Jasper was going to get cleaned up for the day when I dangerously opened my mind up to
anything. It was around four in the morning, we had just gotten back from a little
midnight snack. My body froze on the couch, I could feel my eyes widen, my ears
began to close out my surroundings and listen to the flooding visions.
There was the same girl I’d been seeing, she was afraid and angry. Although her body
was pale and her face was very pretty she was far too soft looking to be one of
“What’s wrong?” I tried asking her, calmly, not to scare her more than she looked.
Strangely I felt comfortable with her and she wasn’t afraid of me,
“Don’t let it hurt, Alice, please,” she begged. Her brown eyes were wild and anxious.
“I wouldn’t hurt you,” I wasn’t sure if I would, she smelt delightful, floral
somehow, but as soon as I spoke the words and looked intensely into her very,
very deep eyes I knew, I wouldn’t. I knew I wouldn’t let anything hurt her at
that moment. But why, who is she to me? But then, the thought, of something
hurting this fragile girl set off an unsettling snarl from deep within my chest.
I felt like I knew her already, like we were great friends.
“Alice it burns! Edward!” I could feel my features twist at the mention of my – for lack of a better word – my brother’s name.
My face was tight when I looked around for Edward and found him wiping his lips of
any remaining blood. He looked like he was in grief and he lowered his head
ashamed. He still watched the writhing girl pained, muttering, “I’m so sorry my
Bella, my sweet Bella…” When my gaze returned to the girl she was bleeding and
whipping her body erratically.
“Edward…Edward…Somebody…” the girl fell into unconsciousness.
Was I happy? Edward was letting the change. Will she live with us? The rest of my
family lingered around us in the dark room, happily, except for Rosalie who
glared. Jasper was at my side, holding my hand and soothing my need to go and
help the girl named Bella.
Then it closed out and ended. I tried to prolong the vision, this was the first time it had been so vivid!
“What did you see, Alice?” Jasper’s alarmed but controlled voice hissed in my ear.
How long had he been there? “The girl,”
“Is she still afraid? Alone?” he relaxed now that I was answering.
“She’s my friend, it’s like we were good friends. Edward, he, changed her,” When I
mentioned Edward I remembered her name must have been Bella. “Bella, that’s the
girl’s name, Edward and her were an item, I think, but she’s human…” I trailed
off; angry I couldn’t come to a sensible conclusion.
“Human? Edward would…”
“Edward would what, Jasper?” Edward shimmered in the doorway as the sun crossed through the trees. “Alice?” he pressed.
I hesitated and felt the calm and clear environment that Jasper was pulsating out of himself.
Jasper and I weren’t the only ones with miraculous powers, Edward could hear thoughts.
We had to be careful of what we thought, I kept my mind blank and studied
He usually tries to keep out of our minds but I knew even he wasn’t as fair as to not listen when he wanted to know something.
Edward’s eyes were suspicious I could tell he wasn’t going to drop this. He was serious
and severe his eyes were dark from the last time we’d been hunting, all
together, two weeks ago. It would scare any human…
Jasper could feel my sudden perk. I squeezed his hand to warn him to mind his
thoughts. Although Jasper and I have been with the Cullen’s for decades now, he
found it harder than the rest of us to learn to resist human blood - which
means, he doesn’t have much time to adjust to Edward’s powers which are
constantly on him to regulate his progress, upon my request, of course.
Thinking about his adjustment always made me worry. I glanced at him briefly; he looked
great and seemed even better after hunting. A spasm of anxiety momentarily took
over but I switched back to Edward.
“We were speaking about how we tend to scare humans. We were taking each of us
individually and analyzing the effect we have on people. Emmett scares everyone
the most, then Rosalie…”
We all heard a roar of laughter that shook the upstairs, it was Emmett. He was clearly happy with that.
I smiled and so did Jasper, looking innocently at Edward. He looked unconvinced but just enough to let it slide.
“Alright, how scary am I?” he mused.
