled; he could get away with anything, so long as she was his. I forced myself to divert my attentive gaze, how I wished that I was that girl!
They picked a table only a few away from mine, unfortunately in the centre of my view. She kept shaking her head at him, pulling back her long hair into a knot at the back of her head. He was telling a story, probably why he was late, hands animated and face slightly flushed after being out in the cold winter air. Staring at his hands, I wondered if they’d make me jump if he put them in mine, freezing in my warm ones… I shook myself. No, no, no! Don’t think about that…
Suddenly his gaze caught my own, sending a shiver of shock and pleasure down my spine, before looking away just as suddenly, pulling me out of my possible fantasies. I couldn’t take any more. It was agony.
I stood up quickly, knocking over the remnants of my now cold coffee, and fled out of the door, not even waiting to watch the slow spill of milky caramel onto the floor.
* * *
Winter hit me hard as I slammed out into the street, making my breath come out in soft misty clouds, stark white in the air. I pulled my raspberry beret over my short dark hair and wrapping my thick black woollen coat tight around me, began to walk, making sure not to cast a backward glance.
The cobbles before me were slippery with ice, and I had to take careful steps in my battered DMs so as not to fall. Happy couples wandered past me, laughing as the snow started to drift slowly down. I ignored them; I ignored the ache in my chest. The streetlights lit up suddenly, to brighten the way in the closely following dark. I shivered and snuggled into my scarf, it was definitely too cold to be wandering about with no real reason. But then again, I did have a reason, I wanted to see him one more time, just a glimpse… but that would be stupid, he didn’t even know me, hadn’t even noticed me.
I was invisible girl.
And I was in love with him.
I found myself outside the bakery, unconscious sudden hunger leading my feet there. I grabbed a pasty, and then I was out in the busy streets again, led by no reason, just there. The hot filling burnt the roof of my mouth as I bit into the steaming pastry, making me gasp aloud, the first conscious sound I had made since leaving the café. The café… I found myself repeatedly torturing myself with the way he had looked away.
I stared blankly at the path before me, tears threatening to stream; I blinked them back. It was time to go home.