The Twilight Saga

So I am writing a book about Alice Cullen and what her human life was like before she became a vampire. Its still a working progress but I would love to hear your TRUTHFUL opinions on it. Thank you and I hope you enjoy it.



Most people would be very bored sitting outside of a dressing room waiting for your little sister to get done, but not me. I love helping pick out outfits for people, so this was exciting for me. But since she was taking her time, I was getting a little irritated.
“Cynthia are you almost done yet? I don’t know how much longer I can stay out here waiting for you to put the dress on.”
“Mary can you please calm down, I am trying to hurry. It’s a bit difficult to get in this dress by myself.” Little sisters! They always seem to know how to strike your nerves. My mama always says that I am an impatient lady, and that I need to learn how to calm down and take a few breaths. Its not so much as me being impatient, but me being overly excited with anticipation.
Cynthia slowly opened the dressing room door and stepped out. “O Cynthia!” I appraised the dress on her. It was elegant, a violet color. It complimented her olive-skin tone and her long deep black hair. The dress was made out of soft silk, making her look mature for her twelve years. The dress hung down her body as though the dress was made for her.
“It’s perfect! Mama will love this dress on you, and mama will be happy that I found it!” I took her hand and swirled her in a tiny circle. She blushed.
“You don’t think it’s too fancy Mary? I mean, after all, we are just having a family reunion.”
“O hush Cynthia, you look great. Now hurry up and get out of that dress. We have more shopping to do.” The idea of shopping some more, made me squeal. As soon as we bought Cynthia’s dress, I was dragging her down the sidewalk.
We walked into all the stores that happened to cross our path. Within hours, we had bought Cynthia a new dress, cute white shoes, a matching necklace with hair accessories. Of course I got myself a necklace to go with my blue dress.
Ugh, my blue dress! The one that grandmamma bought me last year for my birthday. I didn’t like it. It was not something that I would choose to wear any time. I don’t’ like hurting grand mamma’s feelings, so I wear it for her sake. But what she doesn’t know is that I only wear it when the family goes and sees her. Other than that, it sits in the back of my closet rotting away.
I smiled at my cleverness.
“Mary it’s starting to get late, we better head home to mama before she gets mad.” I was reluctant to go; I was having so much fun! But I knew that if we came home late, I would hear it from papa.
I sighed, “Fine, let’s go home.”
I grabbed her hand and we walked across the street. We did not shop on this side during our, well my, look out for clothes. On this side of the street, all the buildings had a brick pattern to it, making them all look the same. Above of the shop’s entrance ways, there hung green umbrellas -personally that was a terrible color choice next to the brick pattern- and on the umbrella’s were each of the shop’s names. The sidewalk was kept litter free, and all the trees look rather healthy, blossomed with new green leaves. All the shop’s each held a charm of its own. But only one caught my eye.
It wasn’t because this shop was more charming than the others on the street. It was because of the gorgeous dress I saw in the display window. I slowed to a stop in front of the window. It was white and hung down in little ripplets to the floor. On the collar were thousands of small, pink, sparkling pearls. I squinted my eyes to see the price, fifteen dollars, that wasn’t too expensive.
I would have kept staring at the dress, but Cynthia was tugging on my sleeve.
“Mary come on we have to be home before nine.”
I ignored her reminder and changed the subject.
“O Cynthia! Is it not the most beautiful dress you have ever seen?” I was beginning to imagine all the accessories I could wear with this dress. Hmm… I could wear it with white heels, and my hair done up in a bob. Oh, and a pink handbag wouldn’t hurt either! I could most defiantly see myself wearing this dress! I could tell that the beads would compliment my brown eyes, and the length of the dress would compliment my curve.
“Mary no!” She must have guessed what I was staring at, “we are done shopping. Can we please go home…now!” I ignored her demand and walked into the shop called ‘La Misses’.