“You walked in right in the middle of it. But we’ll finish and let you know.” I smiled harmlessly.
“Okay, we’ll be leaving soon.” He mumbled as he walked out.
I sighed as evenly as I could handle so Edward wouldn’t catch the hint of hysteria; that was simple especially with Jasper here.
I really, wish I could sleep! School actually is as horrible as children make it
seem. I’ve been fully aware of everything Jasper did and does, basically ‘round
the clock security. Any breaches were reported.
Edward covered his mental state while I spent every second I could with him.
thought. He had grown so used to my mental voice that he didn’t respond in the
slightest, I knew he’d heard.
We all, not just vampires, but everyone has a sound to their mental voice when
they think to themselves and Edward’s said the more he’s around someone the
more prominent and clear their voice is.
How is he holding up? I worried.
I didn’t like the minor response. His mouth changed inclining me to believe he
was frowning. My heart skipped a beat at that and my muscles tensed. My eyes
darted over to Jasper, without moving my head.
Is there any danger? Trying not to literally zone out I kept
my expression blank and bored as I searched swiftly through anything in the
I saw nothing that caught my interest, except seeing the same faces I did nearly
every day, sad and tired from the weekend now. Oh, and my history class would
have a pop-quiz today.
The only nearing danger was the small girl that I saw stand at the edge of a table
and her scent would sway by, but she would walk away unharmed - well after
being scared to death by a ravenous mystery family like the Cullen’s.
It took every ounce of vampiric strength not to drum my fingers impatiently or
reach out to Jasper and ask if I could help him or if he was getting
His head began to move idly from the bricks to the ceiling. He was shaking his
head. I sighed heavily, that could be out of boredom for all the others knew. Let
me know if it gets too bad.
This time only his eyes moved from the ceiling and back down. He agreed, I was so
grateful for him, though I didn’t like his special power at some points when I
didn’t want my thoughts heard. But Edward gave us what privacy he
could, that was reasonable. And now I owed him, it must be hard to listen to
Thanks for doing this.
And thanks for being the only one who still believed that Jasper could still do
this, even if you’re lying and you don’t believe it, thanks for trying. That’s
what I should have said to Edward.
My body was already tensed for the approaching girl. I monitored Jasper’s
movements, our hunting this morning, while it was small, it should lessen his
pain just by that much. He shifted in his seat, Edward leaned, and I’m guessing
he’s listening a little more intensely.
I couldn’t tell if my muscles squeezed when she dragged her fingers through what
small length of hair she had. Venom crept up in my mouth by I was attentive to
Edward will really be feeling this. Jasper must be driving him insane with how he must be thinking.
Jasper’s pale face twitched a little. I watched I don’t remember when I stopped breathing. Edward kicked Jasper’s chair and I reacted in the slightest way.
“Sorry,” Jasper whispered ashamedly.
He looked mortified. “You weren’t going to do anything.” I soothed. “I could see
that.” But even by my lies he looked unhappy. “It helps a little if you think
of them as people,” I suggested but this comment would confuse anyone in the
school so I spoke quickly. “Her name is Whitney. She has a baby sister she
adores. Her mother invited Esme to that garden party, do you remember?”
“I know who she is,” he said curtly as if something outside the small window was a lot more interesting. The grief will ease and he’ll come back a little.
I could feel his mood, like I had the same ability he did but only with him. He
was aggravated with himself and with my encouragement. I would back off. I slid
my seat out silently with my tray of untouched food to dispose of it. Sighing,
I danced to the garbage can while I could feel eyes on my back but my mind
never shifted from Jasper.
He was a great guy. As we all were trying to atone for being the evil monsters we
were he was suffering trying to please his every mood. We – Edward, Rosalie,
Emmett, Carlisle, and Esme, even Jasper, all look at not drinking the blood of
humans as a way to make up for our sins. Jasper couldn’t push himself more than
he was. That should count for something.
