The Twilight Saga

All Blog Posts Tagged 'funny' (34)

35 Things To Do In An Elevator

35 Things To Do In An Elevator

1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask, "Got enough air in there?"

2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.

3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors…


Added by Juliette Katherine Davis on August 5, 2011 at 12:53pm — 5 Comments



When my  husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we  were told the keys had been locked in it.  We went to the  service  

 department  and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock  

 the  driver side door.  As I watched from the passenger  side,  

 I  instinctively tried the door handle and discovered  that  

 it  was unlocked.  'Hey,' I announced to  

 the  technician,  'it's open!'  His reply: 'I  know.  

I… Continue

Added by Kaitlin on February 21, 2011 at 1:53am — No Comments


Have you seen cute icons lately? Post the cute ones, stupid ones, bad ones, and funny ones. NO CURSE WORDS IF POSSIBLE!


Here Are A Few Examples…

GiRlS aRe LiKe PhOnEs

Bunny and Stupid people


Added by Nikki™ on December 21, 2010 at 2:51pm — No Comments

Wendy's WIN:)

I found this and laughed my arse off. Seriously. Just read!

Added by Krystle Meth:) on September 21, 2010 at 7:42pm — No Comments

th awesomest twilight

what's up?hi,i need all the alyssa's to friend request me.because i need to figure out which alyssa is my name is ddog[kate.t].please,this would help me so much.

Added by ddog on March 14, 2010 at 8:09pm — No Comments


ok, im "you" and then theres this totally random guy named "stranger".

omegle is a site were you can talk to complete strangers. some are perves. personally, i like to prank ppl. here a convo!

You: listen, i dont know what to do anymore. maybe were not right for each other.

Stranger: oh no we are

Stranger: trust me

Stranger: i'm a doctor

You: but, youve changed. and those are the most scary words in the relationship vocabulary.

Stranger: i'm… Continue

Added by ♍☠★NUM 1 JOKER FAN★☠♍ on January 17, 2010 at 1:43am — No Comments


After Hayley comforted me, we just stood there, looking at each other awkwardly. Finally, Hayley broke the silence. "You know, this may turn out to be one of the stupidest things I've ever done, but...I'll go." Before I could interrupt, she continued. "I know, I know. I don't have to go if I don't want to. I know my mom'll be coming here in about a week and she'll get the problem fixed, but...I don't know. I've kind of always felt I wanted to run away...I mean, I've never really felt… Continue

Added by ScubaGrl<3 on January 6, 2010 at 5:19pm — 3 Comments


(theme music)host begins to speak

hi im here with two of the hottest guys on the planet

EDWARD AND JACOB(team edward and team jacob yeahs and boos)

HOST:now for our first canidate edward cullen!

EDWARD:hi everyone

HOST: so our first questions are about romance*crowd oohs and awws*

host:edward what is your expectations of a date

edward:well me an BELLA *flashes a smile at jacob*believes that as long as were together and i never leave her it doesnt… Continue

Added by mecca verdell on January 5, 2010 at 8:22pm — No Comments

Backwards poem

Ladies and Gentlemen, skinny and stout,

I'll tell you a tale I know nothing about;

The Admission is free, so pay at the door,

Now pull up a chair and sit on the floor.

One fine day in the middle of the night,

Two dead boys got up to fight;

Back to back they faced one another,

Drew their swords and shot each other.

A blind man came to watch fair play,

A mute man came to shout "Horray!"

A deaf policeman heard the noise and

Came to… Continue

Added by ☠♥Abby♥☠ on December 23, 2009 at 4:49pm — 4 Comments

Beyond the Bored

i am so tired. so bored. i am home alone babysitting and i feel as though my eyes are going to start bleeding. It's raining where i am and i just stopped playing a game of monopoly with my five year old and ten year old sisters. it's quiet. my 10 year old sister, S, is picking at her toes. While my 5 year old sister, A, is playing on the computer. there is only the sound of Chinese strings on you tube and rain. Rain rain rain and more rain.

i love the rain. don't get me wrong. it's one of… Continue

Added by Ember Lucinda Night on December 4, 2009 at 10:58pm — No Comments


"Well, where do you want to go? We can go anywhere you want," I said.

