He. Loves. Her.
It. Matters. To. Her?!
How could I have believed her this entire time? How could I have been so blind to everything? She wanted my body, not me. Everytime she hesitated, she was debating right and wrong, but she gave up that fight in the end.
"Why does it matter?" my voice came out quiet, even though I was shouting in my mind.
"I don't know, but it does…"
"I knew it, I knew you'd never get over me," Hunter smirked.
"Shut up, that doesn't mean anything!" she shouted at him.
"I think it means something," I retorted.
"Jacob, I love you. I don't love him. Do you see what I'm saying?"
"No, I don't," I answered tersely.
"Neither do I."
"Nobody asked you!"
"Jacob, I love you with all of my heart. I despise Hunter, but it means something to me that he loves me… I don't know why, or how it matters, but it does." Her hand rested on my arm.
"It matters?" was all I could manage to say. My voice was dark and quiet.
Her face fell. I could see the tears welling in her eyes. It was killing me, everything about her was tearing away a part of myself. I loved her, I wanted her to be happy, I wanted her to be mine. But he loved her, and it mattered. She loved me, but how was I supposed to know that it wasn't a lie?
"Jacob, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you." A tear spilled over and ran down her cheek.
I clenched my fists, trying to restrain myself. Her hand slid down my arm. My self-restaint broke. As she tilted her head downward, I reached out and tilted it back up with my index finger. I wiped away the tear from her face.
"Don't cry," I sighed. "I understand… kind of. Don't worry about me, you have feelings, I just want you to be happy," I tried to smile down at her.
She reached up on her toes, wrapping her arms around my neck. Her face buried in the side of my neck. I wrapped my arms around her waist and hugged her back. "I don't want to lose you," she mumbled.
"You won't," I whispered as I kissed her neck lightly once.
"Really, you're gonna forgive her just like that?"
"Unlike you, jerk-wad," I threatened as I pulled away from our hug, but left my arm around Sarah's waist. "I understand difficult situations. But you know what I want to know more than anything?"
"What?" he questioned.
"How, after everything, everything you've said, done, or thought, you can still manage to even have the errant thought that you deserve someone like her?"
"I never said or thought that I deserved her, I just love her."
"You only love me because you can't have me!" Sarah said in disgust.
"Do you think that little of me?" he asked.
"I do," she whispered.
I never thought that I could see a dissapointed vampire. His face was saddened to a point where I almost couldn't recognize him.
"I guess I deserve that." Hunter sighed and walked passed us. "I'm sorry, I really am, for everything. I'm not giving up though, I'll just leave you in peace for a little while. I might not deserve her, but I love her, and I won't give up."
With those final words, he walked away. When he reached the end of her driveway, he dissapeared, running to fast for anyone to see.
I heard a loud heaving, barking sound come from beside me and I felt Sarah's body shake along with her cough.
"You shouldn't be outside," I sighed.
"I'm fine," she rolled her eyes as she sniffled loudly.
"I told you not cry," I sighed.
"I'm trying not to,… but it ain't workin'."
She looked up at me through her thick lashes as I laughed lightly at her. "I'm sorry, Babe. Don't worry about it though, I'll never stop loving you." I bent my neck and kissed her forehead.
"I'm glad," she sniffed. "But I think we might have to keep our eyes open for him."
"Sarah, I'll take care of him. I won't hurt him, but he won't get near you."
She reached on her tip-toes to wrap her arms around my neck again and kiss me. Her body fitted close to mine as I lifted her feet off the ground.
"Shall we pick up where we left off?" she asked.
"I'd like that," I whispered. "But first," I sighed as I knew of the visit we needed to make, not wanting to be annoyed on such a horrible level that we would be. "We have to visit Sam."
"Why does that seem like such a horrible thing? I like Sam and Emily."
"Paul, Jared, Quil… do I need to continue?"
"… We don't have to go exactly right now do we?"
I chewed her thought over. I took her face in my hands, staring into her eyes. "No, we don't."
"Good, 'cause I don't feel like going right now. I do, however, want to know why you are so okay with that meaning something to me though." She smiled up at me. Even sick and curious she could still blow me over with that smile.