When I opened the shop’s door, a little tinkle noise went off, indicating costumers are here. The shop was no bigger than a family room in a house. There were about ten racks out, holding a lot of clothes; male shirts and trousers, and woman’s dresses. For a first in my life, I didn’t care about the other clothes. I wanted something different, something better, the dress in the window.
But I was suddenly distracted from the thought of the dress. A bewitching woman strolled graciously from the back room. She was the most beautiful thing I have ever laid my eyes on. Her skin was paler than chalk, and her bright red hair appeared as if it were on fire.
She smiled, flashing her pearly white teeth at me and Cynthia. “Welcome ladies, how may I help you?”
I smiled back at her –what a nice looking lady.-
“Hi my name is Mary, and this is my little sister Cynthia. I could not help but notice that beautiful dress in the window there,” I pointed to the window that held the dress. “I was wondering if I may try it on?”
“Of course you can Mary, hold on for one second please.” I watched the red head go back into the back room. “James can you please come out here and help Mary.” When this woman talked, it sounded like bells were ringing delicately in my ears, it was very entrancing.
Out of the corner of my eye I notice Cynthia getting anxious. I looked up at her and smiled a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry Cynthia; we will head home as soon as I try on that dress.”
She looked down at me, and whispered harshly in my ear. “Mary this is ridiculous, we can come back tomorrow”
I was not about to abandon my hopes on getting that dress. “We cannot come back tomorrow, we have the family reunion. Besides Cynthia, I would like to wear this dress to the reunion.”
“Don’t you already have one Mary? You know that blue one that Grandmamma bought you for your fifteenth birthday?”
“Yes I was planning on wearing it, but this dress is so much better.” I was not looking forward to the family reunion, because I would have had to wear that blue dress. It was too itchy and bulky, and it was something my great grandmamma would wear. I was not about to be caught dead in that blue dress. Besides this new white dress was what I would wear tomorrow.
“Good evening ladies how may I help you?”
I turned me attention to the non-ringing voice. I was stunned to silence. This man, this James, was so unremarkably ugly. His face was covered in blemishes, his hair was a messy brown, and his teeth were obviously not on the top of his hygiene list. Also it wouldn’t hurt him if he wore clothes that matched; purple and red don’t go together at all. I struggled to keep myself from smirking and giving him a make-over. Cynthia was not that successful at it, but she soon had composed herself.
“Um…Yes, can I please try on that dress?”
“Of course you can,” he turned towards the window. He pulled a small silver key from his pocket and placed it in the lock. When the back board was unlocked, he opened it like a door and stepped in the display window to retrieve the dress. As soon as he came out from the display window, I skipped to his side, and grabbed the dress from his hands.
“Oh it is much better than I thought! Cynthia don't you agree with me? Is it not the most beautiful dress?” I looked at her with wide eyes. I hungered for her agreement.
“Yes Mary it is very pretty,” she was fidgeting, obviously wanting to go. “Hurry up and try it on, we’re going to be late for dinner.”
I giggled at her. I think its funny how alike her and mama are. Always following the rules, both were mature for their age, they also do things in a hurry, like shopping, and they are both taller than me. In fact, they even look like each other. I got my dad’s genes. I skipped joyously to the dressing room with the dress in my hands.
I quickly undressed and slipped into the white dress. Aw, it was so silky. The silk seemed to be attuned to my skin. I studied myself in the mirror, and instantly fell in love. I was defiantly going to buy this dress. I was mesmerized on how lose the fabric hung on the dress, so I turned in a slow circle, while trying not to hit the walls in the cramped dressing room. The dress twirled around me showing off my legs. I smiled at myself in the mirror. I was about to do another spin, but darkness had swallowed me up and I was sent into a dizzying spell of pain.