"Aaanywhere?!" Hayley asked, a greedy expression on her face.

"Yes, anywhere," I said.

"Well, Hawaii would be pretty nice, don't you think?! Haha, just kidding. I would never ask you to do that. Do you know how expensive those plane tickets are?" she said.

"Sure, Hawaii. This should be fun!" I said, and she looked confused. "What? Trust me, money isn't a problem for my family." I said. She still looked… Continue

Added by ScubaGrl<3 on November 21, 2009 at 4:42pm — 6 Comments

Twililght: Vampires in Heat

Here's a video trailer for a spoof Twilight movie. I hope you all enjoy.

Added by Black20 on November 20, 2009 at 4:12pm — No Comments


I have to admit, I am a stubborn person. So Hayley finally gave in to make me happy, because she knew I would be miserable if she refused and wanted to stay in that house.

We left that night. I told her to go pack her clothes, but to not let her father see what she was doing. She said that wasn't a problem, since he was working the night shift tonight. So I went to my house. This would be hard. I walked in, and all my family was in the living room. Right when I walked into the room, they… Continue

Added by ScubaGrl<3 on October 24, 2009 at 8:35am — 3 Comments


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------… Continue

Added by Angel Night on August 14, 2009 at 8:12pm — 1 Comment


Right when I got home (Hayley and I agreed it was too late for her to come over today, so she'll come over tomorrow), I left with my family to go far into the woods to hunt. We did it as quickly as possible, and we were back before school started the next day. I wanted to hunt as much as possible, even though Hayley was not tempting to me at all. I wanted to be safe, just in case. I don't want to take chances.

As I was pulling out of the driveway in my car (a black Mazda RX-8, which is a… Continue

Added by ScubaGrl<3 on August 10, 2009 at 10:57am — 4 Comments


Okay, well, I'm not always right, which is a good thing right now. Hayley wasn't mad at me, but at our social studies teacher. She did something you really shoudln't do with Ms. Wagoner.

She stomped up to her and started yelling, "Hey, why do you have to be so strict? All the other teachers are NICE in this grade and would just have told him to pay attention! Why do you have to be so mean?" Then she just walked back, calmly and slowly, back to her desk and looked around like nothing had… Continue

Added by ScubaGrl<3 on August 4, 2009 at 8:23am — 1 Comment

Read it !!! lol

A mother passing by her son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up.

Then she saw an envelop, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to "mom" With the wost premonition she opened the envelop and read the letter.

Dear Mom,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writting you. I had to elope with my girlfriend because I wanted to aviod a scene with Dad and you. I have been finding… Continue

Added by Zoey on August 3, 2009 at 12:30am — No Comments

So bored...

omg..i didn't write any blog posts yet and i am bored...well this is just like emma's but from my pov!! so read hers and mine cus its funny. (this was Emma's idea not mine so don't give me ANY credit!! And Emma just let me know if u don't want me to copy u)

First of all we have Emma-She is my only friend from my class on the twilightsaga cuz everyone else decided to ditch us!! but anyway...Emma is really nice...enjoys joking around with me(well so does everyone else… Continue

Added by Shelby Roberts on July 27, 2009 at 11:12pm — 7 Comments


~~Chapter 3~~

It turned out, the only classes I had with her other than language was social studies and science. Without me she had math, gym, and art. But I told Hayley I would fix that, and I did. I went to the office and told the office lady I was being bullied in my classes and asked her to get them changed. She said ok and I told her which classes I wanted, making them all Hayley's classes. But of course, she didn't know that.

At lunchtime she sat at my table, along with Keith… Continue

Added by ScubaGrl<3 on June 10, 2009 at 9:55am — 1 Comment

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