The next day, I could see in Jacob's eyes how weak he truly was. He could barely hold my hand. I felt horrible for what I had done. It felt like I needed to be punched in the face. I wish I HAD been punched in the face.
Jacob's hands were warmer than mine, which fluxtuated from semi warm to what felt like blocks of ice. right now was one of those times when they were ice blocks. that, however was mostly due to my mood. I really wished I hadn't fed from him last night. He seemed so pale, today. He was never this pale. Surely someone at school would notice. at least that's what I thought would happen. But it never did.
"Would you please relax?" he whispered at breakfast. I barely noticed. I was too tensed up, waiting for someone to notice how pale he was. Or how weak. "You're going to break my hand!" he growled quietly.
I hadn't noticed but my grip on his hand had turned deadly. I was hurting him.
I quickly released his hand and hid mine under the table on my lap. I gave him a regretful gaze. "I'm sorry," I whispered I'm just nervous.
He leaned over and gave me a smile. "You know you didn't have to let go completely." I smiled back at him and put my hand back in his. I wanted the whole world to revolve around that moment, with him smiling at me. The only thing I didn't like about smiling was that when I was around humans I had to pull my lips up over my fangs so that they wouldn't show. It was so annoying. other than that though? there was only the fact that I was till anticipating how much longer it would take for someone to notice weak and pale he was despite the puncture wounds and the bruise on hiis neck. Thank God his long blode hair covered his neck almost completely. I knew better than to bite too close to the front. it left me with no other choise but to bite more toward the back of his neck, where the skin was more firm.
I almost lost my train of thought when I remembered the taste of his blood. I could feel his pulse beneath my fingertips. Suddenly, I felt a burning in the back of my throat and my fangs began to tingle.
I bit down hard on my lip. If I had been human, I would have bitten it off. I looked around at all the people who were close enough to see us. I wanted his blood so badly that I couldn't stand it! At this verry moment he looked both delisious and attractive. I realized, then, that I didn't only want his blood.
I shook the second want off and consentrated on wanting his blood until it took the other thought over, completely, until it vanished within me. I knew that this was a bad time for a feeding, and I knew that I had just ad one yesterday but I was being taunted by his warm skin and steady pulse.
I couldn't feed from him yet. It was out of the queston. There was no way that I was gouing to risk his heath, maybe even his life just so I could have my wants taken care of.
Ugh! why couldn't I have been able to control myself like my mother.
Or better yet, why couldn't jacob have been a day-walker so I could feed from him whenever I needed to, or felt like it? Then, he could simply go hunting to bring back his strength.
I honestly had never thought of this before. Why had I never thought of having him turned, before now? That would take care of a lot of complications between us.
We would be able to hold eachother for long periods of time and his life wouldn't be in jeopardy. We would be able to kiss for days, due to being immortal and having super human strength. We could run together! We could do all of the wonderful things that all the vampire couples that made up my family could do.
That, and I would never have to worry about any other vampires killing him. Or anyone else for that matter.
Aain, that had been the first time that thought had crossed my mind.
i lokked at him and considered his skin paler than it usually was, but with a healthy glow of secret immortality.