He was standing there, right infront of me, on his birthday, taking care of me.
"Go and hang out with Quil," I coughed out.
"No," he smiled.
"I don't want to have to cough my lungs up on you," I warned. "It's just bronchitis, I've dealt with it before," I tried to reason.
"I don't care if it's bronchitis, or a headache, or cancer, I'm going to take care of you."
"Jake, it's your seventeenth birthday and the middle of the summer, go and hang out with your friends."
He walked off to the kitchen and came back shortly with a glass of water. He sat down on the edge of his bed and held the glass out as I coughed violently, sounding like a dog barking. I took the glass from his hand and rested against his shoulder.
"Seventeen isn't a big celebration, and I hung out with them yesterday."
"Jacob, I'll be fine. Don't worry about me. Go hang out at Quil's or Jared's and I'll go home and take a nap."
His eyes looked deep into mine, searching for something. "Do you really want me to go?"
"I love you, Jake. I want you to go have fun. I'll miss you terribly while you're gone, but I want you to go and do something for your birthday. All I'll be doing is sleeping, coughing, and blowing my nose. It's no big deal. If something happens, I'll call and tell you. Trust me, just have fun with your friends," I pleaded. I felt horrible that he was spending his birthday taking care of me.
"As much as I hate this idea… I'll do it for you," he whispered as he closed his eyes. "I'll take you home first, then I'll go." He bent down and kissed my forehead.
"I promise you, you won't regret this," I whispered as I rested my hand against his cheek and bent forward to kiss him.
"I highly doubt that," he sighed.
"You won't like it at first, but you will have fun."
He took my hand and led me down the hall to the kitchen. I finished off my water and he walked me home. The door was stuck slightly as I shoved against it. Jacob pushed against it with one hand and it fell open silently.
I looked up at him smiling and blushing. "Thank you."
"No problem, babe," he smiled as he kissed my forehead.
I led the way down the hall to my room. I had been lazy lately and had clothes piled in my chair.
"One last kiss before I go," he whispered as he bent down to my level.
I wrapped my arms around his neck, debating whether I really wanted him to go or if I wanted him to stay here with me, continuing this for a little longer.
My mental discussion was answered for me as Jacob pulled away then turned his back to my bed and sat down on the edge. He pulled me back to him and took both of my hands in each of his. I touched my forehead to his and stared in his eyes.
"I don't want to go," he whispered. "Not while you're sick."
"Jacob, Jake," I whispered. "If you're that worried about me, don't go. I think you should do something besides take care of me for your birthday, but I won't control you. Do what you want."
His eyes locked with mine. He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me closer to him. I pulled my knee up onto the edge of the bed, next to his leg. His hand released mine and he took ahold of my other thigh, pulling my other knee onto the bed, too.
"I want to stay here, with you. Not just because you're sick, eventhough that's the main reason, but because I want to spend my birthday with you. I want to spend every day with you," his face came closer to mine as his words quieted, and became stronger.
"Like I said, you don't have to go." I kissed his lips lightly. The taste of his musky scented lips lingering on mine.
He tilted his face to the side as he pulled his face away from mine slightly. I brought my face back to his and held my body as close as I could to him.
We never got tired of each other. I always wanted him closer, to have his arms around me. I wasn't only in love, I was also in lust. His body was unflawed; muscular, russet skinned, and perfect. It shouldn't matter, it honestly didn't matter. It was just a bonus. I could live without it. I kind of didn't want to, but I could. His tongue grazed mine and I felt faint. I collapsed into his chest and felt his arms wrap around me. His lips became more of a drug to me than they ever had been.
"It IS my birthday," he mumbled against my lips. I could feel him smile as he spoke.
"So?" I gasped as I briefly pulled my lips away from his. They returned to mine quickly and took my breath away instantaneously.
"I really shouldn't ask this, I already know your answer," he sighed as he pulled away from me.
"Ask me what that I already know the answer to?"
"Nevermind, selfish of me to even want to ask that," he grumbled, sounding angry at himself.
I thought about it carefully. Slowly, ever so slowly, I started to realize what he meant. "You mean… 'it'?" I asked, sounding like a teenager who had just hit puberty and was having "the talk" with their parents.
"Just, nevermind," he smiled as he brought my lips back to his.
I understood so clearly. Not even an hour ago I was thinking about the same thing. I had said no before… but I had started rethinking my answer. I just loved Jacob so much. There was no real reason that it had to be done, but I wanted to. I loved him and he loved me, I should need no other reason. Like he said before, God would forgive me.
I pulled away from Jacob and saw the look of confusion on his face. I shoved against his chest and was slightly glad that he had fallen back so easily.
