Follow her on one of her dates with Golden Retriever Boy. Burp the abc's non-stop. After your done sing opera. Feel free to be as loud as you want.
Lock her in a room with Bella and Edward and pay the two of them to make out in front of her.
Cut off all her hair. Tell Mike that she did this so he wouldn't like her anymore… watch the fun!
Tell her that Edward wants to go on a date with her. Let her get ready, then cancel and tell her that the… Continue
Added by KB Wolfe on March 15, 2010 at 8:11am —
Imitate a golden retriever whenever he walks past you.
Tell him that Bella told you that given the choice between him and a vampire, she would pick the vampire. Get Edward to back you up.
Tell him that you know some of his distant cousins. When he asks to know which ones, show him. Bring in your pet retriever.
Take him to the mall in the real world. Let him be beat up by Twilight fans. Ditch him after about an hour.
Say do you still… Continue
Added by KB Wolfe on March 15, 2010 at 8:02am —
Tell her Edward got Bella pregnant. Or was it Emmett… Warning! You may be in danger from her throwing things/and/or having to guard Eddie, as she might try to kill him! SAVE OUR EDDIE!! :D.
After the first one, tell her that Edward and his family are vampires, Jacob is a werewolf etc. Bring up the fact that you think that the wedding will be lots of fun because all of her new in-laws will be there. If she hasn't passed out yet tell her that Phil just LOVES Esme, Edward's… Continue
Added by KB Wolfe on March 5, 2010 at 8:06am —
Buy him a motor cycle, tell him Jacob bought it, and pay Jacob to cry when Charlie refuses to ride it and wants to get rid of it.
Tell him the truth about Edward and Jacob (you know what they REALLY are…). Get Edward to back you up. awesome.
Tell him the Police Station fired him and is replacing him with Edward, seeing how he has way faster reflexes.
Set him up with Jessica... have her talk about how hot Edward is all night and how Bella needs to… Continue
Added by KB Wolfe on March 4, 2010 at 7:30am —
Tell her Bella wasn't sure if she was Edwards daughter or Jaspers. (This one is super-duper because you'll have 4 angry vampires instead of one!)
When she walks in shove human food in her face and say "Bon Appetite". When she says she wants blood. Scream "YOU FAIL. 'HUMANS' (insert Air Quote here) EAT HUMAN FOOD. YOU'LL NEVER LEARN"
Ask her what's she going to name her puppies.
Tell her "Nessie? Did you know Jacob had a big crush on mommy, and… Continue
Added by KB Wolfe on March 1, 2010 at 8:25am —
Pay a drunken hillbilly to follow her around and track mud/cow poop/etc all over her house.
Tell her Carlisle left her for Edward…and Aro.
Write her life story. Make sure it’s filled with things like how she two-timed Carlisle with Jane and how she is single handedly responsible for Global warming and the decay of the ozone layer. Send it to everyone you can think of. Send Carlisle two copies. Oh, and don’t forget to tell everyone she wrote it.
Added by KB Wolfe on February 17, 2010 at 1:56pm —
Tell him that Esme left him for a traveling circus clown.
Tell him that the only way to win her heart back is to dress up like a clown and sing the Canadian National Anthem, like her new boyfriend. Invite the WHOLE WORLD to come and watch! You will make a fortune on popcorn!
After the clown incident tell him that Esme left him for a hooker. A female hooker.
Tell him that Edward thinks he’s hot.
Send him some frilly pink lingerie. Tell… Continue
Added by KB Wolfe on February 16, 2010 at 8:00am —
When he is making his evil plans to get Bella, randomly say things under your breath like “That’s not going to work"
Sign him up for anger management.…no one can deny he doesn’t need it
Force him to read about his death in Twilight. Cry and then laugh under your breath. Make sure he hears both.
Chase him around with garlic. Get Jacob Black to help.
Show him those love letters “Victoria” sent Edward.
Force him to play… Continue
Added by KB Wolfe on February 12, 2010 at 8:00am —
Force him to read Alice slash and/or Jasper slash. When you’re done force him to write some. Note: It is advised you do not wear nice clothes because of the barfing hazard.
Send Alice gushy love notes from Mike, and make him read them all. Pay Mike to hit on Alice while she is with Jasper.
Get Alice and the rest of the Cullens to go someplace for the day. Don’t tell Jasper where Alice and Edward are. When he asks about them get all teary and say that they eloped… Continue
Added by KB Wolfe on February 9, 2010 at 7:51am —
take away all her left shoes
hide all her makeup brushes
take all lids off liquid makeup products
hide above listed items in La Push
Hide in La Push so she can’t “see” you
badly paint (or graffiti) her beloved yellow car
go through her closet with paintball guns, spray paint guns, chainsaw, or all 3…evil grin
let Jasper in on it and put him in some danger to distract Alice’s “eye”
tell her she’s… Continue
Added by KB Wolfe on February 8, 2010 at 2:15pm —
Tell him Barney doesn't exist
Remind him he has the least fangirls
Ask him how he feels as always being the youngest.