“Shh James, I know it hurts, shh.” Said the red head, while gently rubbing his face and hair with her pale hand. I couldn’t help but listening to her beautiful voice that flowed out her lips. But I was soon caught off guard by James’s agonizing screams.
“Ah, Victoria! Why! It hurts, put out the fire! Put it out!”

I didn’t know where I was, or what had just happened. Just a second ago I was watching the redhead, Victoria, comforting James and I was hearing James agonized screams, and I saw that beautiful red head comforting him. But here I was, leaning against a wall, in a cramped room, in a white dress.
I took a long deep breath to steady my frantic heart. I had no idea where I was. I looked around me. I was in a cramped room, wearing a beautiful white dress. On the floor there was a soft green dress. I looked in the mirror. I studied the girl that was looking at me, and I just stared at her. Slowly, I was beginning to regain some memory back. After about a minute of trying to remember where I was, everything began spinning in slow circles. That’s when I remembered where I was, and what I was doing. I leaned against the wall and waited for the spinning to stop.
When the spinning stopped, I began undressing. Right when I got the white dress on its hanger, I began feeling sick; like I was about to pass out. I opened the dressing room door ajar; I stuck my hand out, and gave Cynthia the dress.
“Here Cynthia, can you please pay for this? I’m starting to not feel good, and we need to get home.”
I closed the door to change back into the green dress. But before I could fully finish buttoning the buttons in the front, little spots of blackness surrounded me. And I was plunged, yet again, into darkness.

“Um goodbye Mary and Cynthia have a good day,” said the red head .I watched me pull Cynthia out of the store, and start sprinting towards home
“That was interesting would you not agree Victoria?” James walked over to the slender pale lady, Victoria, and took her lovely hand in his. It looked like he was staring off where me and Cynthia had jus been.
“Yes, very interesting.”
“I wonder what made Mary act all jumpy?”
“I don’t have the slightest idea,” it looked like she was smiling to herself. Victoria began to walk towards the back room, tugging James along with her.
“So…You were going to tell me secret?” James asked in a seductive voice.
Victoria stopped walking and stood in front of a tower of male trouser boxes. “James I want to apologize now. What I am about to do will cause you great pain and suffering. But I love you and I’m selfish. I want you James.” She leaned her head against his chest
She inhaled.
“Victoria I love you too.” His forehead furrowed between his eyes, “but what do you mean by ‘cause me great pain?’”
Victoria grinned. She lifted her head, and put her pink lips just inches from his throat, and whispered, “I really hope you survive this James.” She looked like she was smiling. The love in the air made my heart thud with tremendous joy for the two, and just as sudden as the joy arrived, it exploded into millions of pieces, because to my astonishment, she bit him.

The image I had just seen a second ago disappeared. I noticed that I was looking up at a ceiling. Well at least I think it was a ceiling. No, wait, it was. It was the ceiling of the dressing room of ‘La Misses’. At least this time I was not as disoriented.
“Mary, are you all right in there?” Cynthia asked, lightly tapping at the door.
Ugh! My head hurt, my eyes hurt. Now that I thought about it, my whole body hurts. I moved my head to the side and noticed I was sprawled out on the dressing room floor. Did I fall?
I cleared my throat.
“Um…Yes I’m alright. I…Just got a little light headed from being sick.” I cautiously stood up from the floor, stretching to see if I broke anything. There was soreness, but nothing seemed to be broken. I quickly finished buttoning up my dress and walked out of the dressing room.
“Mary are you alright? You look terrible!” Cynthia’s hand fluttered to my forehead. “My goodness, you are so cold. We better get you home.” She grabbed the white dress we bought and headed to the front counter, tugging me along behind her.
“Excuse me miss, we have to go now. Mary is ill, thank you for all your help.” I was to busy trying not to throw up so I wasn’t really paying attention to whom Cynthia was talking to. Not until she spoke.
“You’re welcome Cynthia.” Her voice rang out into a sound of millions of ringing bells.
I jumped, frightened. I looked at the red head with wide, terrified eyes.
“You are Vic…Victoria!” It was not a question, but recognition of who she was. I pressed myself against a rack of male trousers…male trousers! The image I saw, not to long ago, replayed in my head.
I pressed myself closer to the rack
“Yes I’m Victoria.” She looked at me with a bewildered expression. I wanted to look away but, I forced myself to look at her; I needed to be one-hundred percent sure this was the woman in that image. It was a mistake. She was exactly the woman I saw, except she was aware of me. She stared at me with her bright red eyes.
Without thinking, I grabbed Cynthia’s hand and yanked her towards the shop’s door. “Um goodbye Mary and Cynthia have a good day.” I recognized the ringing voice, and the parting words. The parting words sent me into a frenzy. I pulled Cynthia's hand and started sprinting towards home, knowing James was watching us.

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Tags: alice, cullen., intertwined, james, twilight, victoria


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Comment by isabel cullen on September 3, 2009 at 9:41pm
it was very good i liked it
Comment by Amani Ross on August 22, 2009 at 12:24am
it was really good

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