"What are you do-"
"I changed my answer," I winked.
"Sarah, don't do this," he whispered as I crawled forward slightly and sat on his pelvis.
"Why not? I want to, I love you."
"You're not gonna do this just 'cause I asked to for my birthday," he stated.
"I want to do this. I've been thinking lately about it," I tried to explain.
"Are you sure?" he asked, his eyes scrutinizing my every move, my every facial expression.
"I'm absolutely positive."
He hesitated, still not believing me. I bent my head to his and kissed him. His lips were more energetic than ever. Slightly shaky because of nerves I guessed. I felt so small in his arms, smaller than usual. His muscles contracted spastically, I could feel them tighten. His hands constricted around my waist.
"I hate having to be responsible about this," he sighed as he pushed me away.
I stared at him, my eyes welling with tears. Why did I have to be so overly emotional all the time? "You're right," I sighed.
"I didn't mean to make you cry," he whispered. He sat up and wrapped his arms around me.
"You didn't," I sniffled into his chest. "I just feel so confused now," I confessed.
I felt like I was reading the different questions that popped into my head, like they were sentences from a book that I had never read before. Do you really want to do this right now, forgetting that it was Jacob? Could you live with this decision for the rest of your life? There's nothing agaisnt it, right? Why should I worry about my self-esteem level afterwards? This must not be right.
"I'm sorry, I was wrong." My voice sounded so small. "I need to think things through a little more before I make a decision," I mumbled.
Jacob laughed with me, his body shaking. "You really do. You're not the only one you're confusing," he smiled down at me. His lips lightly touched my forehead.
"If only something like this wasn't difficult to decide on," I sighed.
"Isn't everything like that?" he asked.
,/'I love you one, a-two, a-three shooby-doo. I love you four, that's more than I can afford, and I can tell, someday, that I'm gonna say the truth, I love you five.,/'
"Who is it this time?" Jacob asked as I picked up my phone.
"It's a text from… Hunter," I whispered.
I hadn't heard from Hunter since a week before my birthday. Noone had seen him either, not the Cullens or the pack.
"'I miss you'…" I read out loud.
"You've got to be kidding me!" Jacob sighed, exasperatedly.
"Why… w-why would he even… 'miss me' in the first place?" I whispered. "He can't stand me. He might have apologized, but I know he can't stand my sense of humor and slightly creepy personality."
"He's such a creeper!" Jacob sighed.
"You've been spending too much time with Lauren," I laughed at him.
"How will we know if he's telling the truth or not?" he asked, ignoring my jab at his slang. "Why would he even message you that? Does he not remember…" he trailed off, pointing at our hands that were together in his lap.
"Maybe it's a trick, he's found someone else that wants me gone. Or he misses Michelle and he wants revenge. There has to be a real reason behind this…" My thoughts were racing as I read the message repeatedly.
I decided to reply back.
"Ummm……………" was the best reply I could come up with.
Jacob smirked down at me.
"What's that look for?" I asked.
"You have no skill in getting information out of people," he chuckled.
,/'I love yo-,/'
I read the next message aloud. "'I know you miss me, too. The first day you saw me again, you wanted to be next to me, I could see it in your eyes;)'"
"Is he crazy?!"
"Mostly," I sighed.
Jacob jumped off of my bed. He was out the front door before I made it to my bedroom doorway.
"Leave now!" I heard him yell.
"Jacob!" I yelled behind him.
"See, even she thinks you're overreacting."
"No, I don't. I just don't want to be away from Jacob," I retorted.
"Why are you even trying?" Jacob asked.
"You know what!"
"It's possible for other people to see the same things that others do," his pale lips twitched into a smile.
"What do you mean?" I asked as I stepped down the stairs into my driveway.
He was around Jacob before I could finish exhaling. His hands on my arms. I tilted my head and stared at his face, it was distorted from the way it used to be. I could see the dimples resurface in his cheeks, they were off. His dimples were slightly rounder, barely larger than they used to be.
"I love you," he smiled down at me.
Jacob's hand grabbed Hunter's shoulder and flipped him, his back hitting the ground and pieces of gravel flying into the air and scattering around on the ground.
I stood there in shock, not from the sudden actions of Jacob. But for the first time, Hunter actually loved me. He cared enough about me to tell me to my face. It was what I had wanted from him all along… and it mattered to me.
Jacob turned around to face me. I stood with my mouth slightly opened and my eyes staring at the ground at Hunter. I felt a chill run up my spine. Jacob's eyes stared at me, not leaving my face.
"Jake,… I-I don't know why, but i-it matters… to me."
His face fell, his eyes saddened. "What do you mean?"
"It means something to me that he loves me…"