Stick a Hug Me sign on his back.
Steal his teddy bear; tell him to hug himself.
Tell him he has grizzly stuck inbetween his teeth.
one of Rosalie's admirerers that she has a crush on him, and get him to surprise kiss her... right infront of Emmett.
Ask him why none of his powers have intensified.When he… Continue
Added by KB Wolfe on February 4, 2010 at 8:35am —
Tell her that Bella is a thousand times prettier than her.
Tell her that Emmett has a tattoo of Bella on his back.
Tell her Jacob has imprinted on her.
Ask her if Jasper and her are supposed to be twins, why is he better looking?
Follow her around all day when she asks what are you doing, say "I'm trying to figure out how a vampire could be so freaking ugly.
Walk in on her and emmett then sit between them and start reading a bedtime… Continue
Added by KB Wolfe on February 3, 2010 at 8:17am —
When he’s in his wolf form, steal his pants.
When he’s a wolf and not paying attention, shave all the fur on his rear end off.
Buy him a load of dog toys.
Follow him around singing loud and off-key, “Who let the dogs out? Who who who who!”
Paint his motorcycle hot pink
Put up missing dog posters with his name on them.
Lick your fingers and touch his chest, making a sizzling sound.
Ask him about Air Bud, his… Continue
Added by KB Wolfe on February 1, 2010 at 7:59am —
15 ways to piss off Rosalie
1. Die her hair puke green
2. Tell her that she is ugly
3. Program the doors at school to play Barbie girl when she walks in
4. Order playboy magazines in Emmet’s name and put them in her room
5. Pay every guy at school to walk buy her and say look at her she is sooo ugly
6. Tell Aro volturi that Rosalie is in love with him
7. Paint her car punk green and write I had an affair with Jacob… Continue
Added by Real Jane Volturi on July 25, 2009 at 3:19pm —
25 ways to annoy Edward Cullen
1. Sing this is the song that gets on everyone’s nerves in your head when he is near you
2. Picture Bella and Mike Newton making out ( or any other boy)
3. Tell everyone in school that he is really a girl kick him in the nuts to prove it
4. Tell Jane Volturi that Edward wants to get married to her and move to Vegas to become gamblers
5. Tell everyone to hold a day in the sun day where everyone has… Continue
Added by Real Jane Volturi on July 21, 2009 at 3:43pm —
1. Fill his bed with leeches while he sleeps.
2. Fill his garage with vampire bats.
3. Stand at his doorstep all dressed up. When he answers the door, ask, "Is this Bella Swan's wedding?"
4. Fill his bed with ice while he sleeps. Claim it was because he has fever.
5. Tell him, "You need to get some sun! You're as pale as a bloodsucker!"
6. Replace his shampoo with dog shampoo.
7. Ask why he can't have a fancier car, like a Volvo… Continue
Added by Alice Cullen (The Pixie One) on July 17, 2009 at 3:05pm —
100 ways to annoy the Cullen’s.
1.) Take Jasper to an African American Support center and tell everyone there his full name.
2.) Talk in a really bad Texas ancient when around Jasper.
3.) Tell Carlisle that Esme has been having an affair with Aro Volturi
4.) Dangle Alice's favorite pair of shoes over your head when you are standing on the opposite side of the boundary line.
5.) Fill Edward's iPod with rap songs
6.) Fill Emmett’s… Continue
Added by The Real Amber May Cullen on June 13, 2009 at 1:30pm —
110 Ways to Annoy Edward Cullen
1. Call him Eddy, all the time
2. Give yourself a paper cut and make a point of showing him the blood, then put it in your mouth. Say, “Mmmm, Delicious! Want some?”
3. Say “you don’t look that scary”
4. Use vampire expression like “holy Dracula” and “good bye sweet Transylvania”
5. Visualize yourself naked
6. Ask him to help you do something impossible (save the world, build an atomic clock, help you with your calculus ect). When he… Continue
Added by The Real Amber May Cullen on June 9, 2009 at 10:10am —
well one day Mariana was sleeping over at my mom's old house and i was sound asleep and she had to go home so she couldnt wake me up in a more appropriate way so she jumped on top of me and i woke up and i saw her right there in my face and i was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo mad at her so i limped out of bed and started to chuck a pile of stuffed animals at her while screaming "why in hell did u freaking wake me up"(btw i was talking bout the place so its not a sin)
Added by Strawberry Swinger ♥ on May 9, 2009 at 1:35pm —
Added by ஐღ Viktoria ღஐ on April 1, 2009 at 9:18am —