When I returned Jasper was still staring out the window, indirectly. Though I could
tell where his thoughts were. He was probably battering his self confidence and
that was very dangerous. We needed him to believe just as much as the rest of
us. I knew he did, he was just frustrated.
Jasper’s lucky he can control other’s emotions but his liability is his own emotions.
The issue here is everything is so easy for him to control, I don’t know how he
does it but it can’t be harder than controlling a thirst like we all do, him
more so. I couldn’t compare an ache to the thirst. The closest would be to an
alcoholic or nicotine addict going through withdrawal in the constant presence
of it, ten times magnified.
Yeah, that ought to do it – if one was capable of feeling this.
Whoever created vampires: I thank you for making us strong. It’s much easier to cope
with the constant need when you are so strong that human bones would shatter
under your fingertips. That’s not even the half of it - we can work wonders
greater than that. But it isn’t all physical strength; it’s also mental
strength and practice. Although, we can perform at advanced levels, practice
makes perfect still applies to us.
Take Carlisle for example, my fatherly figure, he’s been working at it for three
centuries. Think he’d be perfect by now, right? Wrong. We’ll never be fully
immune to the scent of human blood. We’ll never get over the light pulse
beneath the thin membrane of skin that encloses the blood within humans.
Humans…So full of blood and life…Key word: life.
I almost got carried away there.
Life.They had lives to live. Each one could have children, feel feelings we would
never, such as coldness, heat (besides the burn that we felt in our throat when
we were thirsty, but that’s different), hunger for actual food, quenched, full,
and plenty of others I would rather not be depressed for the day though.
“Jessica Stanley is giving the new Swan girl all the dirty laundry on the Cullen clan,” Edward murmured to Emmett.
A new girl, why hadn’t I seen that?
My eyes lingered over to the table where all the excitement was going down.
Jessica Stanley sat erect in her seat, a little smugly and over confident as
she spoke to the cowering girl. Something about her body looked familiar.
From beneath her shade of lashes she looked up towards my table. Was she not afraid of our universally known ostracized family?
I panicked when I recognized her, maybe she remembered me. I opened my mouth just
a little to speak when the brown, shy eyes quickly shifted to the table she sat
at. Edward was looking at her, his brows furrowed irritated and perplexed. She
wasn’t looking at me but at Edward. I relaxed. But she was the girl, for sure.
I would never forget her wide, mature, and easily read eyes.
I knew right away, human or not, Edward had fallen. Edward had finally fallen and been caught by this gentle, mortal – er Bella.
Another rainy day in Forks, Washington what a joy and people wonder why I’m in
a horrid mood all the time. Did it ever occur to them that it’s this place?
This place really gets to me. Not only the fact that we’re here but the fact
that we’re here angers me. Vampires existing period angers me but
I cannot change what was created by whomever, though I hope they’re damned like
the rest of us.
That idea gave me a little motivation to endure the rest of the day. So did the
roll of laughter anyone within the one mile radius could hear, Emmett’s. He’s
already big-headed enough, like me. I cocked my head with a smile. They called
him scary, I think, well that’s what I thought I heard.
“Okay, we’ll be leaving soon,” Edward muttered something to Alice and Jasper,
just loud enough so I could hear. This sentence has been repeated enough to
almost drive me to the point of insanity, or to the point of actually wanting
to get out of the house, to school. I made a disgusted noise.
The mirror in my room was impossible to miss; I glanced quickly into it and
smiled warmly - ha warm, as if - at the remnants of my human life appearance.
Golden locks of hair enclosing a once tanned face with wild gold eyes that were
at one point blue scanned my face, my body, this monster.
I snarled at the glass but relaxed when I saw my teeth and it reminded me that
my smile never changed, vampire or not, my smile was brilliantly light and
wide. A twinge of sorrow touched me and my features squeezed, smile fading.
“Rose, the others are waiting,” the voice I’ve heard day after day every day for decades spoke.
“Alright,” I muttered.
Our hands twined and we silently walked to the car.
Emmett and I have every class together. Who could turn down my Emmett’s playful face or my intensity?